Hey Pandas, What Did You Grossly Misunderstand As A Child?

As kids, we all had something we interpreted wrong or weird, some could be normal or some could be weird. what's yours?

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I thought it was, like, physically impossible for an unmarried couple to have a baby.

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Final score:

18points

Dobbys Boggart

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Samyan Elrod 2 years ago (edited)

Same lol. Edit: I thought if u were married u suddenly had a baby one day.

1point

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Not sure if I'm going to get downvoted into oblivion or censored or what, but I'll do my best as this is a bit risque. I went to sleep away camp at the age of 11 and the counselors and CITs spoke pretty freely about sex. Things I knew almost nothing about. I heard them mention something called a "bl**j**". My minimal knowledge of boys anatomy mystified me. I'd seen a flaccid one (lots of boy cousins and changing to swim together, we were kids, it wasn't weird) but also knew it had to be erect to help make a baby. I finally decided a "bl**j**" must mean the woman had to inflate the excess skin like a balloon to allow the man to have intercourse. It was flaccid until the woman blew it up. I was amazed when I got older and found out that's not how it works at all.

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Final score:

13points

MrsFettesVette

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PunnyPanda 2 years ago

I admit, though the inflation part never occured to me, I totally thought the same thing, lol.

2points

When my teacher told me people come in all shapes and sizes, I took it literally. I thought people could have a triangular head, or maybe a pink body.

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Final score:

10points

General Ratto

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*Displayname*=idk 2 years ago

I thought the same think in kindergarden. I also didn't think the rest of the world existed. Like we were the only on one big land mass. Took me till second grade.

1point

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That if you eat a watermelon seed it will grown inside your stomatch

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Final score:

8points

marii 🥷

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Missmic 2 years ago

I blame Rugrats

5points

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The phrase "whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". I did a lot of dumb s**t thinking it would make me physically stronger. That's how I learned that no, unlike Mary Poppins, you cannot safely float to the ground by holding a large umbrella and jumping off the roof... I really don't understand how I managed to survive childhood.

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Final score:

8points

PunnyPanda

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Rune Rosen (they/them) 2 years ago

Mood

1point

That a “blind date”, was with an actual blind person.

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Final score:

7points

Karri Berkowitz

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*Displayname*=idk 2 years ago

:O I thought this was just me! I thought I was just a little slow!

0points

That if I eat spinach, I will be strong like Popeye :)))

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Final score:

7points

Oana Alexandra Niculcea

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For a mercifully brief time in 1976, when I was five, I went to Sunday school. I was fascinated by the song lyrics:

Jesus loves the little children
All the children of the world
Red and yellow, black and white
We are precious in his sight…

I knew there were white people, black people, Oriental people (1976, remember?), American Indians…but red and yellow people? I literally thought there must be people that were bright Crayola red and yellow, and I was so excited to meet one one day! I even wondered if there might be blue or green people. I was disappointed when I told my mom about it, and she told me “red means Indian and yellow means Oriental.” Then I was just confused because they’re brown.

We were some seriously woke white southern Californians back then!

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Final score:

6points

UpQuarkDownQuark (he/him)

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I really thought being an adult would be fun

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Final score:

6points

Katrina Nixon

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ace lesbian demigirl(she/they) 1 year ago

So did I.

0points

#10

When I was little, I didn't really know what happened when you got your period, and by extent, thought you only had it once, then you were done. So when my mom asked my dad for pads because she started hers again, I FREAKED OUT.

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Final score:

5points

PANic(She/Her)

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Amber.exe (She/They) 2 years ago

I wish that's how it worked

6points

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#11

I once asked my Dad if the color red could be used as camoflauge and he replied 'Everything around you is red.'. So for what seemed like months I racked my probably 5 year old brain trying to understand what he meant. Clearly alot of things are not red. Things can be blue too. Or green, or yellow. Is this guy crazy? I decided I had to ask him again but I had to wait because I felt like an idioit. When I eventually asked him again he replied 'Only if everything around you is red.' Which is exactly what he said the first time. Turns out I felt like an idioit for a reason!

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Final score:

5points

Matt C

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#12

When people at my Catholic preschool said Amen, I thought they said Almond imao

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Final score:

5points

Doofenshmirtz (she/her)

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#13

I believed that babies were made by eating special seeds, so, whenever we went to the garden shop, i looked for the "baby aisle"

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Final score:

5points

that panda with the fur

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Do-nut touch da donut 2 years ago

I luv this one

5points

#14

When i was a child i was thinking that there is an elavator cabin on each floors, cause when i want use it there was one on each floor that i am

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Final score:

5points

Ezgi

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#15

I knew power lines electrocuted you. I saw squirrels on power lines. I thought squirrels were zombies.

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Final score:

4points

I am an Alien

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*Displayname*=idk 2 years ago

I thought that they were spy robots, and so when they went on the power lines they were recharging.

7points

#16

Chalk is not, in fact, food

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Final score:

4points

Garlic Bread

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MarcyParlomerNerdGirlsRock 2 years ago

Ah well…

2points

#17

I couldn’t believe my parents actually had first names- not just Mama and Daddy

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Final score:

4points

Mrs.King0315

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BannedFromABoatShow 1 year ago

Or that my cousin didn’t call her mom Aunt Sherree, and that Aunt Sherree was my mom’s sister! I thought that was so messed up.

2points

#18

I misunderstood a LOT as a kid. I took things literally. Case in point, there's a huge statue of General Custer in the town I grew up in. I honestly thought he died on his horse, posed, and they poured cement over him then put him on display.

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Final score:

4points

Kim Shannon

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#19

Thought people actually had a bubble around them that you couldn't see and it would pop if someone got to close and that would cause the uncomfortable feeling. Then it would grow back.

Thought people could pee different colors. Like your genetics decided if your pee was blue or yellow or purple and my family just happened to all pee yellow

Also for a long time thought that the word "c√m" was that stuff that grows between your teeth

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Final score:

3points

Chickens are fluffy

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Samyan Elrod 2 years ago

that last one tho-

5points

#20

I thought that you unrolled tampons…

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Final score:

3points

oliver

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Mulberry Juice 1 year ago

Did you try this? And if you did, can you unroll tampons??

0points

#21

I thought that double-spacing meant actually putting two spaces between every word. I did it that way until sixth grade.

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Final score:

3points

Owen

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General Ratto 2 years ago

Oof size, mega

2points

#22

When I was a kid and I saw a movie with actual people I thought it was a true story.
Afterwards I’d go around asking what happened to the characters and even my classmates looked at me funny because I didn’t get that they were actors….

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Final score:

3points

Lizz

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Jacob1z 1 year ago

so if in the movie the person died you would think they died in real life?

0points

#23

I thought a period comes out (they're not literally called "periods" in my language) all at once, instead of torturous 7 days.

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Final score:

3points

MusicalNerd

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#24

To sum it up, when my parents had “the talk” with me, I interpreted it into “mommy and daddy have to take a c**p in the same toilet without flushing, being completely naked, and a baby would spawn out of the toilet” I don’t know how I interpreted it this way, but I somehow did.

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Final score:

3points

Max

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k sand 1 year ago

Funny, when my dad explained how a baby got inside of my mom, all I came away with was that it involved flying germs and the toilet.

1point

#25

I was 10 and my older sister and parents were having a sex talk. When was listening I knew what it was and I thought ejaculation was when the woman ate the guys penis

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Final score:

3points

DARKNESS

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#26

By grossly i think you mean large but i have something that i misunderstood that was gross in both ways i thought the birds and the bees was that the bee was the boy and that the stinger was his you know what and thats how baby’s were made and then finally delivered by the storks

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Final score:

2points

Pillowarmidiloroku

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#27

I once asked my mom where babies came from, and I think I misunderstood her saying “they come from a bean” and for the next year or so I refused to eat beans because I thought it was illegal, I was like 4 but god was I wrong.

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Final score:

2points

Some Sort of Hyena

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#28

I thought when you kissed a girl, a stork would bring a baby to your door step..

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Final score:

2points

TheGoodBoi

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*Displayname*=idk 2 years ago

I thought that if a guy kisses me the same thing would happen...

4points

#29

Sorry for ruinin ur child hood but ya...... you know the five lil piggys and how the last one goes wee all the way home well.... the piggy who goes to the market, that didnt mean he was goin shoppin.... the piggy who went to the market is actually headed to the chop house if u know wht i mean.... again sry 🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷

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Final score:

2points

Do-nut touch da donut

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Do-nut touch da donut (Submission author) 2 years ago

I think the original was better when i thought he was goin shoppin😥

3points

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#30

Well, when I was around 3-4 (a long, long time ago) one of my mum's goldfish died. She told us (my brothers and I) that it had 'gone to Heaven'. What mum didn't know is that I had seen her flush it away down the toilet. So I believed that every time I used the toilet my 'offerings' went to Heaven.

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Final score:

2points

UKGrandad

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#31

I thought that the earth moved when you drove in a car or a bus

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Final score:

2points

My ADHD runs my life

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Mulberry Juice 1 year ago

You weren’t *completely* wrong

0points

#32

That girls poop too! (Still gross!)

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Final score:

1point

DV Zara and Headless lesbos

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Øptimist 2 years ago

We do tho-

6points

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#33

That death is certain. And I'm not immortal!

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Final score:

1point

DV Zara and Headless lesbos

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#34

That there were people who spoke different languages. I thought that they were just playing around. Now I know. :)

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Final score:

1point

Yeet_girl360

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Error 404 (He/They) 2 years ago (edited)

I thought people speaking different langages didn't know it. I thought that it would always sound french in their heads but they just didn't know. Not sure if it's clear :/

4points

#35

I thought squirrels worked the traffic lights from the inside. As in they wore hardhats and uniforms and had a set of buttons for them to use to do so. No one thought kids would actually think that until Bluey.

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Final score:

1point

Rune Rosen

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#36

Ok so this is something that I misunderstood until my late twenties....turkey basting. Since childhood I was grossed out because I thought the baster was like a douche if you catch my drift...

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Final score:

1point

Missmic

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#37

That men and women couldn’t sleep in the same bed ( unless they wanted to or whatever ) because they might kid in their sleep, which I thought for people pregnant

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Final score:

1point

Bisexual bee (she/her)

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Cute panda (Submission author) 2 years ago

I meant to put that they might kiss in their sleep, which I thought got people prego

1point

#38

I thought that when you went grocery shopping and you paid whatever you needed.... you got your money back. I remember the shock when it dawned on me what my mom talked about when she talked about getting change back.

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Final score:

1point

Lene

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#39

I was about 6 years old when I realized that summer break was not exactly as long as the school year. I was shocked and a little depressed to understand that the school year was 9 months and summer break only 3 months. (U.S.) I guess I was mathematically challenged…

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Final score:

1point

kitten levels tokyo

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#40

When I was little I thought that everyone was born with a weenie and then after you got a little older, it just disappeared. After all, I didn't have one! Then one day I saw my little boy cousins at the pool, and they clearly had weenies! I thought they would have disappeared by then and I was so confused.

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Final score:

1point

Jackie Lulu

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#41

small people lived in the television. If I watched a repeat I'd beg mum to call them to warn them if something bad happened 'last' time, so it wouldt happen again.
*not explained well. I know

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Final score:

1point

DarcyRose

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#42

When I was younger I thought women could just create a baby whenever they wanted. Like yeah there’s sex, I knew about that. But I literally thought that another option we had was to just make it ourselves. For example, a woman would just one day think ‘oh, I want a baby’ then her body would make one at will. Ahahah, I wish it was that easy XD

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Final score:

1point

Noosh

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#43

That the movie "The Wizard of Oz" was not completely filmed in black and white and as we only had a black and white TV, we didn't know any better.

Years later when we watch the film again on a colour TV, my brothers and I were surprised to see the land of Oz in glorious techno-colour! Our mother knew but left it to us to discover.

Shocking!

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Final score:

1point

Cheryl Forbes

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#44

How fun it is to go to your mailbox and get mail. I didn't understand it would be full of bills and not cards with $5 checks in them.

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Final score:

0points

ShaZam

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#45

The Thanksgiving was always on Thursday the 26th.

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Final score:

0points

Kim Steffen

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ace lesbian demigirl(she/they) 1 year ago

OH MY GOD MY BIRTHDAY IS ON THE 26th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

0points

#46

When I was 10, my brother and I were sent to stay with an aunt & uncle on their farm for a week when my mom had surgery.

My cousin had a Little League baseball game one evening, so we were taken to watch. I was not interested, so went over to the decrepit playground where I proceeded to be even more bored.

After a while, I saw my uncle heading past me to the cornfield. I ran over to him to ask where he was going.

He said "to see a man about a horse". My mind went farmer + horse = maybe riding? So I said "can I come with you?". He stumbled and said "no, not this time".

It didn't occur to me until a few minutes later that he was going to pee in the cornfield. And I'd just asked if I could go with him.

But I did get sent to stay with their eldest daughter at her in-laws place for the rest of the week.

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Final score:

0points

Sunny Day

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#47

I thought being gay ment you were really old. When my aunt said she was gay I told her she wasn't that old.

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Final score:

0points

DARKNESS

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#48

My parents used to tell me kids should stay in the car when filling up oil and something about gas being flammable so I thought that if a child steps out of the car on a gas station, it would go up in flames. It was foolproof to my 6 year old brain

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Final score:

0points

Mulberry Juice

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#49

Thankfully I've moved past this buuuuuuut, when I was littler, I thought that the world consisted of only straight people because that was what I saw. I never saw a gay couple out in public. When I saw a couple episodes of a disney wedding show, one had a gay couple and another had a lesbian couple I did not understand at all. Look me being gay af now.

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Final score:

-1point

that one ace lesbian genderfae

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