ADVERTISEMENT

This is your one opportunity to forget all humility and any pretense of down-playing. For this brief moment, you may become as narcissistic as you want to be in those late-night thoughts and remembrances. Be positive. What was some great thought you had, some awesome kind stuff that you did, some talents you have, some awards you've won, some tasks you've done 'all by yourself'? Brag! Brag and brag and brag! Fill the pages with your obvious glory! Burn us with your shine! Banish the pessimism and self-doubt from your mind as you pour out your greatness and drown the world in it! Go! Now! Be as arrogant, vain, and over-hyperbolic as you wish to be. Boast about your trials overcome, your tragic pasts, your amazing awesomeness! Set free the, 'I was the one that did that! I was so nice here doing this great thing! I was the only one that did the work! I am so utterly gorgeous!' that we wish filled our hearts today! Praise and exalt yourself like the universe will applaud you because sometimes you deserve to be applauded!

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

Three degrees (2 Undergrad 1 with Honours and 1 Masters)
Represented state/country in 3 different sports
Bought my dream acreage property with zero help from family

Report

Final score:
19points
Beanz' Mum
Add photo comments
POST
View more commentsArrow down menu

You May Also Like:
#2

US Army veteran. Started off in military intelligence (I've heard every joke) as an Electronic Warfare Signal Intercept Operator. Later became a Nuclear Weapons Specialist. Neither remotely as glamorous or interesting as one might think.

In civilian life eventually became a licensed Nuclear Reactor Operator. (Control room operator) Saved and contributed aggressively to employer sponsored 401K and retired after twenty years with house paid off and enough to live comfortably for life.

I was one of few women to work these professions.

Report

Final score:
18points
Xenon
Add photo comments
POST
View more commentsArrow down menu
#3

I'm year 8 and still don't have TikTok. Don't plan on downloading it either.

Report

Final score:
17points
TheUndeadOfNight726
Add photo comments
POST
jenjoyner avatar
Xenon
Xenon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good for you! Stay smart and don't fall for peer pressure to download it! I'm proud of you.

Vote comment up
11
11points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
#4

Finally I can brag about this! Some 20 years ago I was cycling to work and spotted a thief running off with a bag from a hapless tourist. I drove my bicycle on to the sidewalk to block him. And that's when I realised I was a small girl and he was a big guy. We looked eachother square in the eye, both uncertain how to proceed. Finally he just threw the bag at me, pushed my bike aside and took off. The tourist reclaimed her bag with a short "thank you". And when I arrived at work my collegues didn't believe my story, so I never spoke about it again untill now.

Report

Final score:
13points
October
Add photo comments
POST
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#5

I passed the Ohio bar exam, first time, a year after I graduated, with a 9 mo old and a 2 yo. I was mighty proud of myself, especially since my wicked SIL, who had just graduated, and had no kids did not pass. She was evil to me until she died.

Report

Final score:
12points
Sheila Reinhard
Add photo comments
POST
View more commentsArrow down menu
#6

I have been clean off drugs for 16+ years, got clean first and only time ever going to prison. I have a pretty great life that I worked hard for. I don't celebrate any of these because most people outside of my family don't know.

Report

Final score:
11points
FABULOUS1
Add photo comments
POST
View more commentsArrow down menu
#7

I did my bachelor degree program (and got my degree) in 1 year, and I played music for our queen once. I wanted to say more but imposter syndrome just kicked in.

Report

Final score:
10points
Moosy Girl
Add photo comments
POST
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#8

I'd love to brag about my modesty.

Report

Final score:
10points
trevor
Add photo comments
POST
rubber1duckie6 avatar
The Amazing Fluffernaut
The Amazing Fluffernaut
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is this board game Everdell, great game, where the most humble player goes first, which I love

Vote comment up
2
2points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#9

I killed a mass murderer and saved the forest multiple times. Oh, I also am extremely famous and everyone thinks I am the most legendary cat ever.

Report

Final score:
9points
Firestar
Add photo comments
POST
View more commentsArrow down menu
#10

I'm going to college next year at fourteen years old and I got a 36 in English on ACT practice tests on Friday. If my life goes as planned, I'll graduate from vet school at the age of 22 (with the help of dual enrollment). And I finish my longest novel yet in three weeks, stopping at 200,000 words. I'm trying to give myself some pats on the back but I kinda just tell myself to do better or I'll never get anywhere. No one wanted to listen to me at home, so... hi, everyone :)

Report

Final score:
9points
Echo
Add photo comments
POST
dork avatar
Temporary Dork
Temporary Dork
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, you're doing great! Life never goes as planned, but you sound like the kind of person who'll be able to handle the yeets & yoinks.

Vote comment up
5
5points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#11

I'm a better cook than my older brother! This isn't much of an achivement considering he can cook ramen noodles and plain pasta, but at least I'm better at him than something.

Report

Final score:
9points
Catman (He/Him)
Add photo comments
POST
View more commentsArrow down menu
#12

Mine isn't too impressive but here goes. Many years ago; I love cheese sauces but hate the ones that are thickened with starches. After many failures I heard of this food additive called sodium citrate and read it was an emulsifier. At the time I couldn't find ANY info online about using it with cheese so I just started experimenting with it and different methods, and figured it out eventually. The most basic form of this is just the additive, cheese, and water. It makes a perfectly smooth sauce and the flavor is all cheese; almost any cheese(s) you want, as long as it isn't too low in moisture. I eventually found a proper food-science article about it and it was nearly identical to what I had figured out years ago.

Report

Final score:
8points
Austzn
Add photo comments
POST
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#13

I mean, I bragged a little when I was younger, but it was a while ago so nobody really knows what it was. But, back in 3rd grade, a bunch of schools in and around my district held a reading competition. I was in my school's team, and we won after 11 tiebreaker rounds. It was so much fun, and while I don't talk to anyone from my team anymore (a lot of time has passed) I enjoyed it and have a newspaper of it hung up in a frame in my room!
My dad took me out to get frozen yogurt after, and it will forever be a fantastic memory in the back of my head.

Report

Final score:
8points
Novadoe (She/They)
Add photo comments
POST
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
#14

Back around 2006 or so, I got put in charge of a huge technical project involving updating computers and technology for a large law enforcement agency. I had zero experience in any kind of project management at the time. Long story short, I brought the project in sooner than required and over $1,000,000 UNDER budget. The transition was a massive success. My boss at the time had no qualms at all about giving me such a huge thing to deal with. He had complete confidence in me and the support he showed me has stayed with me throughout my career and through many other projects. He was awesome.

Report

Final score:
7points
One legged Steve
Add photo comments
POST
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#15

I have amassed an obscene amount of playing card decks and plan to get more as the opportunity presents itself. Also, I was right! I do have autism!

Report

Final score:
6points
oddly_informed_raven
Add photo comments
POST
alexbeal_1 avatar
Alex Beal
Alex Beal
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're a definitive genius savant. I am cognizant of having a congenital learning disability in the spectrum of autism. No one explained it to me. Not even my narcissistic biological mother. It's how she has a power of attorney over me. No permission required when it is legislated. Anyway! I enjoy Bicycle playing cards for their art work. BEE playing cards feel better, though.

Vote comment up
2
2points
Vote comment down
reply
#16

My father robbed me of any joy I could've had from saying this, so 10 years after the fact, I'm celebrating and bragging here:

I got a 97 on the ASVAB! (The ASVAB is the aptitude test you take when applying to enter the military to see what jobs you qualify for; the highest possible score is 99)

Report

Final score:
6points
Tracy Wallick
Add photo comments
POST
View more commentsArrow down menu
#17

i almost got ran over once but got to the side walk before it happened. idk if it counts as a brag but i've always wanted to tell people, but couldn't

Report

Final score:
5points
𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚖𝚌𝚛𝚘𝚠𓅨𓍊𓋼𓍊
Add photo comments
POST
#18

Not to brag😏, but I was actually 13 when I started 9th grade...(Because I have a fall birthday and was home schooled early on, so I was really young whenever I started a new grade.) So go me!!

Report

Final score:
5points
GURL BOSS
Add photo comments
POST
austinl avatar
Austin L
Austin L
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Go you. My oldest child was this same age entering high school for the same birthday timing reason.

Vote comment up
4
4points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#19

I’ve won a skate competition against high schoolers (im in middle school)

Report

Final score:
5points
egg
Add photo comments
POST
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
#20

Was a Boatswain's Mate in the US Navy, on board the aircraft carrier USS Carl Vinson (CVN-70). Part of my watch-standing duties included being the helmsman of the ship (essentially, I had a driver's license for the world's largest warship at the time). Being a helmsman is nothing like driving any other kind of vehicle. The Captain or the 'gator (Navigator) tells you to steer a certain number of degrees port or starboard and come to a particular heading (0 degrees = north, 90 = east, 180 = south, 270 = west). Once you're there and you've reported it, you need to keep the ship within 1 degree on course, though there is some leeway in stormy weather.

Well, after doing this for a time, I realized that I was noticing a particular sensation in my knees whenever the ship was listing to one side or the other. A little bit after I noticed that sensation, the ship's instrumentation panels would show that we were listing, and I would have to correct the movement of the ship to try to keep her on course.

Soon after realizing this, I started figuring out how to use the sensations in my knees to adjust to the ship's listing in real-time, much faster and more accurately than the instrument panels allowed me to do. It wasn't long before I got a BZ (Bravo Zulu - Navy slang for "Well done") from the Captain himself for my excellent helmsmanship. That actually happened several times.

I am in contact with many of my fellow boatswain's mates on Facebook, as well as others who served on my ship. I've asked about it repeatedly, but I have yet to find anyone else who ever was able to do that. I don't know if it's just because they never realized it was possible, or if my body was just particularly sensitive, but apparently I was a better helmsman than any of my other shipmates.

Report

Final score:
5points
Eric Johnson
Add photo comments
POST
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#21

i've been an emcee before and i may be one again!!!

i love being an emcee! makes me feel more confident about myself :DDD

Report

Final score:
4points
shanila.pheonix_
Add photo comments
POST
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
#22

I won a TV quiz show, but wasn't allowed to tell anyone until it was broadcast, which it finally has been - 10 months after recording it. I also invented a technique for processing large datasets that's 5 times quicker than IBM's stated "best practice".

Report

Final score:
4points
Apatheist Account2
Add photo comments
POST
View more commentsArrow down menu
#23

The Border Patrol was giving out 3 scholarships for students in the justice field. I won 2nd place by starting my essay saying this: “ it was a warm afternoon in July , when I decided to cross the American side of the border illegally “.

Report

Final score:
4points
Angelica Victor
Add photo comments
POST
#24

I built a bunch of cool things out of legos and still do. I think I read more than 1300 pages in a month. Somewhere around there, it way the chronicles of Darkstar and first 3 books of Eragon. and helped get a goat to eat again (which I don't think worked sadly). Invented several modes of sticks ( the game where you get your fingers to five and then your hand goes out) same month, at camp.
But what I am most proud of that happened recently is how I got Bell's palsy, defeated Bell's palsy, built a lego Tantive all in the week before school.

Report

Final score:
3points
The Amazing Fluffernaut
Add photo comments
POST
mica0987654321 avatar
OneHappyPuppy
OneHappyPuppy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was 5 when I started 1st grade, and was the second person ever at my then uni that needed a parent to come for registration - since I was legally underage and didn't have an ID. Ok that's not the bragging part, that was rather humiliating... Bonus - the first person that also had to have a parent present? My now husband.

Vote comment up
2
2points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#25

I was fluent in english and hungarian, could navigate an airport with ease, pack a suitcase in ten minutes, and change in a car in under 30 seconds by the time I was a teen, for staters.

Report

Final score:
2points
Pizzaking, village burner.
Add photo comments
POST
ajgood17 avatar
Pizzaking, village burner. (Submission author)
Pizzaking, village burner.
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

Vote comment up
0
0points
Vote comment down
reply
#26

FIrst time I was in an airplane, I got to fly it

Report

Final score:
2points
Scam_Likely
Add photo comments
POST
#27

When I was deep into my 20's, I was at a party. There was a keg out on the porch. I filled two red cups of beer, one for me, one for my friend. Then, with a smile of confidence on my face, I walked towards the open sliding glass door dividing the kitchen from the porch. The only problem with this scenario was that the door was DEFINITELY not open. With an attention grabbing *THUNK-THUNK* (first my knee and then my forehead hitting the glass at full forward-walk force), I smashed into the door, crushing the two cups of beer against my torso, sending the cold, foamy fluid in all directions, soaking myself instantly. No one made a sound. No one even laughed! I tried to play it off with a lame-a$$ comment like, "Wow! THAT wasn't embarrassing," but that only made the crickets-chirping silence more awkward...wait, was this a "brag" question?

Report

Final score:
1point
Kevin the Manager
Add photo comments
POST
jeneenmartin avatar
Jen Mart
Jen Mart
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know someone who did that and got cut terribly I am glad you are ok

Vote comment up
0
0points
Vote comment down
reply
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#28

There are many notable and sacred sites on the 33° latitude. From Easter Island to Stone Henge. This was brought to my attention in 2014 watching "Zero Point" volume one on YouTube. A year or so later I watched another feature on YouTube. "The Ark of the Covenant by John Hutchinson". He built a scaled down model using the very schematic and discovered that it is an enormous electrical capacitor. In 2019 I realized the most enigmatic puzzle humanity has ever known, and this realization has an otherworldly communication involved:

During a pole shift, Earth will not have its magnetic field, leaving the entire planet susceptible to solar flare. A problem once solved. Once being the only solution. The Pyramids of Giza focus the bombardment of solar flare during a pole shift into one concentrated ring around Earth. Instead of everything being scorched beyond recognition, the damage is marginal. The path of destruction is the 33° latitude.

The Sun isn't "burning". It emits electrical radiation which does not become thermal temperature until it reaches our atmosphere. The excess is deflected by Earth's magnetic field as seen in the skies of Alaska. The Aurora Borealis. The Pyramids of Giza are not mausoleum. No pharaohs have ever been exhumed from them. They are a gigantic lightning rod. I solved nothing. It's justly realization. I may as well "brag" here on Bored Panda, because "I told you so!", isn't going to be afforded. Earth's surface area is going to be leveled. This is why there are so many dinosaur fossils, completely intact, versus the scant remains from the Ice Age. The dinosaurs didn't have the Pyramids, and neither do we! They are STILL lain inoperable and that next pole shift is right around the corner.

My apologies for the length. When I'm bored I try to save the Earth and the world within it. I did a little more than "try". So, nanny, nanny. Boo-boo. I'm the one who explained the mystery. Had the "Ark of the Covenant" not been removed from the Great Pyramid. There wouldn't have been a "mystery". It also hasn't made its way back there yet. That'd probably be a great start. Just ******* ******* MAYBE.

Report

Final score:
0points
Alex Beal
Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!