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Tell us about your most challenging moments; emotionally, physically, or mentally. Was it worth it?
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#1
Stopped a car from the passenger seat because the driver died while we were going down the road.
Stopping the car was hard, the hardest part was that the driver was my husband.
Final score:
52points
#2
I held my father's hand as he died, in May of 2021. I was the only one who stayed with him. My mom and sister "couldn't handle it" and they abandoned him around 8pm. I held his hand, talked to him, and listened to oldies music with him until he took his last breath at 3:17am. I told him it was okay to go, that he would finally be free of pain. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, and yet I am so happy I was able to be there with him.
Final score:
50points
#3
Elder care of my mother for 18 agonizing years.
Final score:
38points
Earl Grey (Submission author) 1 year ago (edited)
She was a survivor of both the Great Depression and World War II, which rendered her the most completely broken person I have ever known. The demands of the care itself broke me down early on as well, and hollowed out what would otherwise have been the most productive years of my professional career. And yet, it provided me with profound insights into the human condition that I would otherwise have never understood nor appreciated, and from that experience I think I emerged more completely human myself.
#4
Have a baby. The exhaustion is crippling.
Final score:
30points
#5
Standing up to my abusive stepfather. He was an alcoholic and an a*****e. It was scary as he was incredibly tall and physically intimidating. It made me ill and my mother never backed me on it (they stayed married) but I'm proud of myself
Final score:
30points
#6
Say my final farewells to my father. He passed after a lengthy battle with cancer. Next hardest is caring for my elderly mother.
Final score:
29points
#7
Severed contact with my ex -girlfriend/ best friend so she could move to the other side of the country without feeling tied down, after my mum died.... She needed to focus on her future not our past.....
Final score:
29points
#8
learn how to walk again after an 8 story fall that I somehow
credit goes to God though
Final score:
28points
#9
Going to the police about someone who was stealing and harassing me and attempting to blackmail me. He was becoming more and more dangerous and not letting up. I had gone before but the police didn't care/ didn't follow up which was demoralizing. But... I knew... I needed to make them listen so after almost 6months later I called them again and again until finally I talked to someone who saw how dangerous it was.
Previously I literally had an officer say "wow you must really be something to have a guy that into you, that's gotta count for something" after I showed them pictures he had sent of me in class earlier that day with a message about how he'd kill anyone who came near me... he wasn't a student at my university.
It to so long but-- having a police officer look at a mountain of insanity (100+ one-sided texts a day, emails, phone calls, photos, detailed descriptions of how he would kill me and my dog and best friend etc-- things I had the time before) and actually listen to me and take things as a credible threat and not just "teenaged drama" meant so much to me.
For him to be reprimanded (slap on the wrist but still)... i knew it was the right decision, I just wish they could have done it sooner, listened earlier and maybe I wouldn't have fallen apart as badly in the interim.
Final score:
24points
Hales M (Submission author) 1 year ago (edited)
Also-- for a little context-- between the first time i talked to them and the last time, he had gotten brazen enough that he had dragged me into an alley, slammed me into the bricks and wanted to have sex with me while holding me at knife point-- only thwarted by a pub having a camera in the alley and misreading the situation and telling us to go and me running like hell into the public square. Him cornering me on buses and squeezing me into inside seats and trying to feel me up, calling me a whore while showing photos taken from my bf's backyard of the back door being unlocked and my bf and I kissing-- essentially being like, if you make a sound I'll kill him and me... like barely 19, crying and trying to be quiet and terrified. Looking back... i don't know how i didn't break more than I did. I kept it a secret from so many-- i felt so much relief when he finally was arrested. Insane when you consider we dated for less than 4 months when I was 18-- it took until i was 22 until it was fully resolved and behind me with the last year and a half being court interactions.
#11
listening to my bestie tell me he wants to kill himself. He's alive.
Final score:
22points
lil bear bear (Submission author) 1 year ago
I had to talk him out of it.. I sent like 2 hours crying, running through all the resons why I cared for him, and begging him not to do it. By the end of the night we were both sobbing messes, he was shaking so much...... c**p now I'm crying again
#12
Having to have my heart dog euthanised. He collapsed and it was discovered he had a mass on his spleen. He was nearly 14 and it was doubtful he would have survived surgery, but I still regret to this day not giving him that chance. I thought I was doing the kindest thing for him but I miss him every single day. It's been 8 years and doesn't get any easier.
Final score:
21points
Riley77 1 year ago (edited)
I worked veterinary for years. there's a saying "quality of life vs. quantity of life". at 14, he would have had a hard time recovering from a major surgery like that. he would have been in pain. longer recovery. if the mass was cancerous, he would have been subjected to chemo, making him ill and hurt more. you saved him from that. Do not regret this decision which you made out of love. you did the right thing.❤️
#13
Sat with a woman as she held her toddler, as life support was terminated for the toddler is tied with holding up my own mom as my sister was pronounced dead. There's an abyss we see in those times that never stops staring back at us.
Final score:
21points
#14
Move myself somewhere I knew no one. Began building a life from the ground up because of an opioid addiction due to an autoimmune disease that makes my entire body hurt all day every day. I’m 3 years into this ordeal and it’s been by far the scariest thing I have ever done. I’m still sober. Growing every day and doing my best to learn to work with my body rather than against it.
Final score:
19points
#15
I have a gastric bypass. I used to be super morbidly obese. I'm a 5'34 foot in shoes shorty, my highest weight was about 385 lbs, BMI of 65.
The surgery was hard, getting everything approved by different doctors and professionals was hard, but the hardest part was realizing, accepting and admitting that I needed help and was going to die on my own. Deciding to tackle your emotional food addiction and having a perfectly healthy system crippled in order to live knowing you can never eat and drink normal again was extreme.
Final score:
18points
#16
Honestly, the hardest thing I have ever had to do is a long distance relationship. It absolutely destroys me every single day. I always feel heartbroken. I try to be happy and strong, but in reality I always breakdown and cry at night when I am alone. It just hurts so much. The pain results in anger and attitude, which doesn't help. I try to control my emotions, but sometimes the hurt and pain is overwhelming. I love the quote "I have never missed someone this much who I have not lost." It is totally worth it though. Long distance is temporary, but out relationship is forever.
Final score:
18points
lauralett50 1 year ago
Am currently in a fairly new long distance relationship. Went from friends to him proposing in less than 4 months . I'm thinking about it . We talk every day. It's hard to be with out him , I'm in America, he's in Europe. Timing is everything.
#17
Gotten a divorce because I was deeply unhappy. Changed careers EVERY time my disability doubles down on the new normal. Choosing kindness and hope in a frightening world
Final score:
18points
patricia patricia 1 year ago
"Choosing kindness and hope in a frightening world". That's beautiful and brave. I wish I had the strength and courage to choose as wisely.
#18
Letting my child live with her father.
We just got divorced, and he could provide a more stable environment than I could at the time.
It was tough, and unwanted comments from others made it worse. My favorite: "only bad people give up their children".
She's an adult now, and seeing the wonderful young lady she's become has convinced me more and more that I made the correct decision.
Final score:
17points
#19
Blood tests. I have to go to a hospital to have them every couple of months to check I’m doing ok and they FREAK ME OUT. The way my finger scrapes against the test tube to get the blood out…. Aughhh, no, just no. I always end up in tears, but one way or the other I end up doing it.
Final score:
16points
FlamingoPanda 1 year ago
Huge shoutout to you for keeping on doing it and looking after yourself despite how hard it is. Have you tried taking a plushie/soft toy with you to squeeze while you get the blood tests? That really helped me with my anxiety at the dentist.
#20
Say goodbye to my mom while she was put on life support because of a doctor's error.
Final score:
16points
#21
Deciding to leave the love of my life after 10 years together because I had spent 8 years of it dealing with his drug addiction, and trying everything in my power to help him.
I told him I loved him, but that it was time for me to love myself more.
He died due to that addiction 3 years later.
My decision still haunts me, but deep down, I know I made the right one.
Final score:
16points
April Dancer 1 year ago
In the end you had to save yourself. I can't begin to imagine how hard that must have been, but he was slowly dragging you down with him.
#22
Getting over depression & society anxiety. Seems like a never ending battle
Final score:
16points
#23
After showing up for work day after day after day for 20 years and realizing I had at least another 20 years of this. I had great jobs and was well paid but the sameness was appalling. Sticking it out was the hardest thing I've done.
Final score:
15points
#24
Tell my sons, 14y and 16y at the time that their mother had overdosed. She had been clean and went to therapy for 2 years just to get to see them again. She had about 3 visits with them then died due to fentanyl. Brutal.
Final score:
15points
#25
Being there for my mom after she tried to kill herself.
My dad called me around 3am one night. He told me to get a bottle of water and walk down to the lake by our house. I did that, and when I got there I found out that my mom had tried to drown herself. I think she was drunk, but I'm not really sure. I then had to sit with her for what was probably half an hour, but felt like a lot longer, while my dad walked back to our house and got the car. She kept talking about what a terrible person she was, and how she was a bad mom. She's a great mom, and it was really hard to sit there and listen to her.
I was 12 when this happened. I also later found out this was her 2nd attempted suicide, and my parents didn't tell me because they thought I was too young.
Final score:
15points
BoredPanther 1 year ago
So sorry for that, sending lots of hugs and praying to whoevers out there that she is fine now
#26
Sitting next to my wife of 30 years as she finally lost her battle with cancer. She was in hospital for a week and never regained consciousness but I sat with her all through each night and most of each day talking to her and holding her hand because I was determined that she wouldn't pass away alone.
Final score:
15points
tara 1 year ago
When my grandmother was dying of cancer, my grandfather would only visit for an hour or so at a time. She would cry and beg him to stay, but he wouldn't. He was busy making dating ads for the news paper so he could replace her, before she even died....... I wish he had of been half the husband you were, to your wife.
#27
Taking care of my elderly parents. Dad had a rough time moving in with me and by the second month didn't know who I was. I held his had as he took his last breath, 4 months to the day after he moved in with me. Now I care for my 98 yo mom who is naturally a very negative person. Zaps the happiness right out of you. Siblings don't visit her. My husband is handling this remarkably well. Mom is very healthy. Not sure how much more I can handle. :(
Final score:
14points
#28
I got my private pilot's license at 17 while I was a Jr. In highschool. The month leading up to it was hell... I had about three meltdowns because of the stress. I remember at one point I was sobbing in my car because it rained and I didn't have to practice that day. I got a part-time job so I could pay for a good portion of it on my own, so for most of my Jr. Year I was working, doing school, then flying. It was a lot considering I'd been a major couch potato for the past however long.
All this said, it was totally worth it. I love flying. I've had my license for almost a year now, and while I don't fly near enough (because I'm trying to finish HS strong and other stuff) I love flying. It's an escape from the problems on the ground that I really need sometimes. 10/10 would recommend.
Right now tho the hardest thing is choosing a major, a college, and a careers. I'm on of thoes annoying people who would be great at almost anything... Too many options so it's heka stressful and I'm too scared to actually start moving. Second semester right now and I haven't done much past ACT and SAT. Hopefully I can get something figured out but this is one of the scariest things I've ever done
Final score:
13points
FlamingoPanda 1 year ago
Go you! A friend of mine joined the army (quite different here in South Africa to some places) to learn to fly and when he gets out he wants to do chartered safari flights for a living. There are always many options but never be scared to change careers or change course, even midway through a degree. I started out with a degree in chemistry and now am a software developer. :) You can do it!
#29
Telling my daughter she's an alcoholic. I didn't know how she would react. I was scared that she would cut me out of her life. That she wouldn't get the help that she needed. But she did. She went to detox. She's fallen off the wagon once. But after a month of her drinking she came to me and asked for help. She's on the right path. I keep telling her that she's not in trouble. I hate seeing her feeling ashamed of herself. I'm going to go call her right now 🥰
Final score:
13points
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
Alcoholism is hell to deal with because drinking is socially acceptable so no-one really notices it, except the family. And when you try get them off the drug they protest that it's just a drink and not a drug and they do not need professional help yadda. And how dare you criticise their life choices. Meantime it is far more dangerous than MJ or Shrooms.
Pyradox (Submission author) 1 year ago
Exactly. There's so many triggers. Holidays, special occasions, funerals. Thanks for the understanding.
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Legless_snake 1 year ago
Im so glad that I could cause you to connect with someone. That makes me happy
#30
Having to watch my dog get euthanised this past summer. I stroked her head the entire time until i heard her final breath. Its only been a couple months but its so painful each time i see her leash and collar, which i have saved. She wore that leash and collar for as long as i can remember and hold many memories for me. RIP Lilly Grace
Final score:
12points
#31
Held my mother's hand as she was dying and physically feeling the exact moment she was gone .
Final score:
12points
#32
My daughter almost died at 10 years old from an allergic reaction to a OTC pain reliever she had taken all her life. She spent 4 weeks in a burn unit because she lost 70% of her skin. It affected all of her mucosa membranes, inside of her body, eyes, mouth, lips...everything. The stem cells in her left eye were destroyed. She had to have eye drops every 2 hours. The eye drops were excruciating for her. It took several people to hold her down. The hardest thing I've ever done? Holding her head still so they could administer these eye drops while she begged me to help her. Wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.
Final score:
12points
#33
Handing my infant daughter to rescuers in a boat after we had gotten trapped in flooding. The flood had submerged most of the first floor of our house in water, and the only way for my kids to get to safety was handing them to the rescuer's boat from the 2nd floor balcony. This all happened in the pouring rain. I'm glad she was only 3 months old and probably doesn't remember it- for my wife and I it was an absolute nightmare.
Final score:
11points
#34
Putting up my 2 year old daughter and 1 year old son for adoption 31 years ago.
Final score:
11points
#35
Got clean after years of drug use
Final score:
9points
Tessa Dawn (Submission author) 1 year ago
I had been a drug addict for roughly 14 years. Lived on the streets of Toronto, and did whatever I could to get a fix. Saw some of the most messed up stuff I'd ever seen on those streets. Thankfully, I had an amazing support system, to hold me up, until I could do it on my own. I just celebrated 15 years clean, and could not be more thankful
#36
I lived with and drank alcohol from about 3 years old with my dad. I drank dependently at 15 and drank consistently at 18. The hardest thing I have ever done or will ever do was to stop my full fledged alcoholic drinking at age 40. It was the best gift of life I could ever imagine. I turn 70 in two weeks. Everyday, I thank God for giving me the desire to stop drinking on that day in November of 1993. It was a miracle, I ask for that miracle in June. That’s all I knew to do, it was the hardest and bravest thing I’ve ever done.
Final score:
9points
#37
Having to tell my students that another teacher (much beloved and a colleague of mine for 20+ years) had died of Covid. We all knew his kids also because they also attended our high school.
Final score:
7points
#38
Watching my daughter go through 2 craniotomies and 33 rounds of radiation for ependymoma (brain cancer) when she was barely 3. With all she went through, she ended up being my rock for most of it. She went through a lot of pain, still terrified of needles at age 18, and has lasting difficulties due to the damage to her brain. But I only had 3 nervous breakdowns through the whole thing, and never in front of her. Every time I thought I'd break she'd do something very strange, like scare the hell out of the ICU nurse who didn't believe me when I said she could easily climb out of the crib. Or take the leads from the nurse and try to hook herself up to the machines before her radiation. Or the time she got mad someone else's radiation appointment was running late and disappeared. Nurse caught her just as she was heading for the treatment room and had to put us in a different area and block the door. At 3 years old she had a heck of an attitude. But it amused the nurses to no end after having so many terrified little ones to have one that asked so many questions and wanted to be involved. One nurse even joked they were waiting for her to try to draw her own meds!
Final score:
7points
#39
Telling my boyfriend's 6 yr old son that his dad was going to be taken off of life support.
Final score:
7points
#40
Fighting cancer. It was emotionally and physically exhausting. I was scared that I might die, and the surgery, chemo and radiation all in 9 months was so hard on my body. I remember explaining the fatigue to mom this way. You are sitting in your chair. There is a glass of water on the table by you, and you are thirsty. You can't summon the energy to pick it up. My pastor said that he had days where just lying on the couch watching the wall tired him out when he was fighting his.
Good news, 6 years later I have no signs of a reoccurrence. I'm still dealing with some of the effects of the treatments, but overall am doing well.
Final score:
7points
#41
Write the Eulogy for my son when he passed.
Final score:
7points
#42
Final score:
6points
Jaaawn (Submission author) 1 year ago (edited)
Not sure where mine has disappeared to but I'll answer again- My job- palliative care. Looking after someone and really getting to know them, caring for them and making sure they are as comfortable and content as they can possibly be as their life draws to a close.
#43
Having to watch my dog get euthanised this past summer. I stroked her head the entire time until i heard her final breath. Its only been a couple months but its so painful each time i see her leash and collar, which i have saved. She wore that leash and collar for as long as i can remember and hold many memories for me. RIP Lilly Grace
Final score:
6points
#44
The hardest thing was having to tell my then three year old daughter that her mother had just died.
Final score:
6points
#45
1.My performance anxiety, even with though I always pass
2.Having to explain to my narcissistic best friend I could have other friends. We are only friends because she knows a lot about me, so I am scared of blackmail. My depression and anxiety (mostly) comes from her.
Final score:
6points
ShockSandSniper_ 1 year ago (edited)
You should whack your ’’friend’’ on the head. hard. perhaps with a brick if your up to it.
#46
I've struggled with endogenous depression all my adult life (undiagnosed until 1998) so life itself is full of painful challenges. I've emigrated with my family to Australia from New Zealand, worked for decades in toxic working environments, been targeted and bullied in same (by management) and then resigned so I could nurse my father until he died. No one really enjoys being that intimate with an incontinent parent, but I loved him and wanted the best for him. I can't pick any one of these and say it was the hardest. They all seemed like worst at the time. Kudos to all those who grapple with depression and win a few bouts. And even if you lose a few, you still gain something. Just forgive yourself and know that you are loved, loved just as you are. Arohanui.
Final score:
5points
#47
Wife and I divorced after she decided she wanted to have kids. I knew I would never want kids (30 years later and I still feel the same, she has 3 kids). There were no other issues. Yes, we fully discussed prior to 5 year marriage. She changed her mind.
Final score:
5points
#48
You don't really want to hear this, but you asked. I kneeled down to quiet a dog chained in the back yard, and didn't realize my best little friend, a tiny kitten with an attitude, was trotting along at my heels. He came right up between my feet and the Shepherd chomped him. It all happened so quick. He was all broken inside. I had to yell "Tammy get a bucket." And I had to drown my best friend. Didn't stop to think at all, I knew what had happened and the longer he was alive, the greater his suffering. I didn't start to shake until well after the incident was over.
Final score:
5points
#49
Raising a child with adhd and autism as a single mother while dealing with cptss, therapy and building up my own live. I left my sons dad when I found out I was pregnant because he was very abusive and I was scared he would do something to me while pregnant and I didn't want that kind of life for my child. My family lives 3 hours away so I did most of it alone. It is the most hardest, exausting time of my life but also the most beautifull and full of love. Also the misunderstanding from other people doesn't make it easier.
Final score:
5points
mcborge1 1 year ago
I fully believe you when you when you say it was hard and exausting! I raised my daughter on my own, she has ADHD and Autism too so I know how exactly what it's like. We lost her mother when my daughter was three to cancer so for the first three years of being a dad I was a carer to her mother too and yes it was really tough. My daughter is 29 now and i'm still her full time carer. not everyone gets to pick a path in life, sometimes life picks a path for you. I hope you and your son are doing well. :)
#50
Having to tell my sister that I was taking her home the next day from the hospital to die as there was nothing more the doctors could do. She had just turned 49. She died a month later from cancer. In a little more than a year, my sister, brother, mom and dad all died from cancer.
Final score:
5points
#51
I always said that all of my life my Dad carried me... I got to carry him as a pallbearer at his funeral.
Final score:
5points
#52
Going through a tear gas chamber in Navy basic training. I had to take off my gas mask and take a breath of the gas before I exited. It was agony.
Ironically, when I joined the Army fourteen years later, I was one of the people that actually ran the chambers and gained quite a tolerance for the gas and would do entire exercises without the mask on...
Final score:
4points
#53
Have to leave my marriage due to abuse and then be too old to date again.
Final score:
4points
#54
At the end of their lives, when they were half in and half out of this part of their journey, I assisted both of my parents' departure from their pain and misery. It was definitely the hardest thing I've ever done
Final score:
4points
#55
Accept the fact that I’m going to get so muscular I’ll be competing against the Greek Gods.
And I’ll do my best to lose my weight.
Final score:
3points
#56
- come out
-break up with toxic long-term girlfriend
- live 11 years without support (im 12 and now have some friends
Final score:
3points
#57
Pulling myself from trying to commit suicide on more than one occasion. The thoughts still creep in my head sometimes but I've gotten strong enough mentally to fight them off. I have to keep telling myself that it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Final score:
3points
#58
I took my 19 year old sweet kitty, Mini to the vet to send her on to the Rainbow Bridge. 😿
Final score:
3points
#59
Weight Loss Surgery. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. Some people see it as the easy way out. I went through a year of classes, had to lose some weight ahead of the surgery to reduce my liver size. Support group, giving up so many things I will never be able to eat again. For 35 years I struggled with my weight. If I could have done it on my own I would have. I now have a longer expected life span and feel so much healthier. My wife, family, work, church were all supportive 100%. Some people in my support group never made it to surgery because no one supported them. This may be the hardest thing some obese people have ever done, support them so they can get healthy and live longer lives.
Final score:
3points
#60
We had to let our beloved dog, Murphy Alexander, go to sleep 11 days after my dad died.
Final score:
3points
#61
NOT look at bored panda
Final score:
2points
#62
Pulled myself back from committing suicide on more than one occasion. The thoughts creep im my head from time to time but I've gotten strong enough to fight them off.
Final score:
2points
#63
Closing my father's eyes. He was in hospice, surrounded by daughters and granddaughters, and when he passed, we were lucky to be with him. His beautiful blue eyes were still open and I instinctively reached over and closed his eyes, knowing I'd never see them again. He taught us how to live; he taught us how to die,
Final score:
2points
What do you think ?
h to da izzle 1 year ago
Had to decide together with my In-Laws when to shut down life-support when my fiance had Terminal cancer
Shelly Pettyiohn 1 year ago
My mother died and my father and sister did not bother to call me. They blocked my phone number . This was all for no reason at all. They have instructed all my aunts and uncles and cousins not to speak to me. I will never understand where this came from but it is affected me mentally and physically.
beverly ledbetter 1 year ago
I have many but I'll only name two: the first having to realize that I'll never be what I aspired to be in life; the second is the poor state my body has become. I've gained so much weight after I stopped chemo for my uterine cancer and I can't seem to get it off. I'm trying to get bariatric surgery but it doesn't seem to be happening because I always have to start over for one reason or the other! This weight has always bothered me--but because I'm ethnic no one ever believed it--and I'm really sick of the misery that goes along with it. I'm not giving up on the surgery though. 😦
Legless_snake (Post author) 1 year ago (edited)
I just want to thank all of you for being so vulnerable. It truly means a lot to me that you shared these things. Hugs. Byeee
h to da izzle 1 year ago
Had to decide together with my In-Laws when to shut down life-support when my fiance had Terminal cancer
Shelly Pettyiohn 1 year ago
My mother died and my father and sister did not bother to call me. They blocked my phone number . This was all for no reason at all. They have instructed all my aunts and uncles and cousins not to speak to me. I will never understand where this came from but it is affected me mentally and physically.
beverly ledbetter 1 year ago
I have many but I'll only name two: the first having to realize that I'll never be what I aspired to be in life; the second is the poor state my body has become. I've gained so much weight after I stopped chemo for my uterine cancer and I can't seem to get it off. I'm trying to get bariatric surgery but it doesn't seem to be happening because I always have to start over for one reason or the other! This weight has always bothered me--but because I'm ethnic no one ever believed it--and I'm really sick of the misery that goes along with it. I'm not giving up on the surgery though. 😦
Legless_snake (Post author) 1 year ago (edited)
I just want to thank all of you for being so vulnerable. It truly means a lot to me that you shared these things. Hugs. Byeee
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