Hey Pandas, What Is The Best Insult You’ve Ever Heard? (Closed)

What's one of the cleverest or funniest insult you've ever heard?

This post may include affiliate links.

If your brains were dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off. >:)

Report

Final score:

3points

Mushroom Garden

POST

DarkInfernoGamez 1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Winston Churchill's insult to Lady Astor.

Lady Astor: If you were my Husband I would poison your tea.

Churchill: If I were your husband I'd drink it.

such a classic burn.

Report

Final score:

2points

Andres Tejeda

POST

kjorn 3 years ago

this is the best i ever heard, but i also read that wasn't from him. but a good one!

2points

View more comments

I'd give you an ugly look but I see you already have one.

Cracks me up every time.

Report

Final score:

2points

Luella Stinson

POST

crustycow 3 years ago

Thats really good lol

1point

“Were your parents cousins, or did they just drop you on the head one time too many?”

There’s a certain word I don’t use because it is hurtful and insensitive to people with intellectual disabilities, but it is hard to refrain myself from those who are both hateful and stupid.

Report

Final score:

1point

POST

K. (Submission author) 3 years ago

I don’t find it humorous to use punishment on children/toddlers. Just had to point that out.

2points

"I could eat alphabet soup and s**t better lyrics than that"
Johnny Mercer, after being asked his opinion about a particular song

Report

Final score:

1point

Mark Serbian, PK&RG,W

POST

My kid said this to me once, 'Go step in a puddle!' I couldn't get ahold of myself for hours...

Report

Final score:

1point

The Lost Kin

POST

shark172 3 years ago

Ok.........

1point

Who pissed In your cereal?

Report

Final score:

1point

Ranboo beloved He/They

POST

bully: *say literally anything mean/rude*

me: no u

if u r ever in trouble, just bring out ol' reliable.

Report

Final score:

1point

jonnotheGOAT

POST

Not mine, I have to credit Lin-Manuel Miranda for this one:

Sittin’ there useless as two shits

Report

Final score:

1point

FurryManiac

POST

Zenya Jiwani 2 years ago (edited)

here's a roast : there's only one thing wrong with your face, i can see it

0points

View more comments

#10

We seem to have trouble communicating. Should I clap to let you know when I’m finished?

Report

Final score:

0points

POST

See Also on Bored Panda

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#11

Overheard a 2 gentlemen arguing in Portugal:

Calado eras poeta.

Means: With your mouth shut, you're a Poet.

Report

Final score:

0points

ojjunior

POST

#12

You're so dense, light bends around you.

Report

Final score:

0points

Nikki Sevven

POST

#13

Person 1: *makes depression joke*
Person 2: Well if you're so sad then just die
Person 1: Hunny if I wanted to die I would just jump from the very top of your ego down to your IQ level. Back off.

Report

Final score:

0points

8-ball

POST

Zenya Jiwani 1 year ago

that was pretty funny

0points

#14

Sorry for the politics but ngl this is kinda funny:
*Word for word*
Clinton: It's just awfully good that a person with the temperament of Donald Trump is not in charge of the law in our country
Trump: Yea, because you'd be in jail

Report

Final score:

0points

Sent From The Slytherin House

POST

Hey Pandas, What Is The Best Insult You’ve Ever Heard? (Closed)

tulip poplar

tulip poplar

Diana Lopetaitė

Diana Lopetaitė