I have recently discovered that I am pansexual, but I don’t know if I should come out. I really want to, but I’m worried about what other people will think and how my friends and family will react. Hopefully, this will help me with some ideas or ways I can go about it. Anything helps. Thanks!

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#1

[Text messages]
Me: Hey, I have something to tell you...
My friend: What?
Me: I think I'm bi
My friend: :D I'm lesbian!
Me:
My friend:
Me:
My friend:
Me: OH MY GOD WE'RE LIKE LGBTQ+ EVIL DEMON FRIENDS
My friend: WE WILL BOTH RULE THE WORLD
Me: THOSE MERE MORTALS WILL NEVER RISE FROM THE ASHES OF THEIR SHAME AND HUMILIATION

(I think it went something like that?)

Fast forward a few months: They're genderfluid and I'm pansexual

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Noelle (he/fae/xe)
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#2

Hey, Sorry, this is lame, but I don't have a coming out story. I know that I'm definitely bi, but that's not the point of this post. the point is that y'all are so f***** brave. I'm so happy for all of you. you not only came out to friends and family, but to the f***** b boredpanda community!! So anyway, give yourselves a pat on the back, you guys are awesome.

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*hippie*witchy*bitch*
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#3

i accidentally came out to my parents because they saw BP and saw my user name. my brother already knew because he likes to snoop around my room. not many other people in my family know about it but I don't want to tell them just yet. i also might be agender but I don't know yet. but if I am agender i shall be known as the thing that likes hoomans.

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Asy_End
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#4

I know it says tell your story, but I don't have one so I'll tell my brother's.

It happened during dinner, the whole family was there. My dad is kind of a homophobe and his friend had recently found out that his son was gay and told my dad. So basically my dad was rebuking his friends son. He kept on making these mean and very offensive comments. My brother just kept quiet and continued eating. I was the only one who knew at that time that he was gay, so I kinda felt bad and kept on asking my dad to stop. Then he(my dad) said if he was his friend he would have thrown his son out cause he would never live with a (sorry for this) f***got. My brother calmly stood up and went to up to his bedroom, about 10 minutes later he came back down and he had his suitcases. My dad was confused and asked where he was going. My brother replied with a really calm tone and said, " I'm leaving. I wouldn't want you to live with a f**got'. And with that he left.

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Didi Wong
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#5

The past couple of months I've been trying to figure myself out. When I finally did, I was trying to figure out how to tell my mom that I'm bi. I'm not so good at talking, so I pulled up an article on my phone about bisexuality and gave my mom the phone with the article still pulled up. She replied "Oohhhhh" and she gave me the biggest hug in the world. She also said "I had a feeling!", which totally surprised me! I love my mom

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all_bi_myself
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#6

"Hi mom and dad, I like boys and girls"

"cool. your still not allowed to date either."

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Anthony Goldstein (female)
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#7

My parent's don't know, but i came out to my friends and they support me, we were all joking that we were 'gay' for each other and I was like, HELL YEA. and I told them lmao, it was great, I felt like I could be myself after that day
Now I'm wearing chokers and fishnets and dresses all the time lmao, and I can just be myself. it's awesome

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serenagun
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#8

I believe that sexuality is fluid and based on connection and attraction. So I guess I'm pretty bi.
I told my little brother first, and he told me to shut up, 'cause he was watching tv.

I told my friends next. We were chilling during lunch period in a classroom and I said,
"I have something I kinda gotta tell you guys..."
My bff says, "Oh, you're in love with (otherfriend)?"
Me: "God, that was so, two years ago."
Bff: "Wait... So you're..."
Me: "Turns out your gaydar isn't as good as you thought."
Bff: "Well, neither is yours." *wink*

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Rage of Aquarius
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#9

I just blurted out “I like boys and girls” in front of my mom and she’s like “ok.”

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Misty
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#10

For my schools rainbow day, I drew a bunch of pan flags on my arms. I think it was pretty obvious after that.

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rgr8
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#11

A few weeks ago I had a doctors appointment and they were asking questions to fill in my chart thingy. She asked if I liked boys or girls better. I said both and I saw my mom smile across the room.

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Bridget Price
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#12

I got into a HEATED argument with a very christian homophobe (i'm athiest) and I forgot that he was christian and I cursed him out, he told his mom, who told my mom, then I got grounded for cursing someone out. My parents keep saying to me everytime I metion something about me being lesbian they go "BUT YOU MIGHT BE BISEXUAL" -_- they want me to marry a *gag* male when I'm older. (I'm 14 and all of this was the thursday before thanksgiving)

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TheGayPandas
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¯_(ツ)_/¯
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3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

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#13

In the 2nd grade I told my mom a girl kissed me and she asked if I liked her. I said yes and that day I became a lesbian. Today I am bi

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The Bi Enderman
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#14

I don't have a story...yet. I'm gonna tell my bff first I think. I hope to dear god she'll accept me for who I am :)

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Blinding_Darkness
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#15

T H I S W A S T O U G H:

Me: Hey mom, dad

Parents: Yes?

Me: I L I K E B O Y S

Parents:

Me:

Parents:

Me: Yes

Parents: Ok :)

I was worried :')

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Just a friendly panda
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#16

I made a iMovie that once the music hit the first beat drop it said and I quote “I’m F*cking gay”

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dead gay heart
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#17

So me and my dad were on a walk and my dad said; "So are you a lesbian or bisexual? Or do you not have a label yet, you don't have to tell me I'm just curios." And i was like; HUH WHAT cause i never came out to him, He just looked me in the eye and said: Your favorite show is Shera and the owl house-


AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
i am a lesbian though

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Girl_In_Red
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#18

me and my friend lia were watching a movie and i mentioned i thought the actress where really stunning she got confused and i just told her im bi

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angie but who cares
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#19

this isn't my coming out to my parents, but to my aunt, so not sure if this counts, so here we go. my brother and I were visiting her, and she asked my brother if he liked any girls, so I said "I don't know about him, but I like girls." and it was the best thing ever.

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PastelPoison
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#20

i was in the kitchen with my mom and stepdad and i said "hey, i dont know if you'll accept me or still love me after i tell you this but... im bisexual" and my mom said "oh i already knew you just give off that vibe" and my stepdad walked over to me, hugged me and said "i will still love and accept you no matter what" and i hugged him back and started crying. (best stepdad ever)

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yang jungwon stan <3
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#21

I asked a friend in middle school if she also felt heartbroken when our other girl friends get boyfriends. She asked a few questions and said 'Oh honey, you're gay!'
Armed with this new knowledge I came out to my parents immediately, relieved to find out why I didn't like the opposite gender like most of my friends.
My father raised an eyebrow and my mother laughed and said 'you're just young!'
They thought I was joking and I never brought it up again.
Looking back on it I was lucky. My parents were extremely old fashioned Japanese folk.
My advice is to come out when you're ready, if that's what you want to do, unless you fear you will be harmed.
It's always better to be upfront in my opinion!

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Tomoe Taira
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#22

I haven't came out to my dad yet but my mom was like "ok cool, i dont care, but cool" so that kinda hurt but at least she didn't kick me out. Anyways, i did come out to my friends and they were all like "(my name), we know. he have known for a while now smol child." so yeah that is how it happened lmaooo its kind of boring but i dont really care! #loveislove #bisexualandproud

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¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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#23

Heyyy, it's me from the future. I just wanted to let Current Me know that I came out on January First, 2021, since 2020 was guaranteed to throw me into depression if I came out of the closet too quickly.

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CrazedFalcon17
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#24

Also me and my parents got in a huge fight and I blurted out that I was non binary and they supported me.

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The Bi Enderman
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Cadmar Orion
Cadmar Orion
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That must've been an interesting ending to a fight. If it ended it anyway

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#25

When I told my parents, my dad said it’s okay cause I seemed happy and my mom said that they would love and support me no matter what ❤️. When I told my older siblings (they’re both LGBTQ+ actually) they were fine with it. When I told my younger siblings they were fine as well.

(This was back in middle school) coming out to my FRIENDS was a whole different story...
I told my best friend but some asshole kid overheard and told everyone in the entire school and also shouted in the halls “LINA’S GAY EVERYONE!!” So even the teachers knew :(

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🧈Beanie the Dog🧈
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#26

Oh yeah, I don't have that story yet, :')

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TenkoChabashira
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#27

My parents were looking at my texts, and saw the bit where I came out to my friend -_-

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Christian Bradshaw
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#28

hi! my name is ender, and I'm nonbinary, trixic, and asexual. It took a while to find my name, but im here now so thats cool! I've gone through so many labels too... too many lmao. my parents kinda accepted me, my mom more so than my dad. my brother and friends were very accepting though I'm very thankful for them I love them so much. now I have a bunch of gay stuff in my room its great :))

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ender
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#29

When I first started to wonder about my sexuality, my friend sat me down and helped me figure it out, and came out to her and my other friend (who told basically everyone else) but now I know I'm actually pan. Not sure how to tell my parents or if I even should?

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Stack o' Pancakes
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#30

Coming out to my parents was easy, they were just like "yeah cool okay" but my friends were a different story. There was this kid that I knew that was kinda mean but in a somewhat playful way. He had jokes I didn't like and one of them was when he joked about me being gay. Anyways, after a while I started to realize I liked girls and guys, I first told my close friends that were Bi, and they thought it was cool. Then I told some other friends, then I took on the task of telling my Christain friends. Luckily, they accepted me, but now it was time to tell that jokester friend. Here is how it went:
We are in the gym, doing laps. My Bi friends and I walk up to the Jokester.
Me: Hello.
Friends: Oh wait, is this where you tell him?
Jokester: That YOUR GAY???
Me: Yeah? So?
Jokester: Proceeds to run around the gym screaming "I knew it"
(little did he know I'm actually Bi, but whatever)

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ProffessorChaos
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#31

My parents looked through my phone and found out I'm following the r/bisexual community. They found it by snooping, which kind of hurts. That pushed me out of the closet way before I was ready, and make me feel scared. I gave it a week and then said I was wrong and I am actually straight. They believed me. So, I went out to back in, and I'm staying this way for as long as I possibly can. :(
(Btw they were both fine they just made everything really awkward and I was scared so I took it back)

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Autumn Falls
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Cadmar Orion
Cadmar Orion
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry. Stay strong and get strong so you can come out for real!

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#32

im heterosexual but i just wanna say that if everyone was pan sexual the world would be a better place because everyone would like who they like and nobody can judge them for that. pls dont downvote just saying something :) have a good day (:

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reddaesthetics
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#33

At one time "coming out" was an important event to celebrate a young maiden becoming a woman. Balls, cotillions, etc., were required. As an ancient hetero, who loves words, I find it entertaining how the meaning of words change. However, I would have enjoyed the enticement of picking out a fabulous ball gown and dancing the hokey-pokey unto exhaustion. What fun !

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BananaAnna
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#34

I had an odd conversation with my mom at 1:00 am about how I didn’t feel safe around men. Then I messed it up. She asked me, What do you mean silly? Are you not getting married? And I went with it because it would have been awkward to go on

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VANILLA
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#35

First come out to my mom and step-dad, then my step-brother, and my friend. They accepted me for it but when I told my dad (He's christian), he was kinda okay but he talked to me about biblical stuff. I kinda get uncomfortable around my step-ma and my father sometimes because I feel like they don't really accept me but try to make it seem like they do, that's my story. =^|

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Adem Townsend
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Billy The Kid
Billy The Kid
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why do religion have to get into everything? BTW my surname is Townsend too : )

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#36

I came out to my best friend a few months ago. She’s the first person I’m out to and I was worried she would become uncomfortable around me after I told her. I sent her a coming out song I found on youtube and nervously waited. I cried when she told me how proud of me she was. We’re even closer now and I’m happy that this hasn’t ruined our friendship.

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boo.
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#37

Once I told my BFF who my crush is, So she locked herself in the bathroom with my phone texting my crush, so i started banging on the door and my mom was in the living room so I yelled saying " MY FRIEND IS TEXTING TRISTELL THAT I LIKE HER" and my mom said nothing , and my crush was like, ;-;

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Kaede_Akamatsu_Cosplayヾ(•ω•`)o
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#38

I was walking with my mom and said “I’m bi, apparently” She just said ok.

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Pansexual Panda Pug (She/they)
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#39

I came out to my sister first. She already knew, because I had been dropping hints in the weeks before. I came out to my dad the next day, and my mom the day after that. They were a little confused, and had a lot of questions, but they've been supportive. Learning to use non-binary pronouns was a learning curve for all of us, but life is a lot better for me.
In terms of how I came out, I just told them at breakfast so I could let them process while I was out of the house.
Other ideas I considered include: writing a letter, writing an email, making rainbow baked goods, and just dropping more and more hints until they figured it out.

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chaotic_hurricane
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Blinding_Darkness
Blinding_Darkness
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah I was thinking, when I tell my parents (eventually), I'll slowly drop hints, like idk, maybe changing the background on my phone, make my art LGBTQ+ themed, little stuff like that. If u have any other ideas plz let me know in the comments here plz. Thx ☺️ xoxox

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#40

I have two, actually, because I came out as bi before I knew I was a lesbian.

The first time was weird. I was into Panic at the Disco! at the time, so I played their song "Girls like Girls and Boys" out loud in the living room. The thing is, my mom didn't even listen to the lyrics! So I had to sit her down on the couch and tell her. But I messed up again - I told her the name of the song and tried to tell her I was bi, but since I was so nervous I said, "I'm the B" (in LGBT) but she thought I meant I was a trans boy. Eventually, she realized what I was trying to say, and was supportive, though she did insinuate something about not being "too gay" or something when I showed her that I was wearing three hair bands with the bi colours. I don't really remember what she said, I think I blocked it out of my memory.

Anyway, the second time, I had just gotten my parents hooked on the show One Day at a Time. The character Elena said in one episode that she thought she might like boys, but "felt more looking at a picture of Kristen Stewart then kissing [her current boyfriend]". I had watched the show before them, so I knew it was coming up. I had them watch it, then before bed I went to my mom's room and told her I felt the same way and that I knew I only liked girls. She asked if I was sure, but still supported me.

Good luck on your coming out, by the way! Now I'm questioning my gender, so I don't know if I'll have to do this again... but it went well when I did it before, and now I'm much more confident and comfortable being myself.

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Eventually
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#41

I'm autosexual/ autoromantic, gray ace, and working out how I romantically feel about other people (panromantic???? bi? homo? hetero? the world may never know!!!). I haven't told my parents yet and I honestly don't ever plan to because they are v religious and though they would always love me and wouldn't kick me out of the house or anything, they would see it as them failing me, and I would be a reminder of that failure to them. It would forever change how they see me and it would probably cause tension in the family. Our relationship would take a hit and probably never fully recover. My parents are wonderful about almost everything except this and I love them, so I wouldn't do that to them. I am out to four of my close lgbtqia+ friends though. I came out to them over text because I wanted to be able to type things out exactly the way I wanted to and have it be less awkward. They've been super supporting and I'm so blessed to have friends like them. :))

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dreamtaway
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Luna Lovegood (Submission author)
Luna Lovegood
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

FUTURE UPDATE: I had it a little wrong... I'm asexual/panromantic haha. Still closeted tho, and my parents would definitely send me to some "pray the gay away" camp if they found out : )

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#42

alright, last year in about august i came out to my mom as bi. she just said she was bi too and that was that (she’s not bi, she’s just a gaslighter and quite abusive at times). i don’t think i ever told my dad, though. anyway, in october of the same year i decided to come out as trans. i was terrified. the way mom reacted was telling me it’s a phase and proceeding to ignore me. my dad went absolutely mental,just yelling at me, asking my why i chose this, do i have any idea how weird it is, etc. it did not exactly go great. in february i came out to my friends at school, and the teachers i knew better (well, a toxic kid told one of them so i didn’t have much choice). my parents started using my new name and he/him pronouns in june or july of this year. i’m no longer in contact with those friends, except one kid, who took my coming out well and always supported me. i moved to europe in august, and i’m currently scared of coming out to people here, because we live in a tiny country that it extremely conservative and will probably expel me from school and refuse to give me healthcare :)

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alex but festive
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#43

I drew a picture. Sent it to friends. Boom. I now have no friends.

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RatBerries
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Billy The Kid
Billy The Kid
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's sad : ( They cant be that much of friends if they are not supportive. Stick with the gay community where you will be accepted and feel welcomed. hope it works out for you.

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#44

I made an account to answer this but here we go. I first came out to my sister, brother, and dad in a park, we were all sitting and talking about a video game (stardew valley great game btw), and in that game, I was married to a girl (I'm a girl) and my dad asked me if I was gay, and I said I was bi and that was that. They accepted me, my family is very liberal, but my mom still doesn't know, but I know she will accept me. my sister came out as aro/ace to me a couple of days later but that's a story for a different day. anyway, I'm having an identity crisis I think I might be demi-romantic, but I haven't said anything about that to anyone. I don't get crushes and celebrity crushes, cause you don't know them and stuff. I've only ever felt romantic attraction to people I knew well. any other demi-aros here? thanks for reading I know this is long sorry!

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Elise K
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alex but festive
alex but festive
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

demi-romantic clubbbbb (i think i am? maybe grayromantic? but yeah!)

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#45

I made rainbow cupcakes with the words I´M GAY on them and my parents laughed. Not at me, but with me because of the cupcakes. They already suspected, but the cupcakes were unexpected, so it drew a laugh. They tasted great too.

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Julia King
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#46

One day me and my friend were watching something with a bi character in it, and she asked me if I thought it was weird. I said no, repeat that process a few times, and then she says, "Well... I'm bisexual." And then I said, "I'm lesbian!" And we live happily ever after.

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Wolfowl
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#47

Well, I came out first as pansexual on BP. Then I came out to my family.

I made them dinner, advice from a fellow Panda, and...

They called LGBTQ+ trash. Rubbish. Made me decide between saying it was a lie or leaving the family. I lied. But I'm still pansexual.

In case you're wondering, someone who is pansexual can have romantic love for boys, girls, gender-fluid people, non-binary people, and all genders.

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Ahsoka Tano
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Just_A_Pansexual_Gal (Submission author)
Just_A_Pansexual_Gal
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think I'm going to tell them it wasn't a lie sometime this month. If they don't accept me, a friend and her family are going to take me in.

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#48

So me and my mom were talking and she sed husband or wife I bursted out laughing after we stopped laughing she was like well I don’t now what your into and after words I was like true you don’t now what I’m into I think she knows but I kinda hope she doesn’t she’s a loving mom tho I don’t think she would do me wrong

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~*ZeroxYuki*~(*-*)
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Billy The Kid
Billy The Kid
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she is a loving mum then just tell her. Im sure she will understand. Good luck

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#49

I made a plain cake with rainbow layers inside and then hid while my family cut it. Luckily my sis found me, gave me a massive slice of cake, and told me that they would accept me no matter what :)

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Too_gay_to_function_
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#50

aye yes, the ol coming-out story. so, I had known I was bi for, ah probably 4 or 5 months. I didn't know what my parents would think so I'm was scared and thinking of whose house I could stay at (anxiety bouncing off le walls). my little bro and I went to go color chalk so I just made a snap decision and drew a bi flag and put IM BI! under it. I sat there thinking "omg what did I do what is going to happen oh ononnonnonono" well 2 hours later I said in that little squeaky voice, "hEy DAd cOmE tO sEe wHaT I DrEw oUtSiDE" he walked out and looked turned around and said, "what does dat mean," I said I'm bisexual and It was all fine and now I might have to come out again as genderfluidddddd wish me luck on that

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ramenoodle says "WEAR A MASK!"
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#51

I was talking to my mom and I told her about a crush that I had and then I just nonchalantly said that it was a girl. I know she hear me but hasn't brought it up since.

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Syra ‍‍
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#52

Not mine but two of my friends. We were in middle school when they started dating and they asked my friend group if we accepted them. Of course, we said yes! So over the course of their relationship, all of us would point out all the girls that we thought were cute.

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MERCI LANGSTON
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#53

I told my nana that I am a lesbian and she just said "Thats fine but you didnt answer if you wanted more potatoes." I love her

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FurryPotatoCat
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#54

Hello Everyone, My coming out story is not that good but please don't scroll past or dislike anybody because they have a different sex liking that you do!
I was giving my parents clues for the last week and they didn't notice this 1st time I thought I was gay but I am actually bisex So back to the story I was always drawing rainbows in the backgrounds of my animes I haven't told my friends yet so good luck to be :) ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💜💙💚💛🧡❤️

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Alexandra Mosher
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#55

So when I told my friends I was a non-binary lesbian. They told me they already knew. I thought I was good at hiding it.

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Aj Grimes (he/him)
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Forty-Two
Forty-Two
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Question: How can you be both non-binary and lesbian?

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#56

I’m Bi, if I were straight, I would die...


Oh! Uh, hey haha. I wrote my parents a note and they were like “We love you” and I cried.


Dammit, my eyes are raining again.

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Yakisoba
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#57

I came out to my sister accidentally, we were talking about school and stuff and I was talking about one of my old crushes I had on this girl, she had already known about the crush but I had always referred to said crush as “he” because I want ready to come out yet (I’m pansexual), this time though, I wasn’t thinking and I said “yeah I really liked her, she was really nice to bad she moved away” after I said that I realized what I had done, I whipped my head over to see her reaction and I remember we just stared at each other for like a minute and than she proceeded to start crying. Turns out my sister is aromatic and she ended up telling me while she was crying while also saying she will always love and care for me no matter whatI still haven’t told my parents because they are homophobic so I don’t think I’ll be telling them any time soon even if I do they will just tell me it’s a sin and scream at me for hours so I think I’ll tell the, when I move out. I’m really lucky my sister was so supporting and accepting and I’m really grateful to have such a great sister like her.💜

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A random person :)
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