I'm thinking of women who were not considered good-looking, but have had partners: Lena Dunham, Eleanor Roosevelt, Lillian Hellman, Ayn Rand, Rhea Perlman, Betty Friedan, George Eliot. Their intelligence, talent and personalities seems to have helped. I think you deserve better than to have to be invisible. I don't know where you live, but the people around you sound very shallow.

I see, so you’re scared of how people will judge your music

Assess the risks, then see how you can mitigate those risks. That includes the following: document the abuse (including pictures of bruises, any witnesses, have you told anyone about the abuse, have neighbours overheard the abuse, etc.), protect your assets (finances, etc.), find a safe place to go (you might lose the house, but it may be a worthwhile price to pay), do research about laws (what happens if you leave, what rights do you have, etc.). If you have children, does your wife mistreat them? You might want to get custody (if it's shared, can you apply for full custody later on?). If your wife is physically abusive, can you call the police?

Right, I can help you with this! I wanted to write a novel, but couldn't imagine writing a whole book. I watched a video - https://www.ted.com/talks/matt_cutts_try_something_new_for_30_days about a guy who said to try something different for a month and he also wrote a book. I had no story idea (!) but just came up with an opening scene (and this is the key - just think of where it will start, who's there, what's going on, etc.) and just write it. It may only be 1 or 2 pages long, but you will then have the start. I wrote a 200 page novel in 28 days because the ideas just started flowing once I'd started and was thinking about the characters and so on. I was really happy with it, so as you already have an idea, just do that then set yourself a target of writing say 3000 words a day. Honestly, I've never looked back and have written more books.

Well, everyone has or had some form of stage fright. I know I do, but I usually just try to ignore it

I think a lot of people that way. One of my favourite lines from any movie is from Wall-E: "I don't want to survive, I want to live" Find something to bring a smile to your face each day, it'll give you something to look forward to when you wake up in the morning. Try a new hobby. Learn a new skill.

I wanna see your birds!

It sounds as if you have anxiety. It can be managed. I've learned to handle mine better. This link has a lot of suggestions: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/how-to-cope-with-anxiety#long-term-strategies

Show them who you are scream at them poke ur finger in their chest and say u know what doesn’t mean that ur having a good time that we are u r just a piece of some *sh** on our shoes ur so annoying just give up already no one likes u

The fears that you have about skydiving have likely all been answered. Also, your first jump will be tandem. Seriously, go try it.

Check into paragliding. The parachute is opened BEFORE jumping.

Hmm.. well you should start out at a cave with one entrance and explore, then work your way into smaller areas. But don’t go into a place where you know it’s extremely dangerous. Although, you should believe in yourself and try becoming one. I hope this advice helped you, friend

Wow, I feel like I could have written this 20 years ago. Hang in there, have patience and take baby steps towards finding self love each day. It WILL get better.

That can be scary. I don't know how old you are but why not be an au-pair for a year.

Watch videos or visit aquariums. If you still want to try diving, take it in steps: take baths; take baths that aren't very hot; wade in a fountain or pond up to your knees or thighs; put on a bathing suit and go deeper into the pond. Then find a pool where the water isn't too cold. Learn to swim. If you find you never get there, no worries, you've tried. Learning to swim is a very useful skill, but if you learn to just float or do the dog paddle, that's a life saver right there.

Why do you need a label?. You are you, Happi doggi. And, if someone asks just tell them you don't know or just don't want to be a label. You're too lovely to be a label.

Ooof yeah, I still have difficulties doing that. It’s just hard for me to come out to people even if I’ve known them for years, I’m just afraid to lose them. But you should start talking honestly with them, it will turn out good for everyone

And what is your dream business?

I'm currently a black belt in taekwondo, I don't know much about MMA but the sparring in my martial art has padding on and it's a great way to start getting used to the force of a kick

Hmm.. well first off, you're gonna want some experience in politics, start by picking your ideals and try running for mayor and work your way up

My question: what are the risks of coming out? If they're throw you out of the house, don't do it until you can live on your own or live with someone else. If they get get angry and impose rules on you, you're not in danger, but it could make your life hard. If they get upset, but don't try to make your life difficult, you just might need to wait a bit and talk things over some more. Sometimes parents react badly because they think they did something wrong or they think your life will be hard - that comes from a place of love and they will change.

Maybe one or more of the people depending upon you can go travelling with you!

Start small; coffee date.

Same I really want to ask your crush out

Why doesn't she listen? Age, dementia or just plain denial?

Yeah! BICYCLES UNITE!!!

There are lots of online classes. You local library might have a link to classes. Mine does, and I can take classes just by typing in my library card number and a password of my choosing. If learning online, start with something easy and then make a simple game for practice. You can also take a similar class to get a more rounded understanding of each topic. I knew a beginner who would ask different people for help because each person would give a slightly different answer or show her something a little different. So she learned something new from each one.

Maaaaan the first time with the band, my leg started wobbling. After the first minute it was fine, so was my voice. It was fun.

Third time. Okay - step one. Actually go and try it. And I mean talk to the skydivers and the pilot.

F**k them, do what you want! (But if you're concerned, take self-defence classes.)

Can you do non-credit video auditing of courses? Can you save up, then go to school and live off your savings? Can you read about your interest? So many great achievers are self-taught, you know.

Seems like this topic comes up a lot. At least you know you're not alone! But it's not true that you'll never know if you don't try. I wussed out on asking out a high school crush of mine. Many years later I ran into her and we got to talking. Apparently she felt the same way and wondered why I never asked. So I did find out, but far too late. Carpe Diem!

Gosh, maybe you should try one of those indoor wind tunnel skydiving places instead.

Hope the people who rely on you appreciate your efforts.

should make clear, it's not just about not wanting to move abroad because i've done it several times..... I've lived in the UK.. italy... france..... the US...... and a couple of other countries...... but that move to vietnam like i've always wanted now seems ...... i dunno.... maybe too daunting to take someone else with me along the way whist i have my last hurrah.

Here is what I'm seeing in your statement: "I’ve spent my life trying to keep her happy": your mother is unable to be happy about anything and takes it out on you because you're an easy and available target; you think that it is your job to make her feel happy; you try, but you fail, because your mother will never be happy.

There is an international group called Toastmasters with chapters in everyone's town. Small groups of like minded people meet once a month and critique each other and give advice. Its more comfortable in a small group and everyone has the same goal; public speaking.

I get that, I’m too awkward to even talk to friends. But I’d just raise my hand and give my best guess to an answer

I see, well.. what’d I’d do is record myself singing and post it on a account on YouTube and ask what they think of it, and then work my way up from there

Some professional musicians take medication, beta blockers, for stage fright.

A relatively low-cost way to give this a try is to rent a booth at a street fair. Obviously, you'll need to bring T-shirts to sell, and price them about the same as other booths. If you pick a fair that draws people who wear T-shirts, you'll know pretty quickly if people like them.

My mom went back to school at 63 and is getting her Masters at age 67. She wants to be a counselor. It's never too late.

Thats hard to deal with. Maybe talk to a close relative about the issues you have.

I know it's difficult, but it's probably best if you tell him straight forward, there's a good chance he likes you back

Honestly sammme

Bill Bryson has a book about hiking the Appalachian Trail that I remember being amusing and inspiring...maybe something like that would inspire you enough to do it.

My finance suffers from this too.... and a few years ago my advice would have been to 'just f****n get on with it'...... and it's only through her experiences that I realise that means jack s**t to someone who just doesn't feel like they can do it. Even know she'll say something to me and recall like a really trivial interaction she's had with like a supermarket guy/woman at the checkout and berate herself for not instantly coming across as like wit of the decade cause she'd just thought of a joke she maybe coulda said at the time but didn't...... she feels people remember that kinda s**t when in reality they don't.... they're not going home laughing about the person that pressed the wrong button on the self-checkout that one time..... they're just getting on with their own lives.

It's almost as if you'd have to throw up in front of them - it's possible they think your nausea is a way to get out of school or chores. If someone was constantly nauseous, I'd be concerned about their health. Here is one idea for getting the conversation going (no guarantees, but may be less risky than shouting at them): "You seem to understand a good amount about me. I want to add a few more things to your knowledge". Was there ever a time in your life when you told them about a problem and they helped you? If yes, try: "I remember when I told about [problem] and you helped me? I really appreciate what you did. I have a problem I'd like to talk about, maybe you can help me with it." This might get them to be less defensive.

If it's risky, don't do it. Save up your money and make plans to leave their home when you can. That can be one of the following: going to school far away (you can pick and choose accepting people at college or university); moving out and sharing a place; getting a job far away where you can get a room or a dorm (such as resorts - if you can take courses in tourism, that can help you get a job in one). Be on good terms with open-minded adults around you (teachers, relatives, etc.) - you might need their help some day.

I love, love, love traveling by myself...no conferring over every single decision; if you decided you don’t like a place you can just leave, or if you really like it, you can stay for as long as you want (circumstances allowing). I went to Europe (England, France, Italy) in my 20s, Africa in my 40s (Morocco, Senegal), Southeast Asia also in my 40s (all of it), and I moved to Bangkok when I turned 50–ostensibly forever, but in actuality it was only a year. Since then I’ve traveled some around the U.S., but my financial situation will no longer allow me to range very far. It was mostly a blast, and when it wasn’t (homesickness, a bad reaction to my anti-malarial, and one theft), I recovered and have lots and lots of great memories.

Post it here!

Are there jobs in the theatre than you can do without much social contact? I'm thinking of work such as: scenery design and production, publicity design (posters, web pages, etc.), ticket sales, etc. I found this list and it's pretty long! https://getintotheatre.org/blog/complete-list-of-jobs-in-theatre-industry

Go ahead and draw if you enjoy it. Try not worry about someone not liking it. People have different tastes in art, and artists have different styles. For example, I can enjoy abstract art, but a lot of people don't. I won't stop liking some abstract art just because others don't.

People will have all kinds of opinions, just because people have different tastes. Play your music and do a little show for a small audience of people you trust and see what they think. Make sure it's the right audience. For example, play hip-hop for people who like hip-hop or play country music for people who like country music. If they criticize it, ask what you can do to improve. Decide if their ideas fit with what you want to do. I didn't like criticism when I started working in applied arts, but now I find I learn a lot from what people tell me. They'll also tell me what they really like about my work and that helps me, too.

Get information about safe places to dive. I haven't gone diving, but I have done snorkeling. I started by swimming in a pool with goggles on, then I took snorkeling lessons. After that, I went snorkeling with a guide. It was in a small bay, so there were no dangerous animals. A shark swam by, but it was a small one that goes after fish, not people.

What’s stopping you?

When I read "I don’t do well with asking for things most of the time," I think that and your sadness are good reasons to find a therapist who can help you. I used to be really scared to ask for things, but I've gotten much better at it. It's made my life much easier. What scares you about asking to see a therapist?

There are indirect approaches, depending on whether you socialize with him or not. You could try wording it like a compliment, such as "I really enjoy your company - you're a lot of fun/smart/nice/etc." and see how it goes. You can make a little joke. I once asked a very handsome man I didn't know, "Do you ever give your phone number to strangers?" (He said in a monotone, "I don't have a phone", so I knew he had no sense of humour, either - no loss for me.).

I only recently quit school percussion - but I think I'm a bit too young and busy to be in a band.

Several people wrote about this - read the answers.

Check the possibilities (any laws, regulations, etc. where you live, any costs, etc.). Prepare yourself psychologically. Some people are delighted at meeting biological family and being welcomed. Others have been disappointed (bio parents had problems or didn't want to see them). Make sure you have some support in place, just in case.

Try one of those things, take it one step at a time, you don’t know if you’ll fail until you try