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Hey Pandas, What Advice Would You Give Someone Going Through A Rough Patch In Life? (Closed)
Hey Pandas,
I’m currently going through a rough part of life. I haven’t got a diagnosis, but I have severe symptoms of depression. Any advice?
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#1
The best advice I ever got came from my grandma, she used to say to me, "If it's meant to be it will" and she was right whenever something blew up in my face, she'd remind me, "it wasn't meant to be, don't worry something better will come along" and it always did. Even now if something happens, I just remember, it wasn't meant to be and something better is coming. And it always does. Divorce? it wasn't meant to be, something better is coming. Didn't get that "dream job?" It wasn't meant to be, something better is coming. That dream house / apt fell through? "wasn't meant to be, something better is coming." Just remember that.
Final score:
13points
Imtiredandiwannagotobed 3 years ago
With her level of wisdom, I can only imagine the cookies...
#2
Realizing that everything passes and changes helps me personally.
Final score:
9points
#3
If no one will listen - I will.
If no one will hold you - I will.
If no one will love you - I will.
If you cannot see the light I will guide you.
I will see the beauty in you until you can see it for yourself.
I will see the strong, capable person you are.
And some day soon when the storm settles in your mind, you will love yourself as I do.
Final score:
9points
#4
Be kind, understanding, and supportive as possible. Offer to listen if they can talk about and if they can’t yet, for whatever reason, let them know you are available when they can talk. Be present for people if you notice something is wrong or they act strangely, even if they act like everything is okay or that they don't need your help, they might be struggling a lot. Sometimes just knowing that there is someone waiting for you helps a lot.
Final score:
5points
#5
“Who’s going to chop your arm off?” Whenever I was dealing with something and breaking down over stress my mom would ask, “who’s going to chop your arm off over this?” It was her way of putting things into perspective. My assignment is going to be late? Sure, I’ll lose some points, maybe be reprimanded, maybe not do as well in the class, but I can deal with all those things. No one is actually going to chop my arm off over it. Got into a car accident? Yep, have to pay the deductible, rates go up, feel foolish, but nobody was going to come at me with an axe. It sounds so morbid and awful but it really helped me get out of my own head and get to the business of dealing with the problem at hand.
Final score:
5points
#6
If you are diagnosed with Depression, severe or otherwise, follow your care provider's instructions to a "t." Don't stop taking your meds because you "feel better." You "feel better" BECAUSE you're taking your meds. Don't be afraid to reach out for help. People will understand and support you MUCH more than you think. Also, take care of yourself. FORCE yourself to go for a walk- even if it's just to the sidewalk and back. Just keep moving even if it seems impossible. Some days you won't do anything and that's fine. Don't beat yourself up over it. Just try again the next day. Whatever you do, do NOT give up! NEVER surrender to it.
Final score:
5points
#7
the best advice i have ever gotten came from tumblr (lol). it goes something like "the grass is not greener on the other side. it's greener where you water it. so take control of your life and start making your grass greener. because then cows will come. everyone loves cows ;)"
Final score:
4points
David Retsler 3 years ago
The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side... and it STILL requires mowing.
#8
Keep your chin up, eye's forward, no one gets out alive anyways. Show them how strong you are by keeping a brave face.
Final score:
3points
#9
Talk to someone or 2 or 3 people who you can trust. It's better to get an outsider's view on what you're going through as by yourself, it's really easy to convince yourself that you're no good.
Remember that life always changes and things won't always be like they are now. Try to identify what the issues are that you have, make a list and try to address them one at a time, starting with the easiest. It's often hard to get things done even if they're basic things, so get into a habit of forcing yourself to completing small tasks. It should become a habit to do things then, which will help you feel better about yourself.
There can be an answer, but don't keep it to yourself as it will be a lot harder.
All the best.
Final score:
3points
#10
My Godsister once said, "if you are going through some tough times, you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other until you get to the other side" It might take a while, but I hope whatever it is, you triumph over adversity, and know that you do have a community behind you.
Final score:
3points
#11
My depression felt (Still feels like it sometimes) like storm clouds in my head blocking any light from getting in.
The clouds will clear, maybe not today, but they will and the light will come in.
Final score:
3points
Tiny Dynamine 3 years ago
You have the right attitude to think in that way. Great stuff. Don't ever forget that!
#12
Obviously, I have no idea what you or anyone else who has posted has gone through. But having lived with Bipolar for 45 years, in a family where depression runs rampant, having been through nearly countless medications and counselors, I speak from experience. The only thing that has helped me for more than a few weeks at a time, is prayer.
Final score:
3points
#14
Hello beautiful! I used to despise myself to be insecure and depressed, looking at the floor everytime I was in front of a mirror. My husband would hug me right in front of it and would tickle and kiss me until I looked at myself. He would say: look at those eyes!! Deep and fierce. Look at that raven hair! Look at that beautiful nose! You are such a beauty!! A sexy perfect godess!! We are still and will always be together and I assure that someday, sooner or later without even looking for it, you will find someone, that will be there by your side, a family member, a friend, your true love or whomever. All I can tell you by now is: It's okay to cry, to shout to fall into despair at times but think about the most beautiful things that make life worth living. Think that today someone, somewhere is marrying their true love. Think that today is the best day of someone's life. Think of every satisfying thing that you have noticed or any mindblowing happy coincidence you have known about. Think that every single day there are wonderful people, doing unexpected acts of kindness. Think that there are so many people that actually love you and you don't even notice how much they care. Cherish the good companions
Final score:
2points
#15
My Grandmother said, "You gotta use your faith. God walks with you always. So keep putting one foot in front of the other". TRUTH.
Final score:
2points
#16
When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on! (think I read that in Reader's Digest long, long ago)
Final score:
2points
#19
Depression is normal, especially during these times! Know that you're not alone in your feelings. You're a good, normal person who is going through a difficult time, like so many others. Spend some time contemplating the good in your life and the world. If you have some changes you would like to make, list them. Then, although it's hard to work up the gumption to do them, make a list of small things that you are sure you can accomplish. When you accomplish them, be sure to pat yourself on the back. We feel best when we are putting forth positive and treating ourselves well.
Final score:
1point
#20
This too, shall pass.
I use that as motivation. Everything that is thrown our way, we all push through together but always go back and see if there's any way we can help others struggling as well. That's why I went into the music therapy field. It may sound cheesy, but you gotta keep swimmin'. However, if you're feeling down, indeed, you should for sure talk to a trusted individual about it, be it an adult, teacher, friend, family member, etc.
Wishing you the best, mate!
Final score:
1point
Alina Sophie 3 years ago
'This too shall pass' is also a song by Ok Go, very right and uplifting and comes with an amazing music video! Music has magic helping hands!
#21
When I believe “I’m not going to survive this”-meaning money fears, car issues, people hating me, et al. I say, out loud- “Amy, you’ve felt this fear/terror before, what caused it & how long did the terror last?” sometimes i will remember being afraid, but i seldom remember what it was that paralyzed me in the first place. Then i tell my stupid self-“Amy, if you can’t remember the why & the when of it-you will certainly survive this & forget this one as well.” This works for me because i can get so caught up with fear that nothing else matters. Anxiety can catch us like a fish in a net, entangled in it, unable to escape..We forget that we are both the fish & the net. It may not fix any problems, but it does help to end the cycle of anxiety—that takes over every waking minute of my day. Added bonus-when i say things out loud, i make myself sound like my brother-who always thinks I’m an idiot. He always grounds me. My problems from outside looking in are smaller than they appear.
Final score:
1point
#22
I would really Like some I just got rejected by a guy I really really liked and it hurts so much to know he has and GF who he has been dating for 8 months I happy for him because he's happy except I wish I was happy with him so plz help because its impossible to get him off my mind.
Final score:
1point
Tiny Dynamine 3 years ago
The best thing to do is learn to accept it. We can't have everything we want in life and a lot of us have been in a similar position. I just say to myself that this one can't be. I respect that they are with someone else and hope they are happy. Whenever the person comes into your head again, quickly tell yourself that there's no point in thinking about it again as it won't change anything. This is a way of developing thick skin and feeling stronger inside. At the end of the day, this is life really and the best thing we can do is overcome things and realise that time goes on and we will get over things eventually.
#23
Don’t be hard on yourself. Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain. If your body didn’t produce the right amounts of moisture for your skin, you’d moisturise; if your body couldn’t control your glucose levels you’d take insulin. So if the imbalance in your brain can be addressed with the appropriate medication, take it! It’s not weakness and it’s not failure or giving in; it’s taking proactive steps to help your body do what it needs to.
Final score:
1point
#24
"you dont have to outrun the bear. just the slowest person."-my cousin
Final score:
1point
#26
BTS
their music gave me hope to start a new life and saved me from depression !
the group's leader's famous love yourself speech gave many people hope and encouraged to love yourself before anything else , which is also an inspiration to their music !
even if it is not the language you understand , they say music has no language !
i recommend to listen to their songs if you are going through something and have no one to talk to !
Final score:
1point
#27
There are good times, and there are bad times. Don't let the bad times stop you from living!
Final score:
0points
#28
Things that work for me:
Make a list of everything positive at the moment. It might be a small list to start with, but it will help focus on the things that are going right.
Make plans to do things you enjoy. The ease of this will depend on how strictly you are locked down at the moment, but I always find planning something I enjoy, like a meal out, a day off, a stay away, gives me something to look forward to and focus on.
Make yourself your #1 priority! Look after yourself and treat yourself at any opportunity.
I hope this helps.
Final score:
0points
#29
Get everything done then call a friend binge Netflix and don’t forget ice cream is always a goddamn option
Final score:
0points
Imtiredandiwannagotobed 3 years ago
Or blonde brownies, Google a recipe, if you can’t find one, I’ll spill mine :3
#30
If you have symptoms, try and see a professional to see if you need a diagnosis. It's daunting, but getting diagnosed puts you on a path to treatment and better times. Because there *will* be better times!
Final score:
0points
#32
Sometimes it feels like you have no control and everything is out to get you but you have more control than you realize. Pick something small that bothers you that you control and work on changing it. It can be as simple as cleaning out and organizing your junk drawer. When you are done you will feel better about that one thing and you can gradually work up to the larger issues. This will simultaneously help tak your mind off the larger issues and build up confidence that things can be changed for the better.
Final score:
0points
Josy Bannon 3 years ago
I like to do that too...I just never thought of describing it that well
#33
stand strong and zoom through pain because you only have one life so make the best of it
Final score:
0points
#34
It can Always get much worse. Try to think of things from a different perspective, and have things to think about that aren't personal, go outside alone to somewhere where it's silent. Out in the Forest or just in nature preferably
Final score:
0points
David Retsler 3 years ago
WTF? "You think it's bad now? Just wait!" What the f**k kind of supporting comment is that??
#35
Its okay always remember you are beautiful no matter what anyone tells you
Final score:
0points
#36
Seek professional help (if you can). Try things that you like and keep you occupied ore give you some peace (or joy?), like journaling, walks, painting, talking to friends, watching movies, gardening, cooking...whatever ist might be. Reward yourself for little things. And if you dont do or cant do anything at all remember thats okay too, dont blame yourself. Remember thoughts or things you did that helped you so you can develop a set of skills to cope and if you feel better for a while remember that feeling for darker moments so you dont forget that you can feel good too.
Final score:
0points
#37
Love something. Find something that makes you smile. Do something for others. I found love, or possibly love found me in the darkness, and depression never came back. Love will find you, just be open to it, if even a crack. Love wins, love wins...
Final score:
0points
#38
what I did was I talked to friends about it (hard right now, I know) and as cliche as it sounds, I got into meditation and harnessing your energy. It sounds like a lot of bullshit, but it really works. don't use this as an alternative to anti-depressants though, or therapy. I just use it as an escape and to help self-regulate. comment if you want to learn more!
Final score:
0points
#39
When your feeling stressed or angry, breath in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, breath pit for 8 seconds.
Final score:
0points
#40
Some words of wisdom my dad once gave me: even when things are going poorly, don't fall in the trap of saying, "Once ______ happens, then I'll be happy." It could be "Once I get a new job", "Once I get a new s/o", "Once I lose 10 pounds", whatever. You can't count on something happening to make you happy. If you do, you will just be unhappy but with that new thing, and you'll chase the next thing "that will make you happy." Find the good in the now, however small that good might be. Enjoy that small bit of happiness. Keep looking for and enjoying those small bits, and they will grow larger, no matter what else you get or don't get in life.
Final score:
0points
#41
Ask for help if you need it, keep asking, friends, family, medical professionals... peeps here on BP ;-)
My doctor told me depression is temporary, so know that it will get better. In the meantime practice self love, self care; eat well, get enough sleep, exercise (helps immensely), keep clean, stay in touch with supportive friends. Figure out little things that cheer you up, like walking in a forest, taking a bath or shower, getting your room clean and tidy, dancing to music. Do them often!
Do not drink alcohol.
Make a schedule for yourself, I write a little list of 5 or so small tasks each day and reward myself with a nice coffee and time to browse BP. I get lots more done and feel pleased about it. But also be kind to yourself, if you have a bad day, it's ok.
The biggest thing that helped me was to understand why I was depressed, this involved researching emotional needs that were not met when I was a child and how that affected me. Counselling (nearly 20 years ago) did not uncover it, but by noticing what upset me or got me mad, and watching youtube videos and reading up on mental health, I've finally figured it out and feel able to work on healing and finding meaning in life.
Life is what you make it, and very precious too! Take care x
Final score:
0points
#42
Be realistically optimistic: Any mindset you allow yourself to get into will lead to accepting that mindset as 'truth'. So don't think: "everything is s**t", but be realistic, and think: "Yes, this moment is s**t, but at least I don't have a fly in my eye". And remember: when you're down, things can only go up.
(The fly thing: Because as everyone should know: having a fly in your eye is the worst possible thing that can happen to you. Whatever problem you have is instantly forgotten, once you get a fly in your eye. At that point, your entire life revolves around getting that fly out....)
Final score:
0points
#43
Just consider the language you are using to yourself. A rough patch is just that a "patch" not an eternity. Like a "patch" of ice or on an elbow , it has a beginning and an end. You might be at the beginning, middle or end, but you have don't the first thing is to recognize it. In this quick, instant world we live in, we want a solution right now and honestly it might not be that simple. Diagnosis, therapy, talking to someone, self care, accomplishing simple goals, all might be the solution to fill up your tool kit going forward. So when the next rough patch comes (and it will) you will pull those tools out and get through it easier.
Final score:
0points
#44
Hey, me too. My advice is to do what you need to distract yourself. Play sports, read, draw, paint, listen to music. Another thing is to do what you need to do. If you need to cry, cry. Don't hold back. Wherever, whenever. I LOVE writing, so thats what I do. My aunt died a few years ago and that was hard for me. But I got through it, so so can you. Doctors think my grandpa might have cancer. A second time. After years of killing himself with kemo and other crap. And I don't think he is gonna make it if he has cancer still, but I keep fighting. So you need to to. My whole life feels like a rough patch right now, but keep going. U got this
Final score:
0points
#45
The one thing that I kept telling myself when I was in that place was “When you’re going through hell, keep going”. Just put one foot in front of the other. Don’t think about how much it hurts. Don’t think about anything except the next 5 minutes. Once you get through those 5 minutes, think about the next 5 minutes. Not any further ahead than that: just 5 minutes.
I am better now. I got through it. You will too.
Final score:
0points
#46
advice, advice, keep being nice
don't be so stressed even if your in a mess
even if your hurt, you don't need to shove away whoever you love,
Just think... does life actually have to stink?
don't listen to the bullies, you glisten like a rainbow every day
don't be a blind bully unstead be kind
it may be rough but remember you can always be tough
why do you care, you are you and you are rare
You are loved even if you are judged
I hope this poem is a positive yes and not a negative nope.
DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER EVEN if they have a disabiltie or have lost someone and are sad on zooms. Lots of people including me are going through a hard time. P.S always put others before you. - Sincerely Cate
Final score:
0points
#47
My Granny used to say that prayer changes things. Whether you consider yourself 'religious' or 'spiritual'; a little prayer never hurt anyone. To bring you a little levity (in hopes of making you smile a bit),...my Granny also use to say that some people praying 'for you' have worthless prayers that don't go any further than the the ceiling. LOL! So I guess she was particular about who she wanted praying for her. Personally, I welcome anyone who wants to pray for me. So my advice is to try to maintain faith and pray for peace of mind and I hope there is a brighter outcome at end of your rough journey.
Final score:
0points
#48
Sit down take deep breath and relax. Maybe this has happend before and yet here you are. So maybe you, deep down,know this too shall pass.
If you are in rough spot for the first time, re arrange your priorities. That is: you first. When you are better family is better work goes better and maybe then you can smile.
And never ever be too embarrassed to ask for help. That is a strength not a weakness.
When things fall into place and rough time has passed, take a moment to rest.
Excuse me for bad English, not my native language 😊
Final score:
0points
What do you think ?
Tiny Dynamine 3 years ago
Dear BP, can you make the comments box so that we can format things better? If we press enter to start a new line, it removes them, which isn't great when we are writing a lot.
Imtiredandiwannagotobed 3 years ago
You mean you DONT want to read a gigantic wall of scary text? What type of psycho are you?
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Tiny Dynamine 3 years ago
Dear BP, can you make the comments box so that we can format things better? If we press enter to start a new line, it removes them, which isn't great when we are writing a lot.
Imtiredandiwannagotobed 3 years ago
You mean you DONT want to read a gigantic wall of scary text? What type of psycho are you?
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