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Hey Pandas, What Is A “Useful” Survival Tip That Will Wind Up Useless In The Long Run? (Closed)

Survival tips are everywhere. Ranging from taking your clothes off in the Arctic to avoid a mad polar bear to checking if your water smells like cinnamon, some are useful, others not so much. Give forth your own seemingly reasonable one that actually makes no sense and we'll see who is truly the queen or king of useless tips that will never actually be used.

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#1

Hippos will not attack anything bigger than themselves.

Final score:

32points

theoneandonlynoira

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#2

If you get lost, you can just follow the North Star. If you get lost during the daytime, you may have to wait: First for nighttime to come, and secondly for all of humanity to die out so the light pollution will be gone and you can find the North Star.

Final score:

28points

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#3

My father insisted I take Judo-classes when I was 17 in order to defend my-self should I be attacked in the street....so far so good..you walk more confidently down a dark street....when it did happen,it was my shoe with the stiletto heel that did the trick...

Final score:

22points

Jette Wang Wahnon

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#4

The instructions that flight attendants give regarding water landings really aren't relevant if you're going to crash from altitude into the open ocean. The plane is gonna break apart when it hits the water. Thank goodness it's rare!
I was a flight attendant for a legacy airline. There have been cases where a plane made an emergency landing after takeoff or on approach, and in those cases, the emergency instructions are very important, as is obeying the flight attendants' instructions.

A lot of jokes are made about the safety instructions that the flight attendants give before takeoff, but they're really important. Even if you fly every week, it's a good idea to pay attention to them before every flight. The passengers on Tully's flight (he landed it on the Hudson River, and everyone survived) will surely attest to that! If you know something really well, that kicks in instead of panic in crises.

Final score:

21points

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#5

always know where your towel is.

Final score:

20points

Katrina Whitmell

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#6

It's seldom the fall that kills you, it's the ground!

Final score:

14points

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#7

aim for you attackers eyes. they cant stab you if their blind. and it hurts-a lot.

Final score:

13points

kallee the frog

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#8

It is impossible to drown if you are breathing.

Final score:

12points

theoneandonlynoira

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#9

My father taught me how to fish, build a temporary shelter and forage so if I ever got lost in the woods, I could survive until rescued. He also taught me the most important things to put in your backpack including matches in a waterproof container and a set of fresh undergarments in a plastic bag in case I got wet.

He also taught me that when waiting to be rescued, build a small fire and periodically put wet leaves on it...the smoke will make it easier for helicopters to pinpoint your location.

Final score:

9points

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#10

Drinking alcohol because you're cold. F*ck it, I'm drunk now. What do I know. Oh, that and eating stuff. Actually, that's important.

Final score:

8points

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#11

A wolf pack won't eat you if they arent hungry enough

Final score:

8points

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#12

Pull your school desk out in the hall and crouch under it if atomic bombs start to fall. That is what they told us in the 50's and 60's.We were fortunate that we did not have to test its effectiveness but it was pretty clear that it was sort of futile. Especially if you lived in the DC area.

Final score:

7points

#13

You can't really die from hypothermia if outside temperature is over 86°F (30°C)

Final score:

5points

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#14

The million-item "go bags"/ "bug-out bags". KISS, folks. KISS. Please.

Final score:

5points

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#15

Packing certain items for outdoor trips. I've learned that there's no set amount of things that one needs to take all the time, it always greatly depends on the trip you're planning. Learning about necessary kits is very useful at the beginning (and most of the time), but once you learn it, you don't follow it to the letter. Just don't forget the socks.

Final score:

4points

Titas Burinskas

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#16

Don't use a blow-up boat.

Final score:

4points

theoneandonlynoira

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#17

Licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.

Final score:

4points

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#18

Don't steal food from animals.

Final score:

3points

racheli begelman

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#19

Umm...
Most of the survival things I know are useful.
But, if you are attacked by a bear hold a lit cigarette to those to distract them. If you can do it without getting your arm ripped off that is.

Final score:

2points

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#20

When drowning, Fill your lungs with air. It will help you float.

Final score:

2points

#21

If you are ever being chased by a polar bear, take off all your clothes. They are very curious animals, and will stop to sniff them. IDK if this will help anyone, but useless(?) life tip.

Final score:

2points

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#22

If you think you’re being followed, make random turns a to verify they’re actually following you. If so, pull into the nearest police station. Of course, that doesn’t help you if it’s the police chasing you.

Final score:

2points

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#23

Don't die.

Final score:

2points

<3LilyBunz<3Akolimination<3

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#24

If you see a bear, don't move. Depends on which bear and a bunch of other factors.
Also, to start a fire, rub 2 rocks together. Doesn't work with any 2 rocks and you could be wasting valuable time

Final score:

1point

The pizza girl is here!

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#25

A candle can be made out of a crayon.

Final score:

1point

And my name's Jennifer

#26

Eat till you're sleepy, sleep till you're hungry. Repeat.

Final score:

0points

Patricia Manteuffel

#27

If you are attacked by an animal go for its throat! Choke it to death! IT BIT MY HANDS OFF!

Final score:

0points

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#28

If u are in India don’t visit any popular temple… it’s full of scam and fake priest… rather then visit places and explore cities in daytime

Final score:

0points

#29

If you are in India… don’t visit popular temples. It’s full of scam and fake goon priests.

Final score:

-1point

theoneandonlynoira

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Diana Lopetaitė

Hey there, Pandas! My name is Diana (though some prefer to refer to me as Diane, Deanna, and even Liana sometimes), and I am a Community Post Moderator Lead for Bored Panda. As my position title states, I am one of the people (employed Pandas for bamboo) over here who work with the community side of things on this website to ensure all is well, and while at that, I also help various creators and artists get recognition for the incredible work they do by connecting them to a large worldwide audience. Other than that, outside of work, you can find me brewing a nice cup of coffee, making a pizza from scratch, or baking brownies. I also love traveling, concerts, and cats (heavy on that, because I am a cat mom).

Hey there, Pandas! My name is Diana (though some prefer to refer to me as Diane, Deanna, and even Liana sometimes), and I am a Community Post Moderator Lead for Bored Panda. As my position title states, I am one of the people (employed Pandas for bamboo) over here who work with the community side of things on this website to ensure all is well, and while at that, I also help various creators and artists get recognition for the incredible work they do by connecting them to a large worldwide audience. Other than that, outside of work, you can find me brewing a nice cup of coffee, making a pizza from scratch, or baking brownies. I also love traveling, concerts, and cats (heavy on that, because I am a cat mom).

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