why is there so much f*****g drama on here now.

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freakingbee (she/they)

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UnimportantDog/Imp (she/her)

UnimportantDog/Imp (she/her)

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1 year ago

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Ikr, everyone is arguing and posts are getting spammed

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It’s getting harder and harder to keep living. Whenever I’m suicidal I vent here, but then I get better, but then I get worse. I feel guilty about seeking attention over and over.

My dad yelled at me because I got a b on a test but that was because the teacher didn’t teach us anything.

I suck.

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imp (any pronouns)

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Percabeth Forever (she/they)

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1 year ago

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Keep venting, its not attention seeking, I promise. Reach out to someone irl. And remember, your nickname is short for Important, because that's what you are. An important, caring, sweet, funny, and talented human being who deserves the world.

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UnimportantDog/Imp (she/her) (Submission author)

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1 year ago

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Thanks

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Percabeth Forever (she/they)

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1 year ago

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You're welcome. Is there a reason you haven't reached out to anyone irl?

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UnimportantDog/Imp (she/her) (Submission author)

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1 year ago

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Are you still here?

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UnimportantDog/Imp (she/her) (Submission author)

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If I do, my parents will know, and they will argue with each other over my mental health and I’ll feel really guilty about it because I hate it when they argue. Also I hate myself too much. But it’s getting harder to keep it to myself, because my health teacher keeps talking about the importance of good mental health. One part of me wants to listen to him and reach out, and the other part says everything will change and someone will make fun of me and I won’t get accepted into a good college and I’ll be a failure. Also I have trust issues, so I never actually tell anyone irl about anything going on. Sorry for the rant

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Percabeth Forever (she/they)

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Sorry I took so long, I was away this weekend. And I get not wanting to go to your parents, but it seems like you health teacher is a good resource. Don't listen to the negative part of yourself, it will only bring you down. Yes, some things will change, but that's just life. Everything is always flowing and adjusting. Reach out to your teacher, even if it doesn't help a lot, you'll have taken that first step, and once you've done that, the rest will come. I believe in you, Imp. And never apologize for venting, it is a natural and healthy thing to do.

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UnimportantDog/Imp (she/her) (Submission author)

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Thanks. I’m going to try and push myself to do something this week. Maybe I’ll go to the school counselor. Do you think he’ll tell my parents? He said everything is confidential unless I’m thinking of hurting someone. Does thinking that I have a mental illness count as hurting myself?

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Percabeth Forever (she/they)

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I'm glad, you should go to the counselor. He might, it depends on if you have suicidal thoughts or not. If you feel comfortable, you can ask him not to tell your parents yet, and just say that you don't feel comfortable with them knowing.

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UnimportantDog/Imp (she/her) (Submission author)

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I’ll go to my health teacher tomorrow, I feel more comfortable with him. Maybe I’ll go to the counselor at some point. And thanks for all the advice, sorry for dumping all this on you.

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Percabeth Forever (she/they)

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1 year ago

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How did it go? And of course, don't apologise <3

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UnimportantDog/Imp (she/her) (Submission author)

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It was okay. He basically said to talk to the counselor before it gets worse. I didn’t tell him about my suicidal thoughts though, just that I thought I had bipolar disorder because I don’t want my parents to know. I’m not sure if I’m ready to go to the counselor yet though. Maybe next week.

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Percabeth Forever (she/they)

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That makes sense, take your time

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UnimportantDog/Imp (she/her) (Submission author)

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1 year ago

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Thanks :) <3

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Percabeth Forever (she/they)

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Ofc <3

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Percabeth Forever (she/they)

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This comment has been deleted.

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1 year ago (edited)

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I don’t know why you were downvoted cuz this post seems totally innocent. Anyway, I don’t know you, but that sounds absolutely terrible. You deserve all the good things the world has to give you. You are smart, you are brave and kind, and you do not deserve to feel guilty. And you are *not* unimportant. Sending support.

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shanila.pheonix_

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1 year ago

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no u dont.

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Lex <3 (they/them)

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Based on your first few sentences I think we might be in a similar situation, aka the endless cycle of "feels suicidal, vents, but then feels guilty about venting and then gets worse again". I am not really sure I can give the best advice since I haven't really found a way to cope with this myself, but I will let you know that you're amazing, you certainly do NOT suck. You deserve to live and if there's anything else you need help with feel free to reach out to me or other pandas <3

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UnimportantDog/Imp (she/her) (Submission author)

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Thanks. Same goes for you. You seem like a really cool and awesome panda, and if you ever need anything, feel free to reach out to me and others <3

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Huddo's sister

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Hang in there! If possible, find someone else to talk to about your depression/suicide thoughts, like a psychologist or a family member because that might help you move forward more consistently than just venting on here, though you are certainly welcome to do that too! You don't suck, that's just your depression talking. It sounds like your mental health may be affecting your grades, or just may be bad because of your dad's reaction. If you get that improved, things might change, or at least you might be able to deal with your dad's disapproval better, as you will be stronger.

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UnimportantDog/Imp (she/her) (Submission author)

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The main problem is, I don’t want help. I want to starve myself of happy thoughts because I hate myself so much. I also have trust issues, and nobody knows anything about the real me.

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I don't like my mom but like my mom at the same time. She yells mean things at me everyday, compares me to my sister, occasionally hits me, and looks at her phone ALL the time.
But she teaches me, helps me when I am struggling and inspires me sometimes. Whenever I get good grades, she gives me presents and she doesn't shame me for drawing. Usually, Asian parents don't want their children to be artists. She's busy and usually takes care of me and my sister by herself most of the time. Sure she's stressed, but she shouldn't take her anger out on me, her failure.

I love and hate her at the same time. It is so frustrating.

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Bye! Pancake_Pansexual_Panda_

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Lex <3 (they/them)

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My dad is kind of the same way. He yells at me, forces me to be the stereotypical idea of “female”, shames me, sometimes hits me, but other times he’ll just be kind of nice, and do stuff like buy me boba tea or help me with stuff. Basically the way I think about him is “he’s human, humans make some mistakes in life.” Idk if thinking of your mum in that way might help you feel less frustrated? Sorry I’m not the best at giving advice 😅

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everything is stupid. i got a 97 on my test and my mom started yelling at me because apparently grades are not enough, and i need to do better. it’s never enough. and i’m really sick of everything. and everyone.

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𝓪𝓶𝔂

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Bisexual Axolotls

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I'm really sorry she did that, parents who get mad for anything less than perfect are the worst. I get the "sick of everything and everyone" feeling, but in my experience, it helps to try and write a list of things you enjoy or like, and then try to see/do more of those things. It sounds cheesy, but it works for me.

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Okay here we gooooo! I hate myself so f*****g much this year I started middle school so I thought I could have a new chance to be more social and be more popular and general but for some reason I can't escape my old self and I'm still the anxious mess I was in 6th grade I don't get why I can't just be normal. And my parents definitely aren't helping anything right now. Last night my mom told my sister (who is so much more social than me) that she needs to come out of her shell at school and I'm just there listening to this thinking "damn if she knew me for the person I am at school she'd probably hate me"
ALSO SPEAKING OF SCHOOL! I got cast as an understudy which sucks because I was one of TWO PEOPLE auditioning for a role in my thespian troupe's one act (which is basically a shorter version of a play) it's not that I'm mad at the other person who auditioned because she did good it's because I knew that wasn't the best I could do and I was being held back by my own anxiety and I feel like that's what's holding me back in EVERY F*****G ASPECT OF MY LIFE and I'm forced to sit here and suffer those consequences as I watch those around me get better at stuff that I can do because of... DRUMROLL PLEASE! ✨️Anxiety✨️ Idk maybe I'm just overthinking this like I do with everything :P I think I'm fed up with life

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《~ ɴɪᴋᴋɪ ~ 》

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Julie S

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Stop trying to be someone your not and embrace the person you are. I wasted a lot of time in school trying to be more popular and it was never going to happen because I was a shy bookworm geek. It took till I left school to realise this and now I'm much happier.

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God, why are the so-called "popular kids" in my school so rude? I mean they don't bully me, (I think, but who knows? Maybe they gossip behind my back, I dunno) but they bully kids who just act differently and talk a lot. They bully kids obsessed with anime, they bully kids who have ADHD, and they bully that nice smart girl who always raises her hand when a teacher asks the class a question. They bully the boy who asks many questions during class. I'm a seventh grader and one time of the bus I saw some of my classmates rip up a sixth grader's schedule. Basically, the popular kids at my school make fun of the so-called "weird people". They think they are at the top, they think they are royals and make fun of kids who they think are peasants. They gossip so much and do inappropriate things. I have a friend (we still are kind of friends). She is now in the "popular mean kids" group. She changed a lot. She and her friends now bully a gay sixth grader during P.E. During English she and her friends proudly said they bullied that gay sixth grader. The popular mean kids are hypocritical, they always say "Ewwww, that's gay!" (but most of the mean kids aren't straight, which confuses me) and they enjoy saying racial slurs. Popular mean kids are weird.

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Bye! Pancake_Pansexual_Panda_

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Lex <3 (they/them)

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Those don't sound like popular kids. They sound like complete a******s.

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F**k everything. I was buying clothes today with my dad and I pointed to this brown sweatshirt I kinda wanted, and he was like “no this one looks better” and pointed to a bright pink one. I made the mistake of saying “you only want me to wear that because it’s pink. Why do you want me to wear pink so badly anyways?” And he got mad (I can see why, I was kinda rude-) but then he was like “wear pink. you’re a girl” AND I WANTED TO FCKING KMS CUZ LIKE, NO I AM NOT A GIRL STOP FORCING ME TO BE ONE. Most people view me as a girl I can’t take this

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Lex <3 (they/them)

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Mermeow Overlord (they/them)

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1 year ago

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Does anyone else feel the urge to reach through the screen and slap him?

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Stupid mean brother, stupid mean people at school, stupid accidentally mean parents, stupid mean brain, stupid mean kitties that keep walking away when I wanna pet them, I just manna go walk across Kansas and find my best friend, and leave all the mean stupid awful stuff here. I want people in real life to leave me alone, except for my friends, of which I have none. I feel like I’m gonna explode.

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River wolf (she/her)

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River wolf (Submission author)

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1 year ago

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Argh autocorrect sucks and is wrong most of the time, what does manna even mean?

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hi. it’s twilight here. i hate myself. i hate living. i hate that i can’t focus and that i’m anxious every hour of the day. the line between fantasy and reality is starting to blur for me, i don’t know what’s real and what’s not, i don’t know who i am anymore. i’m making a plan to kill myself

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twilight (he/they/it)

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Lex <3 (they/them)

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1 year ago (edited)

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We should all form a cult where we convince each other not to die and do happy things (idk what happy things are but- I guess it means like, fun conversations or not negative stuff)

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I moved about a year ago and I've seen my friends only about four times in that year, it used to be about twice every month that I would see my friends, when I lived in my old neighborhood. I miss them and I feel like I should be interacting with people more. I feel like my friendship with them is falling apart. I feel jealous knowing they get to see each other often. I love My new house and all but sometimes I wish we had never moved

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𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚖𝚌𝚛𝚘𝚠𓅨𓍊𓋼𓍊

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Lex <3 (they/them)

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1 year ago

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Are you able to talk to them online somehow? I hope you get to see them more often soon though <3

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Why am I so powerless to help anyone, everyone seems to be struggling with something, I just wish I could do something to help.

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Mermeow Overlord (she/they)

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twilight (he/they)

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1 year ago

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mremeow you’ve help me so much. stop pitting yourself down :(

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Finally it’s almost fall! I can wear baggy sweaters to hide my skinny body because I have an eating disorder!

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Charlie Spring Fan (He/Him)

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Lex <3 (they/them)

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1 year ago

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:( are you alright?

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My anxiety is returning due to school, I am feeling fine at the moment but I will need to vent a lot more later in the semester.

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Mermeow Overlord (she/they)

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Lex <3 (they/them)

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1 year ago (edited)

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Mermeow are you ok?

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I need y’all to tell me fast and easy ways to die because I’m too much of a coward to do anything that takes longer than like 10 seconds. I was SO FREAKING CLOSE to getting run over by the car but I panicked at the last second smh. I just need some ideas, smthn that will let me get this over with before I can start rethinking my decision

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Lex <3 (they/them)

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Fly_Agaric_Frog (They/Them)

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1 year ago

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NOOOO LEX PLEASE DONT!!! please please please don't. It's not worth it. It will probably be a very painful last ten seconds, when a full life would be so much better. There is lots of awesome things you would miss out on if you die. Who knows? Maybe they'll build a colony on the moon? Just please don't die. We will all be so sad.

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Agsjahaghagaah I hate math class! And really, all of my classes are so stressful. And, even worse, I don't know how to subtly hint to my friends I'm nonbinary or Neptunic. Y'all can just talk to me if you want. I just need to talk some. (Typing that felt so weird, it seemed too short)

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Fly_Agaric_Frog (He/They/Any)

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Lex <3 (they/them)

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Do your friends support LGBTQIA+ people? When I came out to my close friends, I already knew they were accepting (and part of the community themselves) so instead of dropping subtle hints I just got straight to the point. If you don't feel comfortable enough to do that, maybe for some "subtle hints" you could just make certain comments that kind of allude to the fact that you're nonbinary and Neptunic? Maybe saying things like "you know what, I don't really feel that (feminine/masculine)"? I'm not sure for the Neptunic part.

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People keep misgendering me (purposely). My dysphoria is getting worse. I don't really have anyone to talk to about this because even though my irl friends try super hard to help me, they're cis so some things are just too hard to explain to them. I haven't (and probably never will) come out to my parents. My therapist knows I'm nonbinary, but like my friends, she's cis so some things I just really don't know how to explain to her. But I think my gender dysphoria is the worst it's been in several months. It feels like I'm suffocating. I really just don't know how to cope with everything, even though it's been over two years since I realized I was nonbinary. I just kind of need advice, yk?

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Lex <3 (they/them)

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Lex <3 (they/them) (Submission author)

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I just can't with how female I look and sound. I'm actually considering getting... uhm, surgery if yk what I mean, but apparently it's ✨illegal✨ in the state I live in until I'm 18. And not to mention my voice, it makes me suuuper dysphoric, no matter how hard I try to make it sound a bit deeper, it still sounds like a FREAKING UWU VOICE. I've considered/tried unaliving myself as well because I can't stand being treated and viewed as a girl. F**k this, life sucks

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my dog is in the hospital because she ate a poisonous mushroom! How fun! /s

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Lex <3 (they/them)

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UnimportantDog/Imp (she/her)

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1 year ago

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I’m sorry :( is she ok?

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God I hate algebra. I dont understand half the things, I dont know why they put me in it

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Toast4128 I'm/Him

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River wolf

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Yeah, I feel you. Algebra sucks, and also HOW THE HELL DOES ABSOLUTE VALUE EVEN WORK? They say it doesn’t work if the opposite side is negative, but when we split it it turns negative! It’s stupid! Stupid parents telling the school I should be in a high level math class.

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f**k everything I've decided when I'm killing myself.

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May(she/her)

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Lex <3 (they/them)

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NOOOO, you told me I shouldn't kms, so why should YOU? You're so much better than me, if I don't deserve to die YOU certainly don't.

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i really try to act nice and happy but sometimes people just..get on my nerves and i really cant anymore

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Sometimes I just want to die. I don’t know why, but I just feel blank. Other times I feel perfectly fine and content. I’m always scared after I’m done with those “episodes” on why I was thinking that and what would’ve happened if death wasn’t painful…since that’s the only thing stopping me. I’m also yelling at people and getting annoyed more easily than before. It’s tearing me up with how bad I feel afterwords but I just can’t stop it anymore. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. This all started after a certain moment in my life (which I will not post about), and I think this is some sort of coping mechanism?? Though, I have thought about what would happen if I died in previous years… I don’t know if that has a relation to anything. I know I need help, that much is certain.

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I can’t vent, I’m not the imposter, I was on cams and I saw Nathaniel vent.

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Wade

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Lex <3 (they/them)

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1 year ago (edited)

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uhm, I think you may have misunderstood the title 😅

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I'm gonna troll and spam and you can't do anything about it

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Toast4128

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Marinasingingalto

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Jamieboy, you ain't trolling, just bullying.

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"Your pathetic"
*you're

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Toast4128

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Maytheblahaj

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1 year ago

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I hope for someone to stab you in the balls

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"I can ignore you and deprive you of our reactions."
That is in fact hown you stop me. SOME people won't do this though *cought* The Tranny *cough*

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Toast4128

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Maytheblahaj

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1 year ago

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Your pathetic

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"James is not a troll. He is a harassing, stalking bully. James thinks that that is trolling. But it's not. James does not follow the basic trolling and cannot understand the difference."
I'm the stalker? look at amy

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Toast4128

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Lex <3 (they/them)

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1 year ago (edited)

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I hate to get involved but… but I mean, to be fair, you kind of *DID* give out all your personal info to Amy and the rest of BP sooooo… she didn’t really stalk you… *lex has left the conversation*

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