Hey Pandas, Tell Me You’re A Parent Without Telling Me You’re A Parent

#1

I can open a bag of chips, cookies or candy silently.

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119points

Dagmar's dilemma

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PalmKitty 2 years ago

HE IS THE MESSIAH

46points

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#2

I have uttered the words "Don't lick the cat."

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Final score:

118points

By Deleted User

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RandomFrog(He/They️‍️) 2 years ago

*My Mom thinking abt the time she has to tell my sister not to eat my pants*. (While I was wearing them btw. She was nine)

37points

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#3

I fear silence when they are not visible

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113points

Rob DeVries

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K-Hey 2 years ago

So very, very real!!

20points

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#4

I once accidentally wrote on my grocery list "Sesame Street" instead of "sesame seeds".

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Final score:

105points

Teresa McGrath

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Susan Green 2 years ago

Excellent.

17points

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#5

Over half of the items in my purse belong to other people

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Final score:

105points

Lizzy Crit

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Anna Schrame 2 years ago

At a red light,singing along to barbie the Dino. Im alone in the car. Cringe.

32points

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#6

I can make up good night stories, varying the length according to the tiredness of the listener.

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Final score:

101points

trollingergirl

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Susan Green 2 years ago

I love this.

24points

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#7

I haven't peed in peace for 3 years

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Final score:

100points

I_imagine_even_worse_w***s

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Jessica N 2 years ago

Same but cats.

36points

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#8

There are socks all over my house. Behind the piano? Socks! Under the couch? Socks! In dresser drawers? ...No socks.

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Final score:

98points

Rachel Reynolds

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Shelli Aderman 2 years ago

OMG! THE SOCKS! It’s SO true!

27points

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#9

I just stepped on a Lego

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Final score:

96points

Bobbi Spence

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asexualotl (she/her) 2 years ago

i am so, so sorry. i feel your pain.

34points

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#10

My wife and I boast very impressive collections of rocks, sticks, feathers, shells, pine cones and uniquely stained articles of clothing.

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Final score:

91points

enemjay82@yahoo.com

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Shyla Clay 2 years ago

Uniquely stained. 🤭

39points

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#11

I recently had a dinner at an exclusive interactive restaurant. It consisted of me drinking bath water out off chip the cup from Beauty and the Beast and my fellow diners were Belle, the Beast, Elsa, Ariel and a troll doll from the 90's. I was charged (verbatim) 1 thousand and 5 million pounds and they kept my card as well because I only pretended to drink the bath water.... I will not be going again... until tomorrow night. Hopefully if I break and drink the bath water with bubbles I may get my card back 😏🤭🤗

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Final score:

88points

Sinead Kenny

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Cerridwen 2 years ago

That's some funny s**t

25points

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#12

I can define the following terms: Bussin', Sus, Sheesh, My Dude, and Living Rent free . . . how ever I am not allowed to use them in a sentence, nor do I have any desire too.

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Final score:

87points

Darth Daddy

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Pharrah Jacobs 2 years ago

So true. I've tried talking in their native language, only to be warned not to again.

41points

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#13

I've said "Come here and let me smell your butt." on more than one occasion.

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Final score:

81points

Panda For Scale

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Margo Mohar-Maxwell 2 years ago (edited)

I literally broke my ankle trying not to step on Hot Wheels strewn about the floor. 😖

27points

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#14

My food is always cold.

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Final score:

80points

Belle Miles

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Christina Odermatt 2 years ago

I eat while I cook cuz it’s not like my kids let me eat anyways!! My 1yo will str8 up grab my entire plate off the table so he can play in it. 🤦🏼‍♀️

3points

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#15

I have a pile of cheerio and goldfish sand at the bottom of my purse

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Final score:

76points

OffKeySinger

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EpicWolfandSparrow 2 years ago

Kids always hungry? Here, snack sand!

17points

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#16

I give treats for pooping.

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Final score:

72points

Andrea Wadzy

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Heather W 2 years ago

My daughter was hard to train because she went through a health crisis during. I ended up giving her pudding for pooping in the toilet. One day I was using the bathroom and she brought me pudding lol

3points

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#17

I still think Dora the Explorer shouldn't be allowed to leave the house by herself and that she and Boots are-co-dependents.

Whenever she said, "I need your help," I would shout from the kitchen, "Again? Why? To count to five this time? For crying out loud, Dora, pull yourself together!"

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Final score:

72points

Susan Stead

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Hannah Cremeans 2 years ago

It's a map to America okay we get it the crocodile is border control we know... WE KNOW

21points

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#18

I know what Santa will bring for Christmas!

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Final score:

71points

trollingergirl

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PalmKitty 2 years ago

*surprised pikachu face*

25points

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#19

Hey you're Kid's Name Mom.... yes 21 years later..😄

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Final score:

71points

Danniee Gyrl

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Pat Turner 2 years ago

Happened just last year. My son was 38😆😆😆😆

25points

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#20

Baby shark do do do..

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Final score:

68points

Carlos Moreno

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Christina Odermatt 2 years ago

This one lives rent free in my head, an I wish it wouldn’t 🤣

32points

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#21

I'm taking care of a cat, that isn't mine, for the rest of it's life.

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Final score:

67points

My Full Name Is Way Too Long

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Danniee Gyrl 2 years ago

EXACTLY...He is going into the Air Force in a few weeks...so yeah...both of the cats belong to me now....🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

34points

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#22

The things you find in the washing machine ;
lego, stones, feathers,.
Also to be found in other surprising places like the fridge.

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Final score:

65points

Kobe (she)

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*Displayname*=idk 2 years ago

My brother had a rock collection in the bathtub 😅

23points

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#23

I have a 4 bedroom house and yet forget what the other occupants look like thanks to cell phones, gaming systems, work, school and general (teen) "I hate everyone" attitudes. But yet the kitchen sink is constantly full with 734 cups for various liquid nourishment and bowls and plates. And where the hell are all my spoons???

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Final score:

63points

AzKhaleesi

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Jennifer H 2 years ago

Mommmmm there are no clean cupssss

20points

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#24

During the school year, every morning is a crisis that involves lost items, tears, and vows to do better tomorrow. And that's when I'm the only one awake!!

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Final score:

58points

Mediocre Genius

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Jazmine 2 years ago

So true!

14points

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#25

Before COVID you could find sanitizer and wet wipes in my car or bag at any given time.

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Final score:

56points

Vanner

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Dee 2 years ago

Legit. I felt so smug when there was none in the shelves, but I'd already stockpiled. Not in preparation for the apocalypse, just in preparation of children. Which isn't much different sometimes I suppose haha

41points

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#26

I can no longer be coaxed, or tricked into, sniffing anyone’s finger.

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Final score:

54points

Frank

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*Displayname*=idk 2 years ago

😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'm sorry! But as an older sister with a younger brother I felt this to my heart 🤣🤣🤣

26points

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#27

The only jokes I know are Dad jokes.

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Final score:

53points

Kusotare

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K-Hey 2 years ago

There are other jokes?

35points

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#28

My pantry and fridge are full of empty cartons, containers and packages that I don't see until I'm putting the groceries away.

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Final score:

53points

Pharrah Jacobs

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*Displayname*=idk 2 years ago

As the cleaning addict of our household I 100 percent understand.

17points

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#29

Peppa Pig haunts my dreams, the little S**t

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Final score:

51points

oldandexhausted79

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Christina Odermatt 2 years ago

I won’t let my kids watch Peppa Pig cuz I’m the 1 who can’t stand it, it’s such a dumbass cartoon an there r a lot of dumbass cartoons but Peppa takes the cake!

21points

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#30

We (both in our 70s) are recovering from Covid. I just asked my husband if he wanted to go nigh-nigh.

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Final score:

50points

Margaret H

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Pat Turner 2 years ago

...ahhaaahhhaaa😂😂😂

20points

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#31

The nicest part of my day is when I'm on my own, can hear myself think, watch something that isn't PG related and without be questioned throughout the whole film. Silence is bliss 😊

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Final score:

49points

Sinead Kenny

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Christina Odermatt 2 years ago (edited)

Silence is bliss, I wouldn’t know, what does that even mean? 🤣🤣

30points

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#32

Repeatedly awakened in the middle of the night.

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48points

The Mom

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Aisling Raye 2 years ago

This one works for kids and cats.

30points

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#33

I’ve stayed up all night making a hamburger costume

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Final score:

48points

Barnwolf 3

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Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

Or a pink otter costume.

13points

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#34

I cannot remember what 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep feels like nor having room in my bed and it being crumbles. I have vague memories of a waking up naturally!

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Final score:

46points

Sinead Kenny

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Teampandas GF 2 years ago

I'm still hoping for the return of 4,5 hours of uninterrupted sleep...

11points

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#35

Any question I ask gets answered with 'You Mama'. Anything I do that I think is cool, someone says 'Bruh' in a condescending tone. I drive the same miles as an Uber, but don't get paid for it. And everything reeks of socks.

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Final score:

46points

Argle Bargle

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K-Hey 2 years ago

More socks!!

9points

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#36

I find water bottles in ever crevice and corner of the house, all partially drank. Yet there's 2 offenders, that refuse to claim so it gets wasted.

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Final score:

45points

Pharrah Jacobs

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*Displayname*=idk 2 years ago

Ours are rather half way full or dry as bones...

13points

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#37

Of course a can drink tea and eat cookies without actually drinking tea and eating cookies.

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Final score:

44points

trollingergirl

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trollingergirl (Submission author) 2 years ago

It should say: of course I can drink......

26points

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#38

When my kids come to visit (they’re in their 30s) and we go out for the day, my bag still gets loaded with hankies, wipes, 1st aid, umbrella or sun cream (or both), purse, masks, sanitiser, mints, carrier bag, water — “just in case” 😂

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Final score:

44points

Jono

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Cerridwen 2 years ago

Love, they should be providing you with those things at this point.

16points

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#39

The very last thing I do before leaving the house in the morning is to get dressed, because the odds are I will get two or three body fluids on my clothes before I make it to the door.

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Final score:

43points

Mag Undisclosed

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

Always wise to dress last.

12points

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#40

I have asked someone to remove the glow stick from their nose BEFORE coming to the dinner table.

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Final score:

41points

Virginia Schwartz

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Ambry Petersen 2 years ago (edited)

Or ended up in the ER because of multiple carrot pieces shoved up a small nostril. Got home later and even more were snorted out during the night. I still wonder how anyone can shove that many cooked carrots up one nostril during a single napkin run.

15points

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#41

I have a tiny sock stuck to the Velcro on my jacket hood.

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40points

Mrs.S

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K-Hey 2 years ago

I'll bet it was single!

12points

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#42

I receive shopping lists from camp, not letters. 🤣

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39points

Shelli Aderman

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LinManuelMiranda 2 years ago

lol I used to do this I feel bad about it now though 😂

14points

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#43

I haven't slept in years...

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Final score:

38points

I don't like my name

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PalmKitty 2 years ago

Cheers I’ll drink to that bro

18points

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#44

I buy silverware 🍽 weekly...not plastic wares but silverware

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Final score:

38points

Kenny Beam

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Keisha Hall 2 years ago

We are definitely missing silverware. Just this morning, I decided to buy more...we have like 3 forks and 50 knives.

1point

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#45

I used to care so much about my appearance I wouldn't leve the house until I was completely made up, coordinated and accessorised. Now you would be lucky if I remember to take the child's knickers (clean) I'm using as a hair bobble out of my hair.

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Final score:

38points

Sinead Kenny

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Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

I haven't worn make up in over 5 years.

13points

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#46

Found a half eaten chocolate bar in my shoe yesterday... My work shoes. Super fun.

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Final score:

38points

Hannah

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Amy S 2 years ago

Did you finish it?

33points

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#47

I am the CEO of a small small cleaning service, which also provides addition services at no extra charge. Additionally I sit on the board of directors for a small bank BofM.

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Final score:

37points

Lucky2BAlive

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K-Hey 2 years ago

I thought about leaving a note in son's dresser stating something along the lines of "we don't have laundry gnomes, please put your damn clothes away" but I trained him to be a smart a*s and he'll start leaving dirty dishes around to "encourage their return"

28points

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#48

A toy car factory has exploded in my house.

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Final score:

37points

AlilSass05

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D Battle II 2 years ago

Yes!

8points

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#49

I have way more content knowledge than a person should have about show, sites, and games that have nothing to do with my job or interests.

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Final score:

37points

By Deleted User

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Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

Or know all the the frozen songs by heart, not be choice.

11points

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#50

Me: "Why are you licking the fridge?"
Nephew: "I'm a chameleon."

He was trying to open the fridge to get food. With his tongue, smh.

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36points

Samantha Pugh

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Jessica N 2 years ago

Love it!

12points

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#51

"Because" is a perfectly complete and full answer

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Final score:

35points

Grant Baxter

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PalmKitty 2 years ago

Agrhswidhwu I hate it when parents do this and I can’t wait to do it on my own kids because I’m as good as coming up with reasons as a shark is on a bike

26points

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#52

I have a collection of drinks called "Not Mine"

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Final score:

33points

Kenny Beam

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Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

And a mass of messes called "not me" or "I didn't do it".

18points

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#53

These shoulders have been adorned by many a spit-up.

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32points

Sleestak

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Lucky2BAlive 2 years ago

That’s wearable art. Irv - clean up on shoulder left!

0points

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#54

My car looks like a dumpster

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31points

Jake 1

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PalmKitty 2 years ago

So does my soul, your point?

27points

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#55

I always have a sink full of dirty dishes I didn’t create (alas no dishwasher)

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31points

Celia Karac

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Christina Odermatt 2 years ago

Oh oh oh me too! I am the dishwasher!

24points

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#56

Shayden...Elias...Aria...whatever your name is! Stop doing that!

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Final score:

31points

Brittany Davis

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DS Mom 2 years ago

My Grandmother used yell out, when she wanted to talk to my mom or one of her sisters, Jane, Jeanne, Janice, Joyce!!! Dang it!!! One of you J's!!!

14points

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#57

Can I please just p**s in peace!

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30points

Donna Smith

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Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

My little bro and his wife "we need our privacy". Me knowing what happens to privacy after you have children and trying not to laugh hysterically.

11points

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#58

I've cleaned poop off of walls.

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30points

Billy Greene

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Ramona Jackson 2 years ago

I've cleaned vomit from the ceiling.

17points

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#59

Where is my ________? As it walks past on someone else's body.

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Final score:

29points

Queen Boadicea

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

Yup.

4points

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#60

There's a Hot Wheels car in my box of tampons.

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29points

Cheshire Cat

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Ashley Deane 2 years ago

😂😂

5points

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#61

Just did laundry and already have 6 loads to do again

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29points

Jenny Jamming

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Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

Yup.

3points

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#62

I know far too much about Minecraft, a game I've never had any desire to play....

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28points

Faith Donovan

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Rachel Adorno 2 years ago

My son gave me a 2 hour description, trying to convince me to buy it for him.

13points

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#63

All of the pasta in my pantry, and all of the chicken nuggets in my freezer are shaped like animals.

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Final score:

28points

Leslie Payne

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*Displayname*=idk 2 years ago

My brother only ate the paw patrol macaroni for the longest time...

5points

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#64

Two of our five Disney + profiles = Princess KK and Dorkasaurus

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27points

enemjay82@yahoo.com

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Jennifer Martinez 2 years ago

Kiddo set Dad's as Lord Prancington III on one and Constable Soggy Bottom on another 🤣🤣🤣

17points

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#65

Maria BeRomero 1 minute ago
I am usually encountered in random places like a grocery store singing twinkle twinkle little star while been alone.

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27points

Maria BeRomero

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Margaret Hooper 2 years ago

My husband was caught rocking a bag of cement and whistling "I'm a Little Teapot" to it at the hardware store by his boss.

42points

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#66

I have witnessed the length and girth of freshly produced poop entirely too many times.

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27points

Gynger M. Goodlove

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Brooks Presnell 2 years ago

I hear "Dad, I'm done! Come wipe me!" In the distance every time I sit down to eat. Every. Time.

19points

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#67

I keep a box of Lego in the back seat of my car for boredom emergencies. My kids are in their 30s ... haven't lived with me for years.

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27points

Carla Prendergast

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Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

Useful for grandkids too.

7points

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#68

Not a parent, but an older sister.
I hid MANY candies in my old history books. Dante's Inferno, Brown's Da Vinci Code, full of candies. that's the only place my baby brother will never look into.

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27points

Kiwi_User

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Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

You will hade much more than that, and in a greater variety of places as a parent.

12points

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#69

All valuables must be put 3ft or higher out of reach

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25points

Jonathan Clark

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Amberlie Mikelsen 2 years ago

In locked upper cabinets in my case; I gave birth to 2 monkeys...

12points

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#70

Because I said so.

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25points

Mista Chris 13

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Ambry Petersen 2 years ago (edited)

After the fifteenth to twentieth time of explaining the same question "Because I said so" becomes a much more appealing answer.

7points

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#71

I can name all the pups from paw patrol. The sound of the snorts from Pepa pig's family makes me cringe - "muddy puddles" oh my horror

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24points

Carolyn Powell

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*Displayname*=idk 2 years ago

"Oh my horror" I love, don't mind me, I'm going to borrow that.

5points

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#72

I often have to clean up old pizza boxes and pop cans outside that have bb holes through them. Have night crawlers in my fridge and often have to look at and hear about cardboard tinfoil duct tape boats.

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23points

Toni Kay

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Dee 2 years ago

#boymom for sure

19points

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#73

Apparently I can Venmo allowances.

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Final score:

23points

db

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K-Hey 2 years ago

Hmmm... The ap won't allow me to hit send, seems to be a glitch in the full garbage can

31points

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#74

I was putting a shed together and was singing "Fruit Salad" by the Wiggles

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22points

Rusty

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Phyzzi 2 years ago

Yummy yummy

4points

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#75

I'm pretty sure I could clog a shop-vac with the contents from within our couch cushions.

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22points

Armene Webster

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the_casscass 2 years ago

This.

1point

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#76

I've seen every Episode of "Bluey" so many times I can recite them.

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Final score:

22points

Tiffiny Kamps

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*Displayname*=idk 2 years ago

Oh my stars of Jesus! I can too! It bothers me when I try to sleep at night. ..

6points

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#77

I installed locks at the top of my bedroom and bathroom doors.

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22points

Leslie Payne

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Charley Harward 2 years ago

just no comment

1point

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#78

I co-habitate with a jerk named 'Not Me' that LITERALLY does nothing and everything. Somehow, my other co-habitants knows this person on a deep level, yet none have seen them. I can't wait for this jerk to turn 18 and move the eff out....

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Final score:

22points

Drth Geek

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Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

Also known as "I didn't do it." And "Not mine".

11points

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#79

I will forever store toys, graduation gowns and a wedding dress of someone who doesn't live with me anymore.

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Final score:

22points

C B

POST

Lashonda Jones 2 years ago

YES

1point

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#80

Most items in my purse come from mother nature and 'can easily be recycled or re-used'.

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Final score:

21points

My Full Name Is Way Too Long

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#81

I have had to explain more than once that people don't break out in song and dance anywhere we go. Ever.

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Final score:

21points

Amanda Penton

POST

ButterflyMcQueen 2 years ago

I'm afraid I'm going to have to respectfully have to disagree. This is a regular occurrence on my mother's side of the family, occasionally, embarrassingly in public.

12points

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#82

Even I'm glad school is out.

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20points

BadCat

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K-Hey 2 years ago

For about 2 weeks

14points

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#83

My wife went to Aldis one morning. Apparently when she opened her shopping bag it was full of teething toys.

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Final score:

19points

Mikey Kliss

POST

Rachel Adorno 2 years ago

Allison is a grocery store in the Midwest of the United States. They do not provide grocery bags. You bring them or put your groceries in a box or hand carry them individually.

5points

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#84

I usually eat leftovers from many different plates

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19points

awingard1

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Amberlie Mikelsen 2 years ago

Oh, what's really bad is they'll only eat what's on your plate, so you get stuck with their cold meal...

3points

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#85

My shopping list list consists names next to the items so I know if the item can be substituted or not. The world almost ended last week when I bought gummy bears and no gummy worms.

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Final score:

19points

Amanda Penton

POST

Nicky 2 years ago

I know what gummy bears look like when you microwave them.

0points

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#86

I have at least 6 completely empty boxes in the pantry and 4 open cabinet doors.

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Final score:

19points

Susan

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

Sounds like an infestation of giant two legged raccoons. Also known as Rugrats.

7points

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#87

Speaking to my friends as if they were small children.

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Final score:

18points

Elizabeth VanDyke

POST

Nancy Fralic 2 years ago

I was guilty of that as an elementary teacher

7points

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#88

I'm the punching bag for a set of first year hockey twins

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Final score:

18points

Sam Casset

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

Since I'm pregnant my husband is the punching bag for the child outside the belly. I'm the punching bag for the one inside it.

9points

reply

#89

My husband just said “the floor is lava” instead of the “floor is yours” during a presentation

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Final score:

18points

Crysta

POST

Vanessa 2 years ago

How many were on the chairs, benches, tables?

2points

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#90

Bought decorations and food yesterday, cleaned and DIYed a whole pink ocean theme room today. Ready for bday bbq for tomorrow.

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Final score:

17points

Cheryl Alonzo

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

Mine wants an otter party. Waiting to see if she changes her mind in the next few months.

5points

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#91

I have taken a pick axe to the side of my garden to create a "construction site" so that the excavators don't dig up my cucumbers. Every morning the house is clean, and two hours into the day I can't walk in a straight line. And I've had to ask why boogers are on the wall or smiley faces are drawn in poop on the sports car I don't get to use anymore in the garage.

Report

Final score:

17points

Wayward

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

Or why boogers are one the side of the bathtub, or used tissues hidden under the covers of you bed.

2points

reply

#92

There are tissues in varying states of use in my left cargo shorts pocket at all times.

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Final score:

17points

Robbie D.

POST

#93

"WAAAÀALK!"

Also: I know the name of every crayola crayon color.

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Final score:

17points

Natalie L

POST

*Displayname*=idk 2 years ago

The Crayon part needs an award!

6points

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#94

My rearview mirror is adorned with a pacifier hanging from a lanyard

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Final score:

17points

Janet Brookey

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

My bedroom wall by the light switch is adorned with stickers. Whenever I remove them more seem to appear.

5points

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#95

I function as a cook, teacher, nurse, counselor, maid, entertainer, and human pillow- and I do it all for free.

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Final score:

16points

Tricia Burcell

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

You forgot chauffer, jungle gym, referee, police officer, judge, spider squisher, teacher, search and rescue for lost items, etc etc.

11points

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#96

I've watched all of "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse"

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Final score:

15points

Mist

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

Given the quality of the new cartoons I miss Mickey Mouse club house.

9points

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#97

I have said the words "No that hole is not a poop shoot, put your underwear on right."

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Final score:

15points

Makenzie West

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

So far have a daughter, but am expecting a son in just a few months, I expect I will become very familiar with that phrase.

4points

reply

#98

(Cat owner)
Every two minutes or so, a “bwurr” is echoed through the house.

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Final score:

14points

PalmKitty

POST

Ugly.rat.lol 2 years ago

Shame.

7points

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#99

There is one show in the house that you hear way more than any other... Cocomelon. There's also the song... We Don't Talk About Bruno

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Final score:

14points

MessyMind32

POST

Samia Guled 2 years ago

This is the daily things In my family, I'd give ANYTHING to not be brainwashed with encanto.

8points

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#100

All cookies, candies, and chips are in a locked cabinet over the fridge. The cleaning products are in an unlocked cabinet under the sink.

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Final score:

14points

Renee Smith

POST

Crazy Mom 2 years ago

This. Especially kver the summer... this!!!

1point

reply

#101

I can tell you... Wait. GET THAT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!... I do not care that the dog gave it to you... So I can... Hold on. Uhm. What was the question...?

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Final score:

14points

Krockodial Panda

POST

Brenda 2 years ago

LOL 😆

4points

reply

#102

I have a basket with several mateless shoes and sneakers.

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Final score:

13points

Laura Travis

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

And socks. Very lonely socks.

7points

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#103

I used to hate cold coffee but now it's almost all I'm able to drink.

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Final score:

13points

Coral Healey

POST

Tricia Burcell 2 years ago (edited)

That’s why I use a leak-proof, insulated travel mug at home!

4points

reply

#104

I’m tired

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Final score:

13points

Erika Beseda

POST

Lashonda Jones 2 years ago

SAYS EVERY PARENT EVER.

1point

reply

#105

I just bought some dork diaries books from the library (my mom 4 years ago POV)

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Final score:

12points

Justaboredpotato

POST

#106

French fries or goldfish crackers on the floor of the car

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Final score:

12points

John Bulatowicz

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

Poptart crumbs in the bed.

3points

reply

#107

I have learned to "talk" for the stuffed cats. Things start with an "m"

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Final score:

12points

Lorna Anne Skinner Emmons

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

Have had to mount major rescue operations for toys that fell behind the bed.

7points

reply

#108

I call my husband Daddy in a non-sexual way

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Final score:

12points

Lytha Hawkeye

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

Once you have children the libido tends to back off a good way.

2points

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#109

I made up names for animals and kids on the street, since I got scolded for not knowing their names by a two year old.

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Final score:

12points

Ms. Andee Dill

POST

#110

screaming kids, toilet paper mummies, kids rolled up in "avocado" blankets

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Final score:

11points

samuel the (???)

POST

asexualotl (she/her) 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

#111

Is that poop or chocolate?

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Final score:

11points

Susan

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

A question parents will ask many many times throught thier lives.

5points

reply

#112

I don't remember the last time I was able to stay home alone. Without kids or hubby🥺. I have to leave the house if I want a moment of peace and quiet. Not even bathroom time is sacred.

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Final score:

11points

Lilninjasmom2018

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

Which is why it's so hard not to laugh listening to my little bro and his wife (who want kids) saying how they need thier privacy.

4points

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#113

Wet floors and doors that seem to not close.

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Final score:

11points

Ella Ann

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

And muddy tracks on the carpet that reappear everything you clean then.

2points

reply

#114

I once found a cheeseburger in my purse that had been there a couple of days.

Report

Final score:

11points

WitchyWoo

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago (edited)

Eeewwww. Almost as bad as the half eaten donut in the carseat cup holder that had been there for a week, that my child tried to take a bite out of Incident.

2points

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#115

Going to the supermarket/Target/CVS by myself feels like a vacation on a tropical island.

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Final score:

11points

Mediocre Genius

POST

Sharon 2 years ago

Emergency stay at the hospital for severe kidney infection...bought souvenirs for the my 2 kids to prove I thought about them all the time I was gone

1point

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#116

Where is my ________? As it walks past on someone else's body.

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Final score:

10points

Queen Boadicea

POST

#117

Toot toot Chugga chugga big red car on a loop in my head. OH and the snot! Copious amounts of snot. Uggh.

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Final score:

10points

hirakhan_101@yahoo.ca

POST

#118

Several of my most treasured pieces of jewelry are made of rainbow plastic pony beads.

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Final score:

10points

Alisha VanHoose Torres

POST

Amberlie Mikelsen 2 years ago

Or popcorn and macaroni

3points

reply

#119

I yell everyday" STOP YELLING"

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Final score:

10points

candice arrington

POST

Lashonda Jones 2 years ago

SO DO I

1point

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#120

I have had projectile poop in my eye.
(It burns!)

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Final score:

9points

Alyssa Lupo-Zulueta

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

The day I brought my daughter home from the hospital, pooped on peed on and puked on...all on the same day. That was my initiation to motherhood.

4points

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#121

I drive minivan.

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Final score:

9points

J_Dub

POST

Ashley Deane 2 years ago

Enough said

2points

reply

#122

In my purse I always have bandaids, fruit snacks, Tylenol, Advil, lactose intolerance pills (which I am not!), hard candies, safety pins, a pen & paper.

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Final score:

9points

SaDawna Mc Cart-Stebben

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

Plus hand wipes, tums, crayons, and small toy parts.

3points

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#123

There were Littlest Pet Shop animals in the manger at Christmas time "because Jesus needed more animals"

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Final score:

9points

Kelly Sage

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

Or extra dolls

1point

reply

#124

I make up lullabies on the fly...at 3 in the morning

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Final score:

9points

Christine Skinkis

POST

Elaine Harley 2 years ago

"My Bonnie" is a family lullaby that I used with my kids. If I needed extra verses I would switch out "Bonnie" for a family member's name!

1point

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#125

I grapoed hold of a stranger's hand at the road side and said...."hold my Danny". I also pointed to a horse out of the bus window and said..."look, a poppo"

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Final score:

8points

Babs Hunt

POST

Charley Harward 2 years ago

no comment

1point

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#126

I had two extra kids named Ida Know and Ont Know living in my house.

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Final score:

8points

Renee Smith

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

I have Ida Know, and "I didn't do that", and "not me" and "nobody"...none of which I have ever actually seen. Plus the plethora of my child's imaginary friends who seem to be almost permanent residents.

2points

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#127

Every chair I regularly sit in has a roll of paper towel within reach.

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Final score:

8points

Marian B

POST

#128

I never feel like I am doing enough.

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Final score:

8points

Annie Brod

POST

Ashley Deane 2 years ago

This is all parents but not JUST parents. This is literally every one at most times. The fact that you worry you aren't doing enough, shows you're probably doing fine.

4points

reply

#129

The sound of silence isn't just a great song from Disturbed but is also the sound I fear the most coming from the bedroom

Report

Final score:

8points

RandomPanda648

POST

pemdas927 2 years ago

*Simon and Garfunkel.

5points

reply

#130

I have heard every spoiler to every movie that I don't even want to see.

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Final score:

8points

Aubrey Mortensen

POST

Nicky 2 years ago

I have seen the "Emoji movie." 'Nuf said.

1point

reply

#131

Not Mine, Wasn't Me, and I didn't do it are all my roommates. Though I don't remember inviting them to stay with me in my home. 🙃🤔🤪

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Final score:

8points

JT Taylor

POST

Norma Nelson 2 years ago

At least they won't eat u out of food

0points

reply

#132

Know all the words to the Pokemon theme and names of all of Ash's pokemon from every region I used to only know pikachu and jigglypuff

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Final score:

7points

Beautifullybroken

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

Or the name of every my little pony character.

1point

reply

#133

My hair has been used to wipe a snotty nose clean

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Final score:

7points

Anne van Vught

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

My clothes seem to be my children's personal tissues.

5points

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#134

I just had to yell, "Don't poke that spider with your finger!"

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Final score:

7points

Debbie Boyd Cochran

POST

Debbie Boyd Cochran (Submission author) 2 years ago

I'm extremely scared of spiders, but I had this one in a bowl to try to identify it. She wanted to see what it's *defensive mode* looked like.

3points

reply

#135

Every time I open the shower curtain to step in, there are many and various types of toys laying in the tub. Most of them aren't even made for water so I have to scoop them all up and lay them on a towel to dry just to get in the shower. Same thing the next day. It never ends.

Report

Final score:

7points

WitchyWoo

POST

Crazy Mom 2 years ago

We have toy bucket by the tub. I realized, just as my son was throwing his favorite battery operated bull dozer into the tub, my horrible mistake.

2points

reply

#136

My son greeted my husband "HI Steve. Oops I mean dad." My husband is named James. Blues clues was important.

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Final score:

7points

Chris Layland

POST

#137

How do you get permanent marker off a cat??!!….asking for a friend😬

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Final score:

7points

Martha Hall

POST

Renee Smith 2 years ago

Just wait. New fur will grow in eventually.

2points

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#138

My house has a constant tornado that seems to be as violent as the storm on Jupiter, has forced me to utter "don't stick your finger there" and "that's not where that goes" on thousands of occasions, and seems to have a new and absolutely random question waaay to complicated for me to answer in a moments time every .25 seconds...

Also, I have one friend. Her name is Voda Ka and we speak often. She understands me lmao.

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Final score:

7points

Verified Losr

POST

#139

I've gone to work wearing nail polish on my toes and fingers, because small humans needed to both be nail technicians and I was the only victim... I mean customer available...

Report

Final score:

7points

Garry Earnest

POST

#140

Final score:

6points

ㅤㅤㅤ

POST

Shyla Clay 2 years ago

This one seems lacking, somehow.

37points

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#141

I'm pretty sure I could clog a shop-vac with the contents from within our couch cushions.

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Final score:

6points

Armene Webster

POST

Karen Kaiser 2 years ago

Repeat

0points

reply

#142

I have taken a pick axe to the side of my garden to create a "construction site" so that the excavators don't dig up my cucumbers. Every morning the house is clean, and two hours into the day I can't walk in a straight line. And I've had to ask why boogers are on the wall or smiley faces are drawn in poop on the sports car I don't get to use anymore in the garage.

Report

Final score:

6points

Wayward

POST

Dave Hinckley 2 years ago

I put a fence, with a gate, around my garden to keep out the "deer"

4points

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#143

Petroleum jelly is difficult to remove, even off a water-loving labrador

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Final score:

6points

Claire Cochrane

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

Try dawn dish soap.

3points

reply

#144

"PANTS! Where are your pants?"
😳😳
"Who peed on the carpet?" Didn't always apply to the dogs.
🤨🤨

Report

Final score:

6points

ButterflyMcQueen

POST

Liz Rogers 2 years ago

Or "Who peed off the roof?"

1point

reply

#145

(Daycare teacher)

I know that it's a bad idea to give 16 two year olds apple juice immediately after they've woken up from nap, have repeatedly uttered the words "No, Thank You! We don't drink water from off the ground!", Can change diapers like a speed racer, and know that all it takes to stop a crying chain of toddlers is to bring out the fabric tunnel.

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Final score:

6points

LilKiwiBoi42

POST

#146

I think it's quite a parent personally.

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Final score:

6points

Phyzzi

POST

Piano 2 years ago

Dad was here

3points

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#147

I can make pot of coffee with one hand.

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Final score:

6points

B

POST

#148

Yelled at my teenager for not packing up his stuff to head out to out of state college tomorrow (i had been telling him to do it for 3 weeks).

Got mad! Yelled! And immediately went to the bathroom and cried because he's going to out if state college tomorrow.

I'm conflicted!

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Final score:

6points

glenys c.

POST

#149

The dog is covered in raw eggs and chocolate syrup!

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Final score:

5points

Renee Smith

POST

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

Like the mystery stain on the floor.

1point

reply

#150

They know everything.

Report

Final score:

5points

Sally Garcia

POST

#151

I can never do anything for longer than 10 minutes unless it's between the times of 2 and 4 pm.

Report

Final score:

5points

Ajaho

POST

Ajaho (Submission author) 2 years ago

And then, I only want to nap.

4points

reply

#152

Where are all my cell phone chargers?

Report

Final score:

5points

Erika Beseda

POST

#153

There is a secret squatter in my home named "Not Me", and they happen to make lots of messes ....

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Final score:

5points

Tiffy Dayne

POST

Nancy Hunter 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

reply

#154

I'm fluent in English, sigh and eye roll

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Final score:

5points

I Tried This At Home

POST

Lashonda Jones 2 years ago

AND SARCASM. DON'T FORGET SARCASM.

2points

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#155

Well, one of my three best friends stopped by today; however, I was so tired I decided to take a two-hour nap. She must not have minded a bit because she new better than to wake me.

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Final score:

4points

Renee Hessell

POST

#156

We don’t talk about Bruno… except when we do. 3,456,989 times a day.

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Final score:

4points

Brittney Stanley

POST

Nicky 2 years ago

My money don't jiggle jiggle, it folds; I like to see you wiggle wiggle for sure.

0points

reply

#157

Their food plates are untouched.
As I fight to protect my food on my plate. Dispite all plates holding the exact same food items.

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Final score:

4points

Linda Dueling

POST

Nicky 2 years ago

This needs to be much higher up.

0points

reply

#158

There were french fries in the VCR. Apparently, it was hungry. Side note, VCRs do not like french fries,

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Final score:

4points

Heather W

POST

pemdas927 2 years ago

How old is this post¿ lol

2points

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#159

I have a hatred and fear of Lego blocks in the living room leaping under my bare feet in the early morning.

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Final score:

4points

Sean Machado

POST

#160

I had no idea I could ruin someone's day by giving them the wrong spoon.

Report

Final score:

4points

Sissy TheEvil

POST

#161

I have had to tell someone to stop being mean to their cheese...

Report

Final score:

4points

Jessica Mugnaini

POST

Lashonda Jones 2 years ago

I'D LOVE TO HEAR THE STORY BEHIND THAT ONE...

3points

reply

#162

I told you to go get your pajamas on and brush your teeth. I get to listen to a hissy fit for the next 30 minutes because obviously I have ruined your life.

Report

Final score:

4points

Miche B

POST

Nicky 2 years ago

I get woken up in the middle of the night with a demand to go to the Lego store. I explain it's closed, it's raining, school's tomorrow, I have to work, and it's in another city. Repeat every 30 min. until morning, when I hear, "I'm sleeping."

0points

reply

#163

There are tissues in varying states of use in my left cargo shorts pocket at all times.

Report

Final score:

3points

Robbie D.

POST

Karen Kaiser 2 years ago

Repeat

0points

reply

#164

My rearview mirror is adorned with a pacifier hanging from a lanyard

Report

Final score:

3points

Janet Brookey

POST

#165

I learned to love the burnt fries in an order.

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Final score:

3points

heydave56

POST

Nicky 2 years ago

Brilliant!

0points

reply

#166

Constantly saying "I'm not a bank!" My kids are 29 and 21.
Legos NEVER leave. 16 years of them in storage and I still occasionally find a stray!

Report

Final score:

3points

Brenda

POST

Norma Nelson 2 years ago

They escaped the box

1point

reply

#167

I know all the words to the Paw Patrol, PJ Mask, and Team Umizoomi theme songs. As well as all the characters names.

Report

Final score:

3points

Reyna Blake

POST

Lashonda Jones 2 years ago

MY GOODNESS. SO DO I

0points

reply

#168

Most days I end up carrying an extra 20-25 lbs around the house that's not even my own weight...

Report

Final score:

3points

Kowen3415

POST

#169

I could spend all day cleaning but by bedtime it looks like a tornado went through my house..😮‍💨

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Final score:

3points

Stacey P

POST

Norma Nelson 2 years ago

Mine is like that all the time

2points

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#170

I have a large assortment of papers with what looks to be nothing but scribbles, sloppy random brush strokes. However I've been informed the are boats, the ocean, and any combination of things you could imagine

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Final score:

3points

Garry Earnest

POST

#171

My algorithm thinks I'm a gangsta rap listening, Roblox playing, jazz loving, challenge taking, hard working, trend dancing human being.

Report

Final score:

3points

Dick Sawkins

POST

ㅤㅤㅤ 2 years ago

2points

reply

#172

I answer the question " why " over 500 times per day.

Report

Final score:

3points

Jessica Griffioen

POST

#173

My favorite phrases are "it starts with p, ends with an e, and is all manners" and "that doesn't go up your nose or in your mouth"

Report

Final score:

3points

Mykidsartrocks

POST

#174

I have found petrified chicken nuggets in and under the couch.
I never have to worry about a burglar breaking in, because my floors are minefields, especially in the dark.
Poop talk is a constant.
I hide candy in empty tampon boxes.
I eat candy in the bathroom. With the door locked.
I have called out, 'You! With the face!' and they know who I am talking too.
I yell, 'Stop Running in the House' 2,394,103 times a day.
I once prided myself on my cooking. Now, everything I cook is 'Gross' unless premade and bought from the store. At least my husband and friends still like my cooking. But my confidence has taken a massive hit.
When I go to the store alone, I check the back seat.
Every doctor visit requires a trip to Dollar Tree afterwards.
Laundry is NEVER ENDING.
Never enough socks.
Apparently, one can subsist on popsciles and ice alone.

Report

Final score:

3points

the_casscass

POST

the_casscass (Submission author) 2 years ago

Oh, and I can change a diaper one handed.

1point

reply

#175

Was at a restaurant with a friend, tried something new. When she asked me how it was I said, "Oh, it's nummy num nums."

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Final score:

3points

Alison Kennedy

POST

Sharon 2 years ago

Lol

2points

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#176

Glitter everywhere.
Chicken nuggets for dinner
Why is this sticky?

Report

Final score:

3points

Celia Nunn

POST

Nicky 2 years ago (edited)

Was told by airport security that my backpack beeped because glitter sometimes sets off the chemical detection equipment.

1point

reply

#177

I have a formula that gets markers and crayons off walls.

Report

Final score:

3points

Crafty mama

POST

#178

I crochet but I can't fit my work in the bag due to all the bandages liquid stitch and meds. Instead of hooks it's all colored pencils

Report

Final score:

2points

S Nash

POST

#179

My husband just said “the floor is lava” instead of the “floor is yours” during a presentation

Report

Final score:

2points

Crysta

POST

Karen Kaiser 2 years ago

Repeat

1point

reply

#180

Uh=truck, wa'a=water, ay=train, mirl=milk, ee=cheese or please, etc.

Also currently looking for a minivan because in a few months there won't be any more room in our car.

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Final score:

2points

Ajaho

POST

#181

I sway back and forth usually humming a soothing tune when not at home and by myself
I also tend to rock the shopping carriage back and forth humming or lightly singing, also by myself.

Report

Final score:

2points

CMKL

POST

CMKL (Submission author) 2 years ago

I have an 'under construction' sign in the middle of my living room.

2points

reply

#182

Which one are you again? Out of 7 no one ever remembered my name (middle kid). I was called jack one day. The dogs name.

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Final score:

2points

Nancy Hunter

POST

ButterflyMcQueen 2 years ago

I can relate to this. I'm only 1 of 4 and the only one who's name doesn't start with M. I'm the 3rd girl so I get called everything including my aunt's name (her name starts with M), my brother's name, and I share a middle name with my mom's favorite female chihuahua ☹

1point

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#183

I am a walking tissue / napkin.

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Final score:

2points

Curious Panda

POST

#184

Sometimes I find myself quietly humming "I love you, you love me..." and have to force myself to stop.

Report

Final score:

2points

Jason B.

POST

Karen Kaiser 2 years ago

Or let it go.

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#185

I have 2 refrigerators and a pantry all completely stocked with food. I am told multiple times a day that we "Never have anything to eat in this house!"

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Brandy Vitatoe

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Karen Kaiser 2 years ago

Or they have nothing to wear especially my streaker who once the diapers went or stinky they keep going til it hits the floor then step out of it and keep going. I only know when hubby steps in it and bellows

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#186

There is a happy face sticker on every doorknob in the house, and a big one on the inside of the toilet lid…

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2points

Susan Howell

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#187

Sleep? Ahh, I remember sleep. Many moons ago there was plenty of it to go around.

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2points

Lgndry Nomads

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Lashonda Jones 2 years ago

NOW? NOT SO MUCH. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY OPEN YOUR EYE AT 6 IN THE MORNING ON SATURDAY TO SEE IF YOU'RE "AWAKE YET"

1point

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#188

When it's time to put away a toy (or some other object), said item is "sleepy/needs to go to it's home."

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2points

I'mNotARoboat

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I'mNotARoboat (Submission author) 2 years ago

*typo: its home.

1point

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#189

"I have a tattoo!" He stood in the mirror and drew Pokémon on his chest in permanent marker.

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2points

Crafty mama

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#190

I yell, "get in the car!,". about the same amount as I yell, "get out of the car!" And yet... Still no one listens.

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2points

Miche B

POST

Bauwb (Submission author) 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

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#191

wait.. Season 4 of Strangers Things came out?

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2points

Brianna Barkman

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Nicky 2 years ago

What is Stranger Things? Is that on PBS Kids?

1point

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#192

I need a break after my holiday.

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2points

J.J. Dekker

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#193

I know where to find mommy, daddy, brother and sister finger at any given time

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2points

Hillary Fisher

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Nicky 2 years ago

You mean Johnny Johnny Johnny Johnny Whoops Johnny Whoops Johnny Johnny Johnny Johnny

1point

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#194

Toilet not flushing by finding a whole roll of toilet paper, a doll, and a about 15 wrappers for candy.

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Final score:

2points

Matt Farnsworth

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#195

Them on Monday "good weekend"
Me "meh"
Then "what did you get up to?"
Me (desperately tries to thing of the most glamorous way of saying "survived while dreading Monday")

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Final score:

2points

Adam Eve

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#196

I know the difference between Master C heif and Nathan Drake

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Final score:

1point

Trish Peavey

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Amberlie Mikelsen 2 years ago

That doesn't mean you're a parent, that just means you have a man-child living in your house; be it brother, significant other, or Dad

1point

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#197

I found a chunk of hair on the bathroom floor.

Now to do shades check.

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Final score:

1point

Vanessa

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#198

To say it like Downton Abby: Weekend? What's a weekend?

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Final score:

1point

ElaHuhubi

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#199

What's a weekend?

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1point

ElaHuhubi

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#200

On more than one occasion while pulling into the driveway I have said the words I know you have to pee but please do not pee in the backyard the kitchen doors 10 ft away

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Final score:

1point

Izzy

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#201

i smell like puke or p**s.or puke and p**s

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Final score:

1point

Sal Salsafiyya

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Jason B. 2 years ago

Sounds like a lot of weekends in college

1point

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#202

The school called........

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Final score:

1point

Elizabeth Chandler

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Jodie Sz 2 years ago

The police called me at work from my home phone.

1point

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#203

I was baking a cake around 11 pm. Then I decorated it with a picture of Neymar Jr.

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Final score:

1point

Katarzyna Satława

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Nicky 2 years ago

I buy Happy Meals and use the toys as cake toppings.

2points

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#204

I know that I have too many towels for any reasonable place, let just say clumsy can be transferred

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Final score:

1point

Maryse Faucher

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#205

I wake up at ungodly hours of morning to provide transport for younger humans to their activities. (They both can drive now and I still provide this service)

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Final score:

1point

Krista Salerno

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Krista Salerno (Submission author) 2 years ago

To clarify. This was a liocation where parking would have been costly (Comic Con) and difficult to find. 99.9% of their stuff they can drive to and from. But the rare case, I am happy to be the mom shuttle at 4am

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#206

I eat the crust only sometimes lol

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1point

Kathryn M Makin

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Norma Nelson 2 years ago

U can have mine I cut it off unless I'm with company

0points

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#207

That wasn’t candy…

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Final score:

1point

Pamela Kay

POST

Norma Nelson 2 years ago

It was rabbit doo doo

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#208

I know 8 birthdates by heart and often have to repeat them several times a day. Just imagine moving more than once with all the doctors, dentists, schools, insurance companies, emergency rooms...

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Final score:

1point

Liz Rogers

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Karen Kaiser 2 years ago

I know a lady talking to a doctor about her daughter only to realize the doctor she was talking to was the vet calling about the dog and didn't realize til 20 minutes into the call lol

2points

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#209

The list of nice things we will buy, and when we will refinish the floors gets longer and further away.

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Final score:

1point

Stymied Egan

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#210

I had to replace carpeting because it was painted with red fingernail polish.

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Final score:

1point

Georgia Carroll

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#211

I have enough snacks on the back floor of my truck, for a week of camping

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Final score:

1point

Jesse Anglin

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#212

Laundry is eternal...

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Final score:

1point

Tiona Todoruk

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Lashonda Jones 2 years ago

YES. IT IS. (CRIES)

0points

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#213

I find myself preforming the same household tasks (Picking up cups/plates/bowls/clothes/shoes etc) only to go back a couple of hours later to find "not mine's" cup/plate/bowl/clothes/shoes, etc have appeared.

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Final score:

1point

Shamika Taylor

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#214

It's 1:45am. First shift completed. Clean and fed, down for the count.

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Final score:

1point

Jacob Erickson

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#215

You never have any spoons or forks in the utensils drawer-- EVER!

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Final score:

1point

Chinida Davis

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#216

Who do it? No body!! Who made you cry? No one!!

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Final score:

1point

Tericka Lane

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#217

Let me get you a juice box. They're in my purse. Snack? Ok, got those in there too.

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Final score:

1point

Sharon McIlhargey

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#218

I have no fear of poop, vomit, or pee. Also I can find the halflings.

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Final score:

1point

Kristina Cabral

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#219

"Don't lick your brother's butt"

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Final score:

1point

Abby

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#220

I have more Lego men than shower gels and shampoos in my shower

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Final score:

1point

DuckDuckGoose

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#221

I give kisses on chubby cheeks despite getting punched before 🤣

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Final score:

1point

Yayheterogeneity

POST

#222

I saw the Emoji movie.

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Final score:

1point

Nicky

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#223

"Why is the fridge open?"

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Final score:

1point

Heather Murphy

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#224

I have said "we do not pp in cup holders"

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Final score:

1point

RajunCajun

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#225

Each time I see something prefixed with the word "baby" (e.g. baby carrots, baby leaf lettuce) the words/tune "do-do, do-do-do-do" automatically follows in my head.

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Final score:

1point

Sue Denham

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#226

I have taken a pick axe to the side of my garden to create a "construction site" so that the excavators don't dig up my cucumbers. Every morning the house is clean, and two hours into the day I can't walk in a straight line. And I've had to ask why boogers are on the wall or smiley faces are drawn in poop on the sports car I don't get to use anymore in the garage.

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Final score:

0points

Wayward

POST

Karen Kaiser 2 years ago

Repeat again.

1point

reply

#227

I can make pot of coffee with one hand.

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Final score:

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B

POST

Karen Kaiser 2 years ago

Repeat

1point

reply

#228

Aww the sweet smell of, Oh no it's nail polish!

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Vanessa

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#229

To say it like Downton Abby: Weekend? What's a weekend?

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Final score:

0points

ElaHuhubi

POST

Karen Kaiser 2 years ago

Repeat

0points

reply

#230

I have 2 refrigerators and a pantry all completely stocked with food. I am told multiple times a day that we "Never have anything to eat in this house!"

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Final score:

0points

Brandy Vitatoe

POST

Karen Kaiser 2 years ago

Repeat

0points

reply

#231

I just did my laundry and am so excited that I have clean nipple pads lol

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0points

NIki McKay

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#232

Annual mileage in my car - around 8000 miles. Percentage of those miles that are not actually 'Taxi-ing daughter around' - Probably around 10 % :)

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Peej Maybe

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#233

Going to the washroom?--!! Lmao!!!

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0points

Heather Church

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#234

Ur quiet!!!!

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Final score:

0points

Heather Church

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#235

In my purse I have baby teeth that aren’t mine. The tooth fairy has to do something with them!

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0points

Imnotthatpanda

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#236

It's rare when the house is clean.

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0points

Julianne M

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#237

Ask your mother.

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Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez

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#238

Ask your mother.

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Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez

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#239

While I was folding laundry, my youngest informed me that me put a lego up his bum. Why?! Because it was itchy. Afterwards, he proceeded to get upset when I wouldn’t let him keep said lego. Thank heavens it was a smooth one and not a big brick!

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Jen&Tonic

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#240

Them on Monday : c

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Adam Eve

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#241

I was given a new name at age 27, I share it with millions of other Americans, and whenever someone says it, a group of neurons in my brain lights up.

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0points

yellowphantom

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#242

I wake up every morning by at least six o'clock although I'd love to sleep at least til 8...

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0points

Yayheterogeneity

POST

#243

When I open my handbag to get my purse I have to rummage through diapers, wipes, cookies, bottles, books, etc.

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0points

Yayheterogeneity

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#244

I haven't been on a romantic holidays for 20 years

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Limey Cheesehead

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#245

About 19 years after I got married my grocery bill had a dramatic drop.

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Chich

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#246

1. I’ve been handed a nugget of poop
2. Every morning I have to ask someone if they put on underwear
3. I dine at a restaurant daily and eat pancakes out of a bowl
4. I am a master at silently opening food wrappers
5. I make ‘comfy spots’ nightly, but I never get to enjoy them
6. I own a pair of sound dampening ear plugs and haven’t been to a concert in 4 years
7. I hide in the bathroom
8. I haven’t uttered the words ‘I’m bored’ in 10 years
9. I get jumped on anytime I crouch to grab something from a low cabinet
10. Going to work feels like a break

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Dont Sellmyinfo

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#247

In the past year, I've learned how to make a peacock sound when it shows up in a book, and I can produce varying roars for tigers and lions, and different humming styles for bees, wasps, bumblebees and dragon flies. Because, of course, it's vital that they don't sound the same!

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Pizzagirl 91

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#248

Trying to "sleep in" past 5am means waking up repeatedly with a foot in your mouth.

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Pizzagirl 91

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#249

Hugging is a non-negotiable, essential part of my day.

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Pizzagirl 91

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#250

Me telling my cat : Elfo you can't lay there
Elfo: looks at me as he lay down on the baby who is taking a nap.
The baby: waaaaaa
Me: wow real cool bro, now you put him to sleep.
Elfo: falls asleep 😴
😩

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Final score:

0points