Stay safe and remember to wear your masks, we are still in a pandemic folks!

#1

Gave myself a concussion with a hair dryer. I have very long hair and was blow drying it in my small apartment. When I went to flip my head down to blow dry underneath my head smacked the hair dryer which was hot. So I then reacted by jerking my head up and hitting the wall behind me. And that's just one of many weird injuries in my lifetime.

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#2

I have a couple but in honor of my dad who just passed away a week ago I'll tell this one first because it's hilarious....now. I wasn't raised by my bio dad, but we were still super close. One day he popped in out of the blue real late at night at my grandparents house. I was ecstatic like I always was when he made these surprise visits. He very rarely called ahead he'd just show up. Any how. I was about 15 and talking a mile a minute. You see the thing about his pop ins was that he'd pop out just as fast and un announced so you never had any idea how long he'd be there. So I was trying to play catch up as fast as possible before my grandparents woke up and got their time. I ran into my room to grab something to show him...a drawing I think, I got that talent from him. And when I went to run back out of the room, the door had partially shut... only I didn't see it because it was dark. I ran full speed into that door. It almost knocked me out. I stumbled to the living room and I could see that my dad had a mixture of concern and also trying to conceal laughter. He saw me about lose it and he said "nope...don't do it, you're tough don't cry" and then we both howled in laughter of how funny that actually was. The loudness of the door and our laughter woke up my grandparents. The next day I had a straight line bruise down my right side of my face. Looking back it had to be hilarious and honestly, strangely one of my most favorite memories. I miss my Dad so much. I miss his pop up visits.

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#3

Oh, Where to start...

I was kicked by a horse as I was walking/running away (he was upset), resulting in two perfect hoof shaped bruises on each butt cheek after a beautiful superman flight and landing.

I received a major concussion while grabbing for a towel just out of the H.S shower after Gym class. Feet slipped, and I rolled over, smacking my head on the concrete floor. Don't even remember getting dressed, but luckily, I did.

Working on a car when a lightning strike hit a nearby tree (I was in the garage). A bolt of electricity about an inch in diameter shot from the tire ramp, into the wrench I was holding. After a half hour of feeling on top of the world, I laid down for a two hour nap.

Jumping a BMX bike, the front tire fell off.

Hit in the head by a large rock that was kicked up by a car at a crash-up derby.

Had a rooster peck me in the eye.

Another concussion hitting my head on a iron cauldron (rendering pot) in the yard. Knocked me unconscious.

Slammed my thumb in a sliding van door backwards such that I couldn't reach the handle to free myself. Mom and Dad were on a tractor in the field, so I was stuck there for a while

Broke my right arm falling out of the right side of the hayloft. This is only funny because when he was the same age my brother fell out of the left side of the same loft and broke his right arm. My face landed in the only part of the barn floor that was dirt, leaving a perfect impression of a smooshed face.

Yet another concussion breaking a windshield with my forehead. I was had just hopped in the truck my friend was driving and hadn't buckled my seatbelt since I was staring at the girls cross-country team running by. My friend hit a fire hydrant.

Broke the tips of both pinkies wrestling

Threw out my back reaching for a can of soda.....

These are just the fun ones I can readily remember

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#4

Walking to school, I got run over by teacher who was late for school. She hadn’t cleared off her windshield, just a hole to see through, but not well enough. She hit me doing 35 mph, I was thrown 40 feet but only sustained minor injuries. God was on my side that day.

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#5

As I've gotten older (Well past 70), I've found such things as "getting out of bed" or "turning my head too quickly" can cause extreme pain if not done properly. For really severe injury, walking up and down stairs can achieve untold amounts of discomfort with knees clicking, locking in place and, ultimately, forcing myself to either grabbing said joint to try to move it or, as happened once, falling down the rest of the steps while trying to do this!
But the absolute "weirdest" injury was when my right thumb wouldn't unclasp while holding a drink, spilling the drink and causing my friends to laugh uncontrollably as I whacked my thumb on the table trying to get it to work.

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#6

My pet bird smacking me in the eye with his wing, ended up with the lower half of my eye full of blood for two weeks. Damn embarrassing explaining to doctor and the optometrist what happened, and I looked like a horror movie victim.

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#7

I broke my ankle carrying a vacuum cleaner downstairs, thought I was at the bottom but I wasn't. Splashed drain cleaner in my eye when the bottle fell over while I was cleaning the bathroom. Gashed my hand open dusting a rusty old trunk. Broke my toe accidentally kicking the tool box I left out. My insurance company would save money if they paid for me to have a housekeeper.

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#8

When I was a little kid and got my first root beer my mom forgot to put the bottle away. She went outside to feed our chickens, and came in to see me with red marks all over my face. I had found out that I could create suction with the bottle, and I could also drag it across my face while keeping the suction. I had lots of fun at the beginning, but then it got painful and I had to go to school with bright red marks all over my face for the next two days.

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#9

There is probably one for each day of the year, but here are a couple. I was in a car accident where I was hit broadside. I had a perforated ear drum, blood clot behind my right eye and a concussion. All on my right side, but I was driving, and my seatbelt on. It wasn't until the next day when I discovered my passenger had a really bad shoulder injury, on his left side. I was flung sideways, and my very hard head hit his shoulder.




Sitting on a bench at a roller-skating rink, with my right leg under the bench. Person #13 sat on the bench, causing it to collapse on my leg. Completely skinned my leg from behind my knee to my heel. Severed my calf muscle, which is now held together by scar tissue. No such thing as micro-surgery in 1973. I have a huge dent, plus severe nerve damage.




Got thrown off a wooden floating dock, by the son of Satan, and my cousin. They dropped me along the very splintered edge of the raft. Skinned from heels to shoulders. Took 2 weeks before I could walk properly.




Staying at a high-end hotel. Shower/bath-tub each had their own soap dishes. The kind that stick out. Taking a shower, dropped the soap. Bent over to retrieve soap, almost knocked myself. Huge goose-egg for a week. Nice color for the first few days. I had hoped it might knock some sense into me, but sadly, it didn't.

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#10

I was 8 and 1/2 months pregnant, in January, in Germany, and got all maternal and worried about our cat being stuck in our (not attached) garage. (She would have been fine if she had been, but ... pregnant brain and hormones.) She was not locked in the garage. Walking back down the hill, in flip-flops -- slipped on the frosty grass and broke my leg. Gave birth to my first son with my right leg in a cast to my hip. It was a really interesting experience ... would not recommend.

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#11

I was cleaning my ear with a q-tip (yes I know, you shouldn't do that) and for some reason, I took my hand off it while the other end was still in my ear, I think I tried to grab something that fell and I turned my head. The q-tip struck the open cabinet door and slammed the whole thing into my ear canal.

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#12

I have two...
1. Was riding my bicycle when the pedal somehow came off while taking a turn. I didn't realise, stepped into the air, bike falls down and I take the turn on the street while scrapping the skin of my waist off...

2. Electric cooker. Was cooking something when and when I touched the food electricity went through my whole arm and shoulder. I lost feeling in that arm for about two weeks and spent 2 days in hospital for observation of heart failure.

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#13

Remembered another silly one. I strained my shoulder while taking off a shirt. :3

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#14

My wife was definitely a Doctor Pimple Popper wannabe and decided to pop a cyst on my back (or at least squeeze the gunk out of it - which is actually what GPs recommend). A month later after an operation to remove the massive abscess that developed, and left with a 4cm scar I'm vowing never to let her anywhere near my 'spots' again!

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#15

When I was 6 or 7 my Aunt and Uncle had a hobby farm, my cousins, sister and I were clearing a field of all the rocks and sticks, when we were done my Uncle had us all run back to the house because he was taking us for ice cream, I ran and tripped over the only stick which just happened to be the exact same distance from the last rock as I was tall. I cut my forehead open & my Uncle took off his shirt (he was a very large man, shirt was a 4X) to wrap around my head. By the time I made it to the house it was totally red, my Mom was so freaked out my Aunt had to take me to the hospital. A few months later at their place again I fell (was pushed) off a 2 foot tall dollhouse and my arm landed on a sprinkler. The sprinkler had an arm shaped dent in it, which I thought was funny. When I went to stand up my hand stayed on the ground and the skin on my arm just stretched, which I thought was hilarious (there was no pain) so I had to pick up my hand and hold it the other hand and the skin just sagged down in between. When we went to the house my mom freaked out again and my Aunt drove me to the hospital. They had to knock me out and set it under an X-ray machine. That was when I realized that you should not freak out in front of your kids and wait till everything was over to get upset.
A few weeks later Mom asked me to go down to the basement with her because she heard a strange noise. It turned out that a mouse had had babies in an old mattress, my Mother was terrified of mice so grabbed me by the arms and used me like a human shield to "protect" her. I just backed out of the room and shut the door. The next day at school I get called to the office. When I get there the school nurse, Principal and a lady from child protective services were there. They asked me how I got hurt. I told them the truth, you could tell they didn't believe me. Having 2 handprint bruises wrapped around both of my upper arms probably looked suspicious & telling them my Mom did it didn't help much. I tried to tell them that my parents would never purposely hurt me and that my Mom was just terrified by the tiny cute little mice but they were convinced that I was being abused. They sent me back to class and they all walked me to the top of the stairs and watched walk/fall down them. Their helpful response to my new injuries was actually laughter. They all looked at each other and said I really was just a klutz and they never did talk to my parents.

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#16

I broke my collar bone at band practice when the guy playing bass drum basically ran over me and fell with my snare drum harness on.

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#17

I have several... I am more accident prone than I care to admit, but the first one happened at high school. The area in front of the school had those concrete garden benches, the kind that is just a slab set on two upright slabs. My best friend was sitting on one, and I saw that one of the uprights had been jostled off the end of the pavement, and was sinking into the sand. I walked up quickly to pull her off of it, when it collapsed, crushing both my big toes underneath. I have never felt pain like that, and, as I said, I've had a lot of injuries... but YIKES.

Second one I was scraping alligatored paint off the eaves of my house. I was getting ready to stop for the day, picking up tools, when I saw one little spot that I wanted to hit with the wire brush before I shut down for the night. I was using an attachment to my giant electric drill. I climbed the ladder and grabbed the drill... I didn't bother to put on my hat and safety glasses for just a minute's work... when the wind blew, wrapped my long hair around the shaft of the drill, bashed me in the face and knocked me off the ladder while pulling out a half dollar sized hank of hair. I was lucky I just had a bald spot and a black eye from that one. Always wear your safety gear Pandas... always.

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#18

Literally just grabbing a cup, but my skin was really dry cause it was winter so somehow I started bleeding. There have been weirder, but I can't think of them right now

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#19

I pointed and dislocated a finger. I turned and dislocated my knee. Sneezed popped out a rib. Ehlers Danlos is never boring

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#20

It was our anniversary. I tripped over hubby’s feet. He’s complaining loudly about how I purposely broke his toe. All the time I’m on the floor huddled in a ball because I broke 2 of my toes. So we both hobbled around the next few days with our broken toes!

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#21

Woke up to a sharp pain in my right knee. I had somehow torn my meniscus while sleeping.

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#22

arm wrestling. i fractured my pinky. first time i had a serious injury.

anyone who hasnt broken/fractured a bone: it only hurts like hell for a little while😁

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#23

I was young about 5 or 6 and me and our house in the country had burn down so we got a apartment me and my sister was happy because we was in town around friends we didn’t have a bed yet just a mattress and we would run jump on the mattress and turn to hit our back on the wall ( we was poor so this was fun to us) when I went to run my sister push me hard and I went face first in to the wall buss all my face to this day I have a big top lip the good days

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#24

I have two.

1. A guinea pig bit a sensitive area on my chest so hard it bled.

2. When I was very little an older kid thought it would be funny to push the merry-go-round I was on as fast as he could. I went flying off of it and my chin hit the wood square that was around the play area. My chin split open and I needed stitches. I still have a scar.

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#25

Was at a summer camp type thing. Tried standing and sliding down on a slip n’ slide (they’d told us not to, I somehow didn't hear), slipped backwards, and slammed my head against the ground. I was okay, but having people fill out an incident report for that was a bit embarrassing.

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#26

I love baking, but I once almost did great damage to my face when I was twelve by forgetting to tie back my long hair before using an electric mixer. You can probably guess what happened. I started panicking, and if my mom hadn't run from the room over to unplug it, that thing might've taken an eye out. Luckily, I only had a small bruise under my hair. Thanks, mom!

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#27

i have a weird bone disease that appears to be genetic as my siblings have it as well. causes all sorts of things from calcium literally leaching out of the joints to wear away the soft tissues to causing bone spurs and easily breaking bones.

the silliest thing i have done to date was having a bone spur on the forearm bone (sorry, can't remember the proper name) that severed the ulnar nerve when i was trying to hook my bra as i don't do the 'hook in the front and spin it to the back' technique due to underwires. i never knew nerve damage was so insanely painful as it felt as if my hand and arm were being blasted by a blow torch. ended up having surgery to reconnect the nerve and translocate it over the arm...which means i no longer have a 'funny bone' to hit with that elbow.

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#28

When I was 12 , I slipped and hit the part in between my toes on a sharp part of a metal bucket, hard enough for the doctor to suggest stiches.

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#29

sooo many, but the latest was a hamstring injury from trying to scrape dog poop off of my shoe.

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#30

Not weird but down to my sheer stupidity. Picked up a fork and one of the tines was bent out of shape. Tried to push it into line with my thumb. Trip to A&E, no stitches but tetanus injection needed. Couple of years later picked up a fork with a bent tine ……. You can guess the rest but with stitches this time. I haven’t done it again - yet.

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#31

Flies in the kitchen, drives me nuts, so there was one on the kitchen window, I climbed a chair, as I swat at it, I fell and broke my wrist in two places, fly s**t, not in my kitchen.

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#32

I have a scar on my thumb from a wound caused during a squirt-gun fight with my husband. It was caused by the squirt gun slipping in my hand while I was firing it. Not my proudest moment.

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#33

I was playing vr and of course I can't see what's in the floor, so I stomp on a lego and out of shock I sacked my finger on the wooden cabinet. I took a break from vr after that.

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#34

Tripped on a Diet Coke can that escaped through a hole in the plastic bag I was carrying it and my lunch in. Rolled my ankle sideways by stepping on said can of pop resulting in 3 weeks of wearing a walking boot and using a cane. Have finally graduated to wearing an ankle brace now.

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#35

11 years old, in the bath, getting ready to come out the bath and decided to open the bathroom window. This was before everyone had double glazing mind, it was the single pane of glass with wooden frames that EVERYONE painted. Our windows had all recently been painted and the window was stuck, so instead of hitting round the frame to try and open it I was hitting the centre of the window! Didn't take many hits like that before my hand went right through it! Cut the side of my hand and wrist, started screaming and that's how my mum found me - naked in the bath screaming my head off!

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#36

Another one. When I was 10 years old I was out roller skating with my friends. I absolutely LOVED my old roller boots (yes, boots not blades, we only had boots back then lol!). My friends drive had a small slope in it that we used to skate down and turn at the bottom. But one day my luck ran out! I slipped trying to turn and hit the concrete step. Cut my chin, burst my lips, broke both of my front teeth and half of one of the teeth was embedded in my top lip. My papa and auntie picked me up and took me to the surgery, which was closed over Christmas and they had to phone the Dr to meet us at the surgery. And just my luck it was the nastiest Dr we had who was on call that day and the 1st thing she said was "She can't come in here with rollerboots on"! My papa just shut her down, I didn't have shoes with me anyway!

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#37

i was going on a hike in Ecuador when I fell right under the guard rail on a small cliff. I caught the bar luckily but I was all scraped up.

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#38

When I was nine I decided to try and shave. In my mind I was chanting ¨ I´m going to regret this, I´m going to regret this ¨ Man did I ever. I shave off the top of my thumb, because I´m smart that way. There was blood everywhere. Finally had to call for help. When my parents asked what happened, I said I cut it on the shower door. They still think that to this day.

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#39

When I was seven me and my only brother at that time were drawing. (my brother was five at the time) He put his drawing in the office to give to our mom later. I grabbed some scissors and teased him that I was going to cut it up. He thought I wasn´t kidding. As I was walking out from pretending to cut it he ran towards me with some even bigger scissors. I had to go to the emergency room and get seven stitches on the inner side of my elbow. I also had to get one of my thumbs glued. He had to do my chores for a month though, so that was a plus.

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#40

I have a swollen bump on my knee permanently because I was walking an old horse on a halter and my leg got stuck in a log and he stepped on it. The old guy is dead now. RIP Dusty.

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#41

I was cycling along, whistling nonchalantly, when suddenly the front tire literally unhinged itself from the cycle and bounced forward, making me hit my head on the handle. the catalyst for this, btw, was a usually untroubling speed bump. It wasn't too major, but I had to get a new cycle.

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#42

A squirrel with a scratch on its head wandered up to me and put its paw on my shoe. I picked strawberries under a dumpster nearby, stood up and cracked my head open, and had to get staples. Apparently head injuries are contagious.

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#43

1. I’ve broken or dislocated nearly all of my toes walking up and down stairs, and stubbing them.

2. Fractured my cheek and gave my self a dimple (all in one go) walking through the house, after slipping on furniture polish residue that was caused by me two weeks prior.

3. Broke the same pinky twice, 4 months apart, the exact same way - basketball bounced up and smacked in to the tip of my finger.

4. Classmates have broken my toe (kicking me during football/soccer - accident), and my finger (handball - on purpose).

5. Sprained my knee when our dog got overexcited and ran full speed, head first, in to it.

6. I have a lot of scars from dropping things - burns, cuts, etc. I’m honestly a giant klutz. Surprisingly, I’ve never been hospitalized for injuries.

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#44

I recently stepped on a dog toy which resulted in an infection that went into the bones in my foot. Spent 10 days in the hospital on IV antibiotics and ended up having surgery to remove a toe and most of a metatarsal.

Moral of the story, stepping on a Lego isn't that bad. Choose the Lego over the dog toy 10/10 times.

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#45

In 2nd grade i broke my finger playing tether ball.

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#46

I stubbed my toe on an elephant plush toy.

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#47

Once, I had this giant slash across my cheek. It was really obvious but in a bad way. But the thing is, I don't even know how it got there. One second my cheek was fine, the next second there was a giant gash on my cheek.

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#48

Was the lead on a hike up a trail with my girlfriends. My friend Linda was the last to reach the top of the peak. We all gave her encouragement throughout the hike and we kept a slow pace. This was her first time hiking.
One by one we gathered at the apex and when she joined us we all fist bumped our accomplishment.
She was so happy, she grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me saying “I. Made. It!”
On the “It” she was a bit enthusiastic and pushed me backwards off the trail and down the hill. It was not pretty!
A few scrapes and scratches and a whole lotta screaming, lol.
None of us ever forgot that hike and laugh about it still to this day.

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#49

I had to go to the hospital because I slid too fast from a waterslide.
I bumped my head when I 'flew out of a corner' and bumped my knee against a floor drain in the pool the slide ended in.
This resulted in 4 stiches in my brow and 4 in my knee.

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#50

when i fell off one of those bouncy house slide thingies when i was 5, i hit my head weird but otherwise fine.

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#51

I once was injured by an ice cream sandwich. It was a thick one with cookies on the outside and somehow, as I bit into it, I heard a tearing sound in my jaw. It hurt for weeks afterward.

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#52

Shot a bb into my eye socket shooting at a target on a wood shed. No, this is not A Christmas S

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#53

Oh, another one:
-when they were little my oldest sister (we'll call her R) pushing my second-oldest sister (we'll go with N) on a swing, pushes too hard, N hits the cement hard, in just a way that her entire top row of teeth gets pushed up into her skull. Had a surgical operation to put them back where they belong and she's fine now, college student working to be a prosthetist, and may i had, she has perfect healthy teeth now. but yeah, that's always a fun story...
-second one is when the same sister, R, was helping me on one of those metal playground zipline things, at one point she sent the zipline forward before i was ready and my weak little 3-year-old arms couldn't hang on tightly enough, anyways i fell off and even though it was a short distance, i landed wrong and broke my wrist. Long story short my siblings got to go to an awesome pool party later while i was stuck getting x-rayed.

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#54

Not really an injury injury but once when I was in 3rd grade, I stood up on the bus to move seats and when I was walking, this stupid 2nd grader pushed me and I fell backwards. I think I actually got knocked out for a few seconds and my head hurt like a headache hurt not a concussion hurt. AND THE PATROLS SAID IT WAS MY FAULT BECAUSE i WaS sTaNdInG oN a MoViNg BuS and I was so mad.

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#55

I was going to the library in the middle of the summer with my brothers and dad. We took my dads truck and once we got to the library I got out and started to go inside the library. But then I decided to turn around and pet my dog that we had brought along. (Nickle) When I reached out to pet him I walked straight into the hitch. Three and a half years later I still have a dent in my leg and no nerve endings in that area.

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#56

Once two years ago when I was going to mutual I was late. I got out of my mom´s car and started to run towards the church. I turned the corner and slipped on some ice. I fell on my hip. I dislocated my hip and pulled a tendon.
Luckily I was okay, but it could have been much worse.

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#57

When I was still living at home, both my cousin and I played hockey, and we both stored our gear behind the furnace in a little side room of the basement. One night my cousin left his bag in the doorway, so stupidly I decided to just hop over it and let him move it because it’s his damn bag!

I hopped, caught my foot on the bag strap and crashed face first onto the concrete basement floor. Had a bruised elbow and chin. Didn’t do that again!

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#58

The corner of my fridge door cut open my foot and now I have had a scar for months.
I just wanted a muffin lol

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#59

In band practice just a few weeks ago, (I play trumpet/Baritone/almost any brass instrument that has valves.)

One of the pistons got stuck but I didn't have oil/grease, so I did the bootleg de-stick and smashed it with my hand a few times to get it un-stuck.

Well... I took my hand off in the wrong way, and managed to smash it onto my palm. Since the edgs are metal and sharp, it cut me, left a bruise, then SCARRED.

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#60

wasp sting underneath one of my smaller toes. i was youngish, middle school age or so? walked through a field during summer camp in sandals. wasp got stuck under my toes and angry at the inconvenience. it was the last day, and very close to the time to leave, and my dad was the camp nurse, so he was kinda sad his kid got hurt at the last minute. afterwards, we had camp awards. the whole camp was divided into teams, and those teams had flags they'd give to team mvps. guess who got team mvp the year they had a bag of ice tucked under their toes? dad had to carry me.

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#61

I got run over by my own Moped.

ok, here's the scoop. I was parking my Moped on a hill and in order to lower the kick stand you have to get off of the Moped, hold both brakes levers shut and then release the brakes while rolling it backwards as you push down on the kick stand. Unfortunately the kickstand didn't engage properly and the moped rolled backwards knocking me over slamming my head onto the pavement. Luckily I was wearing my helmet and found myself with a mild concussion and gouges in the helmet itself.

The irony of this? I work at a Hospital and was just arriving for work so a nearby nurse saw me laying there dazed and confused and took me over to the nearby Emergency Room where I underwent some xrays and was given the night off of work.

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#62

I had a few minor scrapes from making recreational skydives.

But the most debilitating injury? When walking I was forced to move at some kind of shuffle for weeks. It took me like half a year before I could confidently manage stairs. My knee still pains me occasionally in early mornings or when I make an incautious move.

Yep, that ballroom dancing stuff is LETHAL.

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#63

I sprained a finger in my sleep. I was a professional goalkeeper at the time and I had to explain this to my coach in front of the lads who were all in gales of laughter.

But my wife's is even better. She broke her foot watching TV. We had ordered a food delivery and when there was a knock at the door she leapt up to answer it. Unfortunately, she dropkicked the coffee table and spent four hours in A&E.

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#64

Bunny bit my upper lip so hard it swelled for 2 weeks, still have the scar on the inside and it permanently bruised my upper lip. Fell down the stairs over a cat and broken 2 ribs. Sprained my ankle and wrist due to a bird in my ceiling tiles. I stood on a computer chair to see where it was and it flew at me, I ducked and the chair spun and I landed on the floor.
My son was at a trampoline park did a trick (been in gymnastics for years so he was safe doing stuff) little kid walked behind him during the trick he didnt want to hit the kid so he rotated and didnt land correctly. Pushed front tooth backwards, and gashed lip. Hours later he had a lovely splint across his teeth and had to wear it for months. He still has to be extra careful with that tooth and eating.

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#65

Way too many, I stood up when my foot was under an old fashion radiator in my room. Shaved the back of my heel off. Should have gotten stitches but my Mom didn't think it was that bad. The Dr. wasn't pleased.

Standing on the top of a ladder so I could jump on a rope swing. The ladder started to sway so I dropped the rope (duh) and fell. Broke my arm.

Playfully swung a very dull floral knife at a flower in my hand (pretending to decapitate it). The knife caught my thumb and sliced down to the bone. Missed my nerves etc. but, much to the glee of the surgeon, you could see them.

I closed the door of a rental van/truck accidentally using a piece that stuck out like a handle but was not a handle. I broke my pinkie finger smashing it between the non-handle and dashboard. Drove home thinking it couldn't be that bad.

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#66

I got bitten by a bat.
At work.
In the library.

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#67

I stood up too fast. I have bad iron deficiency and 13 year old me is always careful when standing up. 7 year old me was not. I jumped off my chair, my vision narrowed and idiot 7 year old me thought that it was cool and fun. So I did it again. And again. It started to hurt when I did it the fourth time. I stood up and thought moving would stop it. Never stand up and walk while you are blacking out. I slammed into a wall. Lost a tooth. Cried. I noticed that the blackouts didn't hurt anymore. I did it one more time. Got a headache. Cried more. I am no longer stupid. I don't think of my iron deficiency as a challenge from God anymore.

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#68

Something else I did twice which was yet again down to me being an idiot. Every Saturday afternoon went horse riding usually out on hacks with a small group. Snowball was rather old but couldn’t half shift when he wanted to. He knew where we could have a good gallop, I didn’t. Which is why he caught me unawares. Pulled him up but instead of staying where I was I went back to join the others. Snowball thought ooh great, another go. This time he fitted under the tree branch, I didn’t and ended up with an unintentionally pierced nose, black eyes and flat on my back on the ground laughing my head off while the youngster I used to take with me was crying and wailing that I was dead. Nope, still here.

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#69

Hoo boy. One time I was dancing (I do ballet) and I spooked myself with my own reflection in the mirror. I jumped backwards into the barre and thus gave myself a huge bruise on my hip and was limping for days. You'd think that for a ballet dancer, I'd be more graceful but nope

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#70

Not exactly an injury, but somehow I managed to get an eye infection during an open heart surgery. My recovery was made worse than it could have been, because my eye was leaking and drying shut with crusty stuff.

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#71

I was doing laundry and was walking down the stairs when I stepped on a dryer sheet. Both feet flew up and I landed right on a stair tread and broke my back.

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#72

broke my toe weaving through moving boxes in my new home and kicking the wall. the wall won

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#73

I fell of a fricken seesaw and about broke my arm in half but that isn’t the weirdest. I have stubbed my foot on a cow before by not looking where I was going.

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#74

Once I went to my sisters to go swimming. Her swimming pool is bean shaped and the right side is shallow and the left side is about seven foot deep. My two nephews and my niece wanted to know how to do a jackknife into the swimming pool. They had shown me lots of stunts. So I get up on the edge of the pool and perfectly execute the jackknife in the air. But in the air, I turned right instead of left and landed in the shallow end. I was planning to land in the deep end so had my knees locked. But because I landed in three feet of water instead of seven feet, I landed so hard I broke both my heels and my back and had to be dragged out of the pool because I couldn’t swim because I was in shock. I spent three months in a wheelchair and had surgery to reconstruct my heel bone and then months of physical therapy - but I can walk again now within limits. But that serious of an injury was the result of a jump I’d done hundreds of times before.

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#75

I broke my ankle playing minecraft.
Also tripped on the hoover and got a huge cut on my nose.
Happened to brainfart while re-opening the car door and slamming it in my eyebrow (huge cut, again).
Was late for my horse-riding lesson, put my head in front of horse knee while I was cleaning him : knee vs eyebrow, huge cut.

I'm a clumsy one...

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#76

I was playing tag with my friends and I was gonna quickly change directions while running... I ran into a pole.
The next day, I ran into a friend and then proceeded to get hit by a basketball 8 TIMES in the same week... The part below my eye was hard and swollen for about a week or two.

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#77

I once fractured a pinkie by running into a door frame. Also I burnt myself touching a lightbulb, and cut myself by sticking my hand in a trash can. I was 5 when all of these happened. Also, my friend went to the hospital because she was in a lake with poisonous fish, and a ton bit her. She survived, but yeah.

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#78

I've got a scar on my foot from hitting it on the endpin of my cello

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#79

My Dad used to race stock cars & we were at the track, I was seven. My Dad was winning the race (which is probably the only reason I'm alive) and he rolled his car and had his arm sticking out the window. I was on a teeter totter with a friend and saw my dad's car roll so I jumped off and ran to him. The stands were crowded so I chose to go down beside them and climbed the fence and jumped over the wall, landed on the track and ran to my Dad. By this time his car had stopped & he was getting out, he picked me up and waved to the crowd, he was fine, had no injuries. My Mom and sister were in the stands and were stopped from going on the track. My Dad kept me in the pit until the races were over, which was good because my Mom needed a little time to calm down so she wouldn't kill me. Apparently I caused 3 other accidents from the cars trying to not hit me, again no one was hurt. After the track was cleared the Ambulance took off up to the gate where my friend had broken her arm when I jumped off the teeter totter, she had to have surgery. That was the last day I got to go to the races.

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#80

I live in Canada, and one winter a dozen years ago or so, I had to get to university during a bad snow/ice storm. I finally made it to the bus stop, but little did I know the entire floor was covered in black ice! So, of course, I slipped, and I automatically tried to stop my fall by leaning against the glass bus shelter, and completely shatter the glass by putting my elbow through it!! I had huge shards sticking out of my arms, so someone called 911, and a doctor carefully removed the shards, no stitches needed thank goodness! Still have several scars on my right arm

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#81

When I was 5 or 6 I lived in a house by a canal. It went under my driveway and there was a metal tunnel that the water went through. One summer all the water had dried up. I decided to walk through it to look for snakes or something. When I got to the end, I reached up to grab the top of it. When I put my hand on it I felt something crawl over it, so I jerked my hand down. Bad decision. I had a three inch long cut that luckily didn't reach any veins, but was very close.

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#82

So i was about 4, traveling with my family in new Zealand, and we were renting this caravan which had a bed high in the roof, and i was sleeping in this with my sister, and at night i was having rlly bad nightmares and was searching for my sister in this bed, (we were rlly small at this age and they were so many blankets) could not at all find her and i ended up falling out of this canopy and onto the metal floor, right beneath my parents bed.

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#83

when i was 10 or so i was SO clumsy. i could not go a day without getting hurt. kind of incredible sometimes. once, we were at the beach (i was still about 10) and i stubbed my toe in the sand. which doesn't sound so bad but of course there was a huge piece of glass underneath the surface. sliced open my foot and we had to go home that day

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#84

I got up in the night for water, but sat down because I felt dizzy. The next moment I woke up on the floor - I'd fainted, although I still don't know why. The weird bit is that while falling to the floor, I'd cut the skin above my right eye on the corner of a table. The table was to the left of me, and to this day I can't work out how I fell to make that happen - although it definitely did, because I still have the scar.

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#85

I was bending over to get something off the floor in my mom's room and popped my shoulder out of place. I have no idea how I did it. Couple years later, out popped that shoulder again doing yardwork.

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#86

When I was 5 I walked into the plate my sister was carrying. Cut just under my eye down to the

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#87

I have done so many that people just don't even try to understand. I have managed to slice my arm open with my toothbrush (the bristles). I have landed wrong in pointe shoes and sheared of a piece of bone on the big toe. I have walked into doors and ended up with a bruise imprint of the k**b. I have (on multiple occasions) dropped the jar of peanut butter and as a former goalie in reflex block it with my shin only to end up with huge bruises. I have smacked myself with a grater in the face and still have a scar 20 years later. I frequently dislocate fingers in my sleep or wake up to handprint bruises (yes they are from my hand). But I have 3 I will never be able to fully explain how to others.

When I was 5 I walked into the plate my sister was carrying and cut under my eye down to the bone.

When I was 6 I broke my elbow, a hairline fracture all but 2mm through the middle. Today this day I have no idea how.

As a teenager I was sitting in chairs with friends and we were throwing a ball around. I threw the ball then about 20 seconds later somehow fell out of the chair. During the fall I sliced my wrist. I now have a T shaped scar that has caused concern in others when they don't know how I got the scar.

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#88

I stick my feet in the water... I needed 3 stitches in between my toes after the fact. I was like 4 and so drugged up by idiotic doctors (sorry, it was explained at the hospital later on that I didn't need to be put under for stitches, according to urgent care i had to be) that I don't remember anything for a span of 3 days.

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#89

Had hot oil splashed into my eye when i was experimenting with deep frying!
Thankfully had a minor cornea injury which eventually healed. No long term loss/hinderance in vision.
I am still horrified though, Now i wear glasses in the kitchen specially when frying while cooking even though i have a perfect vision.

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#90

I stabbed myself with my own figure skate.... in my arm... while i was skating

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#91

Oh ho ho ho…. Ah hahaha! I have a great one…… I f*caking broke my arm falling out of a wheel barrow. I was I. The wheelbarrow. I tried to jump out of the previously mention wheelbarrow. I slipped and broke my arm on said wheelbarrow. I know, such a craaaazy story

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#92

When I was 9 me and my dad were playing and he slammed my toe in the door and kept shoving because he thought I was pushing on the door. He broke my pinky toe

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#93

Once when I was 6 years old living on a farm in Connecticut with my grandparents, I had a (very vivid) dream that I could fly and that morning I climbed up a tree and jumped off then broke my left arm. 8 years later we had moved to Maryland and I was at my friend's house, we thought it was a good idea to climb up to her roof and jump off and try to land in the pool. She made it in because she's done it many times before but I landed on the concrete and broke my left leg and a rib. I've also twisted many things during lacrosse and I have an ambulance driver on speed dial.

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#94

When I was 11, my dad had took a couple seats out of our car and they were in the garage. Me and my sister were shoving each other and rough housing and I dove for one of the seats not realizing that she was sitting down and, long story short, her entire weight was on my middle finger. Broken finger and twisted nerve endings.

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#95

riding in the passenger seat, zooming down the freeway, i got stung by a bee. in the ear.

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#96

i was walking downstairs and ONE SINGLE LEG sliped and it really hurt

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#97

i was trying to cut a bagel and i accidently cut my finger

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#98

Fell into the drainage (was completely dry),while playing football,got my forehead cut open.

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#99

So, when I was 10, my school had a sensory playground. I used to run on it, cuz it was like an obstacle course. So one day, it rained, and the playground was wet. But idiot me decided to run on it. I ended up slipping and falling, and I banged my knee hard. It made a huge gash, and I went to school. When I went back, I went to the doctor, he told me to go to the hospital to get stitches, and now I have a scar for proof.

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#100

held my breath right after standing up blacked out and fell backwards woke up blood gushing out of the back of my head went to the doctor (lived right next to him cuz i live in a small town)he asked what happened and i said i dont know which was a lie i have a scar on the back of my head and i still hold my breath because its funny to forget what's happening

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#101

I have epilepsy, but a type that causes me to simply black out for a moment and one side of my body gives way. Needless to say, I fall a lot, and have lots of injuries as a result. Concussions, fire burns, water burns, oil burns, needing stitches in the back of my head, etc., but never broke a bone (limp falls=no resistance) and only go to the doctor for very obvious injuries I can't handle at home. However, one time I had a seizure while walking up the stairs and obviously fell down them and hit a door at the bottom. Since I'm used to falling, thought nothing of it.
After about two days my right arm started to swell and hurt a lot. I went to the ER and got an X-Ray. Found out I must have regained consciousness and caught myself while hitting the door, because I had fractured my arm.
That wasn't the funny part, though. The technician found a really old fracture I never knew about. At some point I had either hurt my arm as a kid and pushed through the pain (not surprising since I was very active and sometimes sustained injuries), or had another seizure at some point where I caught myself and injured my arm.
Basically, I just find it to be pretty funny I never realized I had fractured a bone, considering how much it hurts. I must have always had a pretty high tolerance for pain (and an avoidance of "unnecessary" ER visits).

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#102

1. I was crossing the street..using the crosswalk...even though I had the signal and other cars had stopped...one car decided to used the bus lane to bypass everyone else..had to run and jump on the curb...which result in a glass Christmas tree that I was carrying in a bag flying up and hitting me by my eye. The next day I woke up to a shiner of a black hair. Told everyone I'd gotten hit with the chirstmas spirit.
2. My work had grid sections...with bars that detached...I was trying to get one off. Could not.... kept pulling it and pulling it. Finally..it came free...but I'd pulled a little to hard and it flew into the side of my head by my eye. Again woke up with a shiner. Told everyone I tried to fight work.

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#103

Not me, my dad, but this one is so weird that I have to share it. In kindergarten, some kid stabbed my dad in the leg with a pencil for no reason. My dad has a pencil mark in the place where the kid stabbed him. The other guy has one too.

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#104

Trampoline: I caught a sit-bounce wrong when I was in high school and it really messed up my Sciatic Nerve. I had to get a deep tissue massage every other week and couldn't sit down without pain for over a year!

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#105

Wet flip flops. Ankle sprain, knee twists. Things are demonic yet I live wearing them

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#106

I got stitches and a concussion because my hand gave out holding g my own body weight... trying to pick up my lighter and I hit the twenty pound dumbell under my bed. Yay me. Btw I only weigh like 135 lbs. 💁‍♀️🤦‍♀️

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#107

When I was 6 I decided it would be a good idea to run full speed down a slide at school. Long story short I tripped over a kid climbing the slide, flew forward, and broke my collarbone. I had to wear a sling for 6 months.

When I was 8 I sprained my wrist twice because of attempting a backbend.

When I was 10 my ankle twisted outward in gym class and I had to use a boot and crutches for 4 months. I also broke my other collarbone by whacking it on my bunk bed when I woke up

Needless to say, I was a dumb kid.

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#108

got my member stuck in the zipper. Having to roll down the zipper was most painful, seemed to take ages.

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#109

Knocked unconscious after falling out of a tree deep in a forest after being surprised by an opossum around midnight. I was hired by a company that made paper to do an environmental impact statement. The forest was possibly the home to the threatened (now endangered) West Virginia Northern Flying Squirrel. A survey of all wildlife had to be done before they could cut a single tree and my team was hired to try and find them. The squirrels are nocturnal so we had to set the traps in the trees 20-40ft up at night (otherwise you'd catch other animals) then check them two hours later and release whatever we found (to avoid predators eating them). I was climbing back up a tree to recover a trap and surprised the 'possum who hissed at me as I let go and fell 20 feet into bramble. My partner helped dig me out and got me back to the truck but had to finish checking the traps before we could go to the hospital. I spent two days in the hospital. For about 2 weeks my face looked like a map of London with all red roads and the fabric seats of the truck had permanent blood stains. 3 days later he found one of the squirrels so no tree cutting.

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#110

Out with the family one day when I was about 8yo. Dad was driving, mom was sitting passenger side, I was behind mom, younger sister in the middle and older sister next to her. We stopped at a drive up atm and I don't remember why but I decided I wanted to put my head out the window. Next thing I know the window is closing and I start screaming bc It hurts and can't breathe, my older sister is laughing and pointing, my dad is fussing about the noise and keeps pushing the button to close the windows not realizing I'm stuck when finally my mom looks back and sees what's going on and stops my dad.

Also around 12yo I had just slid down a slide and took off running and ran straight into a tree. Couldn't see where I was going due to my hair in my face.

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#111

I normally get injured on a weird way, my most recent one was when a terracotta oven dish shattered while I was washing it and sliced my hand. my boyfriend said that I should have gone and get it stitched up but my injury assessment is something like this 'meeeeh as long as I can't see a bone it's fine'
(funny fact: as an experimental artist I often work with 'dangerous' materials like broken mirror pieces, and that never ever caused me any injury...but try to wash dishes like everyone else I end up with scars...so typical :D )

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#112

I've sprain my right ankle badly (I don't even remember how, probably something stupid as well). The day after, still obviously recovering, I wanted a snack so I was hopping on my left leg to the kitchen - should be ok, I foolishly thought, it was mostly a long hallway so I could use the walls for support.
Nah, idiot me slipped and fell, spraining the left ankle in the process. So there was me on the floor, crying from pain but also laughing how stupid I was!

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#113

Was playing tennis in a PE lesson but there was a slight slope that connected the two halves of the playground. The wind blew the net and down the slope towards me , when trying to get round to the side to catch it I tripped and split my chin open

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#114

I broke my wrist in several places in middle school picking up my backpack (that was full of books) after using the restroom in school. No one believed me that it was more than just a strain until day 3 when I walked out of band class, called my mom from the office, and told her that if she didn't come get me to take me for x-rays that I was going to walk and no one would be able to stop me. (I had good, attentive parents, they just thought I was exaggerating and teachers dismissed it too.)

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#115

Once in 4th grade we were outside for field day and I grabbed a decent sized (probably fist-sized for a 9 yr old) rock and threw it straight up to see how high I could get it. Thought "well, that was dumb. I better run before it comes down on my head." and took off running. Turns out I didn't throw it as straight up as I thought and it came down hard right on top of my head while I was running at a full sprint. Ouch. I'm convinced the overly obvious dent where my soft spot was is related to this, but no actual damage done.

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#116

I found a baby hedgehog sat in the middle of the road. Worried it might get run over I picked it up to move it to the grass verge.
It thanked me by biting my thumb very hard. Ouch !!

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#117

I have a couple stupid ones…

The oldest one was when I was about 3 years old and I broke my arm climbing on my dad, now I’m laughing about how stupid I was.

The next one was my first time with a box cutter, and I just stabbed myself with it.

The third one was also pretty stupid, I hurt my wrist cartwheeling off a couch (IDK why I ever did that🤷‍♀️).

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#118

Hi, here goes...

1. Dislocated my right knee playing badminton. It stopped the show! I can remember the sound it made quite clearly. Everyone stopped what they were doing! I hit the shuttlecock and as I came down everything went into slow motion. I actually watched as my knee decided to bend at the side instead of the usual way. I woke up on the floor in a puddle of seat and looked at my kneecap at the side of my knee as it had slipped round, so I thought now would be the best time to put it back. The second time I woke up, after passing out from the self-inflicted pain, I asked if I had scored the point. I have not been able to play badminton or tennis since, nor can I run. It took them eighteen months before they finally took my knee apart and removed the torn cartilage.
2. When I was still smoking my sister begged me for a cigarette and I refused, as she was trying to give up. She weighed slightly more than me and jumped on me. My left knee dislocated!
3. Crushed my thumb between the tow-hook of our Land Rover and the tow-bar of a trailer full of tree cuttings. My wife saw my head go down as the two met with my thumb between them. I hooked them up and got in the Landie. I was wearing gloves and she asked me what I had done, so I told her. Lit a cigarette and smoked it inside three minute. Gloves hide the pain and damage, cigarettes take away the pain. After we had emptied the trailer, we visited the hospital and they said I had broken it in three places.
4. I thought I would help my mother re-arrange her kitchen. "I need to take that hanging cupboard down". So, while she and my wife were out, I decided to remove said cupboard. All the screws came out, no problem, but the bloody thing was still stuck to the wall, with paint! I turned round for my trusty hammer and as I turned back, gravity did the job for me. The corner of the cupboard hit my big toe and successfully broke it. I was in my 50s at the time but my Mum still has that maternal instinct. I told my wife, we need to go shopping right now. That was when I told her what dumb-ass thing I had done. We were on a long-haul flight two days from then...
5. Broke my neck jumping my mountain bike off a bridge. Didn't hit the ground properly and snapped my neck.

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#119

Well, I was at my dad's friend's birthday party. And these little... Monsters were calling me old. I of course did what a normal civilized person would do. I got on those little creep's bouncy house and I did a back flip to show them who was really the old one in this joint! I ended up breaking my ankle to show a bunch of nine year olds that I'm cool

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#120

I also had 3 pounds of frozen chicken taco meat fall on my big toe when I opened the freezer. IDK how, it just did.

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#121

I was playing with a knife in 1st grade and cut my hand below the thumb. The wound reopened while we were on a field trip to the library. I noticed a white stringy thing hanging out and decided to take things into my own hands, literally. I made my way to a desk where there was a cup full of office supplies. Before any adults saw what I was doing, there was blood everywhere, scissors in my right hand, and a chunk of tendon laying on the floor.

No one believed my story, not sure if they were even listening. They thought the wound was fresh and I used the scissors to cut myself. My parents told me the white stuff was pus, but pus doesn't feel like a little rope tugging on your bone.

Anyways, I seem to have full range of motion nowadays. There's still a funny looking scar on my left hand though.

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#122

On my radio show in San Diego in the Eighties, we (The Rich Brothers on B100FM) played Workin' for the Weekend every Friday morning. There were a few listeners dropping by the studios to watch us through the showcase window, so we all air-guitared and lip-synced the song. Once I was doing a Pete Townshend type guitar windmill move and slashed my forearm on the ceiling light fixture. At the ER it was embarrassing when they asked, "how did the injury occur?" Uh, air guitaring.

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#123

I sliced my ass cheek open drying a butcher knife off by swiping it against the butcher’s coat I was wearing. Not so badly, but it cut thru the coat and my jeans!!

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#124

when I was three I kicked a cactus. didn't go to the ER then... mom picked out every tine

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#125

I had a small garden with a 1ft PICKET fence around it. I asked my husband to cut out a gate. "WHY!" he says, "It's only 1ft step over it." Now I'd agree except I'm accident prone and this kinda made me think. So one day I was going to pull weeds and get some ripe vegs. I went to the garden and stepped over as my husband had instructed. I first stepped over with my left leg, slid alittle in some damp (dewy) grass and down I went. Now one leg is over remember. I laid my other leg down on the picket... I yelled for someone to help, no one came and I was stuck. No where to go. The post was in my knee. So I didn't what we all know NOT TO DO, and I pulled it out. and with the flesh hanging down my leg went into the house for help. After getting to the ER and learning how good it was. The picket went in on the left side of my leg and all the way in to my knee bone. I suffered a bone infection and a total of 35 sutures. The next day my husband cut a gate in the fence. SMH

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#126

Turning around. I turned around to walk the other way and my right knee didn't follow, dislocated it really badly.

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#127

I (43M) skateboarded for 20+ years, well over a hundred stitches, 16 broken bones, & 3 ligament surgeries, but I had fun so it was worth it. My weirdest injury was technically my first piercing, I was 12 and playing in a river slipped on a slimy rock and a stick went through my lower left leg. It was about the size of a AA battery, but really long and I was stuck. A friend had to break it off before we could go to shore and pull it out. My uncles joke that it was my "manliest" piercing.

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#128

I'm known for being the accident prone one in the family. Some of my highlights include:

- When I was 3 or 4, I was standing on top of the toilet to look in the bathroom mirror. I slipped on the lid, causing me to fall and hit my chin on the top of the toilet and split my chin open. We did not go to the party that night.

- A couple years after the toilet incident, I fell out of the car and hit my chin on the curb, splitting it open again. We did not have dinner that night.

- I was hit in the face with the spike of a wrought iron fence. I forever blame my dad for this. I pushed the gate open. He called my name, so I looked back to answer him. When I turned forward again, it was in time for the gate to swing back and hit me in the face and split open my eyebrow.

- I ruptured both ear drums on my first jump while cliff jumping.

- I was attacked by a feral cat. He climbed my face and took a chunk out of the back of my head and bit and scratched my face and arms. The dean of my school excused me from classes that week when he saw me walking around with my boyfriend to take notes for me in classes because my arms and hands were so bandaged. This was also 4 months after the ear drum incident...

- I just recently fell while pushing a luggage cart while away for a girls weekend, cutting up my knee and hurting my hand.

I need a bubble...

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#129

I have a scar on my left hand near my thumb. And the short version is that I stabbed myself in my hand because I got scared of a bee that I thought was attacking me. 😬

I also have a v-shaped scar on my leg because stupid me wanted to not have so long hair on my legs but also didn't want to shave them. So i got a scissor and wanted to cut the hairs on my leg but by the first cut I cut into the flesh as well. Was too embarrassed to tell my bf what had happened but he guessed it and... well, I was still embarrassed about it.

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#130

Just today, I was tying my shoes. I accidentally yanked too hard, let go of the shoelace, and managed to hit myself in the eye. Nothing serious but hurt like hell

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#131

also once when i was younger we were playing go home stay home and i sprinted to the home area btw we awere playing inside and i hit my head on a pole near the home area and i had to get stiches in my head

there was a lot of blood

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#132

My church does has a youth group, and we meet once a week to do fun activities, and one fall we decided to go ice blocking, where you sit on a big piece of ice and go down a hill. No snow, just the grass. Well I was going down one time, and got some real speed. As I was about to get to the bottom, I hit a hard patch of grass and went flying. I landed hard on my right shoulder. At first I couldn’t feel much pain, and could move my arm/shoulder fine. I didn’t go down the hill again though, and I had the feeling something was really wrong. About 30 minutes later I was in tears and couldn’t move my right arm at all. My mom comes to pick me up and we go to the ER for x-rays. Turns out I snapped my collar bone and will probably have to get surgery since it’s so displaced. Two days later I get the surgery and am out of school for the rest of the week. I’m back in school after our fall break, but still have to wear a sling. 5-6 months later I’m still recovering and can’t wear a backpack on my right shoulder.

Ice blocking is fun and I would do it again but don’t go on a steep hill like I did because then this might be your fate.

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#133

I was younger and really liked rollerblading. One day I was skating around and I saw a nice cul-de-sac with a steeply sloping hill. I went down and hit a tree really fast. One of the lower branches poked my eye and I wear glasses to this day.

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#134

Once I went to my sisters to go swimming. Her swimming pool is bean shaped and the right side is shallow and the left side is about seven foot deep. My two nephews and my niece wanted to know how to do a jackknife into the swimming pool. They had shown me lots of stunts. So I get up on the edge of the pool and perfectly execute the jackknife in the air. But in the air, I turned right instead of left and landed in the shallow end. I was planning to land in the deep end so had my knees locked. But because I landed in three feet of water instead of seven feet, I landed so hard I broke both my heels and my back and had to be dragged out of the pool because I couldn’t swim because I was in shock. I spent three months in a wheelchair and had surgery to reconstruct my heel bone and then months of physical therapy - but I can walk again now within limits. But that serious of an injury was the result of a jump I’d done hundreds of times before.

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#135

I went on a field trip with my daughter's fourth grade class, and we had to take a ferry to get to the place we were going. So half of us were out on the back deck, when all the kids started excitedly screaming, 'There's a squid, a squid!' I had never seen one alive in it's natural environment before, so I didn't want to miss it, despite the little voice inside my head telling me that squid only inhabit deep water, and certainly don't come to the surface and wave a friendly tentacle at noisy school kids. The deck we were gathered on was pretty small and cluttered, with kids and parents, a couple of plastic chairs, and unfortunately, for some reason, a long, thick coil of rope someone had left there, which I didn't see until it was too late. So I'm trying to hustle over to the side of boat where the kids were looking over the edge, and my foot caught on the unfortunate coil of rope, and in front of all the parents, I fell flat on my face. This particular ferry was owned and operated by a tour service that made the trip to the island and back a couple of times a day. They served snacks and had various beers and wines as well. So the other parents are all out there with their drinks of choice, and I just knew that they all thought I had had one too many and couldn't hold my liquor, when in fact, I don't drink at all because I just don't like the taste, and it is impossible for me to get drunk or tipsy. I just get nauseated and develope a bad headache. So they are looking at me dubiously, and half-heartedly asking me if I'm ok as I'm trying to get free of the wretched rope that is now wrapped around my shoe holding me captive. No one came over to help me get up. Not the dads gathered to one side of the bòat with their drinks, or the moms demurly sipping their's from the deck chairs. I limped through the rest of the trip, doing my best not to look sloshed, which I wasn't, just terribly clumsy. And the gregarious sea creature? Not a squid. Just a long length of sea-weed lost at sea.

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#136

Ending my shift at a nearby restaurant I work at. Time to break down an empty box of empty potato chips. Instead of doing it the sensible way I decided crush it with my butt in front of my coworkers. Instead of just falling back, This time I jumped and threw out my legs in front of me. I crushed the box. One of the guys remarked that it looked like it hurt. Not so much, really, but there was something with my leg. I go in the back to clock out, check under my sweat pants, and there was a three inch triangular flesh wound on my calf where my leg had caught the corner of this cardboard box. I live really close to work so ten minutes later I was in the shower and cleaning up my leg. Afterwards I spent twenty minutes taping my leg back together with about two feet of bandage tape as best I could. Left it that way for a little over a week. No infection thankfully. Would have been an expensive one hour in the ER without insurance at the time. Four months later it had fully healed.

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#137

Ending my shift at a nearby restaurant I work at. Time to break down an empty box of empty potato chips. Instead of doing it the sensible way I decided crush it with my butt in front of my coworkers. Instead of just falling back, This time I jumped and threw out my legs in front of me. I crushed the box. One of the guys remarked that it looked like it hurt. Not so much, really, but there was something with my leg. I go in the back to clock out, check under my sweat pants, and there was a three inch triangular flesh wound on my calf where my leg had caught the corner of this cardboard box. I live really close to work so ten minutes later I was in the shower and cleaning up my leg. Afterwards I spent twenty minutes taping my leg back together with about two feet of bandage tape as best I could. Left it that way for a little over a week. No infection thankfully. Would have been an expensive one hour in the ER without insurance at the time. Four months later it had fully healed.

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#138

i was a curious kid
1. Had my tongue stuck to the steel surface of the freezer when i was trying to lick off the ice from one of the ancient refrigerators that we used to have back in the 90s
2. Snorted in lemon seeds to see if i can inhale it till it reaches my stomach
3. Those injuries from using retractable measuring tapes
4. Riding down the bicycle from the top of a hill
5. Running to catch a kite with eyes fixated on the sky

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#139

I cut my thumb while using a "child proof" bread cutter turning the crank myself. @_@

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#140

I stepped onto what looked like solid ground but was really a hole 18" deep, filled with water with leaves floating on top. That part was OK but my husband "helped" by pulling me up one way while I was already moving the other way. Tore the meniscus, needed surgery to repair.

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#141

In high school I wanted to get a half-burnt candle out of a small glass jar so I could use it for something else. Was cutting away at the wax with a sharp knife - slid it between the wax and the glass wall while holding jar in my hand. Yep, broke the jar and forced the knife point first into the palm of my own hand.

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#142

A bit late but here's my answer. Okay so basically, I played volleyball for my middle school team in 7th grade. We were headed to a game about 3 weeks before the season ended and I was walking in to do warm up. Now, to get to my court, I had to go past another court with yet another game happening. I was speed walking to my court but had to stop abruptly because someone was serving and its kind of a common courtesy at that point. A big part of this is that the floors were weird and the actual courts had plastic tile and the rest of the floor was concrete. Continuing on, I stopped and somehow tripped while walking and stopping along the edge between the concrete and tile. Basically what i did was a really bad rolling of an ankle, how you fall on the side of your foot. When I tripped, there wasn't anyone around but at that moment i was like "oh crap i cant walk" as i was walking into the game. I started warmups in EXTREME pain, and then my mom and coach came in. My coach immediately understood when I said I couldn't play, but my mom literally told me to walk it off. I ended up sitting the game out and still not being able to walk the next day. I stayed at home, and then went to the doctor. Apparently, I had a fracture in my leg because I tripped on the floor. And my mom told me to walk it off. I had to be in this really dumb cast for two weeks and a brace for about a month. Overall the only bone I've ever broken, but it was a really dumb reason.

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#143

While I was out trimming a flowering hedge, with an electric hedge trimmer, I sneezed. Said hedge trimmer flew around and snagged my shorts and bit my butt. Looked like a vampire got me, LOL!

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#144

I was 4 waiting with my family for our cat at O’Hare Airport live cargo pickup. I, being 4, was dancing and twirling in middle of the waiting room, not making noise or bothering anyone so no one cared. Slipped on a small spill of water and cracked open my chin on the linoleum. No bone damage but 27 stitches for a 2” gash. I was so good during the stitching I got, not one, but three lollipops. Gave one to my older sister.

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#145

Sorry, but more weird. Building models in design school. My cutting board slipped it’s clamps and directed the utility knife to my thigh. There was a 1” cut in my jeans so …. Folded clean toilet paper, duct tape, and back to work.

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#146

When I was 14, I grabbed a non electric pan but it shocked me so hard it fractured my pinky

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#147

In grade school, there were the old metal chain swings in the play yard. The favorite swing was the one with potholes worn in the asphalt, called them "the brakes". I lucked out and got to use that swing during recess, the bell rang and I stuck out my feet to slow myself down but my right foot got caught in the pothole, instant pain as it was twisted to the right. Everyone around me was running to the classrooms, no one noticed that I was crying in the swing, except Janey, who most of the class ignored as she was very poor and her mom was the town ho. She came and helped me hobble back to class and my seat. I got involved with classwork until there was an unexpected fire drill, which made me jump up out of my seat to file out but instead fell down to the floor in agony. My teacher had to carry me to the nurse's office, they called my mom who came to pick me up but instead of taking me to the doctor, took me home, berating me for interrupting her day so I could "fake it" and go home. I spent over a week crawling around the house as I couldn't put any weight on my right leg, eventually it sorta went back into place but since that accident I have had all sorts of trouble with my right leg. Sometimes just standing and the leg would go out and I'd be on the ground, tho the best was when I was starting to go down a set of stairs at a friend's apartment and my leg "disappeared" and as I started to fall headfirst, knew I was going to die but somehow managed to flip over and slid down the stairs on my back, just bruises on my back and a small knick on my knee. As an adult, I finally had the leg x-rayed, they could see a twist to my femur....and my mom just laughs about it still, when she could easily have taken me to the doctor as my dad had great insurance thru his union and it wouldn't have cost anything. But she hates doctors and decided I was faking the injury for attention. My hip still pops occasionally, even after all these years it makes me so mad that she refused to get me any treatment.

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#148

This happened to my boss...He was 90 at the time and we didn't know that he was starting to have problems with dementia. He had blown the transmission on his old MBZ, so went to the dealer and bought a new 2016. One evening he decided to take his girlfriend out to dinner downtown, drove to the town parking lot and got out to open her door.
Here's where the dementia came in...the new MBZ had changed the shift pattern for the car. He had put the lever up to what on his old car would have been park, but the new shift pattern was R - N - D and park is a small button on the end of the shift lever (there is a small print "shift" on the lever but the steering wheel is so thick (with all the extra buttons for phone, cruise control and information guides for the car). so its hard to see if the wheel isn't straight.
And the car wasn't shut off, he left it on as he forgot to push the button.
So as he got out of the car, it slowly started to reverse and the door hit him and knocked him down to the ground. His girlfriend quickly shut the car off, so it didn't run over him. People in the parking lot ran over and helped him up and offered to call 911 but he refused, saying he was fine, just a sprain, and they walked across the street and had their dinner out, then walked back to the car, drove home and went to bed.
I am his estate manager and have an apartment in the back of his house, the next morning the girlfriend was knocking on my door and telling me that he had an issue with his foot and I needed to come help him.
His ankle was swollen up immensely, I told him we needed to get medical care but he refused. Said it was just a sprain and "do something". So I got some ace bandages and wrapped his ankle, propped his foot up and got some ice packs and a heating pad out and alternated heat and cold. He took a couple of ibuprofen and said it felt better tho later in the day he said he needed help to get to the bathroom as he couldn't put any weight on that foot. A nearby thrift store always has an abundance of old walkers in their basement, so I went there and found a pretty new one with tennis balls on the legs and all for $5, so I bought it and took it back to him so he could get into the bathroom. The next day, the swelling wasn't so bad but he still couldn't walk on it but again, refused to go to Urgent Care. The third day I finally got his son on the phone, he made an appointment for him for later that day and told his dad he had to go. As soon as I got him in, they x-rayed his leg and found he had broken his ankle in 2 places. But the bones hadn't shifted, as I had securely wrapped his leg. They put him into a walking boot and the next day I took him to an orthopedic surgeon, who again noticed that the bones hadn't shifted and put him into a cast. To this day, he insists that his girlfriend ran him over....needless to say, he had his keys taken away from him and wasn't allowed to drive again. Unfortunately, the dementia has progressed (his girlfriend passed away the next year) but he's turning 98 next month and is darn healthy for his age. Just takes a few vitamins, no major meds.

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#149

Accidentally sticking my first two fingers of my right hand in the hot oil fry vat. I had a pair of tongs in my hand going after a hashbrown that fell out of the frying rack. My fingers almost started blistering immediately.

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#150

When I was 11 We lived in a semi detached house where the living room window overlooked the back garden. We also had a dog, Sam, who would go into the back garden then behind the shed, squeeze underneath the hedge, through the the neighbour's garden and then go wandering. This was OK (sort of) where we lived before but now we lived near a busy main road and it was dangerous as he had little road sense.
This particular day Mum asked me to keep an eye on Sam as he went in the garden. I was staying in the living room as I was watching the TV. I looked out and I couldn't see him. I opened the window to call him but he didn't come so I leaned out to try and see him and over balanced and fell out of the window. I broke 2 bones in my right arm, pulled several ligaments and dislocated my elbow and my shoulder. I only fell about 3 feet. This was just about a couple of weeks before we were all due to go to Dublin for my sister's 21st Birthday. My mother had made me a dress for the occasion and had to remake the right sleeve so it would fit over my plaster cast. I had a blast though having everyone sign my cast though. I even went back to my old school as I had recently moved away and had all my old friends sign it too, so it wasn't all bad.

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#151

I swallowed a 10p coin and had to be rushed to A&E. You're probably thinking I was quite young. No, I was 14 at the time.
It was back before mobile phones were really common place and I had the 10p to ring my parents when I needed picking up. Before she'd let me out the car my mum insisted that I zip up my coat. So, juggling all my stuff, I put the 10p in my mouth while I did my coat up. The zip was really sticky so when it finally came free I accidentally punched myself in the chin, making me swallow the 10p.
Many hours and an operation later, the 10p was removed and it's now framed on my wall at home. In a pink fluffy frame.

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#152

I broke a finger playing Foosball. That's it, nothing harrowing, just plain stupid.

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#153

I got run over by an ATV because of a crippled dog. My cousins had their 4-wheeler (the ATV) on and in reverse, which I didn't know at the time. I was walking behind the ATV when the dog crawled in. This dog had a broken leg at the time and no one really knew why but I thought that added to the weirdness. She accidentally stepped on the gas pedal and the ATV went flying into me, and the dog was fine.

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#154

fourth grade. i was doing a cartwheel and it made my left elbow hurt. luckily i'm right handed, so i just didn't bend my left arm for the rest of the school day. i get home and hug my mom, in doing so i accidently bend my arm. excruciating pain. hospital trip. i got laughing gas which made me feel like i forgot my bottom half. (we live in canada so we didn't have to pay for the visit)
2ish weeks later-
we get a call from the hospital saying that they found a bone chip that separated from my bone in the x-ray that they missed because it was so small.
it's still in my arm just floating around in there because it was so small that they thought that it might be worse if they tried to remove it.
that's the closest i have been to breaking a bone.

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#155

1. Marching in marching band. I was a member of the University of Michigan marching band. My first year, because we did a "high-step" style of marching, I got shin splints in BOTH legs! Went to lunch on our break with my friends. Got up to make a phone call (yes, at a pay phone), took 2 steps and fell.

2. Running to catch a bus, tore my tendon down the center of my right foot AND fractured my 2 small toes. :/

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#156

Tried over a television cord when I was a year and a half. Broke my femur vertically (split it).

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#157

I managed to cut my finger with a tiny piece of glass while wiping eraser dust off of my paper. Like literally, it was tiny, and my hand didn't even get off the paper. This was because of a broken test tube in chemistry class. I actually got pricked, unwittingly, by a tiny piece of glass that somehow got on my paper. I cannot emphasize how weird that is.

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#158

2nd day of working at home due to Covid. I had asked my husband to move my desk to the loft upstairs. He told me that I won’t like it, that it was hot upstairs with all the big windows. I insisted- all that beautiful natural light-outside views.. I had him move my desk upstairs. I moved everything else. About 9am the next morning, I was dying- so hot, so bright!! I called and begged him to move it back. Yes, you were right. I was wrong - conversation ensued. He promised me he come home during lunch to move the desk back. He didn’t, felt that I could wait till he got home. So in anger, I moved the huge desk down our spiral staircase. Exhausted, I hook everything back up. Take a phone call. My dog started barking, wanting to go outside. I mute the phone really quick and bang on the screendoor to let the critters and squirrels know I was letting the beast out. Saw a couple of squirrels hightail it up a tree, let the dog out. Well, one fat squirrel was too busy munching on loquats and didn’t hear me. I unmute the phone and my dog goes straight for the squirrel. The squirrel starts screaming and I hang up on the person and wrestle the squirrel from my dog’s mouth. The squirrel is flying in the air as my dog and I fight for ownership. Triumphantly, I get the squirrel. The squirrel bites down on my hand and rips a chunk of flesh out! I start screaming and I had to fight my instinct to fling the squirrel into my waiting dog’s mouth. I put the squirrel on a tree. I then realize the squirrel is paralyzed from the waist down.. as it drags its body up the tree. I wrangle my dog inside. I call my husband and tell him that I am bleeding pretty bad. He immediately thinks I fell bringing the desk down.. then I tell him I got bit by a squirrel.. he couldn’t stop laughing.. saying wtf!! This is why your boss didn’t want you to work from home! This is still one of his favorite story tell.. how his wife got bit by a squirrel on her 2nd day of working at home.
Side note: The squirrel didn’t die, it would drag its body across the trees and fence line..I felt so bad and ended up building him a feeding trough and filling it with squirrel food for 2 months. He disappeared after that.. we named him Lt. Dan.

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#159

I still have the scar left by the steel fangs of a terrible monster known as the Stapler in the Night... specifically when I was digging around for a pencil and a loose staple embedded itself in my hand.

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