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Hey Pandas, What Are The Hardest Parts Of Being LGBTQ+?
I believe that i may be LGBTQ+, (namely bisexual) and i wanted to know what the hardships are in the community. Also try to include a treat for me since i am a good boi. Thanks!
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#1
As a hetero looking at the abuse you guys receive...... The ignorance of the "conservatives" or the Christian Right, preaching love whilst condemning and insulting all.
Obvs not all Christians, and not all Conservatives, but you guys know who I mean.
Final score:
59points
David Furritus 1 year ago
For some scares Google "Proud Boys". They've actually threatened to show up at any Pride events down here in Floriduh and are helping our governor reinforce his philosophy of hate through extreme violence.
RELATED:
#2
As trans ftm, i think it's misgendering for purpouse. It hurts.
Final score:
34points
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago (edited)
It does. It’s considered hate speech. Edit: guys please stop feeding the troll. As entertaining as it is, that’s what it wants us to do. Downvote, report, and move on.
#3
As a heteroromantic asexual...I'm often too straight to be LGBTQ+, too queer to be NOT LGBTQ+.
Final score:
33points
daniel (pineapple he/they) 1 year ago
you get new title: soggy noodle straight but not straight
#4
The casual homophobia EVERYWHERE. People just tossing out ‘gay’ or the f-slur without even thinking about it, in normal conversation.
Also, the dismissal. I’m ace and most of the people I tell are like, oh everyone has a phase like that you’ll meet the right person someday, even my aggressively liberal, accepting mother.
Final score:
28points
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism (Submission author) 1 year ago (edited)
All you pandas are beautiful and amazing and have a great day. Except Schnizz. Fūck him and the horse he rode in on with a red hot poker. Edit: looks like we got Schnizz banned- transfer your hatred to his new alt: Fuzzy! Edit: now it’s Chipper!
#5
Having to do thorough research before you go on holiday: “How safe is X for gay people?”
Straight people go wherever they want. But there are entire countries and near continents that we have to rule out because of prejudice, intolerance and persecution.
My friends are astonished when we say that but it’s the truth. They look at the hotel decor, local amenities and cultural sites. I check those, plus the likelihood of being arrested or killed.
Final score:
25points
#6
Telling people my pronouns.
We have this LGBTQIAP+ kid at my school. They're pretty nice, except for the fact that they won't stop talking about their identity and sexuality. In every conversation where they had a chance to bring up their identity, pronouns, or sexuality they would. And frankly, many people got annoyed and stopped talking to them. Multiple people tried to convey their feelings, but it didn't work. I don't want to seem like I'm constantly telling everyone to use they/them pronouns, to the point of not telling anyone.
Here's your treat, @The goodest boi: 🍗🥞🥓🍟🥨🥟🍤🎂🧁🍿🍭🍨🍩
Final score:
23points
#7
For my personal journey it was thinking I was broken. Once I knew the terms that fit me, it was this strange mix of... Overly supportive, but incorrect. Oh demi sexual isn't a thing, so "you must secretly be gay, you can tell us, we love you!" Due to medical stuff I don't have boobs (cisf) and it's very obvious when I dress tomboyish but colorful, someone goes, "excuse me," long pause and stare directly at no-boobs, "sir." Someone grins and talks about how he's progressive for people like me, calling me he, while I cringe bc it feels dumb to have any opinions when people are literally being murdered for what I'm getting. Tldr I don't have it hard and it still sucks somehow lol.
Final score:
21points
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago
Everyone has it hard in some way or another. And that guy sounds like a perv.
#8
1. Casual homophobia (or any other LGBTQ-phobia: biphobia, aphobia, transphobia, etc.) that's so subtle cishet people act like you're crazy when you pick up on it and say something. Just because you don't get it doesn't mean it isn't happening.
2. How much homophobia do I put up with, and how much do I call out? This may seem pretty black and white at first, but I've come to see it's a spectrum. I know someone who's generally accepting with the occasional bit of homophobia through ignorance; someone who isn't accepting but doesn't say hurtful things except, again, through ignorance; and somebody who is just blatantly homophobic. It gets even harder when you factor in who you're out to and if saying something will out you. And besides, maybe I don't have the energy for it today, maybe it'll turn into an argument, maybe it's just not my job to educate people.
Final score:
20points
A gay cat man (he/him&Tré/Trè) 1 year ago
im an asexual, aphobia makes me commit many crimes, and it sux for everone
#9
1.having omniphobia even in LGBTQ my sexuality IS real and it does NOT invalidate any other sexualities!
2 people acting differently to me once they learn I'm apart of the lgbtqia+ community.
Final score:
19points
#10
The blatant disregard for us.
some pretty straight woman is hurt? everyone in the news freaks out and the culprit is charged with all this stuff
trans youth is hate crimed/killed? police dont bat an eye
casual dropping of slurs and just general abuse suck too
Final score:
19points
cartoon.ghostss 1 year ago
Yeah that's scary. I know that if I got injured or killed in a transphobic attack very few people outside of my circle would care and it wouldn't make the news, but if I was cis, it'd be all over. People seem very determined to pretend we have gender equality
#11
Never feeling like you can show affection to your other half - my husband - in public, for fear of being “caught”. Chances are that no one would care. But you’d still get the odd look, maybe abuse. But to spend your life touching one another’s hand discreetly and stealing a kiss when no one is looking always reminds you that the world isn’t as accepting as it claims to be.
Final score:
17points
Charlotte Stackhouse 1 year ago
That’s so sad! I’m sorry for what you go through. Reading this reminded me of a time when my dad and a friend were laughing about how they looked like a gay couple with 3 kids. I liked it then, because 1. I didn’t know what gay meant. 2. They were laughing, so it MUST be something good! Now I’m slowly trying to understand the hardships that people are cursed to go through, just because they love someone, or they want to be someone else, or they ARE someone else! There’s so many interesting people out there, and instead of being inspired by that, people make that the reason to throw hate around at every occasion. It’s sad, but there’s nothing we can do to change it but stand strong. ❤️
#12
Abrosexual demigirl:
I’ve been told by members of the LGBT community that abrosexual isn’t real. Yes it fooooooking is!
And also constantly being deadnamed. It hurts.
And finally, my family won’t let me go to a specialized therapy for my PTSD because the therapist uses pronouns so she’s automatically woke. We don’t have much choices here due to insurance, and I’m actively struggling.
Final score:
16points
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago
Your family sounds s****y. And abrosexual is real. Good luck ❤️
Marinasongs1432 (Submission author) 1 year ago
Thank you. Ignore the troll, zey are just stupid
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LokisLilButterknife 1 year ago
I am so sorry that you are receiving such push-pack from your family and some members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Gate-keeping within the LGBT+ is sadly a thing and it extremely cruel and hurtful. Sexuality is a spectrum that may change as we get older. Abrosexual is indeed a recognized term for sexual fluidity. The Trevor Institute even mentions it: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/research-briefs/diversity-of-youth-sexual-orientation/ I truly hope that you are able to find a therapist that works with LGBTQIA+ youth or a caring friend that you can speak to with out. Nobody deserves to have their sexuality discounted
GhostlySnail (she/her) 1 year ago
What does abrosexual mean? Not trying to be rude at all, I am curious and feel ignorant not knowing.
Marinasongs1432 (Submission author) 1 year ago
Ignore the troll. Zir out to get my blood as I banned one of Zir accounts. Abrosexual is the fluid attraction, basically gender fluid but for attraction. One moment I can like enbys and the next, no one, and a week later I can like wimmin lol (spelled it wrong on purpose).
Load More Replies... A gay cat man (he/him&Tré/Trè) 1 year ago
demi girls are the kewlest, also how did you find out that you are abro, I'm unsure rn, so looking into things?
Marinasongs1432 (Submission author) 1 year ago
Thanks! I found out by honestly, looking it up and the description of the changing of who you're attracted to frequently. I just knew.
Load More Replies...
#13
Among all the bullying, killings and other slag we deal with, one i personally find the most exhausting is when people who are uneducated on the topic scream about how bad we are.
Like, there are people out there who actually think that being a part of the LGBTQ+ means that you are a pedophile and the whole community is a ploy to get their kids (wtf). People who think that being transgender is a choice or that the parents of trans kids somehow failed. People who think being gay is some new trend and that it is unnatural. People who somehow cannot accept the fact that gender is a social construct and that intersex people very much exist.
It is annoying to constantly correct them on things they could learn by using Google...or maybe just paying attention in high school biology classes.
Final score:
16points
#14
Not being able to tell my parents because im afraid of how they will react.
Final score:
15points
#15
being barked at by kids at my school who apparently can't tell the difference between queer people and animals gets annoying
Final score:
13points
#16
"you'll turn the children gay!!" well ur turning them straight, so....
"that goes against my religion" No👏one 👏cares. also worry about ur self u do u and ill do me.
also why is being gay, lesbian, bi etc. automatically sexually? like ur son having a crush on a girl is cute but on another boy? its because "there unsheltered and r going to be stripers and blah blah blah. "
well 1million other things but i got to go.... love u alll , stay safe and we are here for a safe community so f off trolls
Final score:
13points
I-am-bubbles!(she/her/cat) 1 year ago
This 👏 is 👏 genius I never thought about the “turning children gay” that way. Thank you for imparting some wisdom to the rest of us.
#17
Queer Christian here- one of the biggest issues I've seen is people not realizing they can disagree but shouldn't harm. Just because you disagree doesn't mean your right, and it gives you NO right to hurt others who disagree with you.
I think it's ok to disagree with the LGBTQ+ community. But even though it says you shouldn't be queer in the bible( it's funny, actually, all it says is no gay marriages or intercourse, so technically I can still have a boyfriend lol), a lot of people do things that the bible goes against. Physical harm? Child abuse? Hating others because of their opinion? All of these things, and more, are wrong in the bible, yet, it seems like we've seen that somewhere... hmm... Also let me tell you, it says "no gay" like twice in all 2,000 so pages, and it talks a LOT about treating others with kindness and respect.
I truly believe prophets then saw our time, and that's why they keep repeating it over and over again. It's also why the 2nd greatest commandment, only behind "love thy god", is "love thy neighbor". That includes, and definitely isn't limited to: queer people, atheists, people of other religions, people of other skin colors, people of all ages, people of other political views, and so, so much more.
If Jesus Christ, our Lord and savior, came down today, he would treat everyone with respect- Even us queer people. There is nothing we can do to change that.
It is kinda ironic that there are some queer atheists who have a better chance of getting to heaven that some devoted christians lol
Final score:
12points
#18
There's a group of dumb kids who try to look cool in my PE class. They would always be like "Ewwwww that's so gay!" as something bad or gross. Like, they look genuinely disgusted.
I even remember when I was in elementary school 5th graders even PATROLS would insult each other by calling each other gay.
They would say to each other: "EW, BRO, are you gay?"
"I'm not gay, gross!"
What's wrong with being gay? Even if you are not, let's try to be acceptable to all sexualities, races, gender, culture, etc. Why is "that's gay" being used as an insult? Some rude people always think gay is some kind of cooty or germ.
Final score:
12points
#19
People assume being LGBTQ is your whole personality. Oh, and people view you differently. And people think it's just a phase.
Final score:
11points
A gay cat man (he/him&Tré/Trè) 1 year ago
it's 1/4 of my personality. gay, cat, man, bass guitar.
#20
jerkwads (my own mother called them a******s) misgendering and deadnaming me, as well as calling me slurs. like, STFU. to quoth taylor swift, "You need to calm down, You're being too loud"
Final score:
11points
#21
The saddest part of being lgptq+ is that I can't really express or share my feelings of being pansexual because it will start some arguments and trolls will be...well, trolls, duh.
Final score:
11points
A gay cat man (he/him&Tré/Trè) 1 year ago
*to the tune of the darth vader theme for no reason* pan pan pan pan pan pan pan
#22
I don’t usually tell people, but when I do tell people my preferred pronouns for example (she/they), I sometimes get told that my pronouns are invalid because ‘they’ is a plural pronoun, not a singular one, and that the whole non-binary stuff is bs and “you either identify as a girl or a boy, no in between.”
There are also people who say my sexuality isn’t valid (I’m abro) and constantly telling me “what if you wake up and suddenly don’t like your partner’s gender anymore” and that kind of stuff. All of this makes me embarrassed and I know I don’t have it as hard as some of you out there but I guess I just needed to vent a little.
Final score:
11points
Vix Spiderthrust 1 year ago
The singular use of "they" is at least six hundred years old. Anyone telling you it's exclusively a plural is ignorant.
#23
Thinking someone is a good person, and then realizing that they're not going to respect you or people like you based on factors that are beyond your control.
Final score:
10points
#24
not quite the hardest part, more of the most annoying. but when i came out to my mom, ever since then she always a) forgets then needs a reminder or b) always asking questions such as "how does it feel when you have a crush on a girl?" or "what makes you think you like girls?".
Heres some treats!!🍪🍪🍪🍪
Final score:
10points
#25
Having to deal with the absolute s****y a******s who don't think we're human beings.
Final score:
10points
I-am-bubbles!(she/her/cat) 1 year ago
coughs to cover up an a$$h0le in the comments. Also I love your pfp
#26
The casual microaggressions, definitely. If I call them out, I'm sensitive and should learn to take a joke, so I've learned to just shut up when someone's being transphobic. In terms of being gay, I've never really encountered anything negative other than a lack of other gay people my age. Being trans is the hard part, especially with weird pronouns
Final score:
9points
#27
Honestly… never feeling “normal”. Being gay is completely and utterly natural, normal and ok. But we are - and always will be - a statistical outlier. An anomaly. Less than 5% of the population, 10% at a generous stretch. So no matter what we tell ourselves, or how accepting the world is, there remains a sense that you’re not quite the same as most people.
Final score:
9points
#28
i'm trans, i deal with discrimination, misgendering, and transphobia/homophobia every day. i hate it. dysphoria sucks too.
Final score:
9points
A gay cat man (he/him&Tré/Trè) 1 year ago
even though it's physically impossible, dysphoria both sucks and blows
#29
Accepting myself at my 'advanced' age and still not being able to tell my five kids (ages 26-36)...
Final score:
9points
#30
My parents (as well as my entire family) are extremely homophobic and christian. They believe "if the bible says its wrong then you will go to hell for it". The way i see it, god loves you no matter what. anyways, my entire fam loves to talk about politics and whatnot when we have a family get together (basically every sunday) and about 45% of what they talk about about "how messed up the world is with all LGBTQ stuff" and they will go on rants about how wrong it is and i either A. have to agree with every word of it and say how stupid it is or B. go outside and walk around and cry bc i hate how unaccepting my family is. the only person i have is my cousin who widely accepts the community and she just comforts me while i cry. I feel like i can't be my real self around my family and it just makes me so upset. I love them so much but idk if i can keep pretending to hate the LGBTQ community around them. Like for example, i really like making friendship braclets so i made a rainbow one to celebrate pride month. I didn't think my parents would notice suck a simple act but my mom saw it and said "why rainbow? you better not be celebrating pride month. rainbows are only meant to be a promise from god to noah to not flood the earth ever again" and she starts going on one one of her rants about her hatered for the community and i just have to sit there and take it and pretend to hate them as well. i just want to be accepted by my family. I will never ever come out to any of them solely because of this. I feel like once i move out my cousin will be the only one i really stay in touch with.
Final score:
9points
#31
not being accepted by my own family, being told it’s just a phase or a trend. being afraid to tell my own friends not knowing how they’ll react.
Final score:
8points
Warpendragn 1 year ago
I truly believe that true friends will either accept you or return after they mentally processed it. It is also 100% fair to keep it quiet until you are in a safe position, whether that is online, with your friends, or moving to another place farther away from them.
#32
Purposeful misgendering, “correcting” my pronouns. For asexuality, “I haven’t found the right one yet” and stuff like that. Also, as much as I would like to continue the war against the transphobic trolls, that’s what they want us to do. So just report the comments, downvote, and move on. Love you guys 🩵🩵(unless you’re one of the trolls)
Final score:
8points
Jellicle bat (he/she/they) 1 year ago
Why do people feel the need to correct others on stuff about that person? I had people correct my first and last name and even the place i live!! I know the most about it.
#33
For me personally, it’s being terrified of my family because of it. My cousins, aunt, uncle, and grandmother are all what you would call “countryfolk” (to a degree, they aren’t over here milking cows) and my parents are absolutely not accepting. I was sent to a Catholic school because of this and honestly some people are idiots. We have little 10 year olds in some of the lower grades calling themselves “Alpha Males” while barely even knowing what that means. I did manage to find the queer kids tho.
Final score:
8points
#34
As someone who's bi/ace, I've seen hate from BOTH sides (I'm lucky enough that it's never been directed at me specifically, but it's directed at bi and ace people in general). Cishet people reject bi people for liking the same gender, gay people reject bi people for liking other genders. There's especially an issue with lesbians rejecting bi girls who have been with a guy, because they think it's "gross". Also, many people assume that being ace is some kind of phase or misunderstanding. It's not. (Obviously there are MANY people, both cishet and LGBTQ+, who are super kind and accepting, but there are still those who aren't.)
Final score:
8points
Mark Glickman 1 year ago
THIS^^^^ As a Ominisexual man I've had MORE HATE thrown my way from the LGBTQ+ community than the straight community!
#35
This is my second submission, but I forgot to mention: Seeing all the hate happening right now, especially toward trans people, and not knowing how to help. It's not fair that the world seems to be moving backward in terms of acceptance. If anyone has any suggestions for what I can do to support those whose rights are in danger, please let me know.
Final score:
8points
Warpendragn 1 year ago
I see a lot of supportive YouTubers working with the trevor project, for one. If you feel up to it, you can look into your local area and see what programs need assistance or funding. If you can't emotionally or others do such validly draining things, even letting your friends know you care and support them can make a difference
#36
Honestly, if you want some hard truth, it's having to deal with the bigots.
It's honestly so shocking that in 2023, despite it being observed scientifically in other species, you still think that being gay is a human error. Or that you have the right to know what's between someone's legs. Or that the young trans girl who just wants to do her business in peace is actually a r*pist in disguise. (despite the fact that statistics show that trans/lgbtq+/etc people do in fact, suffer more sexual abuse) Get real, and get educated.
And don't get me started on the religious crazies, letting a book tell you what to believe is crazy. If I turned round and said elves and orcs are real because it said so in Lord Of The Rings you'd all call me crazy. Believe in a god all you want, that's your decision, but don't use it to justify your pointless hatred towards the LGBTQ+ community and force it down our throats.
Final score:
8points
I-am-bubbles!(she/her/cat) 1 year ago
Not to mention a book written thousands of years ago that’s been translated multiple times and was scribed by (most likely) straight males.
#37
My school is an all girl’s school but of course there are trans kids too (I’m non binary). The teachers are mostly very good about using people’s preferred names and pronouns, but I often hear other cis students talking about how annoying and entitled it is that non-cis people ask that gender-neutral language be used.
It costs them nothing and can make a trans person feel validated.
Final score:
8points
ThatBlackCat⬛ 1 year ago
They are more entitled than you are. "Oh that person is unique? HOW DARE THEY NOT BE A CLONE OF ME, A "PERFECT" HUMAN? HOW DARE THEY?" (lol i can also guess they probably use "They" when talking about you behind your back.) People are morons.
#38
Right now, I guess it would be being the political punching bag for the Republican party to stir up fake outrage to distract people from their real problems. Accuse LGBT people, especially transgender people and drag queens of "grooming" kids and maybe no one will notice all the actual bad-for-kids things they do like cutting the SNAP budgets and refusing to tax the super wealthy to fund the childcare credit.
Final score:
8points
#39
Being Pansexual is hard... but coming out to my parents will be especially hard!
Final score:
7points
#40
The absolute confusion. I only figured out I was a lesbian a few months ago (originally thinking I was bi), then I figured out I was demisexual a month ago, THEN I figured out I was agender a couple of DAYS ago. It is almost a constant wonder if you really are what you think you are, and you might be questioning for years at a time before you feel comfortable. Some people never feel comfortable, I for one still question so many things, like am I demi, or am I just not very sex positive? Am I really agender, or am I not supposed to feel a gender? There are so many difficulties LGBTQ+ people go through, and heterosexuals don't understand or see why we have higher suicide, depression and anxiety rates. You might feel like you don't belong anywhere, or under any lable. It sucks and I really do wish anyone going through this the best. Also, here are your treats! 🥩🍔🍕🍖🍪
Final score:
7points
Warpendragn 1 year ago
I get that, what am I, self questioning. Try to be kind to yourself as you learn more and discover what they mean to you. And internal questions about trauma are valid. Humans change every aspect as they age and develop and this is no different. And in the mean time, tell you, as your best friend, you will support you through the whole journey.
#41
The fact that I can't be myself around my parents. They are not homophobic, I'm just scared.
Final score:
7points
#42
Can someone please explain to me how being trans works? Like, once they transition do they automatically become they/them? Or if they start as a boy and become a girl can they just be a girl then? Please try to help me understand this if you can. I would really appreciate it. I'm really interested in learning more about it but I'm having a hard time understanding it. I just find trans people really interesting and overall outgoing and fun people. I'm kinda scared to ask my trans friend because they can be kind of sensitive about the subject. Happy Pride Month btw yall 🏳️🌈😁
Final score:
7points
twilight (he/they) 1 year ago (edited)
It’s kinda a long process (transitioning) but they’re still their gender (female to male trans person is still male before they transition). And said trans person can use whatever pronouns that they feel most comfortable with, even if they haven’t transitioned yet. I hope that answers all your questions, if you have anymore though, feel free to ask (sorry, I’m not very good at explaining things). Happy pride! 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈
#43
For me, it's because I have an ex-girlfriend (I'm lesbian). If you're bf-gf breaks up with you, It always comes back biting at you. You'll get over it. But, in the meantime, don't let anyone judge you because you're queer. Us LGBTQ+ Pandas love you either way!
Final score:
6points
#44
All the hate is definitely hard. And also coming out. This is just personally my experience but I found it really hard to tell people because I had no idea how they were going to react. I didn't tell anyone for a while and I am still working on telling my parents but that was definitely hard for me.
Final score:
6points
#45
So um last month I came out about being non-bianary to my parents I now live with by bf and bff(there siblings)
@the goodest boi🥞🧇🍧🍨🍦
Final score:
6points
#46
What do you mean you're ace? You've had a boyfriend! You just must have had bad chemistry with him. (sigh)
Final score:
6points
LokisLilButterknife 1 year ago
As a biromantic asexual women, asexuality is a spectrum. People who identify as asexual may enter into homoromantic, biromantic, and even panromantic relationships with others. Some asexual people may be aromantic which means that they do not prefer a relationship which is totally valid as well.
#47
The constant fear that we might be killed or hated just for being us. Fearing that our rights might be lost even more then they are and worrying that I would never be accepted with my different pronouns and sexuality.
Also the “you’re just confused”.
Because somehow that never happens with the heterosexual people I know…
Also here’s your treat @The goodest boi: 🍰 🍦
Final score:
6points
ThatBlackCat⬛ 1 year ago
LEMME PAY FOR THEM TREATS FOR THE GOODEST BOI!!!!! I'M GONNA SPEND ALL MY MONEY BUT I DON'T CARE IT'S FOR A GOOD CAUSE!!!!!
#48
Hello goodness boi!!! Here is a taco 🌮
I am bi, and I think the hardest part is having people be like
Them: “oh, do you have a boyfriend?”
Me: no
Me: *waiting for them to ask about a girlfriend*
Them: *nothing*
Me: btw I’m bi
Them: yea but you still like boys so…
I think people often just choose to look over the fact that I also like girls… and I can’t say anything because I do technically also like dudes. And ladies. And non-binary daisies. Everyone, basically. But people only ask about the ‘straight’ partner.
Final score:
6points
Person 1 year ago
This gets really annoying, especially when you’re closeted, my grandparents talk about how one day I’ll have a boyfriend and my brain is just like, I’m Omni (preference to feamales), I’ve had two girlfriends before, they both understood my closeted-ness, and I know this is turning into a rant, but they also talk about me getting pregnant and having a child, I’m never going to have sex, also if you’ve made it through this rant thank you, and also here are some treats for goodest boi 🍔🌮🌯🥪🍕🍟🥓🍿🥟🍳🥞🧇🍪🍩🧁🍦🍨🍧🍮🥧🍰🎂🍭🍫🍬
#49
Explaining queer experiences to straight people. I have this one straight friend who was confused as to why I laughed when someone put in a chat "Noooo, not the lesbians! Who killed the lesbians??" She didn't understand that compared to the slurs and other terrible experiences I go through, that comment was the highlight of my day. For some reason straight people struggle to put themselves in our shoes and it gets exhausting trying to explain every consequence or interaction to them.
Final score:
4points
#50
knowing that when I fully come out, I'll likely lose at least half of my community
Final score:
4points
#51
I think that part of it might be being treated differently, transphobia/LGBTQ-phobia, or having people forget that I told them that I'm trans. I'm FtM and came out to my family five months ago, and have requested that they start using different pronouns for me and plan to request to use a different name soon. My parents keep forgetting and calling me she, referring to me and my sister as 'the girls', etc and it really hurts. My grandmother isn't even bothering to try. It really hurts me.
Another hard part is being scared to go out and walk around in the city, because what if someone figures out I'm trans/queer and tries to hurt me because of it?
Here are some treats for you from one good boi to another: 🍪🍩🧁🍦🍨🍧🍮🥧🍰🎂🍭🍫🍬
And another treat: Have you heard of a site called TrevorSpace? It's a site for LGBTQ+ youth and young adults ages 13-25, and it's really helped me.
Final score:
4points
ThatBlackCat⬛ 1 year ago
Yayy so many treats for @the goodest boi! I told you, friends are family, and family on BP is amazing! ❤️❤️❤️❤️🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️
#52
Watching the world regress and hate on LGBT+ people, and being able to do nothing about it. Also watching powerful people taking advantage of that and spreading misinformation that *we* then have to attempt to counter. Honestly, it's exhausting.
Final score:
4points
#53
How homophobia is normalized, how lgtbq+ is considered mental illness by some people, and how people purposely deadname and misgender people
Like seriously, the hell, people?
Final score:
4points
I'm a Furry, so what? 1 year ago (edited)
Mhm. Lucky for me, my pronouns are they/she, meaning I mostly use they/them pronouns but I won't correct my parents. 😅😅😅 also the MF "the vaccine gives you autism" BULLSH*T THAT PEOPLE SPREAD LIKE AUTISM IS A VIRUS. IT LEGIT IS NOT I HAVE HAD IT SINCE I WAS BORN ITS A CONDITION AND A DISABLITITY THATS HARD TO DEAL WITH.
#54
im bisexual im coming out tomorrow yea idk what my fam gonna say
Final score:
3points
#55
Having to deal with the people that are so offended by the fact that you're not good little "straight white xtians" (Yeah, I'm from Flodiduh and have to deal with so many people every day).
Final score:
3points
#56
Me parents don’t believe I’m Bi they say it’s a phase also this isn’t rlly related but I have a crush on 5 ppl one who is a video game character 😃
Final score:
3points
#57
For me, the hardest part of being gay is that we are still fighting for our rights. I started fighting 40 years ago...and felt very hopeful and progressive, eventually winning the right to marry. In 2023, we are going back to square one. I am now 77 years old, and my greatest fear is that this generation of young gay people, who were not here for the AIDS crisis and aftermath, do not have the spirit to fight back.
Final score:
3points
#58
As a queer Asian teen, here are some hardships I’ve gone through.
Living in a country that’s very conservative, not to the point of being LGBT+ is a crime but enough that most people around you don’t really think or use your preferred pronouns even after you tell them. Then, after 2-3 times you don’t want to let being LGBT be your entire personality and drop the subject and rarely ever bring up your pronouns again.
Questioning at a young age and everyone not taking you seriously and telling you that you are confused when you have evidence and just are afraid to tell them about your multiple crushes and them telling you that the majority of them don’t count because they’re fiction (which I can understand, but still you have had irl ones).
Being scared to come out to people you have feelings for because they most likely are either straight or will just treat you differently and that’ll just completely ruin your friendship.
People your age just completely disregarding and humiliating you when you try to correct them into using your preferred pronouns and people not understanding trans people and mocking the idea of transitioning and surgeries that help trans people transition, etc.
Not being able to ask for help or feel valid because no one you know is LGBTQIA+ and not trusting anyone enough to tell them everything your feeling and thinking, not even a therapist or diary, because you feel like you have to be this person that you’re not all the time.
Final score:
3points
#59
When I got a pack of LGBTQIA+ pride rainbow stickers, Pride planet stickers and a pack of cute Black cat stickers, I realised I was missing a roll ofstickers of pride flags. I asked my mum, as the package had been torn open, and she said to me, I AM NOT JOKING, "Are you sure you want people to think you're gay? I mean, Are you gay?" when i said no, and that I just wanted to support the community because I am passionate about it, she looks skeptical. Now I wear those stickers on my laptop case at a school of 2000 people, half of them awfully homophobic, and I am proud. I have had people bully me because I have a hidden disability, Because I'm AroAce and Agender, and because I have a close relationship with my BFF. I even was bullied before I knew I even had Autism. But now that I know, I can help myself. To @the goodest boi, BE YOURSELF! If you have a friend with an accepting parent, ask to stay at their house. Don't let them use their stupid religion as pressure. If you love yourself, you don't need anyone else. And to all my Furries, Queers, (nice) Cishet peers, I bid you all a happy life. Be Proud! 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
Final score:
3points
#60
The attempts at justification by those who are blatantly queerphobic. I've seen loads of queerphobes attempt to brag about how selfless they are for 'helping us'. Bullying does not help anyone. Nor does being an @$$hole
Final score:
3points
#61
Holding on to my faith. I was raised a non-practicing Catholic in a dysfunctional home. Met my wife and her wonderful family in my late teens. They were a very close and loving family with their Protestant faith at their core. They were (and still are) what every christian should be - loving, non-judgmental, accepting of the individual regardless if they agreed with the lifestyle, supportive, genuinely caring, gave their time/money in service to others in need (without fanfare and behind the scenes). If all Christians were like them, everybody would love Christians.
After 25 years of marriage, I finally accepted I was a gay man and divorced the most wonderful human/woman I have ever been blessed to know. Broke both our hearts. Broke her parents' hearts. However, they STILL keep loving he stuffing out of me - without judgement.
But, here's my battle. In this crappy U.S. MAGA-maggot filled world, so many supposed loving/caring Christians consider me a "lesser than" and a disappointment. In the equally crappy judgmental U.S. gay world, so many supposed loving/caring gays consider me self-loathing and foolish for hanging onto my faith.
Guys, Jesus was a liberal. Jesus befriended the poor, the downtrodden, the prostitutes, the forgotten, the non-Jews. He didn't care about where you came from or who you were ... he cares about where you are going and who you are. He loves me ... because I am alive. YES, I KNOW, Christianity has more than its fair share of grotesque history; However, Jesus was NOT a participant and neither is He responsible for the crappy people who do despicable things that they claim is done is His name.
Final score:
3points
#62
oh god this is gonna be long.
my dad telling me that (I'm genderfluid) he cant keep up with my pronouns so i need to pick JuST OnE GENdeR like i understand it's hard to call me my pronouns after calling me a girl for a while but the least he could do is respect it
"there are only two genders".......it's scientifically proven that there are more than the X and Y chromosomes and I'm sick of people denying it.
"ace people don't exist they just haven't found the right person yet" Honestly i feel so bad for ace people because other lgbtq members will leave them out of the community. 1: they exist it's exactly like telling a lesbian you haven't met the right man yet. it's just as condescending and rude 2: when another lgbtq+ member tells you you don't exist thats another form of homphobia. (please do not hate on me. honestly i'm still trying to figure out everything for myself and i have a hard tie finding good sources to research things like this if im wrong pls let me know)
there's honestly hundreds of things that are really hard for the lgbtq community but if anyone needs someone to talk to in the comments feel free
*gives the goodest boi treat*
Final score:
2points
ThatBlackCat⬛ 1 year ago
Oh my god my poor Ace friend! I feel you! (I'm AroAce, and this suuuucks.) (Also because Social Media and everything is scary for me, because one wrong click on Pinterest and I'm looking at kids shows turned 13+ 🤮🤮🤮🤮)
#63
As someone who has been quite vocal in the fight against homophobia for years, (usually with great backlash) one of the things about it for me (I chose this example as not many people really seem to be taking action against it, I have many bigger points I could make but others have already made them all) it’s the the amount of people who say “it says in the bible that homosexuality is a sin” to those people I leave you a quote from the tv series The West Wing (S2Ep3)
(A modified version of http://westwing.bewarne.com/second/25admonitions.html)
Do with it what you like.
A talk show host defends calling homosexuality an "abomination" by saying that that is what the bible says in leviticus 18:22 (that verse reads: "you shall not lie with a male as with a woman; such thing is an abomination. ") this annoys president bartlet who proceeds to ask a few pointed questions about just what one should accept from the bible."i'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in exodus 21:7. She's a georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent italian, always cleaned the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? " "my chief of staff, leo mcgarry, insists on working on the sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police? "here's one that's really important cause we've got a lot of sports fans in this town: touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7 if they promise to wear gloves can the washington redskins still play football? Can notre dame? Can west point?” "does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother, john, for planting different crops side by side? Can i burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads?”
“think about those questions, would you?"
Exodus 21:7 "when a man sells his daughter as a slave, she shall not go free as male slaves do."
Exodus 35:2 "on six days work may be done, but the seventh day shall be sacred to you as the sabbath of complete rest to the lord. Anyone who does work on that day shall be put to death."
Leviticus 11:7-8 and the pig, which does indeed have hoofs and is cloven-footed, but does not chew the cud and is therefore unclean for you. their flesh you shall not eat, and their dead bodies you shall not touch; they are unclean for you."
Deuteronomy 22:9,11 “Don’t plant two kinds of seeds in your vineyard. Otherwise, the entire crop will have to be forfeited, both the seed that you have sown and the produce from it. Don’t wear material made from wool and linen mixed together.”
Thanks for those who read through all of that, here is a cookie, 🍪
Final score:
2points
I'm a Furry, so what? 1 year ago
Hiiiii Stormifyed! I'm trying to be as vocal as possible too! AT my school we have a "wear it purple day" where we can wear purple and pride stuff. But lately it's annoying to all the queer students because it is ONE DAY. Teachers aren't allowed to put up Pride flags during Pride Month and neither can students. Also the purple day isn't even in Pride month. Its 9 weeks past it! And our latest rule is that we can only wear purple and rainbow stuff if we BUY IT FROM THE SCHOOL. WTF. But I'm going to wear my purple skirt, purple Lei, rainbow cape and give out Pride flags to my bffs! IDGAF about haters. :DDDDDDD
#64
My best friend from childhood is gay, and he had to change his voice to a more “manly one” every time he spoke to somebody new or somebody that didn’t know he was gay (so practically everyone). This went on from out childhood to when he finally came out to the world at age 25. Almost 20 years have passed since the coming out, and honestly, these have been so far the happiest 20 years of his life.
Final score:
2points
I'm a Furry, so what? 1 year ago
Aww. Sending hugs to you both, and here's a kitten boop to send to ur Fruity BFF! images-202...d980e.jpeg 
#65
I get alot of hate for being bisexual and alot of people don't understand because I'm in a heterosexual monogamous marriage.
Also religious people who use their religion as a weapon thinking they are superior. Remember it says in their nook who their messiah actually hung around with.
Final score:
1point
#66
As a bisexual, when people say “so you’re half gay/straight?” It drives me crazy sometimes!
Final score:
1point
I'm a Furry, so what? 1 year ago
I mean, if you're laughing and they aren't using it against you and are meaning it as a joke, then it's all good, but yeah, that is annoying. Me and my Pan bff describe being pan as 1/3rd gay and 1/3rd straight, and then taht extra 3rd is *panicc* or we say being omni is being a "Picky Pan" lol! We all laugh along and she's the one who makes the jokes.
#67
I’m genderfluid, and I can’t count the amount of times that people have told me that I can’t just switch all the time. I have to choose. I get that it can be annoying for some people, and I really do feel bad about that.
It’s also how people act so different around me once I’ve come out to them. It’s like… I’m the same person, I swear!
Final score:
1point
I'm a Furry, so what? 1 year ago
Have a talk to them about it. Like a proper deep talk. Explain how you are just the same and haven't changed, but that you know it's a hard thing to process, and that both sides need support form the other. Then discuss everyone's gender and pronouns to make it so it's not all about you and so everyone feels included. It'll be okay! :)
#68
that you're never fully 'out,' and you'll probably be having the same conversations (which may be exhausting or stressful depending on where you are in your journey) your entire life.
I'm Ace/Aro, and I recently started a new job. I'm going through the "so, do you have any kids?" and "are you married?" phase yet again. Depending on how those initial conversations go, there are two outcomes I typically experience. first is an immediate follow-up conversation that includes the likes of "why not?" "i'm sorry" or "you're missing out." The second, my new coworkers will let it pass until the holidays or a company event, something where employees are given a +one, I will then be reminded that I could have "brought a date."
Final score:
1point
I'm a Furry, so what? 1 year ago
Aroace besties! I get the "ooh he's cute" all the time from my mum. She once even made a joke about me marrying one of my male friends and I couldn't look at him from embarrassment and disgust. And a few days ago I went to the park with my Pangender friend but as I was leaving I told my dad "let me know when you and [my lil bro] are coming down to meet us" and my dad said "why? so you can stop whatever you guys are doing?" I had to leave in like 5 mins cuz it was so awkward and I felt physically sick. -_____-
#69
i send the goodest boi dog treats and hugs (my account needs 2 be approved :/)
Final score:
0points
#70
i once got put in a chokehold for being gay in school
Final score:
0points
Audrey Rasmussen 1 year ago
oh god do i need to kill someone, i will, i mean itll take some effort considering the small amount of info i have but ill manage
#71
I don't deal with a lot but the immediate dismissal of any identities people don't get is exhausting
Final score:
0points
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) (Submission author) 1 year ago
Also do head pets and/or scratches count as treats even if it's not food?
#72
Aha! Does anyone else have siblings like this? I haven't come out to my brother yet. He uses "gay" as an insult, sometimes to replace words like "weird" or "bad". Whenever I do something weird, he'd be like "that's so gay" or "you're so gay" (once, I nearly said "yep, you're right! I am gay!"). I once told him to stop using gay as an insult, and he did. For about a week. Then he started to do it again.
Final score:
0points
Audrey Rasmussen 1 year ago
if ur gonna come out to him i recommend waiting until one of the worse ones and then saying 'you know im gay right??' only if tho just making sure you know the best way to come out to someone like that, in general, i also recommend using the older definition of gay (happy) so that if you wanna come out you can say 'im gay' and if its a bad reaction you can just be like 'i said that im happy whats wrong??' just to play it safe
#73
The constant fear around family members who you haven't come out to and always worrying they don't support you.
Final score:
0points
#74
That being LGBTQIA+ is only a small part of who you are, yet that's all people see when they find out. Also the inappropriate questions e.g. who's the man in the relationship? How do you have sex etc.
Final score:
0points
#75
Pan (maybe omni) Nb here! 1. Gender dysphoria sucks. 2. Having to hide who I am constantly for fear of being exorcized. 3.I'm Christian, and I have found 0 proof against gay in the bible. Believe me, I checked. Repeatedly. 4.Being told that it's just hormones. 5. being told that I'm what I'm born as. Like, Good god Annalise, just let me be a being of chaos.
Final score:
0points
#76
Being scared to go out in public, scared of using services, scared of the police, being *constantly* vilified by the media and politicians and having no voice of our own.
But even in a society that isn't horrobly transphonic, being "weird". Everything -- adverts, media, products, language -- assumes straight and cis. It's being constantly reminded that we're not normal, that our experiences aren't shared by the overwhelming majority of the population, that the childhoods we endured are not just foreign but utterly alien, and the constant mental gymnastics to interact with straight society when our brains just work differently.
Final score:
0points
#77
The fact that you’re going to have to ask yourself “do my parents love my unconditionally?” And be prepared for the fact that the answer might be no
Final score:
0points
#78
Being asked for advice about fashion when you don't care about fashion
Final score:
0points
#79
As a pansexual girl, the hardest part is probably when me and my girlfriend are walking in public and ppl are like "OMG y'all are so CUTE and have SOO much COURAGE" y'all might think it's "woke" but it's rude to say so much courage, also 🥧🍦🍩🍪
Final score:
0points
#80
Being an older black lesbian, it's hard to find someone and back in the day I wasn't allowed to
Final score:
0points
What do you think ?
I aM dA sQuIdDy SqUiD sQuId 1 year ago (edited)
Ok everyone report Schnizz on as many things as possible to try to get him banned he deserves it. Upvote this comment if you agree
Sooploosh MacSchnibble 1 year ago
This "Schnizz" guy has been here a long time with at least 10 other accounts. Reporting him does nothing. Personally, I think boredpanda should IP ban him.
Load More Replies... twilight (he/they) 1 year ago (edited)
good news: Schnizz was banned, bad news: there are a bunch more, don’t even acknowledge them guys, that’s what they want us to do, just downvote and report hateful comments and posts. Love you guys✨✨
The goodest boi (Post author) 1 year ago
Agreed, just ignore, don't respond.
Load More Replies...
The Chocolate Gecko 1 year ago (edited)
Today I was unfortunate enough to find out who Schnizz is. Ugh, gross to see this on BP. But the post was nice :> also, just checked and he upvotes his own comments :l
Sooploosh MacSchnibble 1 year ago
I'm a femboy, but I keep it hidden for my Uncle and Dad's sake. I don't really care, but I know they wouldn't understand and they'd just be upset and sad. They'd worry i'd kill myself (they both think the 41% thing just happens for no actual reason, and that they just do it because they're trans) and they wouldn't know the difference from being trans and being a femboy.
I aM dA sQuIdDy SqUiD sQuId 1 year ago (edited)
Ok everyone report Schnizz on as many things as possible to try to get him banned he deserves it. Upvote this comment if you agree
Sooploosh MacSchnibble 1 year ago
This "Schnizz" guy has been here a long time with at least 10 other accounts. Reporting him does nothing. Personally, I think boredpanda should IP ban him.
Load More Replies... twilight (he/they) 1 year ago (edited)
good news: Schnizz was banned, bad news: there are a bunch more, don’t even acknowledge them guys, that’s what they want us to do, just downvote and report hateful comments and posts. Love you guys✨✨
The goodest boi (Post author) 1 year ago
Agreed, just ignore, don't respond.
Load More Replies... The Chocolate Gecko 1 year ago (edited)
Today I was unfortunate enough to find out who Schnizz is. Ugh, gross to see this on BP. But the post was nice :> also, just checked and he upvotes his own comments :l
Sooploosh MacSchnibble 1 year ago
I'm a femboy, but I keep it hidden for my Uncle and Dad's sake. I don't really care, but I know they wouldn't understand and they'd just be upset and sad. They'd worry i'd kill myself (they both think the 41% thing just happens for no actual reason, and that they just do it because they're trans) and they wouldn't know the difference from being trans and being a femboy.
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