I have a family member who I don't know how to help her.

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#1

Everyone else feels like a loser, too. None of you actually is, though.

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Christian Golden
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#2

Don't let anyone crush your spirit. My personal victory was enjoying learning and life in spite of being told things like I looked like Andre the Giant. Tall, fat teenage girl. Those people were the one's working fast food after graduation. I morphed into the cool coworker, aunt, girlfriend who didn't spend time judging people. For extra spite, my career path and open mindedness allowed me to retire comfortably at 55. Freshman angst and shenanigans doesn't have to affect your personal trajectory. Ignore the negative noise if you feel you are doing the right thing.

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A girl
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#3

I would encourage her to check out extracurriculars related to things she enjoys.

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MrsFettesVette
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#4

Such a stressful time for us all. So many factors and influences. Don't compare yourself to others. Let yourself be imperfect and make mistakes. You learn amazing things by listening that way and also a kind gift of freedom to yourself. If you're confused or over, speak up-ask for help. Usually most are grateful you did too. Don't absorb bullying behavior or criticize others. That feels rotten to anyone. Take advice and help that feels right for you. Everyone has life issues that aren't obvious. I was helped by a teacher and also a stranger to get out of 1 AP class when life was demanding. Excellent advice for me. Be kind to yourself especially

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Lori E
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#5

There are no stupid questions

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C.PHIL
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Andy Yates
Andy Yates
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1 month ago

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#6

There's a difference between being cool and being popular. Cool can mean trying to fit into some sort of clique or standard. You can be popular by just being nice to everyone. If you can walk down the hall and say, "Hey, how's it going?" to all the people you pass, that's popular. The most popular kids I knew in high school were simply nice, friendly, compassionate, charismatic people who took a genuine interest in other people (and therefore met and got to know a lot of people). Cool was almost the opposite of that, and the "cool" kids tended to just hang out with the "cool" kids, some of whom didn't even like them.

You don't have to be cool to be popular. If you want to be popular, be nice* to everyone.

* When I say "nice" I do not mean be a pushover. I mean, be kind, have a good heart, get to know people, be a good friend, a good listener, and say "hello," to the people you meet.

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blixten1982
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#7

yall, if your guy watches andrew tate or is mysoginistic, break up with him. youll thank me later.

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Nylah
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#8

I was heavily bullied through junior high and for much of high school. I know full well that the adults do nothing effective, and that "just ignoring it" has never made it stop. So my tips are based around surviving bullying.

—The most important thing is to know the people who genuinely like you and appreciate your company. Be they students or adults, seek them for shelter whenever things start getting ugly.

—If you find yourself in a situation where people are encouraging you to fight, try to find a way out of it even if it means running away. There's no dishonor or shame in it. It's more humiliating to be lying in a puddle of your own blood, or even worse, standing in a puddle of someone else's. If traveling between classes try to stay on Camera (like CCTV security cameras that most schools have installed.) Remember that if you are grabbed or touched, it is assault.

—In the words of a certain Star Fleet captain, "It's possible to make no errors and still lose." Sometimes the bullies will corner you and legitimately try hurt you. In those situations, it's okay to fight. You have to defend yourself. You're not trying to win, you're just trying to get away. If all else fails, fight for the stalemate or to maim. Fight dirty; honor and shame mean nothing if you're crippled because some spoiled rich kid's dad doesn't hug him enough.

—If you have to fight, know that law enforcement will get involved. You have to make them understand that you believed that your well-being was in danger, and that you had no choice, even if you were goaded into striking first. Also, expect to be punished. To avoid legal action between parents, schools like to discipline both students equally. Be prepared for this, accept this. Your only request should be that you not be required to spend any time with your bully(s) unsupervised.

—Don't bring personal belongings to school unless you can live without them. Those items are targets. Bullies will use them to torment you by stealing/breaking them.

—Keep items you need for school (text or notebooks) as close to the classes as possible, in personal lockers. Try to carry as little with you on your person as possible.

—Try to make friends with the teachers. Be cooperative and participate in classes. Teacher will instinctively protect students they like more, simply by interacting with them. Don't be afraid to tell them who your bullies are and how they have been harassing you. A teacher's input can have a huge influence if the bully escalates things later. This is doubly true for admin staff like principals, councilors, and even the school nurse.

—Graduation is goal. Get through high school with the highest grades you can. After high school everything changes. In most cases the pressure comes off. College and the Workforce are typically much more mature environments.

I hope these help. My high school experience was a personal hell until I fell in with a bunch of metal-heads in my last year. But if I'm being honest I hope no one ever has to use any of my tips.

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Angelshark
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#9

Nothing stays the same. Not you, the others or life. S****y teens does not mean s****y life.

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sturmwesen
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#10

Practice Basic hygiene. I swear I went into a high school this past week and it was rank. Somebody needs to clue kids in about soap and deodorant.

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John Dilligaf
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#11

Keep up with schoolwork!! If you let yourself fall behind, it can be pretty hard to catch up.

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Aerial (Any pronouns/Canadian/Jewish)
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Aerial (Any pronouns/Canadian/Jewish) (Submission author)
Aerial (Any pronouns/Canadian/Jewish)
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because the app won't let me post more than 2 sentences: I know this one from experience, I have a pattern of lying about my homework, falling behind in most of my classes, and then absolutely panicking before exams because I'm not ready. Don't make yourself stress out that much, good time management is a big part of doing well in high school.

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#12

If you could describe your concerns, that would really help. I can only give some general advice, such as: The cool kids may not be good friends or serious about school and some might be bullies; Hang out with people with similar interests; If you have a talent, use it in activities - a teacher might even be a mentor; Try to do well in your classes and activities - this will help you when you want to choose a college, apply for a scholarship, and when you need references.

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#13

If you are in the USA, go to a private school or do home schooling. The US public school system is a total disaster.

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Justin Tyme
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BrunoVI
BrunoVI
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've pondered this a LOT, actually. We should be so grateful for good teachers because they are so rare. I went into teaching because I wanted to teach, but I think far too many went into teaching high school simply because they didn't know what to do with a degree in whatever they wanted to study, so they took education courses too. Wanted to study English? Teach English! Didn't get into med school? Teach biology! Chemists make s****y money unless they go to grad school? Teach chemistry! Not a lot of jobs for a [fill in the blank] studies major? Teach history! Can't function mentally with your own peers? Teach elementary!

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#14

if someone offers you d***s, just say no. its a spiral. it dosent matter how strong you think you are, you WILL get addicted.

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Nylah
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#15

I totally agree with user - (that's that pandas name, with a full black pp), especially the idea that the 'cool kids' might not be real friends. I could never be myself around them and ended up getting scolded by teachers a lot. You’ve probably heard this before, but my advice is to just be yourself. It’s tough to be happy when you’re not. I’ve been doing that for the past couple of years—always smiling, laughing, and joking around. It gets tiring, but there’s this urge to be liked by everyone. I’m not a people pleaser, though. If someone treats me badly, I’ll give it right back. Like, if a random person splashes water on me, I’ll do the same to them because they might laugh about it later when I'm not around. Anyway, just be yourself and be happy!

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Onyx Delson
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#16

Watch "Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion" and realize that having one good friend is all you need to make high school worthwhile. If you ever get depressed, realize that high school is really short, compared to the rest of your life. Put SAT review sheets near your bathroom mirror and learn vocab whenever you brush your teeth. Don't play collision sports - you can get C TE. Appreciate how great it is that you can move without pain, something that you take for granted now but won't when you get older. Invite potential friends to movie pizza night and it's a good way of creating your own social circle.

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Nicky
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#17

Say "hi" followed by the "name" of each person you see in the hallways. Other people love to be acknowledged and enjoy hearing their own names. This is a popularity hack that really works, although feeling popular is not really meaningful compared to having one or two really close friends who see you and appreciate you for who you are.

Take lots of AP classes to save $ by graduating college early. Don't take out loans to go to school - try for scholarships or start at a community college and then transfer to a good state university to avoid tremendous debt down the road.

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Nicky
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#18

What may seem like a big deal now will likely not matter four years from now. Fitting in is a huge stupid waste of time. Most of the people around you now will all change in four years, as will you. So enjoy being a freshman, take all the new things in and make the most of them. You'll only be a freshman in HS for this one time! The friendships you make will form naturally and the strong ones will make it through the four years - even if you just end up with one close friend and bunch of other people you just hang out with from time to time, you've gained one important person in your life.

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Mina
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#19

(1) If you need to get drunk to have sex, you're not ready for sex. (2) Student-Faculty ratios don't mean anything when 90% of the course listings are mentoring sessions for seniors, etc. The only way to know if you're going to get stuck in nothing but 300-seat lectures is to look at the class registrations. (3) So many of those ratings of universities are about things which won't affect you much as an undergraduate. (4) It's not exactly true that you should pick a major that sounds like a job; being an English major can get you into medical school, and a biology major isn't much more useful if you don't end up in med school. But plan out your course selections with your career in mind; If you ARE going to be a humanities major before going to grad school, learn what pre-requisite courses you should take

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BrunoVI
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BrunoVI (Submission author)
BrunoVI
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Somehow I read this as tips for a high school student about to become a college freshman.

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#20

Find the biggest baddest kid and kick their a*s, assert dominance and the rest of your HS years will go smoothly...

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Shaggy
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#21

Join as many extra-curriculars now, so you won't have to cram so many in, in the last year of high school.

Go about your business like it's no one else' business. Just acting a bit awkward, worrying about how you come across, bullies pick up on that and you will be an easy target.

During your free time, explore the school. The more familiar you are with it, the less you'll come across as a freshman.

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StrangeOne
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#22

Start researching colleges and careers now. Also. You don't need to go to college. Trade school is cheaper and more profitable.

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L Terr
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#23

Be careful not to gain the freshman 15 pounds. In my day it was the freshman 10 pounds.

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Julia Cargile
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#24

most ppl are homophobic asf. even if your not part of the LGBTQIAP+ community, steer clear of them, as normally theyre also just a******s.

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Nylah
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Onyx Delson
Onyx Delson
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Soo true, in the beginning of high school, some students were called gay even if they were not. They wouldn't have done anything, still they get teased... They joked about queer stuff, maybe im being sensitive but it feels very disrespectful.

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#25

if you are offered a scholarship or any such big oppurtunites, never decline n favor of friends. if they are real friends, they will understand.

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Nylah
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#26

romance s not a priority. there will be plenty of time later, but school comes first.if you have a crush, dont let it get in the way of your friendships. crushes are caused by hormones in your brain, and if whoever it is is also a friend, dont tell them about it until its a holiday. also, think about it logically; do you really love this person, or do you just like their aesthetic/personality? would you like to date, or just be their friend? if you dont know them, get to know them better. you may find they are acteually really s****y,and you dont want to get with a toxic person. dont date someont whos cheated in the past,they will cheat again.dont date your friends exes unless they say you can, friends are more important than a hormonal imbalance. if thay threaten you, dont kep quiet; report them! even if they say its because thay love you, thats manipulative asf.if they try to bang you, dont hold back; do whatever it takes to get away. punch,kick,scream, whatever.
especially if your in secondary, your probably gonna break up at some point soon. dont let them make you skip school,youll regret it.

or just dont date :)

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Nylah
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#27

in five yaers tops,no one will care abt how popular you were. get yourself a group of friends who are ever bit as freaky as you are.theyre the good ones.
a lot of popular kids peak in high school, ending up drvg addicted/struggling or in the case of our uterine-having allosexual friends, pregnant as teens T_T.of course , generally none of these things are their fault, s circumstances such as unseen mental health concerns, unsupportive families or abusive relationships Obviously, some escape this trap, but a lot dont, and you dont want to end up there too. with that said,see if theres a class gc. in 20 years, check bck on your old classmtes. if your rich and their struggling, old school rivalries dont matter anymore! (unless theyre a rap!st or were abusive or smth) if theyre at rock bottom , help them out! also theyre unlikely to sk for help, as if they were s****y to you in igh schol, that would be really humiting.just offer to help,then thay will take it. if you are the populr kid, make some wierd friends too! she will always be there fr you, and inviting her into your friend group will not only make you seem like a really bad@ss, but it will elevate her standing too.a lot of 'wierd' kids are depressed/su!c!d@l , and being there for them can actually stop a su!c!de.thats what she said at least.. not to mention wierd kids also are incredibly resourceful, and will always have an exuse to get out of a detentoin or such. im not even joking the nomber of times she saved my homework-less a*s isnt even funny at this point.

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Nylah
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