I obviously didn’t hear the whole thing but I was at dinner about a year ago with my family. There was a couple sitting at the next table over talking about their child. They were trying to come up with a plan to make the kid listen to them, and have better behavior, and the woman said something along the lines of, “Harold, we’re obviously not raising him right if he wants to sleep in the dumpster.”

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Final score:

31points

max martin (they/them)

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My mom was not the most kind woman but my dad loved her and treated her like the queen she thought she was for more than 54 years. She had been treating everyone badly for a couple of days. I was getting ready to knock on their closed bedroom door. I heard the tone in which my dad was talking to my mom, just a bit lower and slower than normal which stopped me from knocking. My dad had never raised his voice or was abusive to her in any way. I heard him tell her that she was being a World Class Bitch to everyone and she needed to knock it off. I was then expecting her to lose her s**t as she did over anything she perceived as a slight. No blow up. Nothing. After a couple of minutes of silence she told him she was sorry and I was stunned. I ended up not knocking on the door and walked away with the biggest grin on my face. My dad rocked that day!!!! I might add I was in my forties and visiting when this happened.

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Final score:

27points

PicnicsEverywhere

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An elderly couple were walking past my porch. She "Did you just fart?" He "I certainly hope so."

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Final score:

24points

Dana Kullmann

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Took a walk around the harbour, watched a young couple kneeling over a tiny RC boat, with tweezers and handkerchiefs aside. Then he said with disbelief "You don't really want to fix that leak with my gummy bears, do you?"
A few minutes later I saw the boat jumping in the waves and dodging the ducks, so apparently she did.

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Final score:

22points

Caridina

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I have 2...
1) I overheard my dad talking to my mom about work(Campbell soup), and he said that a while ago(1970-1980) a man got is arm stuck in a mixer thingy and he got pulled in. He said they only noticed when the noodles started coming out red...

2) My grandma was talking to my mom after my grandpa died in the night, she said "I realized that he was gone when his hand went limp since we always hold hands during the night"😢😢😢

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Final score:

22points

Cat Nip Gal

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When I was a kid, my dad's parents had come over for dinner. I was in the other room when I heard my dad yell "THAT'S NOT HOW YOU SLICE THE BUTTER BARBARA!" My grandma yelled back "WELL IT'S EASIER TO FIT IT IN MY POTATO YOU UPTIGHT BABOON!" (Later I found out that my grandma had sliced the top off the whole stick of butter 𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘇𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆)

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Final score:

15points

juice

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One time whilst walking down a hallway at school I heard," I don't care if you're sister's hot! That's still Incest!" Yeahhhh i don't even want to know

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Final score:

15points

Dalisia Bramasco

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Was hiking and heard this woman saying that her hair was very scrappy and mean. She looked like she was going to cry. Then her friend said that it looked like very nice and ecstatic hair. Weirdest part, the first woman opened her purse, pulled out a stick of butter, and took a large bite.

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Final score:

14points

Opazi Marcha

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I overheard a conversation with my friends. It went like this.
"I bet we could bury a body in the long jump pit."
"Hmm true."
"The perfect place."
"What about the smell?"
"The perfect place."

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Final score:

14points

Princess Procrastination

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Ok, this is not exactly weird, but it's hilarious and makes me laugh every time.
This happened in microbiology class between our professor and a student, let's call him John.

So the professor asks
"Where can you find a Staphylococcus?"
*looks around in the clas* "John?"

John who was not paying attention to her and was completely absent-minded answers in a questional tone "In the city centre..."

Professor holds herself from laughing and asks on "So you will walk into a shop and order one?"
John snapped back to reality and everyone was laughing, the professor too.
🤣🤣🤣

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Final score:

13points

Mary

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I was in a bookstore once and I overheard a woman talking about her date to another woman and she said "He tried to touch my Snoopy." SNOOPY!?? I had to try so hard not to laugh!

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Final score:

12points

Katie Allen

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Two boomers at a Gilbert, AZ coffee house talking about how one was a neighbor of Amanda Blake (Miss Kitty from Gunsmoke, I think she lived in Scottsdale or Phoenix) in the 1960s. He thought her dog was making a weird noise so he looked over the fence. He was greeted by the big ole paws and face of a young African lion.

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Final score:

12points

DotC

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We live in a town that's pretty crowded and shady, and one night I woke up to what sounded like really angry shouting. I went to my window, expecting something scary, and heard:
"YOU CAN'T JUST EAT THE LAST PEICE OF PIE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!"
"OH YEAH WELL AT LEAST I DIDN'T NAME MY FKNG CAT DOG!"

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Final score:

12points

🦶

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So I was in my favorite pancake house. The lady behind me let’s call her Karen, came into the doors looking for a specific person. She sat down with a older man and basically started yelling because the man was hard of hearing. She said,” John I was thinkin’ if my son keeps killin the birds out in the yard, I might just have to lock him in the stupid dog’s cage for another week!!” At this point me and my family knew it was time to leave.

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Final score:

11points

hopie

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Another one that I have was I was on the Subway, and this guy was talking loudly about restaurant experiences. He said, “One time, I got a fake nail in my McDonald’s fries, but this other time I was on a date at Outback Steakhouse, and this lady behind us just died! Never been to Outback since.” And neither have I.

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Final score:

10points

max martin (they/them)

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I have 2, both happened while I was in high school.

1) I was in line in the cafeteria and I heard a girl tell her friend, "This stuff tastes like purple!" I didn't know that purple has a taste, but apparently it does.

2) I heard these two girls yelling at each other and then one said, "You wanna go right now?! Let's go right now! Right now! 3 O'clock after school!"

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Final score:

10points

Ian Bartels

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Mother bragging to her friend about her daughter, "She has a photogenic memory."

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Final score:

9points

Dana Kullmann

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once, in new orleans on christmas break, I went to cafe an overheard to ladies arguing over whether bananas ended in an e or an a. If anybody reading this knows how to spell, they would know it's neither.

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Final score:

8points

Lucy Gregory

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There was a dead pigeon on the sidewalk and a bunch of kids in grade 2 were surrounding it one of them said "you think it will fit in my lunchbox?" and the other said "no your going to have to cut it up"

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Final score:

8points

eli yete

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Was walking behind a mother with her toddler. Toddler picks something up and hands it to the mother. Mother goes -oh nice! Stick or stone?- Toddler answers -kaka- ...it was kaka...

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Final score:

8points

Jo

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once i was out side and i heard some kid say no barb pokemon are not in my little pony

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Final score:

7points

Tova Rafuse

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This did not happen to me, but a friend of mine. He was on a long-distance bus, almost an hour in. Right behind him, there were two young lads, nothing out of the ordinary. One of them in a super sweet cartoonish voice asked the other:
- Mommy, may I sing?
"Mommy", being the other lad, answered softly:
- Sing my baby bear, sing.
And he proceeded to silently and softly sing "oooh, ooh, oooo-oooh" imitating a cute tiny bear for an hour, until my friend got off the bus.

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Final score:

5points

Justina Palinavičiūtė

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Once a lady told me that her son has an illness. She didn't know how it was called but she said: it starts with an O.
I answered: obsesive compulsive disorder?
No, is was otism => Autism...

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Final score:

5points

Mieke Fabry

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Well, I overheard my sister coming out to her friend that she was lesbian... (I had know for a while, though)

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Final score:

4points

Eilis WILLDEN

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"that red polka dot scarf tasted like violets."

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Final score:

4points

Baking Cactus

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Was in line to return some stuff at Tar-jay one day when the woman in front of me was returning some bad cucumbers. The woman had to have been the most straight laced person I've ever seen and she was upset at the horrible taste of these cucumbers. She claimed that two of them were even still somewhat covered in mud. Well as her return was being processed, a girl of about 12-ish walked up looking SUPER sheepish at the site of those cucumbers. That's right little one... I know what you did.

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Final score:

4points

Kort G

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So I was in my favorite pancake house. The lady behind me let’s call her Karen, came into the doors looking for a specific person. She sat down with a older man and basically started yelling because the man was hard of hearing. She said,” John I was thinkin’ if my son keeps killin the birds out in the yard, I might just have to lock him in the stupid dog’s cage for another week!!” At this point me and my family knew it was time to leave.

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Final score:

3points

hopie

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I walked up to my sibling and their friend and I heard:
"Yeah, but a bus engine would be too heavy."
"Aw, I think I could hold it."

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Final score:

3points

Wolfowl

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I heard these two conversations on the same day in two very different shops. In the first shop I heard this young lad loudly say "Let's get out of here we've spent a (expletive) fortune". This was in Poundland! Right next to this shop is one of the more expensive supermarkets, Waitrose. An extremely posh women said to her friend "We were doing so well with Sherry glasses and then they all just seemed to break". I enjoyed the contrast.

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Final score:

2points

Martin Heston

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I am half Greek/half Brit so I can understand both languages.
I was riding a London bus and there were three people bashing a colleague in Greek, thinking that no one would understand what they were talking about.
They said a few bad things, nothing to write home about, until one of them looks the other two and says "and you know that he is a coprophiliac, right"?
I tried so hard to not burst out laughing.

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Final score:

1point

Thalia Lovering

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I was walking home from work one night and heard a guy on the phone to someone who was obviously his partner. He didn't see me approaching and as I've walked past all I heard was "Don't worry I won't take any viagra before I come home again" I burst out laughing announcing my presence and he looked absolutely mortified!

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Final score:

1point

Charlotte Brine

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So in Science this boy in front of me and my friend had his photos open and there was a picture of a purple ballerina. We asked him why and his friend said because she likes ballerinas. The weirdest thing was that the dude high five him and said 'nice you called me she'

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Final score:

1point

Princess Procrastination

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once i heard 2 people say that they couldnt believe that their parents had blocked youtube and all social media, they were both teenagers. 0.o

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Final score:

1point

Maryam Siddiqui

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Probably outside my school I heard a girl say "I did like have it. He was so CUTE. My parents were so MAD!! I only felt bad because they were so disappointed I was crying and crying and then while I was screaming "iM SUCH A BAD KID" I tripped and rolled down the stairs"

thats all i got sorry

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Final score:

0points

Lasagne I

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This was a few years ago...
So these 3 guys are hanging around our local pub and i avoid them (as any person who didn't want trouble would) and as i'm about to turn the corner a fight breaks out! The tallest guy has shoved over one of the other guys and is yelling at him (while kicking him), "Rainbows are cool! Rainbows are cool!" over and over again....

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Final score:

0points

Olivia Miller (Livie)

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My friend was staying at my house overnight and her mom called her to when we got home. She kept telling her mom about how these two girls in our grade were spying on her which I found a little weird considering that we were in sixth grade.

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Final score:

-1point

Mia Tucker

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I obviously didn’t hear the whole thing but I was at dinner about a year ago with my family. There was a couple sitting at the next table over talking about their child. They were trying to come up with a plan to make the kid listen to them, and have better behavior, and the woman said something along the lines of, “Harold, we’re obviously not raising him right if he wants to sleep in the dumpster.”

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Final score:

-2points

max martin (they/them)

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once i heard someone say that a year 6 girl was going out with a year 10

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Final score:

-4points

Fred and George Weasley

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