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Hey Pandas, This Is A Safe Space For Secrets You Want To Get Off Your Chest
It can be anything, really. If you have anything you really need to state but don't have a trusted person to speak to, this is your place.
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#1
As a 13-year old computer-nerd I almost tanked one of the biggest companies in the country's server-park including backups, by spilling a full can of pepsi in a server room. Noone saw it, and I'm still clear to this day. But man I was f-ing fast out of there :D
Final score:
82points
#2
Hearing people say that if a woman has a C-section that she is not a real mother is like a knife in the gut. I have two children and would have loved to have them naturally. The closest I got was giving birth (per say) to a miscarried child at 22 weeks. His twin was removed via D&E. A C-section is NOT the easy way out and it doesn't lessen the love a mother has for their child. People think before opening your mouth.
Final score:
74points
#3
I really like the movie "Tank Girl" and I don't mean ironically. I know its horrible but it brings me so much joy to watch it.
Final score:
59points
#4
I cant come out. I’m in a safe, loving home but I can’t.
To me coming out as bi means jumping off a cliff of safety into the unknown.
Final score:
52points
#6
I lied on my initial resume for work 12 years ago and I mean everything. Degrees, former jobs, and expertise. I have been with the same company and have been promoted multiple times up to director and run a team globally with around 1500 people reporting to me at any given point….I have to lie from time to time when people talk about my past and it kills me to lie but I love that I can support my wife and daughter without worrying about money. It’s a constant level of shame and pride.
Final score:
50points
#7
I’ve been depressed for a long time but I’m taking my time to find out who I want to be
Final score:
50points
#8
Actors and musicians and politicians need to stop spreading bullshit misinformation about COVID vaccines. We all need to get one so this can stop!
Final score:
48points
#9
TW for s*xual assault:
When I was 12 I was sexually assaulted by my nephew Who was an older teen at that time around 17 I think. It really hurts to keep this inside and not tell anyone at home about it but at the same time I feel like there's no point in telling them because all it would cause is family problems plus I don't I'll be able to answer their questions or explain it to them in details so it's just easier not to open up...I wish I opened up at the time it happened. I thought I forgave him for religious reasons but it still hurts me and I end up crying randomly sometimes, it's been 4 years and I still feel uncomfortable seeing him although I just talk and pretend nothing happened because that's what he does and I bet he'll gaslight me if I confront him about it
Final score:
40points
#10
my best friend moved all the way to the other side of the country and i miss her so much and i pretend im okay but in reality it feels like my life has no meaning anymore, and she was one of the only things keeping me alive. now that she's gone i just want to end it all but i can't tell anyone because im scared they'll just tell me "oh she's the one who moved she has it worse than you" and ik, i just dont know why its hitting me so hard and i hate it
Final score:
39points
#12
my secret is a black jellycat bunny plushie who comes everywhere with me in my pocket 😬 i know its stupid and theyre for babies and im an adult and a goth/metalhead but i have autism and squishing him makes me feel calm, id die of embarrasment if anyone saw him 😂
Final score:
36points
#14
I’m really angry at my husband who died 6 years ago. I’m not angry because he died, I’m just angry.
Final score:
32points
#15
My husband of 30 years died in an accident 2 years ago. I miss him and mourn him every day. My secret is that life is now better without him.
Final score:
29points
#16
I know the meaning of life, but I'm scared to tell anyone about it. But it does involve cake.
Final score:
28points
#17
I have a really bad case of negativity. I always map things out in the worst case scenario and it brings me and others down. Does anyone have any solution at all?
Final score:
27points
#18
ahaha I'm sorta in love with my best friend...No clue how to tell her so for now it's my little secret. :)
Final score:
27points
#19
I'm thinking I might be bisexual, but honestly I don't know. I know I'm attracted to guys, but I'm really not sure if I'm attracted to girls yet. Also, I am super worried about one of my friends. He's really depressed and I don't want to lose him seeing as I may or may not have a crush on him. I know there's no way I can fix it seeing as I have mental health issues too (bad case of anxiety), but I'm trying to figure out a way to help him in some other way.
Final score:
26points
#20
Shhhhhhhh............ I'm hunting wabbits.
Final score:
25points
#21
I still love my ex. It's been 3 yrs since. Pretending that i just want to be single etc. A lot of people believing at my advice so i just keep my feelings. I don't want them to see that the person they believing doesnt even know how to move on. I still love her even thou we didn't talk for a long time. I just keep ignoring it but i know i still love her
Final score:
24points
#22
I find it really hard to talk to other people about my depression and how I (almost) committed suicide. I feel like all I would get is pity and people telling me not to do it. I'm not going to because I've changed my mind and I am not in the place I was. Any advice??
Final score:
20points
#23
One time I drew on the wall of my parents house with a crayon when I was a kid and blamed it on my little brother who got punished instead of me. I pity the single child, no one to point your finger at to escape punishment!
Final score:
18points
#24
I'm not suicidal, but if I was to die right now, it wouldn't bother me. I care about my family and my friends but I just don't see any way for my life to improve at the moment. It probably will, I just can't see it....
Final score:
17points
#25
My father passed almost five years ago and I'm still grieving. No one knows this, I just don't feel like I have anyone to talk about it. On the surface, it looks as if I had moved on, but in reality, I´m still deeply sad.
Final score:
17points
#26
I don’t care how bad it is, Sharknado is the best movie series I’ve ever had the honor of watching
Final score:
16points
#27
one time I ate one of those packing peanuts when I was like 8
Final score:
16points
#28
After almost dying of covid. walking into the clinic where I work scares the f*ck out of me.
Final score:
16points
#29
Putting something on a public website, on the internet is the LAST "safe" place, are you nuts??!!
Final score:
13points
#30
I've silently struggled with an eating disorder since I was eleven. I'm doing much much better now, but it's still a process. Only my internet friends know currently- I never told my family.
Final score:
13points
#31
I'm a really huge pushover and too nice for my own good, and it's really hard and I think I might really need therapy because I dont tell anyone about anything because I dont want to inconvenience anyone! There was this one time the gym teacher in 5th grade made us do a plank the whole hour nonstop because someone said a couple words while he was giving instructions, and I couldnt straighten my arms and everyone was in so much pain that the gym teacher was reported, and I DIDNT TELL ANYONE! I was scared that my parents would move me to a different school and I was afraid people would lose their jobs, I was afraid I would get grounded, I was afraid my parents were gonna have to pay like 10,000 dollars for it!!! I really need to get off this habit!
Final score:
11points
#32
I might be a "highly sensitive person". It is a psychological terms that means someone who might experienced stronger psychological reaction, whether it is positive or negative, compared to normal person.
Some says it is a gift, since you can be more emphatize with others, but I see it as a curse, since it causes me more pain to the point I used to be suicidal.
I want to go to psycholog or therapist to address this matter, but in my country (Indonesia), if you ever go to one, you'll be stigmatized as mentally deranged person or worse, "less than a normal human". Even most companies or insurance companies will track your record if you've ever gone to that kind of place, thus lessen your chance to be approved.
Up to now, I'm still relying on self-help or self-therapy if you want to call it so. But I'm open should I've ever met a therapist that could keep the session with me discreet.
Final score:
11points
#33
I’m 13. I have depression, I am non-binary, I like women and fellow enbys. I have a history of self harm, multiple suicide attempts, and are VERY insecure. My self harm started when I was nine, I didn’t realize it was self harm until I got older. What I would do is find shards of glass and cut my fingertips, I squeezed the blood out and licked it up. (The taste of blood is somewhat satisfying). My self harm escalated at about 10, I found scissors and cut my arm, i kept doing so until I was caught, they hid the scissors to help keep me safe. I visit my grandmother often, she often goes out for smoke breaks, I would go to the kitchen and cut my arms with a knife. I would hide my arms, and got caught again. I’ve learned to cut my legs instead. I’m insecure about my chest size, not because it’s too small, but because it’s too big. I’m not content with being a girl, I dislike the title and do not want lady bits. I have a transphobic not supportive “family member” I do not consider him a part of my family because of how harmful he is towards me. It is not physical but verbal, he keeps trying to convince me that I’m a girl and that I always be one. He always disrespects my pronouns (they/them) purposefully and does not accept being corrected. I hate him for how disrespectful he is, and whenever we get done arguing he goes back to talking like nothing happened and it infuriates me. I always wear a smile and positive attitude, and whenever I’m alone I rest my face and try not to cry.
Final score:
10points
#34
Sometimes I can’t deal with life I lost my mum last year and since then I feel so disassociated from the world it’s like I’m constantly living a nightmare that I can’t wake up from . But I have 3 kids and a house and a dog and a husband and I keep going through the motions everyday but I just want to stay in bed because it’s all too much
Final score:
10points
#35
I didn’t know what love was until my current relationship even though I’m in my late thirties. I feel so lucky to be this happy.
Final score:
10points
#36
I paid for her sons glasses without her knowing who did it
Final score:
9points
#37
I don't like the majority of my family. It's not that they're bad people or anything like that. But if we weren't related, there's no way I'd spend time with them. I'd never tell any of them that because of course it would be monumentally hurtful, but I feel like I have nothing in common with them, disagree with most of their opinions, and our personalities just don't mesh well. I love them and I know they love me, but I feel like a complete outsider and like it's not safe to be myself around them. I've made excuses to avoid the last several family get-togethers. There have been several times my feelings have been completely invalidated over things that really, really mattered to me, and that's made me not want to talk to them about things that are important to me. How can there be a good relationship when you can't be authentic or open or vulnerable around your family? And honestly, I low-key suspect that a lot of them think me coming out as nonbinary and pan is bullsh*t and just won't say it to my face. Also not a great feeling.
Final score:
9points
#38
im an introvert but deep down im an extrovert, i want to be able to talk to people and have fun and make friends but my anxiety makes me too awkward around people to do so, ik its not that uncommon, but its been eating at me inside
Final score:
9points
#39
I have a crush on my friend
whew
Final score:
8points
#40
i'm scared i might have multiple personalities/be a system.
for the past couple of months i've been hearing many different voices that weren't the average intrusive thoughts. they have different genders, ages, pronouns, names, and they pop up somewhat often. for the past few weeks or so some of them have also. taken over my body somewhat? and just pushed me out of control of my body with a vague awareness on what was happening. i am aware that multiple personalities and systems are mainly created because of childhood trauma. however, i can't remember my childhood. it's such a stupid situation that i can't even explain to my therapist because i don't want to make it sound like i'm faking it for clout or something. but it scares me so much, i hate not being in full control over myself, and i hate not understanding what's going on in my head.
Final score:
8points
#41
one of my friends misgenders me on purpose daily and I dont know if I want to still be friends
Final score:
7points
#42
My mom is mentally ill but doesn’t recognize it. She hurts me constantly with the way she talks… always angry, justified and rants continually about government theories and judging people. I can barely talk about anything to her because any discussion, ever as basic as the weather, triggers one of her rants. When she does this, she can go on for hours, repeating the same things she has said for years and her manner of speech is so angry hateful and aggressive. It’s escalating into racism and severe judgment of all. The times I have GENTLY and LOVINGLY confronted her, she won’t let me speak and talks over me angrily justified. It triggers more ranting. I want her to know how much she hurts me and my family so she can get help, but I am afraid she will kill herself because she is also depressed. I love her unconditionally.
Final score:
7points
#43
I had sex with guys that are 20 years older than I am. I was 13 at the time.
Do I regret it? Yes, for having friends that lent me their family members to me.
Biggest mistake ever (happened in a small town)
Final score:
6points
#44
People think I'm a know-it-all and a teachers pet because I blurt out answers in class. But I literally cannot control it. I have tried everything and get blamed every time it happens.
Final score:
6points
#45
Today is the day that I have realized that the "treat others how you wanna be treated" thing never has worked for me. That was what I lived on, I always have been waiting for the day that people would treat me nicely, help me like I've tried to help them- but everytime I try to tell people whats going on they leave me on read and it sucks. I just want people to acknowledge that Im sad and help me with it but no one is doing s**t. I wanna give up but theres one little thing keeping me going, whether its my pets or family/friends I dont know. Anyway to everyone reading this, hope your day wasnt as sucky as mine :]
Final score:
6points
#46
I was home educated. I spent my teen years as a child and am now struggling with the jump into adulthood. I am ignorant and never learned the social interactions or life skills you'd find in secondary school. I loved my extended childhood at the time but I'm now horribly out of sync with my age group.
I've seen home education done well, but maybe don't when you live in the middle of nowhere and can't affored the transport to give your kid a social life.
Final score:
6points
#47
So... I'm 27 and I've never dated anyone in my life. But that's not the secrete. The secret is men scare me.
Final score:
6points
#48
I have a friend who is suicidal and every day I'm terrified they're going to kill themself.
Final score:
6points
#49
I think I’m gender fluid but I don’t wanna be. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being genderfluid, I just hate how confusing it is. I’m afraid that I will confuse others and myself. But I don’t want to be stuck with a name and pronouns that sometimes don’t suit me.
Final score:
6points
#51
Yeah, I guess.
Okay this is a bit weird:
I can’t sleep without a stuffed, pink, bunny security blanket.
I am now in my teen years and I still can’t sleep without it.
I like squeezing it’s ears at night, it just feels so calming!
It has been sewed up, patched up, and had much work done to it to keep it in good condition.
It went from fluffy and bright pink, to a more rough, brownish-pink (because of how many times it has been washed).
Final score:
6points
#52
I’m decently self conscious, even though it doesn’t really show. Getting a binder has helped a lot though, so has the mask wearing for Covid. No one can see my face or my expressions. I don’t have to smile. I like it.
I don’t play with my bird as much as I should. I feel bad for that.
I haven’t really told anyone I’m omnisexual. I mean, I act pretty gay lol so I think some people suspect.
The reason I want to be famous is so I won’t be forgotten as easily when I die. I don’t want to be forgotten.
I’m jealous of my only child friend sometimes.
Also I was the one who made the power go off because I stuck the tweezers in the outlet.
Final score:
5points
#53
There is NO safe place for "secrets." A secret remains a secret if only two people "know" and one of them is dead.
Final score:
5points
#54
I have depression and have been lying to everyone when I say I'm fine; I'm not. I tried taking my own life three days ago by drinking 20 energy drinks in one go
Final score:
5points
#55
I had a very bad case of Covid in March, my relationship of 10 years fell apart in July and I recently moved to another bigger city for a better job. Not one of my friends has called to check on me for either of those big, traumatic life changes. I'm 31 yo and I have no friends, no partner, I don't leave the house except for work and I can't stop thinking about suicide.
Final score:
5points
#56
It was me who made the goldfish smoothie
Final score:
4points
#57
I vehemently dislike my bitch of a head teacher. She is a backstabbing micromanaging mediocrity.
Final score:
4points
#58
I keep opening up emotionally to someone I know will only hurt me. I want to stop but I can't.
Final score:
4points
#59
Im nonbi and pan. Thats it thats the secret
Final score:
4points
#62
I'm out as pan/lesbian but I'm actually genderfluid and my family doesn't know.
Final score:
4points
#63
I accidentally flooded my house.
Final score:
4points
#64
My mother died three years ago. These three years has been the best years of my life. I'm finally free. She sucked all energy off me. She was mean. She always made me feel bad. Now I can live my life in peace. My secret is (was) that i don't mourn my mothers death a bit.
Final score:
4points
#65
I have fallen in love, while being able to completely lie to everyone, saying I never will.
so this is fun, and I don't know what to do now.
This guy is my friend, but I'm at a place in my life where I can't really date and it would go nowhere if I did confess and we felt the same way. He has dropped many hints, but I can't stop gaslighting myself.
any advise?
Final score:
3points
#67
I genuinely hate my siblings.
I wish they'd never been born and I won't grieve if those d*cks finally die.
Final score:
3points
#68
I like Jared Leto’s Joker in the original Suicide Squad. It was a very different take on the character and most people hate it.
Final score:
3points
#69
Well...here we go. For around a year or two now (since quarentine started) My mental health has been really bad. Right now I despretly need help but I can't talk to anyone. I am scucidal and swlf harms.
Final score:
3points
#70
A lot of times (like now) I hate myself so much that I wish I was dead.
Final score:
2points
#71
I’m still in love with my ex, even after almost 9 years. He said he still thinks about me; though we now live in different continents. I hate being so addicted to this man that’s clearly a debilitating choice.
Also, I’m now expecting a child with my current partner, though I can’t say I’m in love with him
Final score:
2points
#72
I don't think my best friend has been very supportive lately. From bad advice to judging my life choices. I have no one else to turn to.
Final score:
2points
#73
I'm obsessed with British "poverty-porn" shows. Skint has to be my favourite. Wish there were more episodes on youtube of Benefits Britain.
Final score:
2points
#74
I hate spending time with one of my best friends. We used to be really close but when she changed school we lost touch. Now whenever we get together i feel awkward and just want to go home. On the other hand I can’t bare to tell her because of our friendship when we were younger.
Final score:
2points
#75
I’m 14 and have been reading erotica short stories. I don’t like keeping secrets from my parents so this is hard.
Final score:
2points
#76
I'm Pansexual and Genderfluid and I can't come out to anyone in my family because they're all homophobic.
Final score:
2points
#77
I feel really guilty about this but I really want something wrong with me. Like for example a mental illness or something. I think it’s because I want attention but I’m not sure. I always feel absolutely terrible about this and feel really bad for the people who have to suffer through something like this.
Final score:
2points
#78
I had a very bad case of Covid in March, my relationship of 10 years fell apart in July and I recently moved to another bigger city for a better job. Not one of my friends has called to check on me for either of those big, traumatic life changes. I'm 31 yo and I have no friends, no partner, I don't leave the house except for work and I can't stop thinking about suicide.
Final score:
1point
#79
I met my soul mate and did not marry her. I still have an empty void where she used to filled it with sunshine and love. We are married to other people, we still have a thread that binds us and a love that only her and i will ever understand.
Final score:
1point
#80
I don't want to be with my fiance anymore. but I'm too scared to leave.
he's a narsasist..
Final score:
1point
#82
How much is bored panda being paid for our secrets?
Final score:
1point
#83
I love watching romantic drama movies like "You got mail" and "Notting Hill". /Straight guy
Final score:
1point
#84
I have a crush on some guy I met on Xbox, he asked me to be his girlfriend but I said no (if I could go back in time I would have said yes 🥲)
Final score:
1point
#85
I had a very bad case of Covid in March, my relationship of 10 years fell apart in July and I recently moved to another bigger city for a better job. Not one of my friends has called to check on me for either of those big, traumatic life changes. I'm 31 yo and I have no friends, no partner, I don't leave the house except for work and I can't stop thinking about suicide.
Final score:
0points
#86
I had a really bad case of Covid in March. In July my relationship of 10 years fell apart. Just few days before that I moved to another city for a massive job change. Not one of my friends called to check on me or asked me anything about any of these big, scary, life-changing moments. I spent my entire life with wrong "friends". I'm now 31, no friends, no partner, in a big strange city and I can't stop thinking about killing myself.
Final score:
0points
#88
my grandma is really homophobic and as a Pan-poly-demiboy i am really scared to tell her because of what happened last time
Final score:
0points
#89
I hate my oldest step daughter. She doesn't have a generous cell in her body and I'm amazed at her intentional ignorance in basic life skills. She is toxic. Her dad thinks she farts rainbows. I day dream that if anything happens to him I can send her back to her mother (who can't stand her either).
Final score:
0points
#90
I hate my boyfriends' kid. He is selfish, bragging kid who takes advantage on others (he is tall for his age) but whines and maybe even cries when a ball hits him and is a sore loser. He is such a crybaby and dramaqueen. The more he grows up, the less I like him as a person he is becaming.
Final score:
0points
#91
I’m bi and gender fluid and not out to my family (AMAB). Also, I have a bf they don’t know about
Final score:
0points
What do you think ?
Tarcandor 3 years ago
I get the intention, but defining the internet as "a safe space" seems..... overly optimistic at best....
Lightningstar (Post author) 3 years ago
Ok yeah but i kinda just meant you're kinda anonymous so..
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Tarcandor 3 years ago
I get the intention, but defining the internet as "a safe space" seems..... overly optimistic at best....
Lightningstar (Post author) 3 years ago
Ok yeah but i kinda just meant you're kinda anonymous so..
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