At the bus stop two elderly ladies were having a really long detailed conversation about one of their husbands and the ONLY potatoes he likes are tinned potatoes 😂 the other lady was shocked and was like ‘not even mash or chips??’ ‘no! he wont have it, only tinned baby potatoes from Morrisons’ ‘not even jacket potatoes??’ etc, it just seemed funny to have a half hour long conversation about tinned potatoes 😅

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Final score:

6points

Goth Mouse (he/they)

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Not super funny, but there were two girls analyzing the way that they made eye contact with a crush. They were totally over thinking it, and were thinking of different meanings and stuff. It wasn't that funny but I thought it was kinda weird how much they were overthinking it

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Final score:

4points

Anonymousplease

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Guy: Hi I'm the guy wearing green crocs.

Lady: Oh I'm so sorry I think I can't come out today.

Guy: Geez fine I'll change

Lady: I see you! I'll come there.

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Final score:

3points

That sarcastic asshole

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person #1: yeah I'll bring the lasagna
person #2: i asked for marshmallows
person #1: ...oh

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Final score:

3points

Bisexual_idiot

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This was during school, and we were doing compatibility tests for jobs we could like (MyBlueprint if anyone knows). Anyways, one of the options was Midwife, and two of the loud obnoxious boys next to me were talking about it. Here’s a very basic, very watered down replay of the conversation:
Boy#1: eww you can be a midwife!
Boy#2: haha you should take it
Boy#1: are you kidding? I could not handle birth.
Boy#2: why not? It’s just the stomach.
Boy #2 said that! Not even sarcastically! As if their isn’t a whole system? I’m honestly horrified for when he learns how pregnancy works.

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Final score:

2points

Bisexual Tiger 🇺🇦

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Inside a small bakery, just browsing for a treat. A clearly drunk guy, looking like the stereotypical frat boy, staggers in and walks up to the counter.
"Yo, can I get some pie?"
"What kind sir?"
"Uh.. the red.. you know, with the placenta lookin' fruits?"
A moment of pure, uncomfortable silence, and then the drunk guy keeps asking for placenta pie.
Finally the worker says "DO YOU MEAN CHERRY?!"
Drunk guy nods, falls over, and starts giggling.

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Final score:

1point

webster

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My two friends were talking, and I don't wanna reveal their names so I will just use random ones.

John: What is your favorite song?

Bobby: Darude Sandstorm

John: No, I mean seriously, not memes

Bobby: DESPACITO

John: *facepalms*

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Final score:

0points

ForThePeople he/him

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Just got back from getting water at wrestling practice, see very odd stuff you would expect from high school male freshman and wrestlers

Coach: Never in my 30 years of teaching have I had a student tell me "hey coach I'm getting my balls fondled in the locker room"
Some kid: ANDRES! I told you what happens in the licker room stays in the locker room!

Another one from wrestling
I return to the gym after dressing out

Kid: (Smacks coach's a**) Hey coach what you tryna do in the locker room later? *Kiss kiss noise*
Coach: I ain't no hoe you better take me to Applebee's!
Kid: AYO!?

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Final score:

0points

Outlawzen

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I was sitting at a mall, and I over heard a mother and her son talking.
"Honey, do these shorts look a bit long? "
The son stares at her.
"Mom, those are pants that are small on you."
I fell over and died. The look on the mother was confused and embarassed.

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Final score:

0points

Sequoia door.

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Convo between my little cousins, ages 3 & 5:

3: one… one time… one time, I pooped on the floor of Grandma Ruth’s house.

5: (says triumphantly) and I touched it.

Cue confusion

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Final score:

0points

the walrus

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I going to sue you
why
that ball hit me
it didn't hit you
I need to speak to your Principle
ma'am you can't go inside the school
*walks inside* *comes out with the principle*
I'm going to sue you(again)
you legally can't that ball didn't hit you and my student didn't do it on purpose
I'M TALKING TO THE POLICE AND YOU WILL BE FIRED
*fake-ly limps away*

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Final score:

0points

WE!RD_GOBL!N

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One time I was in a fast food restaurant and a guy was talking loudly on his cell phone. He didn't come across as obnoxious or anything, more like he thought he had to talk loud to be heard by the guy on the other end. "OK, I need to call this number and ask for WHO? JORGE? Well, I'm just gonna spell it how it sounds!"
There's no doubt in my mind that he ended up writing down "whore-hay".

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0points

Lori Rommel

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Well they’re not conversations but anyways…
“Apple in Spanish sounds like banana.”
“My butt feels rubbery”
“My grade is so bad it should be called a Z minus”
“I stalk all the Gideon Welles accounts on TikTok, I’m a superhero”

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0points

Happi doggi (all pronouns)

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"HAMSTERS ARE GOVERNMENT MADE!!"
"Carley, no they are not"
"WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW A WILD HAMSTER!??"
"Never, because they-"
"EXACTLY!"

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Final score:

0points

Slambamblam

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When I was on lunch break at a near bye Seven Eleven I was waiting in a very long line with the other people on lunch break. I was next to this one random person while I saw something that said “420 calories” and I started laughing while in the background 2 other people were arguing on which is a more humane way to industrially kill farm animals knife or gun.

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Final score:

-1point

Dragotherium

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