Hey Pandas, Tell Me You’re A Parent Without Telling Me You’re A Parent

#1

I can open a bag of chips, cookies or candy silently.

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Final score:

119points

Dagmar's dilemma

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#2

I have uttered the words "Don't lick the cat."

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Final score:

118points

By Deleted User

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#3

I fear silence when they are not visible

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Final score:

113points

Rob DeVries

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#4

I once accidentally wrote on my grocery list "Sesame Street" instead of "sesame seeds".

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Final score:

105points

Teresa McGrath

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#5

Over half of the items in my purse belong to other people

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Final score:

105points

Lizzy Crit

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#6

I can make up good night stories, varying the length according to the tiredness of the listener.

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Final score:

101points

trollingergirl

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#7

I haven't peed in peace for 3 years

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Final score:

100points

I_imagine_even_worse_w***s

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#8

There are socks all over my house. Behind the piano? Socks! Under the couch? Socks! In dresser drawers? ...No socks.

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Final score:

98points

Rachel Reynolds

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#9

I just stepped on a Lego

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Final score:

96points

Bobbi Spence

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#10

My wife and I boast very impressive collections of rocks, sticks, feathers, shells, pine cones and uniquely stained articles of clothing.

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Final score:

91points

enemjay82@yahoo.com

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#11

I recently had a dinner at an exclusive interactive restaurant. It consisted of me drinking bath water out off chip the cup from Beauty and the Beast and my fellow diners were Belle, the Beast, Elsa, Ariel and a troll doll from the 90's. I was charged (verbatim) 1 thousand and 5 million pounds and they kept my card as well because I only pretended to drink the bath water.... I will not be going again... until tomorrow night. Hopefully if I break and drink the bath water with bubbles I may get my card back 😏🤭🤗

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Final score:

88points

Sinead Kenny

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#12

I can define the following terms: Bussin', Sus, Sheesh, My Dude, and Living Rent free . . . how ever I am not allowed to use them in a sentence, nor do I have any desire too.

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Final score:

87points

Darth Daddy

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#13

I've said "Come here and let me smell your butt." on more than one occasion.

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Final score:

81points

Panda For Scale

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#14

My food is always cold.

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Final score:

80points

Belle Miles

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#15

I have a pile of cheerio and goldfish sand at the bottom of my purse

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Final score:

76points

OffKeySinger

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#16

I give treats for pooping.

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Final score:

72points

Andrea Wadzy

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#17

I still think Dora the Explorer shouldn't be allowed to leave the house by herself and that she and Boots are-co-dependents.

Whenever she said, "I need your help," I would shout from the kitchen, "Again? Why? To count to five this time? For crying out loud, Dora, pull yourself together!"

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Final score:

72points

Susan Stead

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#18

I know what Santa will bring for Christmas!

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Final score:

71points

trollingergirl

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#19

Hey you're Kid's Name Mom.... yes 21 years later..😄

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Final score:

71points

Danniee Gyrl

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#20

Baby shark do do do..

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Final score:

68points

Carlos Moreno

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#21

I'm taking care of a cat, that isn't mine, for the rest of it's life.

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Final score:

67points

My Full Name Is Way Too Long

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#22

The things you find in the washing machine ;
lego, stones, feathers,.
Also to be found in other surprising places like the fridge.

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Final score:

65points

Kobe (she)

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#23

I have a 4 bedroom house and yet forget what the other occupants look like thanks to cell phones, gaming systems, work, school and general (teen) "I hate everyone" attitudes. But yet the kitchen sink is constantly full with 734 cups for various liquid nourishment and bowls and plates. And where the hell are all my spoons???

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Final score:

63points

AzKhaleesi

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#24

During the school year, every morning is a crisis that involves lost items, tears, and vows to do better tomorrow. And that's when I'm the only one awake!!

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Final score:

58points

Mediocre Genius

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#25

Before COVID you could find sanitizer and wet wipes in my car or bag at any given time.

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Final score:

56points

Vanner

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#26

I can no longer be coaxed, or tricked into, sniffing anyone’s finger.

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Final score:

54points

Frank

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#27

The only jokes I know are Dad jokes.

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Final score:

53points

Kusotare

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#28

My pantry and fridge are full of empty cartons, containers and packages that I don't see until I'm putting the groceries away.

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Final score:

53points

Pharrah Jacobs

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#29

Peppa Pig haunts my dreams, the little S**t

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Final score:

51points

oldandexhausted79

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#30

We (both in our 70s) are recovering from Covid. I just asked my husband if he wanted to go nigh-nigh.

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Final score:

50points

Margaret H

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#31

The nicest part of my day is when I'm on my own, can hear myself think, watch something that isn't PG related and without be questioned throughout the whole film. Silence is bliss 😊

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Final score:

49points

Sinead Kenny

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#32

Repeatedly awakened in the middle of the night.

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Final score:

48points

The Mom

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#33

I’ve stayed up all night making a hamburger costume

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Final score:

48points

Barnwolf 3

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#34

I cannot remember what 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep feels like nor having room in my bed and it being crumbles. I have vague memories of a waking up naturally!

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Final score:

46points

Sinead Kenny

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#35

Any question I ask gets answered with 'You Mama'. Anything I do that I think is cool, someone says 'Bruh' in a condescending tone. I drive the same miles as an Uber, but don't get paid for it. And everything reeks of socks.

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Final score:

46points

Argle Bargle

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#36

I find water bottles in ever crevice and corner of the house, all partially drank. Yet there's 2 offenders, that refuse to claim so it gets wasted.

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Final score:

45points

Pharrah Jacobs

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#37

Of course a can drink tea and eat cookies without actually drinking tea and eating cookies.

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Final score:

44points

trollingergirl

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#38

When my kids come to visit (they’re in their 30s) and we go out for the day, my bag still gets loaded with hankies, wipes, 1st aid, umbrella or sun cream (or both), purse, masks, sanitiser, mints, carrier bag, water — “just in case” 😂

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Final score:

44points

Jono

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#39

The very last thing I do before leaving the house in the morning is to get dressed, because the odds are I will get two or three body fluids on my clothes before I make it to the door.

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Final score:

43points

Mag Undisclosed

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#40

I have asked someone to remove the glow stick from their nose BEFORE coming to the dinner table.

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Final score:

41points

Virginia Schwartz

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#41

I have a tiny sock stuck to the Velcro on my jacket hood.

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Final score:

40points

Mrs.S

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#42

I receive shopping lists from camp, not letters. 🤣

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Final score:

39points

Shelli Aderman

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#43

I haven't slept in years...

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Final score:

38points

I don't like my name

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#44

I buy silverware 🍽 weekly...not plastic wares but silverware

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Final score:

38points

Kenny Beam

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#45

I used to care so much about my appearance I wouldn't leve the house until I was completely made up, coordinated and accessorised. Now you would be lucky if I remember to take the child's knickers (clean) I'm using as a hair bobble out of my hair.

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Final score:

38points

Sinead Kenny

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#46

Found a half eaten chocolate bar in my shoe yesterday... My work shoes. Super fun.

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Final score:

38points

Hannah

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#47

I am the CEO of a small small cleaning service, which also provides addition services at no extra charge. Additionally I sit on the board of directors for a small bank BofM.

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Final score:

37points

Lucky2BAlive

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#48

A toy car factory has exploded in my house.

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Final score:

37points

AlilSass05

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#49

I have way more content knowledge than a person should have about show, sites, and games that have nothing to do with my job or interests.

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Final score:

37points

By Deleted User

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#50

Me: "Why are you licking the fridge?"
Nephew: "I'm a chameleon."

He was trying to open the fridge to get food. With his tongue, smh.

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Final score:

36points

Samantha Pugh

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#51

"Because" is a perfectly complete and full answer

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Final score:

35points

Grant Baxter

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#52

I have a collection of drinks called "Not Mine"

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Final score:

33points

Kenny Beam

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#53

These shoulders have been adorned by many a spit-up.

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Final score:

32points

Sleestak

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#54

My car looks like a dumpster

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Final score:

31points

Jake 1

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#55

I always have a sink full of dirty dishes I didn’t create (alas no dishwasher)

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Final score:

31points

Celia Karac

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#56

Shayden...Elias...Aria...whatever your name is! Stop doing that!

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Final score:

31points

Brittany Davis

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#57

Can I please just p**s in peace!

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Final score:

30points

Donna Smith

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#58

I've cleaned poop off of walls.

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Final score:

30points

Billy Greene

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#59

Where is my ________? As it walks past on someone else's body.

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Final score:

29points

Queen Boadicea

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#60

There's a Hot Wheels car in my box of tampons.

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Final score:

29points

Cheshire Cat

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#61

Just did laundry and already have 6 loads to do again

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Final score:

29points

Jenny Jamming

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#62

I know far too much about Minecraft, a game I've never had any desire to play....

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Final score:

28points

Faith Donovan

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#63

All of the pasta in my pantry, and all of the chicken nuggets in my freezer are shaped like animals.

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Final score:

28points

Leslie Payne

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#64

Two of our five Disney + profiles = Princess KK and Dorkasaurus

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Final score:

27points

enemjay82@yahoo.com

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#65

Maria BeRomero 1 minute ago
I am usually encountered in random places like a grocery store singing twinkle twinkle little star while been alone.

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Final score:

27points

Maria BeRomero

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#66

I have witnessed the length and girth of freshly produced poop entirely too many times.

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Final score:

27points

Gynger M. Goodlove

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#67

I keep a box of Lego in the back seat of my car for boredom emergencies. My kids are in their 30s ... haven't lived with me for years.

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Final score:

27points

Carla Prendergast

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#68

Not a parent, but an older sister.
I hid MANY candies in my old history books. Dante's Inferno, Brown's Da Vinci Code, full of candies. that's the only place my baby brother will never look into.

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Final score:

27points

Kiwi_User

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#69

All valuables must be put 3ft or higher out of reach

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Final score:

25points

Jonathan Clark

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#70

Because I said so.

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Final score:

25points

Mista Chris 13

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#71

I can name all the pups from paw patrol. The sound of the snorts from Pepa pig's family makes me cringe - "muddy puddles" oh my horror

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Final score:

24points

Carolyn Powell

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#72

I often have to clean up old pizza boxes and pop cans outside that have bb holes through them. Have night crawlers in my fridge and often have to look at and hear about cardboard tinfoil duct tape boats.

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Final score:

23points

Toni Kay

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#73

Apparently I can Venmo allowances.

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Final score:

23points

db

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#74

I was putting a shed together and was singing "Fruit Salad" by the Wiggles

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Final score:

22points

Rusty

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#75

I'm pretty sure I could clog a shop-vac with the contents from within our couch cushions.

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Final score:

22points

Armene Webster

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#76

I've seen every Episode of "Bluey" so many times I can recite them.

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Final score:

22points

Tiffiny Kamps

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#77

I installed locks at the top of my bedroom and bathroom doors.

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Final score:

22points

Leslie Payne

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#78

I co-habitate with a jerk named 'Not Me' that LITERALLY does nothing and everything. Somehow, my other co-habitants knows this person on a deep level, yet none have seen them. I can't wait for this jerk to turn 18 and move the eff out....

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Final score:

22points

Drth Geek

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#79

I will forever store toys, graduation gowns and a wedding dress of someone who doesn't live with me anymore.

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Final score:

22points

C B

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#80

Most items in my purse come from mother nature and 'can easily be recycled or re-used'.

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Final score:

21points

My Full Name Is Way Too Long

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#81

I have had to explain more than once that people don't break out in song and dance anywhere we go. Ever.

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Final score:

21points

Amanda Penton

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#82

Even I'm glad school is out.

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Final score:

20points

BadCat

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#83

My wife went to Aldis one morning. Apparently when she opened her shopping bag it was full of teething toys.

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Final score:

19points

Mikey Kliss

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#84

I usually eat leftovers from many different plates

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Final score:

19points

awingard1

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#85

My shopping list list consists names next to the items so I know if the item can be substituted or not. The world almost ended last week when I bought gummy bears and no gummy worms.

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Final score:

19points

Amanda Penton

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#86

I have at least 6 completely empty boxes in the pantry and 4 open cabinet doors.

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Final score:

19points

Susan

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#87

Speaking to my friends as if they were small children.

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Final score:

18points

Elizabeth VanDyke

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#88

I'm the punching bag for a set of first year hockey twins

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Final score:

18points

Sam Casset

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#89

My husband just said “the floor is lava” instead of the “floor is yours” during a presentation

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Final score:

18points

Crysta

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#90

Bought decorations and food yesterday, cleaned and DIYed a whole pink ocean theme room today. Ready for bday bbq for tomorrow.

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Final score:

17points

Cheryl Alonzo

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#91

I have taken a pick axe to the side of my garden to create a "construction site" so that the excavators don't dig up my cucumbers. Every morning the house is clean, and two hours into the day I can't walk in a straight line. And I've had to ask why boogers are on the wall or smiley faces are drawn in poop on the sports car I don't get to use anymore in the garage.

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Final score:

17points

Wayward

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#92

There are tissues in varying states of use in my left cargo shorts pocket at all times.

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Final score:

17points

Robbie D.

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#93

"WAAAÀALK!"

Also: I know the name of every crayola crayon color.

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Final score:

17points

Natalie L

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#94

My rearview mirror is adorned with a pacifier hanging from a lanyard

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Final score:

17points

Janet Brookey

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#95

I function as a cook, teacher, nurse, counselor, maid, entertainer, and human pillow- and I do it all for free.

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Final score:

16points

Tricia Burcell

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#96

I've watched all of "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse"

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Final score:

15points

Mist

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#97

I have said the words "No that hole is not a poop shoot, put your underwear on right."

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Final score:

15points

Makenzie West

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#98

(Cat owner)
Every two minutes or so, a “bwurr” is echoed through the house.

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Final score:

14points

PalmKitty

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#99

There is one show in the house that you hear way more than any other... Cocomelon. There's also the song... We Don't Talk About Bruno

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Final score:

14points

MessyMind32

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#100

All cookies, candies, and chips are in a locked cabinet over the fridge. The cleaning products are in an unlocked cabinet under the sink.

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Final score:

14points

Renee Smith

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#101

I can tell you... Wait. GET THAT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!... I do not care that the dog gave it to you... So I can... Hold on. Uhm. What was the question...?

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Final score:

14points

Krockodial Panda

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#102

I have a basket with several mateless shoes and sneakers.

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Final score:

13points

Laura Travis

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#103

I used to hate cold coffee but now it's almost all I'm able to drink.

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Final score:

13points

Coral Healey

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#104

I’m tired

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Final score:

13points

Erika Beseda

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#105

I just bought some dork diaries books from the library (my mom 4 years ago POV)

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Final score:

12points

Justaboredpotato

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#106

French fries or goldfish crackers on the floor of the car

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Final score:

12points

John Bulatowicz

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#107

I have learned to "talk" for the stuffed cats. Things start with an "m"

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Final score:

12points

Lorna Anne Skinner Emmons

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#108

I call my husband Daddy in a non-sexual way

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Final score:

12points

Lytha Hawkeye

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#109

I made up names for animals and kids on the street, since I got scolded for not knowing their names by a two year old.

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Final score:

12points

Ms. Andee Dill

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#110

screaming kids, toilet paper mummies, kids rolled up in "avocado" blankets

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Final score:

11points

samuel the (???)

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#111

Is that poop or chocolate?

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Final score:

11points

Susan

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#112

I don't remember the last time I was able to stay home alone. Without kids or hubby🥺. I have to leave the house if I want a moment of peace and quiet. Not even bathroom time is sacred.

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Final score:

11points

Lilninjasmom2018

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#113

Wet floors and doors that seem to not close.

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Final score:

11points

Ella Ann

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#114

I once found a cheeseburger in my purse that had been there a couple of days.

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Final score:

11points

WitchyWoo

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#115

Going to the supermarket/Target/CVS by myself feels like a vacation on a tropical island.

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Final score:

11points

Mediocre Genius

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#116

Where is my ________? As it walks past on someone else's body.

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Final score:

10points

Queen Boadicea

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#117

Toot toot Chugga chugga big red car on a loop in my head. OH and the snot! Copious amounts of snot. Uggh.

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Final score:

10points

hirakhan_101@yahoo.ca

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#118

Several of my most treasured pieces of jewelry are made of rainbow plastic pony beads.

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Final score:

10points

Alisha VanHoose Torres

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#119

I yell everyday" STOP YELLING"

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Final score:

10points

candice arrington

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#120

I have had projectile poop in my eye.
(It burns!)

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Final score:

9points

Alyssa Lupo-Zulueta

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#121

I drive minivan.

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Final score:

9points

J_Dub

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#122

In my purse I always have bandaids, fruit snacks, Tylenol, Advil, lactose intolerance pills (which I am not!), hard candies, safety pins, a pen & paper.

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Final score:

9points

SaDawna Mc Cart-Stebben

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#123

There were Littlest Pet Shop animals in the manger at Christmas time "because Jesus needed more animals"

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Final score:

9points

Kelly Sage

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#124

I make up lullabies on the fly...at 3 in the morning

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Final score:

9points

Christine Skinkis

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#125

I grapoed hold of a stranger's hand at the road side and said...."hold my Danny". I also pointed to a horse out of the bus window and said..."look, a poppo"

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Final score:

8points

Babs Hunt

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#126

I had two extra kids named Ida Know and Ont Know living in my house.

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Final score:

8points

Renee Smith

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#127

Every chair I regularly sit in has a roll of paper towel within reach.

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Final score:

8points

Marian B

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#128

I never feel like I am doing enough.

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Final score:

8points

Annie Brod

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#129

The sound of silence isn't just a great song from Disturbed but is also the sound I fear the most coming from the bedroom

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Final score:

8points

RandomPanda648

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#130

I have heard every spoiler to every movie that I don't even want to see.

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Final score:

8points

Aubrey Mortensen

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#131

Not Mine, Wasn't Me, and I didn't do it are all my roommates. Though I don't remember inviting them to stay with me in my home. 🙃🤔🤪

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Final score:

8points

JT Taylor

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#132

Know all the words to the Pokemon theme and names of all of Ash's pokemon from every region I used to only know pikachu and jigglypuff

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Final score:

7points

Beautifullybroken

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#133

My hair has been used to wipe a snotty nose clean

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Final score:

7points

Anne van Vught

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#134

I just had to yell, "Don't poke that spider with your finger!"

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Final score:

7points

Debbie Boyd Cochran

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#135

Every time I open the shower curtain to step in, there are many and various types of toys laying in the tub. Most of them aren't even made for water so I have to scoop them all up and lay them on a towel to dry just to get in the shower. Same thing the next day. It never ends.

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Final score:

7points

WitchyWoo

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#136

My son greeted my husband "HI Steve. Oops I mean dad." My husband is named James. Blues clues was important.

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Final score:

7points

Chris Layland

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#137

How do you get permanent marker off a cat??!!….asking for a friend😬

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Final score:

7points

Martha Hall

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#138

My house has a constant tornado that seems to be as violent as the storm on Jupiter, has forced me to utter "don't stick your finger there" and "that's not where that goes" on thousands of occasions, and seems to have a new and absolutely random question waaay to complicated for me to answer in a moments time every .25 seconds...

Also, I have one friend. Her name is Voda Ka and we speak often. She understands me lmao.

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Final score:

7points

Verified Losr

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#139

I've gone to work wearing nail polish on my toes and fingers, because small humans needed to both be nail technicians and I was the only victim... I mean customer available...

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Final score:

7points

Garry Earnest

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#140

Final score:

6points

ㅤㅤㅤ

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#141

I'm pretty sure I could clog a shop-vac with the contents from within our couch cushions.

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Final score:

6points

Armene Webster

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#142

I have taken a pick axe to the side of my garden to create a "construction site" so that the excavators don't dig up my cucumbers. Every morning the house is clean, and two hours into the day I can't walk in a straight line. And I've had to ask why boogers are on the wall or smiley faces are drawn in poop on the sports car I don't get to use anymore in the garage.

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Final score:

6points

Wayward

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#143

Petroleum jelly is difficult to remove, even off a water-loving labrador

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Final score:

6points

Claire Cochrane

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#144

"PANTS! Where are your pants?"
😳😳
"Who peed on the carpet?" Didn't always apply to the dogs.
🤨🤨

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Final score:

6points

ButterflyMcQueen

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#145

(Daycare teacher)

I know that it's a bad idea to give 16 two year olds apple juice immediately after they've woken up from nap, have repeatedly uttered the words "No, Thank You! We don't drink water from off the ground!", Can change diapers like a speed racer, and know that all it takes to stop a crying chain of toddlers is to bring out the fabric tunnel.

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Final score:

6points

LilKiwiBoi42

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#146

I think it's quite a parent personally.

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Final score:

6points

Phyzzi

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#147

I can make pot of coffee with one hand.

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Final score:

6points

B

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#148

Yelled at my teenager for not packing up his stuff to head out to out of state college tomorrow (i had been telling him to do it for 3 weeks).

Got mad! Yelled! And immediately went to the bathroom and cried because he's going to out if state college tomorrow.

I'm conflicted!

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Final score:

6points

glenys c.

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#149

The dog is covered in raw eggs and chocolate syrup!

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Final score:

5points

Renee Smith

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#150

They know everything.

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Final score:

5points

Sally Garcia

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#151

I can never do anything for longer than 10 minutes unless it's between the times of 2 and 4 pm.

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Final score:

5points

Ajaho

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#152

Where are all my cell phone chargers?

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Final score:

5points

Erika Beseda

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#153

There is a secret squatter in my home named "Not Me", and they happen to make lots of messes ....

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Final score:

5points

Tiffy Dayne

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#154

I'm fluent in English, sigh and eye roll

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Final score:

5points

I Tried This At Home

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#155

Well, one of my three best friends stopped by today; however, I was so tired I decided to take a two-hour nap. She must not have minded a bit because she new better than to wake me.

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Final score:

4points

Renee Hessell

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#156

We don’t talk about Bruno… except when we do. 3,456,989 times a day.

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Final score:

4points

Brittney Stanley

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#157

Their food plates are untouched.
As I fight to protect my food on my plate. Dispite all plates holding the exact same food items.

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Final score:

4points

Linda Dueling

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#158

There were french fries in the VCR. Apparently, it was hungry. Side note, VCRs do not like french fries,

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Final score:

4points

Heather W

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#159

I have a hatred and fear of Lego blocks in the living room leaping under my bare feet in the early morning.

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Final score:

4points

Sean Machado

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#160

I had no idea I could ruin someone's day by giving them the wrong spoon.

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Final score:

4points

Sissy TheEvil

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#161

I have had to tell someone to stop being mean to their cheese...

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Final score:

4points

Jessica Mugnaini

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#162

I told you to go get your pajamas on and brush your teeth. I get to listen to a hissy fit for the next 30 minutes because obviously I have ruined your life.

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Final score:

4points

Miche B

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#163

There are tissues in varying states of use in my left cargo shorts pocket at all times.

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Final score:

3points

Robbie D.

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#164

My rearview mirror is adorned with a pacifier hanging from a lanyard

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Final score:

3points

Janet Brookey

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#165

I learned to love the burnt fries in an order.

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Final score:

3points

heydave56

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#166

Constantly saying "I'm not a bank!" My kids are 29 and 21.
Legos NEVER leave. 16 years of them in storage and I still occasionally find a stray!

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Final score:

3points

Brenda

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#167

I know all the words to the Paw Patrol, PJ Mask, and Team Umizoomi theme songs. As well as all the characters names.

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Final score:

3points

Reyna Blake

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#168

Most days I end up carrying an extra 20-25 lbs around the house that's not even my own weight...

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Final score:

3points

Kowen3415

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#169

I could spend all day cleaning but by bedtime it looks like a tornado went through my house..😮‍💨

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Final score:

3points

Stacey P

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#170

I have a large assortment of papers with what looks to be nothing but scribbles, sloppy random brush strokes. However I've been informed the are boats, the ocean, and any combination of things you could imagine

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Final score:

3points

Garry Earnest

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#171

My algorithm thinks I'm a gangsta rap listening, Roblox playing, jazz loving, challenge taking, hard working, trend dancing human being.

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Final score:

3points

Dick Sawkins

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#172

I answer the question " why " over 500 times per day.

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Final score:

3points

Jessica Griffioen

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#173

My favorite phrases are "it starts with p, ends with an e, and is all manners" and "that doesn't go up your nose or in your mouth"

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Final score:

3points

Mykidsartrocks

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#174

I have found petrified chicken nuggets in and under the couch.
I never have to worry about a burglar breaking in, because my floors are minefields, especially in the dark.
Poop talk is a constant.
I hide candy in empty tampon boxes.
I eat candy in the bathroom. With the door locked.
I have called out, 'You! With the face!' and they know who I am talking too.
I yell, 'Stop Running in the House' 2,394,103 times a day.
I once prided myself on my cooking. Now, everything I cook is 'Gross' unless premade and bought from the store. At least my husband and friends still like my cooking. But my confidence has taken a massive hit.
When I go to the store alone, I check the back seat.
Every doctor visit requires a trip to Dollar Tree afterwards.
Laundry is NEVER ENDING.
Never enough socks.
Apparently, one can subsist on popsciles and ice alone.

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Final score:

3points

the_casscass

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#175

Was at a restaurant with a friend, tried something new. When she asked me how it was I said, "Oh, it's nummy num nums."

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Final score:

3points

Alison Kennedy

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#176

Glitter everywhere.
Chicken nuggets for dinner
Why is this sticky?

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Final score:

3points

Celia Nunn

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#177

I have a formula that gets markers and crayons off walls.

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Final score:

3points

Crafty mama

POST

#178

I crochet but I can't fit my work in the bag due to all the bandages liquid stitch and meds. Instead of hooks it's all colored pencils

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Final score:

2points

S Nash

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#179

My husband just said “the floor is lava” instead of the “floor is yours” during a presentation

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Final score:

2points

Crysta

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#180

Uh=truck, wa'a=water, ay=train, mirl=milk, ee=cheese or please, etc.

Also currently looking for a minivan because in a few months there won't be any more room in our car.

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Final score:

2points

Ajaho

POST

#181

I sway back and forth usually humming a soothing tune when not at home and by myself
I also tend to rock the shopping carriage back and forth humming or lightly singing, also by myself.

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Final score:

2points

CMKL

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#182

Which one are you again? Out of 7 no one ever remembered my name (middle kid). I was called jack one day. The dogs name.

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Final score:

2points

Nancy Hunter

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#183

I am a walking tissue / napkin.

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Final score:

2points

Curious Panda

POST

#184

Sometimes I find myself quietly humming "I love you, you love me..." and have to force myself to stop.

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Final score:

2points

Jason B.

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#185

I have 2 refrigerators and a pantry all completely stocked with food. I am told multiple times a day that we "Never have anything to eat in this house!"

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Final score:

2points

Brandy Vitatoe

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#186

There is a happy face sticker on every doorknob in the house, and a big one on the inside of the toilet lid…

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Final score:

2points

Susan Howell

POST

#187

Sleep? Ahh, I remember sleep. Many moons ago there was plenty of it to go around.

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Final score:

2points

Lgndry Nomads

POST

#188

When it's time to put away a toy (or some other object), said item is "sleepy/needs to go to it's home."

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Final score:

2points

I'mNotARoboat

POST

#189

"I have a tattoo!" He stood in the mirror and drew Pokémon on his chest in permanent marker.

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Final score:

2points

Crafty mama

POST

#190

I yell, "get in the car!,". about the same amount as I yell, "get out of the car!" And yet... Still no one listens.

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Final score:

2points

Miche B

POST

#191

wait.. Season 4 of Strangers Things came out?

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Final score:

2points

Brianna Barkman

POST

#192

I need a break after my holiday.

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Final score:

2points

J.J. Dekker

POST

#193

I know where to find mommy, daddy, brother and sister finger at any given time

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Final score:

2points

Hillary Fisher

POST

#194

Toilet not flushing by finding a whole roll of toilet paper, a doll, and a about 15 wrappers for candy.

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Final score:

2points

Matt Farnsworth

POST

#195

Them on Monday "good weekend"
Me "meh"
Then "what did you get up to?"
Me (desperately tries to thing of the most glamorous way of saying "survived while dreading Monday")

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Final score:

2points

Adam Eve

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#196

I know the difference between Master C heif and Nathan Drake

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Final score:

1point

Trish Peavey

POST

#197

I found a chunk of hair on the bathroom floor.

Now to do shades check.

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Final score:

1point

Vanessa

POST

#198

To say it like Downton Abby: Weekend? What's a weekend?

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Final score:

1point

ElaHuhubi

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#199

What's a weekend?

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Final score:

1point

ElaHuhubi

POST

#200

On more than one occasion while pulling into the driveway I have said the words I know you have to pee but please do not pee in the backyard the kitchen doors 10 ft away

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Final score:

1point

Izzy

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#201

i smell like puke or p**s.or puke and p**s

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Final score:

1point

Sal Salsafiyya

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#202

The school called........

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Final score:

1point

Elizabeth Chandler

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#203

I was baking a cake around 11 pm. Then I decorated it with a picture of Neymar Jr.

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Final score:

1point

Katarzyna Satława

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#204

I know that I have too many towels for any reasonable place, let just say clumsy can be transferred

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Final score:

1point

Maryse Faucher

POST

#205

I wake up at ungodly hours of morning to provide transport for younger humans to their activities. (They both can drive now and I still provide this service)

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Final score:

1point

Krista Salerno

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#206

I eat the crust only sometimes lol

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Final score:

1point

Kathryn M Makin

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#207

That wasn’t candy…

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Final score:

1point

Pamela Kay

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#208

I know 8 birthdates by heart and often have to repeat them several times a day. Just imagine moving more than once with all the doctors, dentists, schools, insurance companies, emergency rooms...

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Final score:

1point

Liz Rogers

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#209

The list of nice things we will buy, and when we will refinish the floors gets longer and further away.

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Final score:

1point

Stymied Egan

POST

#210

I had to replace carpeting because it was painted with red fingernail polish.

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Final score:

1point

Georgia Carroll

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#211

I have enough snacks on the back floor of my truck, for a week of camping

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Final score:

1point

Jesse Anglin

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#212

Laundry is eternal...

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Final score:

1point

Tiona Todoruk

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#213

I find myself preforming the same household tasks (Picking up cups/plates/bowls/clothes/shoes etc) only to go back a couple of hours later to find "not mine's" cup/plate/bowl/clothes/shoes, etc have appeared.

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Final score:

1point

Shamika Taylor

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#214

It's 1:45am. First shift completed. Clean and fed, down for the count.

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Final score:

1point

Jacob Erickson

POST

#215

You never have any spoons or forks in the utensils drawer-- EVER!

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Final score:

1point

Chinida Davis

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#216

Who do it? No body!! Who made you cry? No one!!

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Final score:

1point

Tericka Lane

POST

#217

Let me get you a juice box. They're in my purse. Snack? Ok, got those in there too.

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Final score:

1point

Sharon McIlhargey

POST

#218

I have no fear of poop, vomit, or pee. Also I can find the halflings.

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Final score:

1point

Kristina Cabral

POST

#219

"Don't lick your brother's butt"

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Final score:

1point

Abby

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#220

I have more Lego men than shower gels and shampoos in my shower

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Final score:

1point

DuckDuckGoose

POST

#221

I give kisses on chubby cheeks despite getting punched before 🤣

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Final score:

1point

Yayheterogeneity

POST

#222

I saw the Emoji movie.

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Final score:

1point

Nicky

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#223

"Why is the fridge open?"

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Final score:

1point

Heather Murphy

POST

#224

I have said "we do not pp in cup holders"

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Final score:

1point

RajunCajun

POST

#225

Each time I see something prefixed with the word "baby" (e.g. baby carrots, baby leaf lettuce) the words/tune "do-do, do-do-do-do" automatically follows in my head.

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Final score:

1point

Sue Denham

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#226

I have taken a pick axe to the side of my garden to create a "construction site" so that the excavators don't dig up my cucumbers. Every morning the house is clean, and two hours into the day I can't walk in a straight line. And I've had to ask why boogers are on the wall or smiley faces are drawn in poop on the sports car I don't get to use anymore in the garage.

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Final score:

0points

Wayward

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#227

I can make pot of coffee with one hand.

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Final score:

0points

B

POST

#228

Aww the sweet smell of, Oh no it's nail polish!

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Final score:

0points

Vanessa

POST

#229

To say it like Downton Abby: Weekend? What's a weekend?

Report

Final score:

0points

ElaHuhubi

POST

#230

I have 2 refrigerators and a pantry all completely stocked with food. I am told multiple times a day that we "Never have anything to eat in this house!"

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Final score:

0points

Brandy Vitatoe

POST

#231

I just did my laundry and am so excited that I have clean nipple pads lol

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Final score:

0points

NIki McKay

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#232

Annual mileage in my car - around 8000 miles. Percentage of those miles that are not actually 'Taxi-ing daughter around' - Probably around 10 % :)

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Final score:

0points

Peej Maybe

POST

#233

Going to the washroom?--!! Lmao!!!

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Final score:

0points

Heather Church

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#234

Ur quiet!!!!

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Final score:

0points

Heather Church

POST

#235

In my purse I have baby teeth that aren’t mine. The tooth fairy has to do something with them!

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Final score:

0points

Imnotthatpanda

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#236

It's rare when the house is clean.

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Final score:

0points

Julianne M

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#237

Ask your mother.

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Final score:

0points

Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez

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#238

Ask your mother.

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Final score:

0points

Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez

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#239

While I was folding laundry, my youngest informed me that me put a lego up his bum. Why?! Because it was itchy. Afterwards, he proceeded to get upset when I wouldn’t let him keep said lego. Thank heavens it was a smooth one and not a big brick!

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Final score:

0points

Jen&Tonic

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#240

Them on Monday : c

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Final score:

0points

Adam Eve

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#241

I was given a new name at age 27, I share it with millions of other Americans, and whenever someone says it, a group of neurons in my brain lights up.

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Final score:

0points

yellowphantom

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#242

I wake up every morning by at least six o'clock although I'd love to sleep at least til 8...

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Final score:

0points

Yayheterogeneity

POST

#243

When I open my handbag to get my purse I have to rummage through diapers, wipes, cookies, bottles, books, etc.

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Final score:

0points

Yayheterogeneity

POST

#244

I haven't been on a romantic holidays for 20 years

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Final score:

0points

Limey Cheesehead

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#245

About 19 years after I got married my grocery bill had a dramatic drop.

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Final score:

0points

Chich

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#246

1. I’ve been handed a nugget of poop
2. Every morning I have to ask someone if they put on underwear
3. I dine at a restaurant daily and eat pancakes out of a bowl
4. I am a master at silently opening food wrappers
5. I make ‘comfy spots’ nightly, but I never get to enjoy them
6. I own a pair of sound dampening ear plugs and haven’t been to a concert in 4 years
7. I hide in the bathroom
8. I haven’t uttered the words ‘I’m bored’ in 10 years
9. I get jumped on anytime I crouch to grab something from a low cabinet
10. Going to work feels like a break

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Final score:

0points

Dont Sellmyinfo

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#247

In the past year, I've learned how to make a peacock sound when it shows up in a book, and I can produce varying roars for tigers and lions, and different humming styles for bees, wasps, bumblebees and dragon flies. Because, of course, it's vital that they don't sound the same!

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Final score:

0points

Pizzagirl 91

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#248

Trying to "sleep in" past 5am means waking up repeatedly with a foot in your mouth.

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Final score:

0points

Pizzagirl 91

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#249

Hugging is a non-negotiable, essential part of my day.

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Final score:

0points

Pizzagirl 91

POST

#250

Me telling my cat : Elfo you can't lay there
Elfo: looks at me as he lay down on the baby who is taking a nap.
The baby: waaaaaa
Me: wow real cool bro, now you put him to sleep.
Elfo: falls asleep 😴
😩

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Final score:

0points