Not for me, but for those of us who may have questions about this. If there's any transphobia here, I will find the perpetrators and steal their knuckles (beware).

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#1

For trans guys/ people trying to look more masculine;
Baggy clothing, especially oversized hoodies
Clench your jaw a bit to make a jaw seem more defined
Good posture = taller = more masculine
Shoulders back and out, but not so much so that it exaggerates ur chest or looks forced
Look forwards instead of down
Manspread like no man has spread before
Act confident!
Use a wider stance, especially when walking
For your voice, relax your throat and then try to speak more deeply. Swallow before doing this (swallowing resets your vocal folds). Tensing up makes your pitch rise and sound more feminine.
If you're very short, using platform shoes may help, as long as they're not very feminine or super noticeable.

Dysphoria is different for everyone but personally I find that painting my nails, especially more feminine colours, gives me dysphoria. I've never had any issues with necklaces/bracelets or earrings tho so that's nice.

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crowspectre (he/they)
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Zane Lumagrowl
Zane Lumagrowl
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I f*****g LOVE manspreading and this list made me realize that yeah it's a dysphoria thing lmao

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#2

For those of you who want to defy the gender binary, here are my tips!

I reccoment short hair or short medium hair, especially with dye (hair dye always looks gay as hell). Genderless hairstyles such as buns also work, especially for amab people.
Mix gendered accessories! I like fancy earrings and nail polish + a binder and hoodie/sweatpants.
Look as queer as possible- if you're obviously gay, people are going to be more likely to not try and fit you into a gender binary
Let your voice contradict what gender your face might evoke (I have a pretty masculine face, so I often just let my voice be fairly high/feminine when I'm feeling more nonbinary, and someone with a more feminine face might wna too drop their voice)
Use the tips that help you look more like the gender opposite your assigned gender at birth. If you don't follow all of them, you'll end up in a more neutral space.
Experiment! Something will probably end up working out for you. Good luck!

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Grudge-holding Treefrog
Grudge-holding Treefrog
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m dying my hair green again next month. If people think I’m a girl with my short green hair and gay clothes, I don’t know what’s wrong with them lol

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#3

I'm not trans myself, but my Mother was. She was born in the 40's, and couldn't really even TRY to be her true self until she divorced at 50 and by then, trying to overcome long ingrained habits/mindset/etc. was.... HARD.

Here's some things I learned from her, for trans-men..

1.) Eyebrows - if you're still in the closet so to speak, whatever you do, if at ALL possible, DON'T sculpt/pluck your eyebrows. Some people can really suffer from that over time, because it thins them out or they just stop growing back in which can be a pain later in life. I don't mean you should go through life with a unibrow, but just... be cautious.

2.) Leg hair/under arm hair/etc. - if you've been shaving for awhile to fit in and decide to quit for good, yes, your hair won't necessarily look "natural" anymore. It might be thicker/more wiry than ever. If so, invest in a good skin moisturizer that's HEAVY on Vitamin E. If not, you can actually buy bottles of it. Slather it on yourself, especially after bathing.

After awhile, this can soften the hairs and feed your follicles. It doesn't always work for everyone, and in varying degrees, but it definitely does help.

3.) Breast binding - Invest in a thin, slightly stretchy wool or synthetic. Both are moisture wicking to keep you dry and you can get a MUCH better wrap than using cotton. Also, start your binding UNDER your breasts, this helps to prevent a sweaty heat rash which sucks.

4.) Consider boxer shorts - When you're a trans-man, the options for underwear as usually SUPER limited because you don't have the package you need for tightey whities or boxer briefs. If you don't want to stuff (using a pair of socks or padding, etc.), wear boxers under your clothes.

Menstruating of course might necessitate the need for panties. My Mom would only wear "granny panties" as she called them. The much higher waist on them made her feel a little better.

5.) Like everyone here has been saying, use baggy clothes. But beyond that, start to shop EXCLUSIVELY in the men's section. Depending on your size, you might need to shop in boy's, etc. This will help your mindset, but also..

--Depending where you live, men's and women's clothing are just MADE different, and to people in the know, you can tell just by looking. Not just the cut of the jeans or the shirt, but men's buttons are on 1 side, while women's buttons are on the other. Evens men's SOCKS are made differently.

--Shoes: Sneakers, Vans, etc. go without saying, but don't forget the genius of a good old pair of leather, reinforced work boots. Most are waterproof, the arch and ankle support can be excellent on some, and the tread is very sturdy. Winter or summer, they can be your best friend.

6.) Attitude - My Mom always said trying to be confident as a trans-man (or woman for that matter) is like giving birth. Trying to squeeze a watermelon out of an opening the size of a lemon. Why? Because you're trying to force a confidence past all of the ingrained b******t you were raised in/grew up hearing/seeing/etc. So it can make you come across as awkward, feel more awkward, etc. Instead, stop trying and start "being".

She said that when you've spent most of your life being forced into something you're not, you never really know WHO you are. She meant your REAL personality, your REAL attitude - which is where trying to focus too much on being confident can REALLY backfire.

Her advice was to "Let it all go! Stop thinking so much and just BE."

There's a lot more I could say or post, but I'm always a rambler so I'll stop here. Again this is just my Mom, everyone's experience is different.

(DISCLAIMER (for down votes): My Mom always wanted me to call her "she/her", so I'm not deliberately disrespecting her.)

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Hope Cows&Chickens
Hope Cows&Chickens
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love how open your mom was with you. I could never be that open with my mom. She must have felt very comfortable to open up wo thoroughly to you. What a treasured relationship! My condolences that they aren't around anymore. I'm glad you have such cool memories.

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#4

Transguy here: finding a partner who makes you feel safe and goes out of their way to make you feel good.

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#5

I’m cis, but i use this for when i’m feeling dysmorphic. Shower in the dark! so easy! very relaxing actually

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jolie laide
jolie laide
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just to add to that, please don't try this in the pitch dark, like if your bathroom has no windows/other source of light otherwise ouch, LOL. Can leave the door cracked for light to shine in, or use candles on the counter. Can also avoid mirrors on those days/times.

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#6

I color my eyebrows in extra thick, makes me look and feel a lot more masculine

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Zane Lumagrowl
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jolie laide
jolie laide
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My Mom had to do this, mainly because she couldn't fully break out and be who she wanted to (trans-man) until she hit 50 (divorce) but all growing up and until then she kept trying to fit in feminine and all of the sculpting/over plucking/etc. of her eyebrows made them REALLY thin, almost non-existent. (DISCLAIMER (for down votes): My Mom always wanted me to call her "she/her", so I'm not deliberately disrespecting her.)

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#7

In the very rare occurrence I get dysphoria I just feel miserable and wait for it to be over

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jolie laide
jolie laide
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My Mom always had what she called her "go to books" and the categories were kinda wide ranging. Eventually I could tell she was having a hard time in more specifics by what she was reading about and could sometimes help her. For example, if I caught her reading a lot of math books/doing problems, or doing sudoku, or reading about astronomy, I knew she was currently feeling like "an alien, sometimes on bad days I feel like an alien trapped in this f*****g body" (her words) so she focused on that area of her interests to try and take her away from all of it and for her, it seemed to work. (DISCLAIMER (for down votes): My Mom always wanted me to call her "she/her", so I'm not deliberately disrespecting her.)

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#8

I had a former neighbor that recently came out as trans. She would originally dress in the most butch clothes and boots. When she finally started wearing women's clothes, she seemed to be stuck in the 80's...(leg warmers, padded shoulders on her jackets.) Her roommate and I called a halt to it and took her shopping for a more modern look. I also took her to a friend that taught her how to do makeup (I haven't worn make up in 25 years.) Before I moved, I saw her standing out waiting for a ride. I drove up, rolled my window down and said "Now you look fantastic!" She blushed.

So my advise is..being a woman can be complicated when it comes to clothes and makeup. Lean on friends to help you if you are not sure where to turn for good cheap fashion or how to accomplish a certain look. Girls stick together and try to help each other as much as possible. We got you!

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#9

I can't speak for everyone else, but as a transmasc person who doesn't have access to a binder, referring to my breasts as man tiddies and wearing bulky jackets helps a lot.

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#10

I'm seeing so many posts recommending hoodies, but here's my tip for transmascs in hot climates.

Short-Sleeved button downs do a lot to hide things. It's a loose, woven fabric, so it's going to tend to stay away from boobs and curves, etc. It helps to buy them in the mens section, and if you can get a shirt slightly oversized it shouldn't fit funny on your chest. Try shopping around as well, a button-down from Kohls fit weird on my chest, but one from Old Navy works really well. Also, dark colors and tucking your shirt into your jeans will help hide your body even better.

Hope this helps, you're all valid and lovely, have a good day!

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#11

For trans guys/ people trying to look more masculine;
Baggy clothing, especially oversized hoodies
Clench your jaw a bit to make a jaw seem more defined
Good posture = taller = more masculine
Shoulders back and out, but not so much so that it exaggerates ur chest or looks forced
Look forwards instead of down
Manspread like no man has spread before
Act confident!
Use a wider stance, especially when walking
For your voice, relax your throat and then try to speak more deeply. Swallow before doing this (swallowing resets your vocal folds). Tensing up makes your pitch rise and sound more feminine.
If you're very short, using platform shoes may help, as long as they're not very feminine or super noticeable.

Dysphoria is different for everyone but personally I find that painting my nails, especially more feminine colours, gives me dysphoria. I've never had any issues with necklaces/bracelets or earrings tho so that's nice.

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#12

This might not help but I’m a male seriously considering becoming female and I would say, start off with dressing as what you want to be and try to get comfortable with the idea and what you’ll be doing in the future and if you still wanna continue doing what makes you happy, go ahead!

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ℕ𝕚𝕔𝕠 is leaving
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#13

answer to may: i really hope i get unbanned. we've had 10 people including me appeal so far and there may be more. when i get emails from bp it's usually around 4:30 am so i'm hoping i'll wake up to an unsuspended account.

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#14

I mostly just wear an oversized hoodie of Spirited Away (I'm gonna buy one of green day soon) I also listen to a specific song I've loved for years (king for a day by green day which is about drag) also try finding a comfort item like a hoodie, water bottle, or fancy pen.

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#15

im here with my dysphoric self!!

there's different types of dysphoria (mind, body, perception, etc.) and mine is mostly perceived so the tips will be focused on that probably

also, im transmasc but some of the tips are universal :)

okay so biggest tips:

let body hair grow and if you have light hair, take flash pictures with your camera so that it shows up better !!

join a trans discord server! i have a couple i reccommend (all of them are specifically for minors, though, if you're above 18 im not sure i can help you out lol) and that are a great community for talking about all sorts of stuff, not just trans stuff but also mental health, hobbies, fandoms, etc. where you'll be seen the whole time by people who understand what you're going through.

i personally pass pretty well in pictures and in real life until people see me move around/ listen to my voice. my body language and voice are both steryotypically feminine and its very hard to pass because of that but i try to not talk and that helps lol

im very opinionated though, so its hard not to lol

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#16

Not me, but my nephew. He told me the first time he truly felt like a normal person was when he was finally able to pee standing up. We celebrated.

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#17

Looking for the dictionary...

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Ronald G. Kirchem
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