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"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community Growing up, the rule for Saturday mornings was that the first kid up was able to choose what our father made for breakfast. My little brother E (3 or 4yrs old) got up at like 7AM and told my dad he wanted "treaded pancakes" or "shredded pancakes". My brother was still working on speaking clearly and was very upset that my father did not know what he meant. My father woke me up and asked me to translate. So I get up and ask my brother, who is almost in tears. "shtreaded pancakes!" he says. I look straight at my dad. "Waffles," I say, "The boy wants waffles."

Mae Mu Report

Final score:

325points

Kurt Frank

POST

KENOBI 2 years ago

Lol this is golden

89points

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community I was four or five years old, my grandpa took me to a zoo and I saw a peacock for the first time. My delighted exclamation: "Grandpa, look, a blooming rooster!"

Steve Harvey Report

Final score:

299points

Marie Buschheuer

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KENOBI 2 years ago

Kids are so cute

60points

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community Mom and I were re-painting a ceiling when the dogs went crazy barking. We rushed outside to do battle (this being a very rural area, you never knew if a bear would show up)... and scared the bejeezus outta the US Postal Service guy b/c we also happened to shout PAINT STICK WARRIOR WOMEN! as we ran out wielding our paint rollers.

Theme Photos Report

Final score:

243points

Leo Domitrix

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Liz Nellis 2 years ago

OMG! That is too funny!

59points

1st year in primary school. I was 5. At the end of the day everyone had to stand and say a prayer together before we left (Catholic school. Go figure). One day I realised that everyone, including the teacher, prayed with their eyes closed so I just left when they started.

Final score:

217points

Alex Boyle

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Andy-Pandy Broomfield 1 year ago

Well played :)

46points

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community My grandmother took me to the Jacksonville Zoo. I was 6. I was excited to see all the animals IRL that I saw pictures of, or on TV. I knew all their names and wasn't shy demonstrating my knowledge. When we got to the elephants, I caused a big stir. I noticed something odd and yelled out, "Hey Grandma! Look! Loook!! That elephant has FIVE legs! 1-2-3-4-5!" When she stopped laughing and got her breath, she explained that it was a male elephant.

James Lee Report

Final score:

206points

jsgriffith

POST

Lucy 2 years ago

Lol my daughter saw a couple of chimps at the zoo when she was about 4 & screamed that the one behind the other was hurting it & of course that wasn't the case.

74points

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community Some background: When I was little, we lived abroad, my dad got a job with my uncle and brought us over too. Uncle and aunt used to live in a compound - I believe the American version is a gated community. My mom used to take us there to aunt's house and my sister and I (f) would go alone to the nearby park to play with the other kids. One day we decided to take a walk through the compound and we went pretty far from aunt's house. A little elderly Indian guy (90% of workforce in that country is Asian) was driving a minivan through the streets and saw us all alone wandering so he offered to give us a ride back home. We jumped on board and he dropped us off at our aunt's. While retelling this story to our mom and aunt when asked how was our day, they went bats**t crazy on us (for to us then unknown reasons). To this day, I shudder to think what could have happened to us if we weren't picked up, or even were picked up by the wrong person. I salute you, random elderly Indian fellow, may your offspring be protected in the same way you protected us that day.

Claudio Schwarz Report

Final score:

192points

OneHappyPuppy

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Kitten Dog Mom 2 years ago

Glad the OP and sis are safe. There was and are good people in this ugly world.

53points

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community Not me but my uncle.
When my uncle was very young, he was getting dressed and he put his shoes on his opposite feet. My grandmother saw this and said "Owen, you put your shoes on the wrong feet." My uncle looked at my grandmother and then his feet, "but mom, these are the only feet I've got!"

Amanda Belec Report

Final score:

171points

Joni-lee Smith

POST

K80.127 2 years ago

This has to be the sweetest! I LOVE that kids can be so literal. One of the best things about them!

51points

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community When I was 7 or so, I was singing Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy (Bette Midler). But I was a little confused on the lyrics. "He's the Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of company b, said he couldn't blow a bugle so he blew me." I had no idea why my mom was laughing so hard.

Kelli McClintock Report

Final score:

171points

Sunny Day

POST

Country 2 years ago

That'll do it.

40points

#10

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community Well, when I was maybe 7 or 8 years old and was in Sunday school, the girl that was seated next to me had Down syndrome (still remember her name lol and I'm 44 now). One day we were in our classroom and one of the light switches was broken and didn't have its cover, so being the a*****e I was as a kid, I told the girl to shove her finger in the hole, which she told she wouldn't do, despite me insisting, lmao. She never touched the open light switch, and I was so fricking curious that I ended up shoving MY finger in the hole, and because karma is a b****, I got an electric shock and spent the rest of the class with my hand trembling like crazy...

Jaye Haych Report

Final score:

157points

TheAquarius1978

POST

Liz Nellis 2 years ago

Yup, ya got B**ch slap by karma straight away! 🤣

92points

#11

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community I touched my tongue on a hot toaster to see if it would make that "sizzle" sound. It did!

Manik Roy Report

Final score:

147points

Elizabeth VanDyke

POST

Lucy 2 years ago

OMG that had to have hurt

52points

#12

I was 12 in the 6th grade. Went to a friend's birthday/slumber party. She lived in a small community. Her house was on the corner and her bedroom faced the street, and had giant picture windows that opened to the street. Her house was big and dark, spooky, and very old. Sometime in the early morning all 7 of us were watching some silly movie, we heard a scary noice and we all jumped up and ran to her room jumping on the king sized waterbed. I was second from last on the pile from the top to jump on the bed, well someone jumped right in the middle of me and it caused me to pee on everyone under me. I jumped up and ran to the restroom. I was MORTIFIED, TERRIBLY EMBARRASSED AND SCARED. My friend came to check on me and told me it was ok and no one was mad. So everyone promised to keep slumber party events secret and that was just one of the secrets. Or so I believed.
The next school day, all of my boy classmates knew and I had to relive that over for years. At our high school graduation, the valedictorian brought it up again in her speech. I'm 47 now and have yet to live it down

Final score:

140points

Sunny Carrol

POST

Kitten Dog Mom 2 years ago

Kids, even teenagers can and are still hateful and think things like that are funny. Should not have been down voted. OP try to put it behind you and be the better person.

65points

#13

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community My mom came out of the bathroom after having done eyebrow pencil, and I said, without missing a beat, "OHH, Maman, you made man eyebrows!" She went back and changed them.

Taylor Heery Report

Final score:

139points

LinaLovesBooks

POST

Liz Nellis 2 years ago

Oh, your poor mom

51points

#14

When I was a kid my mom told me I couldn't lay on the floor to watch TV because of the draft from the door. Only, I though she said giraffe and I spent many evenings trying to figure out how a giraffe flattened itself enough to get under the front door and what it would do to make me sick. I was terrified.

Final score:

134points

Cynthia Hinckley

POST

Oktogal 1 year ago

Giraffe anxiety? That’s a new one.

38points

#15

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community When I was 5, we went to a wedding of a relative. My mom explained there would be a ring bearer and train bearers. I thought she said trained bears so as the bride passed I loudly said "Where are the trained bears?" Boy was mom embarrassed.

Kelly Sikkema Report

Final score:

128points

Victoria

POST

Barbara Spencer 2 years ago

From the mouths of babes!!

21points

#16

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community I was my dad's princess. He indulged my every whim. Of course kids like me are stinkers. First time he took me on a plane to visit my grandma, I was about 5, I insisted he get up, go to the cockpit and tell the captain to "make this plane go faster. Right now." Boy oh boy, once I reached adulthood, he told that story to everyone. I never lived it down, but we would laugh about it. Lost my precious dad in 2012. I miss him ribbing me about it. I'm not quite as demanding now.

Suhyeon Choi Report

Final score:

119points

Tiffi

POST

Lynn 2 years ago

Back before 9/11 and even further kids were invited to the cockpit a lot and given “wings”. Heck! Way back they used to smoke on planes!!

54points

#17

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community When I was about 18 months old I was not feeling well. Sore throat. So my parents took me to the doctor. The doctor got out a tongue depressor. And I apparently was having none of it. I did a snapping turtle impression on the stick. The doctor blinked, then tried to wiggle the stick. The head bobbed but the jaw was locked. My parents were no help. They were rolling and laughing. Doc, "I think I saw enough." Yeah right. I didn't want to be poked.

Online Marketing Report

Final score:

119points

J J A M M

POST

OneHappyPuppy 2 years ago

My son ladies and gentlemen...

33points

#18

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community So as a kid I thought I could parachute from the loft down to the first floor... with a blanket... And my parents would never know. My giant swollen foot and me withering around crying sure hid it all well!

Andrea Davis Report

Final score:

111points

Karina huynh

POST

Kitten Dog Mom 2 years ago

My older siblings did the same to me but we had an old parachute, surprised I lived through it all.

27points

#19

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community Not me but my brother. One day he was trying to sing along with a BTS song, but he doesn't know Korean so it was all just gibberish. Well, my dad (who speaks Arabic, Spanish, and English) comes into the room and hears this and he starts to yell at my brother. Apparently my brother said like five super bad Spanish words in a row.

Nathan Dumlao Report

Final score:

108points

Teresa Fugal

POST

Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago

😂😂😂😂😂 that is funny

29points

#20

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community My little brother and I dug a hole in the backyard, trying to get to China. Someone told us we could, and we believed for some reason. We ended up hitting and breaking some sort of pipe and the hole filled with water. We didn't know what to do, so we covered the hole back in with dirt, and pretended it never happened. We had a swamp for a backyard for months. Our mother called the water company to complain about a large bill or two before the "burst pipe" was discovered. We never said a word. We were rotten kids. We laugh about it together from time to time. We both have kids that are mostly grown up. We tell each stories of what they think they have gotten away with.

James Fitzgerald Report

Final score:

107points

Darth Daddy

POST

Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago

People use to say if you dig you will get to China. They use to say that all the time.

32points

#21

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community My father told me I was born with a tail like a basset hound. We had 2 adult bassets and a litter of puppies, so I found this totally believable. I was 10 before I asked my mother if I had a scar from where my tail used to be. She was very mad at my dad!

Casper Coomans Report

Final score:

106points

Wendy DeWitt

POST

Chel Bolin 2 years ago

Our mother used to tell us we had an invisible tail. We have tail bones, so when we are good it hangs down our leg and the end tucks under the big toe. But when we are misbehaving it wags behind our head to flag our parents.

21points

#22

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community When I was about 5, I had bangs, which I absolutely hated. One time we were vacationing in a hotel in the mountains, and I told my mom I wanted a haircut without bangs, "like the gentleman over there", pointing at a random other guest. The gentleman was bald.

Emmeline T. Report

Final score:

100points

Lola G

POST

Ramona Jackson 2 years ago

He had no bangs, I get it. Makes perfect sense.

32points

#23

I ate a spoonful of wasabi thinking it was mint ice cream.

Final score:

98points

Just a panda

POST

Hydro Keychain 2 years ago

Now I want Sushi.

20points

#24

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community When I was about 3-4 my mom told me I could have a cookie if I ate at least half of a plate of grapes. I took a bite out of every grape.

Maja Petric Report

Final score:

97points

oliz

POST

hhh cubed 2 years ago

I think that's actually pretty smart for a 3-4 year old.

35points

#25

I grew up in the '80s and I was about 6 when I heard about people starving in Ethiopia. I took my plate of food and put it in a big envelope, added some stamps and asked my mum to take me to the post office so I could send it to Ethiopia.

Final score:

96points

MAnahP

POST

Elisabeth Breckenridge 2 years ago

Whenever I didn't want to finish my food, my mom would try to encourage me by saying there were "starving kids in China". Now, I had seen the child sponsorship commercials where poor kids were picking through the trash - so I thought my mom's comments were utterly ridiculous since my eating my food would actually leave LESS food in the garbage for those kids to find. I always tried to throw out good things so the poor kids would have something nice to eat.

49points

#26

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community I was 9 and we were on a river trip. We had pulled off the water to have lunch on the beach and when we were finished one of the men announced that he had "to see a man about a horse" and wandered into the rushes. I immediately got up to follow - I wanted to see the horse! Needless to say, my parents were quick to hold me back, and we had a nice chat about some of the more colorful idioms and why I couldn't take them so seriously.

Silje Midtgård Report

Final score:

94points

Andi Simons

POST

Freya the Wanderer 2 years ago

I've heard this as "see a man about a dog." Sometimes, when I have to answer the call of Nature, I say "I need to see a dog about a man."

21points

#27

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community This isn't mine, it's my brother's, but when he was a toddler, our mother left him alone in his room and then realized he was being too quiet. She walked in and... baby powder everywhere. He said it was "snowing". He managed to get it everywhere inside the room.

Nathan Dumlao Report

Final score:

92points

Sara Matta

POST

Jane Doe 2 years ago

My nieces did that with a canister of oatmeal. Mom got home from nursing shift to , “mommy. we skiing!” in the kitchen. in their underwear. Dad, “hey, they were quiet.”

43points

#28

When I was in 6th grade, I was over at a friend's house. We decided to go to the park after dinner. We were playing on the swings, and decided that I was small enough to fit in a baby swing. I did fit. Only problem was, I couldn't get out. The parents had to come and turn the swing upside down and shake it so I would fall out. It's a fun memory to hold on to!

Final score:

92points

Harvey

POST

PiscesInTheWild 1 year ago

Lol, I can just see the people walking by giving weird looks at your friend's parents shaking a kid upside down out of a baby swing.

14points

#29

My mom used to mix 1 part sweet cereal with 2 parts no sugar cereal in a large Tupperware tub, and I'd always be the first kid awake of the 5 of us, so I would pick out all the sweet cereal and make myself a bowl of goodness before anyone knew about it.

Final score:

90points

Fawminaj

POST

marge 4 2 years ago

time consuming but worth it

19points

#30

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community I was playing hide and seek with kids around the cul-de-sac.
Competitive as I was, I sat tucked in a hedgerow trying to decide what was more important - winning the game or answering the call of nature at the risk of being found.
Suffice to say I stupidly chose the former and decided it was better to wet myself. Then walk all the way back home in p**s soaked jeans.
I totally got my priorities all wrong.
But for whatever it’s worth, I have bloody fantastic bladder control as an adult!

Annie Spratt Report

Final score:

88points

Uncommon Sense

POST

KENOBI 2 years ago

Fantastic can’t have it happening again right!😎👉👌

23points

#31

12 year old me (and several others) walked straight into a pit of cow dung, ran out crying, and washed our faces in a creek filled with snakes. This was a school trip.

Final score:

87points

Shreya Kurien

POST

Robert Trebor 2 years ago

Good preparation for life in the workforce.

50points

#32

To improve memory power I would often take part in memorize and recite contests at school. My father encouraged me to do so and once while watching news in TV he said "Look at the news reporter. She is not stuttering while reading the news because she memorized the news so well . You should achieve that level of perfection!" . That motivated me like crazy. Years later I found out that news reporters read news by looking at teleprompters.

Final score:

84points

Poovaraghavan Selvaraj

POST

Barbara Spencer 2 years ago

Boy...your dad sure sucked you in!!

35points

#33

When I was 2 or 3 years old, I had a doll. I was very proud of the name I gave her and I cried and threw a tantrum when my parents forbid me to call her.... H*tler... I didn't understand why they were shocked. I didn't understand ANYTHING. 🤣

Final score:

76points

LilaNadja Apfel

POST

Dizavid 1 year ago

"Me and Baby Hitler are cooking with the easy bake oven today!"

31points

#34

When I was about 10 or 12 my mom, my best friend & me was coming back home from the store when the car died at the intersection in town.

My mom asked us to get out & push the car so we get out & go to the back of the car & push but the car didn't move so we try again still nothing so me & my friend take off our flip-flops for better grip ( despite the hot pavement ) still nothing but we continue to try & just as the guy in the 18 wheeler gets out to try & help us the car finally moves.
Me & my friend later found out that it wasn't moving because my mom had the parking brake on & when we asked we she had it on she said because it was a red light.

There was no other cars crossing the intersection because all the other cars was politely waiting for us to move our car out of the way.

Final score:

73points

GTM Mut

POST

Lucy 2 years ago

Why on earth didn't she tell you she had the brake on?

41points

#35

When I was like 3, I licked all the icing off of the Oreo cookies. I kept the cookie part for some reason, I don't know why. But I had them sitting on a desk in my room for like a week. My friends came over and I gave them the stale, licked cookies, and they ate them. They didn't question why there was no icing they just ate it. And they still don't know.

Final score:

72points

JusHereForFun

POST

Dizavid 1 year ago

This is how you test for psychopaths.

19points

#36

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community 5-year-old me tackled mom from behind, causing her to grab hold of the china cabinet to keep from falling.
Many glass, ceramic pieces fell onto the floor, breaking.
I hid under a bed until the pieces were cleaned up. Cannot recall any type of punishment for this either.

Paul Kapischka Report

Final score:

71points

Igg Nacious

POST

Darren Fusellier 2 years ago

I blame your mum for not being prepared for the attack! Rookie mistake lol

29points

#37

When me and my brother were little he found some hair products and put them in his hair. My mom was busy on her online college so she said for him to go to bed. He then came back and said "I took care of it mommy." Later we learn he dunked his hair in the toilet.

Final score:

69points

Anna Beltakis

POST

Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago

Eweewe I hope he cleaned his hair lol

12points

#38

"When I Was Little...": 40 Funny And Wholesome Childhood Stories, As Told By Our Community Well, one day I went to the store with my mom and her friend and keep in mind I was young at the time. Well, we walk by the Ziploc bag boxes and I look at them and I go "Mom, how come on the box it shows food in the bags but the bags don't come with food in them?" :)

ziploc.com Report

Final score:

66points

Sara Matta

POST

Lucy 2 years ago

My daughter when she was little asked the same thing

21points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

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Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#39

When I was 7 years old, the dentist hurt me with one of his little stools ( nothing serious, he didn't do it on purpose) then scold me because i moved a little , because it surprised me. I bit him.

Final score:

62points

Eline

POST

Jane Doe 2 years ago

stools or tools?

30points

#40

Well, in elementary school, I was a REAL animal lover. And where I lived there was this pond behind our apartments I would cross sometimes to get to my bus stop quicker. There was always animals out, birds, rabbits, and ofc... ducks. I saw a baby duckling and well, I thought it'd be a great idea to bring it to school. Teacher freaked out, so did all my classmates. I didn't get in trouble for it they just called the animal services. I promised nothing like that would ever happen again... in 5th grade I did it again :p

Final score:

56points

Yes Yam

POST

Lakota Wolf 2 years ago

By 5th grade you should have been old enough to know better to leave the baby animals with their mothers. :(

37points

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#41

My story is about my oldest brother and one of my uncles. My uncle (a teen at the time) had a habit of waylaying my brother (5 yr old) everytime we came home from town as he usually had candy that uncle could just grab and scarf down before anyone could catch him. That habit kinda backfired one day.

Anyone out there old enough to recall when Gravy Train dog food first came out? You guessed it, then. My brother gets out of the car with his hand close to his chest, acting as if he is REALLY enjoying his goodies. Uncle runs up, snatches a handful of kibbles from brother and crams them in his mouth!

No surprise that he never did that again, but I have a whole slew of stories like this. The 'Normal' gene not only doesn't run in our family, it runs from it!

Final score:

40points

Barbara Shelton

POST

KamCy Ahaka 2 years ago

The last sentence is gold😂

21points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

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“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#42

I have several.. but my favorite was when I was about 5 I told my grandma “I’m going to take my teeth out just like you when I get older!” As she was taking out her dentures..

Final score:

40points

Chelsea Bates

POST

Dizavid 1 year ago

My grandma was smart around kids about this: she said her dentures were sensitive to insults and would fly out and bite children who were mean to them. Then she'd eject them half out her mouth if someone looked ready to challenge her on it.

4points

#43

When I was about 12-14, my family and 2 other families we knew well went to a family camp in Upper Michigan. We had been warned of a family of bears in the area and to be careful to avoid them, as mama bears are protective.
One night, we are walking back to the cabins in 2 loose groups. One of the dads gets a bright idea and slinks off from the first group into the roadside bushes. I was in the first group and observed the chaos that followed.
This bearded man makes growling snarl noises as he rises up, arms akimbo, from the bushes. The second group of mostly moms and younger kids scream in terror, moving en masse to the furthest side of the road. And my mother grabs my little brother by the shoulders and shoves him in front of her as a meat shield. To this day, we tease her for her quokka-like reaction!

Final score:

39points

Calista Blaylock

POST

Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago

What the heck mom!

6points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

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French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#44

My two younger sisters and I shared a room with bunk bed that had a full size at the bottom. Some nights during bedtime, I would close the door and fart bomb them and they would exclaim and yell and have to suffer there because that was way less scary than to face mom. Mom walked in once all yelling at us to be quiet, sniffed and ran back out. We all laugh about it 20 years later. I think they may have Fart-PTSD.

Final score:

38points

Karina huynh

POST

Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago

Lol that is so funny. Your mom ran back out lol

2points

#45

Not mine but my niece has given me permission to share.
First day of kindergarten, she come home from school with a black eye, looking very proud of herself. When my sister, horrified, demanded to know what had happened, she gave a huge grin and happily replied
"I headbutt a little boy!"
"What? Why??”
"Because I like him!"
"That is NOT how we show people we like them!"
"Uh huh! He headbutt me back! Now we're best friends!!"
Sure enough, eleven years later and they are still best friends. I'm convinced they'll be more one day.

Side note: I learned a few months after the initial friendship headbutt, that they had been trying to switch bodies like the movie Freaky Friday... I have no words for that one. Lol

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

Final score:

35points

Hannah

POST

LinkTheHylian 1 year ago

Maybe Zinedine Zidane was trying the same approach with Marco Materazzi.

3points

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Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#46

I don’t quite remember this, but my brother tells this story at least once every two months. When I was five, I have no idea why but I tried to get the flour down from the top shelf. Five year old me for some reason opened the flour before I tried to get it down. I tipped it over and the whole bag of flour got all over my face and the floor.

Final score:

31points

Pensivehummingbird

POST

Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago

Yep I've had this experience but I had left the flour out from the night before so I guess it was fair game. Kids had it all over them and making art out of it on the floor with the fingers. I never did that again.

6points

#47

Wouldn’t call it “funny” per say, but I had my first “kiss” at eight years old by randomly kissing boys and girls in my classroom. Fellow student found out and told the teacher. As for others, I made fart jokes a lot as a young grade schooler. Didn’t know that experience would lead to me being bisexual. I’m still in the closet to my family and I don’t plan on coming out to them at all. I could envision myself with a boyfriend or a girlfriend but when I’m around my friends I just say boyfriend as I don’t want them to think I’m weird.

Final score:

30points

MZ (she/they/he)

POST

Liz Nellis 2 years ago

You be YOU! 💖

27points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

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#48

It was Easter time at my dad and new stepmom's home... Early 70's. All of us kids were involved in an egg hunt. I saw my dad look under a bush and then walk away shaking his head. I went to the bush and looked and pulled out a yellow egg. Dad was not so pleased. He thought a 9 yr old gaslighted him... LOL!!!

Final score:

30points

Liz Nellis

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KENOBI 2 years ago

Why did he think he was gaslighted? Did he just mess the egg?

16points

#49

I was about four y/o, and my mom had a cold. I have no idea what my thought process was, but I cut a big chunk of her hair off. I still feel really bad about it.

Final score:

30points

newt juices

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marge 4 2 years ago

I couldn’t figure out where that was going

8points

#50

When I was maybe 6 (50yoM) my grandfather, knowing he wouldn't be around too long, would tell me inappropriate jokes, changing the punchline, and as I've aged, I've gotten so many jokes as gifts. Like this one
Him: "Do you know how Indians name their babys?"
Me: shakes my head no
Him: "well, they look around where they are, and if they see wolf running, the child is named wolf running, if they see eagle flying, they name the child eagle flying.
Do you know what your name would be?"
Me: "No Grandpa, what?"
Him " well, when you were born, I looked out back of the hospital, and in the alley, I saw something.
And you would be Two dogs fffffffuuuu"
At which point my grandmother hits him, and laughing hard he loudly says
"Fffuuuuu---ignting"
And he starts laughing hysterically and I join him, not understanding why...

Final score:

28points

Preston Neathery

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Jayne Brown 2 years ago

The late, great Sir Terry Pratchett used this in one of his Discworld novels. Twins. The first son was called (as above) but we were never told that exactly. The second twin was called One Man Bucket.

16points

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#51

Apparently when I was a toddler, I went from 2 or 3 word answers to sentences at once. I was with my parents and a neighbors house and he asked me if I wanted any 'cow juice'. I supposedly answered 'That is not cow Joyce? It is Milk, M I L K, milk!'

Final score:

27points

Elephant Girl

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Robert Trebor 2 years ago

And I was thinking of cow Joyce so fondly. I wonder where she is now?

12points

#52

When I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, I had this bully who was a 5th grader and one day I punched him in the gut because he was about to hit me. So then I go to the principals office and I get suspended for 4 or 5 school days while the boy was unpunished. When my mom got there she asked why the other boy wasn't getting punished and the secretary said "It's not always about your son" my mom got mad because I felt like I was in danger and acted in self defense but because he didn't actually hit me he wasn't getting in trouble. So my mom turned to me and said "Let's go get some ice cream" when the secretary questioned it my mom said "I am not going to punish my son for acting in self defense.

Final score:

27points

Country

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kcanded 2 years ago

That's not funny that's very admirable! I love parents who advocate for their kids instead of blindly obeying supposed authority.

15points

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#53

Me and my sister are much better than our mother at English due to us moving to a different country at a young age and having to learn English to communicate.

My mom wanted to improve her English and so she asked us to speak it with her,I was seven in the backseat of the car,she said (with a broken accent) “So we speak English now?” and I rolled my eyes while saying “This is gonna take a loooooooooooooonnnggg time”
Still a family inside joke :')

Final score:

25points

Late-Night Devil

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Lucy 2 years ago

Huh? I don't get it 😕

6points

#54

When I was in middle school the neighborhood I lived in had this weird thing about it: about every 2 houses there would be one house with about 2 or 3 bichon frise dogs just living in the yard. They didn’t often walk them, the owners just let them loose around the yard and chasing birds and barking at the passers by. If you were unlucky enough to be around when they’re not taking their naps, then the whole street of fluffy white bichon dogs barking would create a tantrum and you just gotta run before they figure out the hinges on the yard doors aren’t really stable. Most of the pet dogs in the neighborhood were bichon frise. It was the most cutest but bizarre thing I ever saw.

Down With Agent Hedgehog!

Final score:

25points

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Kitten Dog Mom 2 years ago

Fluffer madness!!!🤣

6points

#55

When I was a kid I hated shoes and could be seen regularly not wearing shoes, even at time where shoes would be expected. One night when I was about 9 or 10 years old my parents decided to take us to the drive-in movies and then said we would just stay the night at a hotel since it would be so late to drive home. We used to go to the drive-in movies a lot as a kid, but never stayed in hotels after, we just came home. Despite the change, I didn't think much about the change. So I put on my very favorite fuzzy pajamas, a sundress for the morning, picked my favorite snacks, and piled into the car with my parents and little brother who is a year younger than me.

Movies were great and I never remember going to the hotel afterwards. In the morning, I get myself ready and pile into the car again. After a short drive, my parents pull around the corner and I see large signs pointing us in the direction of Cedar Point (a large amusement park about 2 hours from home). This is when I burst into hysterical tears.

My parents, totally confused at the situation turn to look at me. I catch my breathe and between tears finally get out "I'm not wearing any shoes!"

My parents are beside themselves and speechless. They are mad at themselves for not noticing that their child hasn't been wearing shoes for the last 12+ hours, that their 9 year old didn't even put shoes on but also because since are 2 hours from home. Since this was the 90s and before cell phones, it took them a minute but they did find a Payless Shoe Store. They made me sit in the car while my mom picked out new shoes. It took over an hour before we finally made it to the amusement park. In 37 now and my mom still makes sure I have shoes when we go anywhere

Final score:

25points

Ges Line

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TKA 2 years ago

At least there are a ton of store close by, probably even more than I know about, it’s been awhile since I have been up there, 2 hr drive for us too. I once took our daughter to safety city (before kindergarten) without shoes, thankfully we only lived a few minutes from the school lol.

3points

#56

Son was 3 and asked for a cookie. Gave him 1, then 1 for the other hand. He asked for another. When I said his hands were full, he put 1 in his mouth and held out his hand. He got the cookie.

Final score:

24points

Brenda

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Mere Cat 2 years ago

My daughter at about 18 months was eating these crunchy lentil rings, really enjoying them. Points to the package to receive more, I say "but you still have your mouth full!" And she procedes to dig a whole ring out of her mouth. Not full anymore, I guess, room for more! :D

7points

#57

During middle school I walked home with a friend from grade school most days, and he was a bit lighter than me and a bit less risk averse. On a trip to a mountain camp he walked out on some thin ice, and convinced my stupid self it was safe to walk on, after which I found out it was not, indeed, safe, but fortunately he quickly grabbed a branch and my parents were nearby so it ended well... so when we were walking home and he decided to swing from some ivy, and told me it would be fine, I of course had learned my lesson and refused. Only about 10 seconds later the ivy snapped and he crashed down into the small creek below. As soon as I was sure he was fairly unhurt, I enjoyed a nice revenge laugh.

Final score:

22points

Phyzzi

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Robert Trebor 2 years ago

I would've had the laugh even as I was checking on him.

7points

#58

9 year old me (F) approached my mom with my cat in my arms and declared, “this is my big pussy!”. She lost it!😂😂😂

Final score:

21points

Karen Margaret

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Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago

😂😂😂😂😂 my kids where saying that in the van one day. I told them not to use that word.

5points

#59

My grandmother lived on the water, a branch of the Elizabeth River (Virginia). There are birds, called loons, that have long necks and dive under the water and swim great distances before surfacing. My uncle told me that they were baby Chessie... Similar to the Lockness Monster (Nessie), but living near the Chesapeake Bay, we have Chessie. I believed him until I was about 10 or 11 years old. Like seriously,why would he ever lie??
Also, I thought that turtles were frogs that found a home... Like hermit crabs - they just came upon a shell and said, "Yep, this one will do." LOL 😆

Final score:

21points

Jessica Shea Mahan

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Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago

I think the frog thing is so cute and the story about the loons is funny lol

2points

#60

When I was younger, (Elementary school age) I had a hard time pronouncing the double Rs in horror. One year at the county fair I wanted to go on the haunted house ride. Dad said we had to eat lunch first. As we finished eating my father announced we were gonna head home. I blurted out, "But Dad, you promised we could go to the Whore house"! To which everyone laughed while my mother hurriedly and loudly said "Horror, double R."

Final score:

21points

Chel Bolin

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Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago

Yeah I did that too and my kids have done that.

5points

#61

I am my brothers younger sister who always wanted to do everything he could do. I wanted to climb the trees and one day my mom caught him helping me up into the tree and she wanted me to keep my feet on the ground for a little while longer, so she made the rule that I could climb the tree once I could get into it by myself. Well, the next day I have my tricycle under the lowest branch with one foot on the seat and one on the handlebars and I jumped for that lowest branch and missed! I landed back in my original position and my mom came running out of the house, certain she was going to find me broken. Knowing she was defeated, she took my jump rope, tied it around the lowest branch, allowing me to step in the loop, reach the lowest branch and climb to my hearts delight. That story still gets told 45 years later.

Final score:

20points

Karynne Williams

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Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago

I loved climbing trees when I was little. I was like an expert. The mailman would always freak out. Little did he know I had graduated to really big trees lol. I'll never forget how the mailman would react.

5points

#62

My younger brother eating too many pot noodles when they came out, leading to amusing breaking wind noises later, whereupon aforementioned noodles made a surprise reappearance, apparently dangling from his balloon knot as he shuffled awkwardly to the bathroom.
To this day I haven't laughed as much!

Final score:

18points

R J

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Zack Podany 2 years ago

I thought "balloon knot" had to be an autocorrect at first...

5points

#63

When my twin sister and I (male) were very young, maybe around 8-10, we had a brother/sister siblings living down the street from us we often played with. Sister was iirc a year or so older than the brother... One day we all went swimming in my family's pool, getting in our swimsuits and leaving our regular clothes on a bench in the back yard. The boy's underwear had a "mysterious" brown substance in it, when we teased/interrogated him about it, he said "Mom my puts play-doh in my underwear!" The older sister, of course, was having none of it, and called him out while chasing him around the yard with his "play-doh" undies on a stick, taunting him as to why he was so scared of it.

Final score:

17points

DeoManus Argentem

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Aisling Brew 2 years ago

Sounds more mean than funny

16points

#64

Once when my brother was three and I was two we were put down for naps. My brother ended up pooping in his diaper, but instead of telling my mom ( or whatever 3 year olds do when they poop) he pulled his pants of and painted the walls with his hands and feet and poo. We called him ' Poo- caso'

Final score:

14points

Teresa Fugal

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Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago

Yeah my kids have done this one once oh Lord what a mess they made and it was right when we woke up we found the poo painting in there room all over two walls.

2points

#65

This was around my 7th birthday I think and we had a big party which was more like a family reunion. There are multiple things that happened that day. 1: some of my relatives roasted a whole pig and I was so shocked that I couldn’t go anywhere near it. When it was done my grandma tried to force me to eat the tail and I almost threw up. 2: I had an Elmo birthday cake and right when I was going to blow out the candles my uncle comes behind me and blows them out. I still hold a grudge against him 😂.

Final score:

13points

Archer Harris

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Jennifer H 2 years ago

I've always refused to let anyone blow on candles near me. They can have the candles on their OWN piece and blow them out. To this day I cringe when I see people doing this at parties.

8points

#66

When I was in kindergarten..I had much to learn yet in this life! I was proud that I sharpened a pencil to an honorable point:) then I proceeded to hold it point end up on the desk; laughed nodding my head foward; stabbing myself in the forehead. I looked up cross-eyed and confused as it stayed there in my head.! I had lead stuck there in my forehead for years. A lesson that we all must learn especially the ability to laugh at ourselves. Lol!!

Final score:

12points

Jane Nachbar

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L Livingston 2 years ago

When I was 12 I was stabbed in the palm of my hand by a really sharp pencil in the bottom of my school bookbag. I'm 55 now and I still have a grey dot where I got stabbed.

9points

#67

Funny memory 1: When I was at primary school, we had an awards ceremony and it went for well over an hour. We were coming to the end of it when my name was called and they asked me to come up to the front--infront of the whole school.

So I got up, but my legs collapsed beneath me because we'd been sitting there for so long in such a cramped condition that my blood circulation in my legs had completely stopped. Unsure what to do, I crawled to the front to claim my award.

Funny memory 2: I went to the beach in my wetsuit and waterproof shoes and went for a swim in the sea. When I came out I felt this weird feeling in my shoe.

I thought I was imagining it at first, but it persisted, so I took off my shoe and a fish jumped out. Don't worry though, I got the fish back in the sea unharmed :)

But yeah I've never heard of fish swimming into people's shoes before. Very odd. If you're curious about the species it was a baby lemon sole fish (I think) either that or something similar.

Final score:

12points

Sabre

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Ramona Jackson 2 years ago

Once I found the cutest little baby octopus in my wetsuit. I tried to save it but it was small and not hardy. Out of the water too long, it had died. I still feel a bit sad over that.

7points

#68

When I was around 12-14 throughout my high school years, everytime my brother (4 years younger than me) and I would get McDonalds, we would order Happy Meals and then after dinner we would take my Dads hammer and blast them to smithereens. Sometimes, we would deface them with Sharpies beforehand. Whatever kept the kids away from hurting each other was my parents mindset I guess :)

Final score:

11points

My Rabbit Bites

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Barbara Spencer 2 years ago

Very strange indeed!!

6points

#69

I took a swallow of sour milk when I was about 9, my brother sat at the table watching me and knew it was bad but didn't say anything. Needless to say I quit drinking plain milk that day lol.

Final score:

11points

Cat Mom times 14

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Lydia Holmes 1 year ago

not even a year ago... im 13. my mom was making buttermilk pancakes and I was helping her. i washed my hands and, being allowed to taste ingredients my whole life, stuck my finger in the buttermilk and had a taste... it tasted like sour milk. my mom, asked what did you expect I replied, ...buttery, sweet milk. NOPE the pancakes were delicious tho

0points

#70

My year three class was the battiest thing ever. You know those blue plastic chairs that all stack on top of each other? Well, we were having circle time, so all the chairs were stacked at the edge of the class room, and the boy next to the stack noticed that one of the chair legs was missing it's rubber plug. So, he stuck his finger up into the chair leg. And couldn't get it out again. Our teacher had to go and get the receptionist, and it literally got to the point that they were debating grease, cutting the leg off.... And he yanked really hard and got it out. Also, once another boy had been sent to reception for something, and the second he left the room, our teacher ( fun but batty) said, 'quick, let's all go outside and hide'. So the poor kid comes back.... And is faced with a totally empty classroom.
We thought it was funny.
And Oh yeah! I was the sixteen year old idiot, who thought ' oh no, I never burn, I don't need suncream on my legs'. Paid heavily for that one, and never did it again.

Final score:

10points

Rhianna Hollowaye

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#71

I was on a punt with some friends. One was misbehaving so his mum told us tho push him in. He panicked and pushed me in instead. But I hung of and only had one foot in the water, with both arms and my other leg still in the boat. The only thing was it was a really awkward position. To get back in, I had to jump out the boat and then climb back in. As soon as I put my other leg in, I remembered my phone was in that pocket. I was the only one who found this funny. (BTW my phone was fine.)