Hey Pandas, What Is Your Biggest Pet Peeve As An Lgbtq+ Member? (Closed)

#1

People calling things gay as a joke or insult.

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88points

Viola Yarrow

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Jaycen Grey 2 years ago

This drives me crazy. A lot of people in school think it's funny to pretend you're gay...

30points

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Marinasongs1432 2 years ago (edited)

Ikr? The popular kids all have girlfriends, and yet they are holding hands, spanking other’s asses, giving each other back rubs, sitting their names in a sexual manner, etc. I wish people would stop pretending to be gay, as there are plenty others that truly are gay. When people do that, it sickens me, as They are stereotyping an amazing community.

6points

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Susan Abbott 2 years ago

yeah. back at school many people would randomly scream, "IM GAY!" and everyone would clap and laugh. i hated it.

2points

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Panda poster 2 years ago

This drives me insane as well, kids use “if you’d do that your gay.” This drives me absolutely bonkers as it is not an insult.

0points

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Demongrrrrl 2 years ago

I heard this a lot when I was a kid in the '70s.

3points

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Jon S. 2 years ago

Yeah, up to the late 90s, or early 00s "That's gay," was the NORMAL way of saying "that's bad" in my corner of the world.

1point

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RADUGA.babochka 2 years ago

Me and my sister joke to each other and sometimes say "that's gay~" but we are gay (other) so we understand but we don't say it in public or anywhere so eh? It's just an us thing so we don't bring it with us when we go somewhere.

2points

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gila the night/sand 2 years ago

someone: ur gay lmao me: actually, im bi. what’s wrong with that? someone: …………

2points

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Kate Jones 2 years ago

As a woman I can relate to this. People say 'pussy' when referring to someone as weak or fragile in some way. Ugh it drives me so crazy. My vagina is the strongest part of my body. Using it as a term of weakness doesn't even make sense. But it does if they're simply trying to call you a woman- because a being called a woman is the worst insult and worst thing you can be. I despise when people use gay as an insult, too.

1point

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Hollyn 2 years ago

This drives me crazy. I’m straight but STILL! It is not funny it’s a life choice.

1point

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Disgruntled Panda 2 years ago

Sorry to point out, it's not a choice

3points

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Dad 2 years ago

I've got the same reaction when someone laughingly says their ADHD is acting up because they forgot something, b***h please.

1point

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Viola Yarrow (Submission author) 2 years ago

I am also ADHD.

1point

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️‍MushroomAce️‍ 2 years ago

Im in high school omg this drives me up the wall, onto the roof and back into my closet :)

0points

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️‍MushroomAce️‍ 2 years ago

I've been refusing to even get up lately :) my dad who is rude said i must be depressed :)

0points

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Panda poster 2 years ago

This drives me insane as well, kids use “if you’d do that your gay.” This drives me absolutely bonkers as it is not an insult

0points

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moonlit muffins 2 years ago

my ex bf amd his friends would always do this and i find it plain rude like "oh you gay" kind of thing

0points

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#2

The "I hope you're not attracted to me" move and then getting offended when I say they arent my type.
Bonus: companies during pride only selling rainbow stuff. I'm an emo, I don't wear color unless it's my pride pin. Just because we're queer doesn't mean we dress like jojo siwa

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73points

Shadow_ Leaf

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Buggycas 2 years ago

... I feel called out. (Literally been wearing rainbow JoJo Siwa bows all month)

35points

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#3

Panromantic Asexual here, and I have just one word I get a LOT of: Erasure.
As an asexual you get a lot of "how do you KNOW you hate sex if you've never had it?" Back up there, I don't hate sex, I hate kissing, sex I can take or leave. I have no sex DRIVE. Hard to get into sex if you're not interested.
As a Panromantic I get, "Are you REALLY? you're not even dating." I'm sorry if my asexual tendencies prioritize friendship over relationship, but I know I'm aesthetically attracted to almost every body type and absolutely every gender or lack thereof, so back off.

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Final score:

56points

Buggycas

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Pandaroo 2 years ago

How do you know you don't want to climb Mt Everest unless you've done it? It's just like saying that. If you're not interested in doing something, you're not interested and that should be the end of the conversation, whether you're not interested in having sex, kids, going to uni, living in the city, learning to knit...whatever it is.

38points

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#4

Christian nationalists who literally want to exterminate us.

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56points

EJ

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Tamra 2 years ago

Yeah, no one likes Christian nationalists. Crazy nutjobs, the lot of them.

11points

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#5

People in school think it's cool to use 'it/that' as my pronouns, since I'm non-binary.
I also can't show any form of affection for my girlfriend in public without being stared at like I'm some sort of alien...

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Final score:

44points

Jaycen Grey

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Susan Hammons 2 years ago

I'm so sad to hear that your classmates use those pronouns to hurt you. There's no excuse for such cruelty. Wish I could give you a big ((hug)).

36points

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#6

oh boiii there r too many to count but: when ppl say that ppl who are "straight" passing relationships don't belong in the community. bisexuals and pans, omni and poly people have every right to be part of the community.

but also what about straight nonbinary people? or straight transgender couples? or demis?? or aces?? they also have every right to be a part of the lgbtq+ community. this needs to stop being separated like cliques cuz it's not abt putting people in boxes.

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Final score:

44points

sophiie<3

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Sabrina Bowen 2 years ago

This was my first thought. I'm pan in a "straight" relationship. So I get a lot of assumptions about my sexuality and lots of nasty comments about my "gay phase" from ignorant family.

21points

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#7

When people say I don't look like I'm bisexual or gender fluid

However I love when people genuinely want to know more and I'll do my absolute best to answer their questions.

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Final score:

43points

Jacin Larkwell

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Jo 2 years ago

YESSSSSSSSS SASS I love it when people ask what stuff means

12points

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#8

You're Gay? Cool, so is my cousin twice removed. Do you know them?

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39points

Michelle Gosney

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Anna Gabrielle Borbolla-Menare 2 years ago

ahh yes, the secret mind network of the gays

46points

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#9

just some phrases that we’re all tired of hearing

“i identify as an attack helicopter”
“you’re not a guy/girl if you don’t have a [body part]”
“you can’t just change your gender like that”
“oH So yOu’Re aTtRaCtEd tO PaNs”
“That’s fine, i’m attracted to trans people”
“it’s just a phase, you’ll grow out of it”
and deadnaming and misgendering in general

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Final score:

38points

Calvin Suzuki

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SoloDadof3 2 years ago

Phrases I get tired of is when insults go flying just because I don't align with another's thought process (not their type). I am poly, have one daughter that is bi, another daughter that is pan. But I get called (whatever)phobic even though I am not and fully support others choices, even if they are not MY choices. --- Just because someone does not agree with you in a certain way does not instantly make them (whatever)phobic! --- I wish others would really look up the definition of things before using them as a label!

6points

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#10

Hi All, Heterosexual male here. I love and support all my friends in the LGBTQ+ community. That being said, I have a simple request: Please correct me if I use incorrect pronouns. I will always try to identify you as you are. Please know that I love you and respect you. I will support you and fight for you. Happy Pride!

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37points

Nick R.

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MK 2 years ago

This this is the one we must protect

11points

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#11

when cant comprehend the fact that lesbians DO NOT like men. even though its part of the definition (non-men who like non-men) ((key word: NON men))

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34points

lucy dale

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Autumn Artemis 2 years ago

Yes!! Like- we can sure as heII appreciate when a human looks fine, but we aren’t attracted to them.

15points

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#12

Gay men acting as gatekeepers for our community.

Gay men of a certain age went through a hell I can't even conceive of, but they can be more phobic of others on the sexuality or romance spectrum than religious extremists.

I've witnessed gay men verbally abuse trans people, dismiss bi people and makes jokes at the expense of lesbians in both personal and professional settings. But if they caught a whiff of a dig at what they thought was their direction, I have seen a fury like no other.

Obviously this attitude is due to the trauma they experienced, but there is no excuse for passing that on to the baby queers.

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Final score:

32points

Stacey Smith

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Amy Taylor 2 years ago

As someone in their 50's now, I totally know what you're talking about. Some of the gay men I grew up with are really not nice to the community :(

22points

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#13

People asking "aren't you asexual?" every time I call someone pretty or attractive.

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31points

MiaOokami

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Buggycas 2 years ago

Asexual doesn't mean aromantic! And aesthetic attraction and sexual attraction are too completely different things.

28points

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#14

Stereotypes. From both outside & inside the community. We are all individuals and I wish people would respect that and get to know us for who we are.

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29points

Nimues Child

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Shadow_ Leaf 2 years ago

"Gays are bad at math" stereotype always annoyed me as a queer who got an award in math class

21points

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#15

I'm a lesbian and my wife and I have a daughter. If you want to see my blood boil just ask who is the "real mom".
We are both her real moms!

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27points

Vics

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Sarah Monk 2 years ago

I had a child 10 years old female in my class that I assisted in and she was so happy with her two mums because it was double love and noshouting rude words unless really really necessary, good luck both of you.

9points

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#16

I’m omnisexual, but I’ve always dated men only. People like to claim I’m not truly a part of the lgbtq community because of it and it annoys the hell out of me

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26points

Brittany

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Arctic 2 years ago (edited)

Im Omni and only dated girls/non-binary people, Absolutly no guys, and currently dating my s/o, which made me a target for teasing and questions. Edit from like a year later: me and the girly broke up, finally dating a guy for once, actually going good!

14points

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#17

When people say something homophobic and don't know me and I'm pansexual and am dating someone who's non binary... As getting called a f***t

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25points

That midget Jo :)

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Tamra 2 years ago

Sadly, there are still idiots in the world who are homophobic. But just remember, THEY are the ones with a problem. Not you.

12points

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#18

When people say that Asexual is not a real sexuality.

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25points

Echo_of_the_River

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Eburi - chan 2 years ago

omg i hate this my mom does it all the time she is a supposed 'ally'

14points

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#19

Being told by my own mum that I'm only trans cuz it's FaShIoNaBlE, and that I'm not transmasc, I'm a trans PERSON. Being told this by a cis person HURTS

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22points

Dark Pearl

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Buggycas 2 years ago

*hugs* I'm sorry your mom is a TERF (or, as I like to call them, FART)

19points

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#20

"I'm not homophobic! I will love and accept gay people but I don't support their lifestyle!"

Honey, you're homophobic. If you don't support queer people, you're homophobic. If you think that homosexuality is a sin, you're homophobic. It doesn't matter how much you love the individual queer person, if you don't say you support LGBTQ, you're homophobic (and no, it doesn't mean you're afraid).

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22points

basil (as in razzle dazzle)

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Amy Taylor 2 years ago

UGHHHH I have one of these cousins. When Prop HATE 8 was happening in CA she and her husband were all for it. I had to block them because they were spouting c**p like that.

7points

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#21

When people know that I am nonbinary and say that they are okay with it, but then use she/her pronouns.

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19points

Anonymousplease

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Jo 2 years ago

If I know someone's pronouns are different from when I met them I'm usually horrible at pronouns. So sorry to everyone I've done that too

17points

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#22

they're just like: oh no, you have a crush on me! one of my friends legit ran away shielding her face insisting I liked her... 🤣🤣🤣 like girl i got standards lol
btw im bisexual(or possibly pan but bi for now ) - I like both boys and girls

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18points

Sara

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Amy Taylor 2 years ago

One of my friends came out to me as a lesbian like this: "I have something to tell you...I'm not sure how you're going to feel about it, or if you're going to want to hang out with me or be my friend anymore" Me: Oh my god!!! What??" Her: I'm gay. Me: And you murdered someone?" her: "No!!, lol!" I was stunned that she thought I wouldn't be her friend anymore!! I adore her!!

14points

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#23

Now that I (agender, sexed female at birth) married a member of the opposite biological sex I am somehow no longer “really” bisexual/queer. Alrighty then… guess I just imagined enjoying boobs and cunnilingus lol

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17points

Brocken Blue

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Marinasongs1432 2 years ago

Ikr? I found out I was bi once a girl seemed really f-ing hot. I still have feelings for her.

5points

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#24

I hate it when people say to pans "Oh do that means your attracted to pans?"

And when they treat us differently!! That really annoys me, but hey, the next time someone says a homophobic comment to you ("Theres only 2 genders/sexualitys" or "its a sin") just say "Really! Wow, thank you for giving me more evidence that I AM a alien!!"

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15points

Pierce [He / Him]

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PixelShroom 2 years ago

I'm Asexual, and i get a lot of hate from homophobics that don't know what it means. But when i tell them. They shut up. It's funny to see their faces turn the colours of my favourite flag.

14points

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#25

Heteronormativity. Like if I say I'm seeing someone, they'll ask 'whats his name' etc

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14points

Rhea

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Rhea (Submission author) 2 years ago

Bored panda won't let me add more than a sentence to my submissions but I'm gay and so many people just assume I'm straight. Like, don't be afraid to just ask me or use gender neutral pronouns if you want to ask about my love life. Not just older populations either

17points

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#26

When my so-called "friends" tell me that they love me even more when I say to them that I am bi. Just treat me normal.

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13points

Nightbright

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Stacey Smith 2 years ago

"You love me even more? Prove it, give me £100"

18points

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#27

I'm bi. "When are you going to go full lesbian?" THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. I hear it so much and it drives me insane. I'm not going "full lesbian" EVER. I'M BI. It's really invalidating. My label is my label and I'm fed up of it being treated like it's a phase or a step to becoming a lesbian

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12points

Rowan [He/They]

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Markus It/Its (Submission author) 2 years ago

Oh, and another bit on behalf of my brother: people saying he can't really be a gay man if he can be attracted to trans men. Trans men are men. He's a man attracted to men. He can be attracted to trans men. Because they're men. How does that not make him gay? It annoys him, and it annoys me too

12points

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#28

People teasing me that some hot guy at my school wants to go on a date with me. It drives me so insane!

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11points

CookieCrump

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️‍MushroomAce️‍ 2 years ago

even worse if ur AroAce. my parents once told me a guy i wa getting along with and i should get married. i was in grade 5.

1point

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#29

People dismissing my identity as “confused”

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11points

Beth Bartel

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Zedrapazia 2 years ago

Oh, sure, I now identify as confused terror of the beyond!

8points

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#30

When you come out to a family member and they say “Maybe it’s just a phase? You’re only *insert age*” hasn’t happened yet but I feel like my mom might say that. I also added this because it’s still a pet peeve to me just from hearing that people say that… sorry to everyone who heard those words!

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10points

Mysteria

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Amy Taylor 2 years ago

My daughter came out to me at 13 and I told her that I really respect that she knows who she is at such a young age :)

11points

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#31

When I go somewhere with my friend, who is carrying for example LGBTQ+ bag or pin, they are always like "oh, so you are girlfriends, how cute!" First thing, my friend is non-binary, so I think that it can't be "girlfriend"; second thing - we don't have to be in relationship just because we're both part of LGBTQ+ community. I'm be, now I've got a boyfriend, so, as someone intelligent said, f*ck off

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10points

Ula Wojciechowska

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Markus It/Its 2 years ago

Ah yes, the reverse Sappho and her friend. I'd say your scenario isn't as common but I'm sure no less frustrating

3points

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#32

I'll add a slightly different one. At BBQ/party with husband. He was the only male at mostly gay ladies do. He volunteered to cook. One lady said eww, boy germs, not going to eat if that cooks!
OK you don't like men that way, but really? Not doing any good with comments like that

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10points

H M

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the_harbringer_of_doom 1 year ago

wtf thats awful

1point

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#33

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH PEOPLESSSSSS! Please be kind to others and have fun! (P.S if you have any funny lgbtq memes, feel free to post them here)

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9points

PeachyPenguin

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Jo 2 years ago

I have a funny meme Me

11points

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#34

Hi first post

I am female and people use she/her pronouns because of that
When i tell them I use they/them pronouns they ask what gender I am

It just annoys me

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8points

Autistic apricot

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Hope Cows&Chickens 2 years ago

I don't get it. She said, "I am a female" so why don't they use she/her pronouns? I thought 'they/them' was pronouns used for someone non-binary. I don't understand why they are saying that.

4points

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#35

When i wear the rainbow flag and people think I'm Lesbian or trans. Like, no. I'm Asexual.

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8points

Echo_of_the_River

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Leina 2 years ago

I tell people “Im technically not straight” and all they’re minds can think of is GAY. I tell them no, Im not, and they think for a solid 3-4 mins before saying “Bi?” No hunny, sorry that’s all your two braincells can come up with

3points

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#36

Aro/ace here! What really annoys me is when people misgender my non-binary/trans friends, or wh

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8points

Aerial (Any pronouns/Canadian/Jewish)

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RainWingRoyal (Submission author) 2 years ago

Or when someone tells me my sexuality isn't real/I just don't know who I'm attracted to yet. I do know! It's nobody.

13points

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#37

This just happened the other day and it really bothered me. I was going for my check up at the doctors when suddenly my doctor pointed at me and said in a really stern, sure, and serious voice “One day you ARE going to have sex, when that happens use protection.” And like, I know they were just trying to make sure I practice safe sex, but as an asexual person it just made me want to scream out no. I know most people do in fact have sex, but just changing it to an “if” would have been so much better. I have no intention of ever having sex, it just isn't for me. But knowing people just expect me to 100% be involved in it just bothers me.
I know it's not that big of a deal, and they didn't mean any harm by it, but it still really frustrated me.

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8points

Bored Panda Lurking Omni

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PeachyPenguin 2 years ago

dang. thats sad that they did that! happy pride tho love your username :)

7points

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#38

my parents are both suuuuuuper homophobic, but im a closeted bi. anytime we watch something "gay" happen on tv my mom goes '"ew". and once i told my dad to get some neon orange socks and he went "no im not gay". no one asked but oookay.

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7points

nessa_kozume

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Sofie Carmine 2 years ago

I feel you. My family is like that

5points

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#39

I’m lesbian and people assume that I like every girl ever. Like, that’s not how it works 🙄

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7points

Ms. Human Being

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Autistic apricot 2 years ago

Or in the changing rooms there like “eww a gay girl is in here she’s going to stare at us” That haven’t happened to me btw I’m closeted but it has to my friend

3points

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#40

When people say I should be proud of it. I’m bi, and I hate that people tell me to be proud of it. I grew up in a home where I was told that what I now am is wrong. I’m so afraid, I’ve never even told my parents, and I never will.

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7points

Marinasongs1432

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Sofie Carmine 2 years ago

I wish the best for you

3points

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#41

That only because i look feminine they assume my pronouns is still the same while they do ask my friends pronouns😩not really their fault. but anyway happy pridemonth!

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6points

Lila Koers

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PeachyPenguin 2 years ago

man thats messed up! happy pride tho

4points

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#42

LGBTQ+ people telling Ace people they aren't part of the community. Like tf you mean aces aren't repressed or judged or treated like we're broken? Like you're telling me that not only do aces have to listen to acephobic strangers saying we're broken and confused and all this other c**p, but then on top of it we have to be invalidated by the very community that PROTESTS invalidation?? Now obviously I know not everyone is like this. And there are FAR more good LGBTQ+ out there. But the ones that will stand there and look you dead in the eyes and tell you "you're not a part of this community." And "You don't even understand what it's like. You have no right to call yourself oppressed." And "Its not even really a sexuality so it doesn't count." Those are the ones that immediately come to mind when I think of pride. It's the reason I don't go to the parades or interact almost anything except r/asexuality. Because no one on there is gonna tell me I "don't belong"

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6points

Hannah

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️‍MushroomAce️‍ 2 years ago

I feel the same way. I'm sorry you had to deal with this. Hoping you're well, from one (Aro)Ace person to another. :))))

1point

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#43

Ace virgin. "Oh, you'll like sex. You just want to be special. You HAD a boyfriend. Don't tell me you never had did it with him." Nope, nope, and nope.

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5points

foofoofloofy

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moonlit muffins 2 years ago

when i was twelve, had a bf (13) and he really wanted to get me in a bed for some reason. i was just like slow the hell down im ONLY 12!!!

8points

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#44

Being introduced as the “queer friend”. Every friggin time. Not to mention the fact that I’m not out to everyone (for very important reasons…). Thanks for broadcasting that to the whole world, along with with bringing me along as your token gay.

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5points

Autumn Artemis

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Marinasongs1432 2 years ago

I love being the token gay /hj

3points

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#45

When the once-homophobic-now-ally people in your life act like if all the sh*tty things they've said or done in the past never happened because they are cool now.

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5points

43 S

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Sofie Carmine 2 years ago

I hate that

3points

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#46

Polyamorous here "Isn't that just cheating though?" no my friend I'm in love with them both equally and they both are okay with the fact I'm dating another person.

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5points

BAILEY PANELLI

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Sofie Carmine 2 years ago

You know i think i might be polyamorous

5points

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#47

Either people going out of the way to tell people that you're LGBTQ+ for no reason, or the classic "he uses she/her pronouns," and vice versa (also used with they/them)

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5points

The Witch Doctor

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#48

I am not a member I just don’t discriminate or really care if people are a member. I treat everyone the same. People assume because I am nice to all that I must be gay I get asked it a lot. Why does it matter what my sexuality is? I find lots of people attractive of all genders just because I don’t act on it (my preference of who I am an intimate with) shouldn’t mean anything . ( if you saw me I am the bearded older Florida retired guy who doesn’t give a damn what people think)

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4points

Dan Faires

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Congealed Ketchup 2 years ago

I read inmate instead of intimate and was confused :)

9points

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#49

It really buga me when people assume any relationships must be sexual or romantic in nature, not even taking into consideration the possibility that there are other labels for relationships. I am a closeted aroace but that doesn't mean that I can't have an s/o, and though I am currently in the closest I have no doubt at all that people will assume those kinds of things just because its the norm which yeah bugs me.

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4points

Chiguira

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Chiguira (Submission author) 2 years ago

For clarification, I meant they would assume those kinds of fhings when I come out so It bothers me when I realize people assume those things about others

5points

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#50

Middle age aromatic asexual here. Certain family members keep "reassuring" me that I'll meet someone someday that's just right for me.

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Brandi Delph

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Bored Panda Lurking Omni 2 years ago

That must just be awful. I'm still pretty young so it's still in that phase where their happy they don't have to worry about me getting up to anything, but I have a feeling I’ll have to have some stern talks with my mom about grandchildren in the future. I hope they eventually stop and let you live your life in peace!

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#51

People assuming that asexual people can't have long term happy fulfilling relationships or that our partner is doing something wrong. Not everyone basis their relationship around sex. I would argue that we have a better relationship than most straight couples. We really put effort into making sure daily that we show each other love. When sex isn't on the table most people have no idea how to create intimacy. Happily together 12 years.

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Kassie Barnes

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#52

The fact that everyone thinks they have the right to know if your gay of no or anything! You don't owe it to anyone.

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Alexandra

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Weed in the Garden 2 years ago (edited)

Yes! This! It's no one's business unless they are invired to make it their business. These are questions and conversations NO ONE has the right to ask or start. This is intimately personal AND if someone does share with you, you do not have the right to share it with anyone else without the express permission to do so.

2points

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#53

The fact that there are people who make me legitimately scared to show any sort of affection to my gf in public. ( bi she/her here)

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gila the night/sand

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#54

When a straight man breaks up with his girlfriend and says, "I think I'm going to go gay now." It's not a choice, like "I'm switching from coffee to tea" or "I'm trying a new hair style".

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James burghardt

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️‍MushroomAce️‍ 2 years ago

Just covering up a horrible comment by the Well-known LGBTQ+ homophobe... drumroll please... @S B! Thanks a lot for making people feel like we belong, @S B! (INTENSE SARCASM)

3points

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#55

My pet peeve?.......🤔

Homophobes!

Simple.

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Alexandra

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Emma Jackelen 2 years ago

Same

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#56

People caring about my sexuality for absolutely no reason. “Oh, are you gay?” As a response to literally anything. Once was ‘accused’ of being gay for choosing a pink popsicle.

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Chloe (she/her)

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Sofie Carmine 2 years ago

Pink is a yummy flavor

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#57

It's going to sound weird, but it's pride. I am happy most of us see pride month as a celebration, I am 100% behind the idea of pride month. But it's not me. I deal with depression and anxiety that went undiagnosed for decades. I am not proud of who I am and I never have been. Maybe you can thank the bible, because I grew up thinking pride was a sin, but I honestly am mostly ashamed of who I am, how I am. June is a very difficult month for me mentally, because as much as I want to stand up and shout it with everyone else in the parade, I can't. It's not who I am and I don't know if I can ever be that person.

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Zack Podany

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Koterre 2 years ago

It's OK if you're not that person. You don't ever have to be. If you're LGBT+ (not sure from the text), then internal acceptance of yourself is fine. You're not the only one who feels they need to stay on the sidelines. It's OK. Also, I hope you're getting the help you need for your anxiety/depression. You are not alone!!

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#58

Another one: When people say "Oh just say your Bi" or "Oh just say your non-Binary"

Story time
On a social emdia I had, I told this person that idk if I was bi or pan, and he just said "Oh just say your Bi"

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Pierce [He / Him]

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#59

when people don't know what I mean when I tell them i'm pan, so I say i'm bi then I have to say i'm lesbian before giving up.

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Eburi - chan

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Autistic apricot 2 years ago

Yep that’s it :(

3points

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#60

Me saying I’m bi and them going: „no no honey you’re just confused/you just want attention“

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elysse

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#61

This has probably been said already but...

People not liking me or being awkward around me when I come out to them

Like b***h stop I'm not attracted to you

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MelodyHope666

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Marinasongs1432 2 years ago

exactly!

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#62

The notion that as a bi person in a straight passing relationship I must "prove" my sexuality.

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Sarah Spencer

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#63

As an asexual I get so many people telling me it’s because I haven’t met the right person yet or it’s actually just trauma related and could be cured by therapy. No, I genuinely have no interest in having people touch me or wanting to touch anyone intimately myself. I do find people attractive and I have affectionate feelings for some men and women but don’t ever think about wanting to have sex or kiss anyone. I’m attracted to the idea of emotional bonds and friendship.
It’s surprising how many people - including those in the LGBTQ+ community who just really don’t seem to grasp the idea that I just don’t think about sex. I’d love to fall in love and get married to someone of either gender but that just doesn’t involve physical contact. Emotional intimacy alone doesn’t seem to exist which is a real bummer since that’s 100% what I’m into

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Megzymonsta

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Haily Jynne 2 years ago

You might be interested in queer platonic relationships! They are amazing!

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#64

Please accept my apologies if I offend but sometimes I don’t know because I’m a 68 year old straight woman who has a lesbian mother and aunt, but occasionally I wouldn’t know how to address someone correctly, I have no problem or issues with however someone wants to identify or be I just am sometimes curious but don’t want to be intrusive or offend.

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Sarah Monk

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#65

“It’s just a phase”

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Liv

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Autistic apricot 2 years ago

Grr I hate things like that with every fibre of my being

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#66

The amount of labelling there is in the community. I don't know what to label myself as because there is to many and sometimes the words don't make sense to me.

When some says "(insert ridiculous name) is for people who like people with (insert something/green eyes)" some don't even sound like they have to do with sexuality/gender etc.??? They just sound like kinks to me, it just seems weird tbh.

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RADUGA.babochka

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#67

When people say that it's because of who's around me. If being around a few LGBTQ+ people "turned me LGBTQ+" within 2-3 years, then why wouldn't being raised by people that are outside of the community "fix" it? (I'm not going to say what I identify as or who I like due to my trust issues. This is nothing against any of you, just a few people...)

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I'm.Not.Normal

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#68

When people think ‘a man and a woman’ is normal, and that other relationships that differ from this are not.

I haven’t met a lot of homophobic people before, but I do know a few people that don’t hate the LGBTQ+ community , though they think ‘straight’ is the norm. It’s understandable that for some their mindset is in this way, but still it’s kind of annoying when you try to explain that ‘straight’ is not the norm, and that there is no ‘normal’ when it comes to sexualities and genders as everyone should be valid.

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Bookworm Axel

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#69

The word "lifestyle" to describe something you have no control over. I did not choose to be gay. (Maybe I misunderstand something here due to language differences but this makes me mad.)

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Ansgar

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#70

Queer (cassgender, bi) parent of queer childen/young adults. Soooo much LGBTQ representation is sexualized. Definitely not sex shaming but seeing ones disappointment in never being represented aro/ace and all the shows end up in sexual relationships, I get frustrated. Finding good shows/media/stories with messages not related to sexuality or romance is near impossible in the LGBTQ community. I want my trans child to have media that represents them but doesnt make them think they should be looking for a relationship or thats its going to be the focus of them being trans!

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Cass K

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Marinasongs1432 2 years ago

What is cassgender?

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#71

when my exfriend who call everything gay and then sexualizes that “gay thing” then learn im nonbinary and then say idc im still gonna call you a girl. Even though i get missgendered a lot it doesn’t bother me but like he k owns and wont. Plus a lot of his friends that are girl or part of the lgbtqia+ and if they are laying with a girl he will make it wierd

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Sushi

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#72

When in a definition of pansexuality, it says something like 'attracted to all genders, including male, female, non-binary, and trans people.' No. Trans men are men and trans women are women, they shouldn't be listed separately from men and women! I'm sure even if I was only attracted to men or women, trans people of that gender would still be part of that attraction! I've seen this on so many websites and it bugs me every time.

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ThePanInPanda

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Jon S. 2 years ago

Some people who don't identify as men or women call themselves trans (when others would use non-binary) as their identity differs from what would be expected from their birth sex. Therefore it is legitimate to include trans people in a list. The terminology is new, ever evolving and probably not worth splitting hairs over.

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#73

People (my family mainly) being homophobic and brushing it off. My nan, who has been better than most people since I came out said that people celebrating pride should have acid poured on them. I didn't think she thought like that but apparently she hates people who 'need to be praised for being gay'. I was going to go to my first pride next week but I just don't want to any more.

Another thing is my friend(who I love and appreciate) somehow not realising that my parents hate that I'm gay. She is as well so you'd think she'd realise that not everyone can own a pride outfit, not everyone's parents want to go to pride and not everyone can talk out loud about it at school as if she outs me by accident the consequences won't be fun for me.

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Kat_Bat

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Zedrapazia 2 years ago

Don't let your Nan dictate your life, hun, you deserve to live your life and be yourself. Go to that pride, have fun, and laugh about that old hag. She can't do nothing to you anyway.

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#74

People fetishizing gay mlm relationships because for 1, ew and another thing is it’s ONLY mlm relationships, wlw relationships are labeled as “to sexual” and ”depriving two lovely men of wives”

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️‍sHeS rEaLLy gOoD️‍ (They/Them)

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Markus It/Its 2 years ago

Tbf there are straight men that fetishize wlw relationships out there too, they think it's hot to see two women "going at it". It's still gross but it exists

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#75

People trying to insult me by calling me gay. Ik ik, it's true jut still...

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Booni

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️‍MushroomAce️‍ 2 years ago

@S B dont you dare comment on this page. I'm sorry everyone had to go through/is going through this, but this person has gone too far.

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#76

when straight boys flirt with each other as a joke, which would be ok but they go so far and end up moaning and pretending to have sex and being gross. but for some reason,no one blinks an eye and it's fine, even though you know if it was a gay couple that would be taken totally differently. It's so stupid

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charlie b

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Markus It/Its 2 years ago

I know a pair of boys in my explorer scout troop who are like this together. In that case, it normally makes everyone uncomfortable. We (the openly lgbtqia+ members of the troop) got them back by knighting them as gay. It was very funny

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#77

As a transmasc(bodily), and questioning demi-boy, the fact that our father wont support us is heart breaking. He always says stuff about how we were born a girl, and so we always will be. -anti

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The_Messy_Sys

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#78

When straight people think they get a "Straight Flag". You is just the default setting. You haven't been fighting for your rights for years on end. You don't need recognition.( Class Poster Today, 2 boys in my class wrote black and white flags as "Straight Flags" and then crossed out all Pride Flags on the poster. And they yelled at us for crossing out their non-valid flags when they crossed out our valid flags.)

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Tiger_Lily

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#79

The fact that bEiNg gAy Is A sIn aNd yOu WiLl gO tO hElL. Like bruh 😒

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HELLUVA SEAGULL

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️‍MushroomAce️‍ 2 years ago

Yup.

1point

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#80

being afraid to tell my family

The fact that there needs to be homes for abandoned kids

having someone yell at me for saying my defenition of a gender i was/am is only this one thing and I was wrong (bi and pan) *cough*terrywaters*cough**cough*

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Monstrous Monstera 🪴

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Markus It/Its 2 years ago

I couldn't agree with the statement about pans because I know that your label is your label and it's none of anyone's business to say you're just pretending and you're actually straight/gay. I'm bi and been on the recieving end of that and it's hella annoying. I have no issues with pansexuality, just as I'd hope they'd have no issues with bisexuality. I didn't know about non binary people when I first started with my sexuality exploration (where I live is incredibly cis and straight) but as I reached my later teens I came into not contact with them and I realised that I found many of them attractive too. Bisexuality had been an important label for me when I was trying to figure out who I was and having that thrown into question again really messed with me. The second definition of bisexual (when the bi stands for the same gender and not same genders) was something I took as great comfort for my nasty coming out experience. This is quite long so tldr pans is valid, bis are too

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#81

second post
ppl saying oh I'm normal

btw if you like it or not everyone is in the alphabet mafia cis is a part of it

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Monstrous Monstera 🪴

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#82

Hi All, Heterosexual male here. I love and support all my friends in the LGBTQ+ community. That being said, I have a simple request: Please correct me if I use incorrect pronouns. I will always try to identify you as you are. Please know that I love you and respect you. I will support you and fight for you. Happy Pride!

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Nick R.

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Nick R. (Submission author) 2 years ago

Sorry for the double post. Perhaps an Admin can delete one!

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#83

1 That whole faze everyone went through on TikTok when they were “bi” but would never date a girl

2 I was questioning my gender a while ago and was trans for a while, I came out to one of my friends, he was nice but everytime a coach would call me a girl he would yell at them and scream “DO YOU LNOW HIS PRONOUNS” it was really embarrassing and I always told him I don’t care why should you, but kept doing it until I smacked him. Still does it sometimes and it makes me really uncomfortable because I’m questioning again and leaning to fem

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MK

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Markus It/Its 2 years ago

Overly aggressive support can be very uncomfortable when you're still questioning especially, I get that <3

4points

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#84

Telling people your pronouns or sexuality and them just disregarding it

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Lil

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Markus It/Its 2 years ago

I think even my friends have forgotten I'm bi. They'll be talking about hot guys or something and then apologise to me but bruh I find men attractive too

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#85

when my (specifically 2) straight friends make some…questionable remarks

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m.theamerican

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#86

I get called "gay" alot even when they know im pansexual and they keep making jokes like, "haha your attracted to frying pans haha!"

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DonutWrath >:)

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️‍MushroomAce️‍ 2 years ago

heh... yeah. Stay safe @CharlieJacobs.

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#87

The small dating pool is no joke. Sometimes it can really feel like you'll never get a happy relationship and it screws up with your self-esteem.

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Marcelo Mabuchi

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#88

People that don't know a person asking them "Are you [sexuality/gender]?" or "Do you like [person]?"

You don't know me. All you can do is assume, because I don't even know the answer to give it to you.

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Bone

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#89

Okay, so I’m pansexual deergenderfluid. I hate when people say that xenogenders don’t exist. Or when people say that this means I am a deer. I’m otherkin (tanuki) but I am not a deer! STFU! I literally have people pretend to “hunt” me because I’m a deer? What the f**k?

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NonbinaryOtherkin

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Markus It/Its 2 years ago

Fellow xenogender, I completely feel this. I found the label and connected with it long before I knew the backlash surrounding it. It's one of the factors behind why I'm so scared to come out. You are valid no matter what people say

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#90

The term pansexual and that so many people, in and outside of the community, thinks that bisexual means "only cis men and women." That was never true. It means two or more genders. My bisexuality has never been exclusive, and then one day I heard about the word pan and suddenly people were saying s**t like "I identify as pan because I don't exclude people based on gender."

Neither do most bisexuals, and a lot of pansexuals will have only been attracted to one gender despite what they say. It's just another expression of biphobia.

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Terry Waters

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Markus It/Its 2 years ago

Bi has more than one definition and people always forget the second. The second is pretty much interchangeable with pan and it's just whatever you feel most comfortable with. I consider myself bi and my first relationship was with a non binary person so it's definitely more than just men and women

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#91

Being called a “member” this ain’t no club.

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