Hey Pandas, Tell Me Your Funniest Joke (Closed)

Tell us about a joke that always makes you laugh.

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I burned 600 calories today. This is the last time I nap while my brownies are baking. 🤣

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Final score:

3points

Sophie Whitbread

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Mine's a bit rude, please feel free to remove if necessary.

François, the famous French Fighter pilot, was having a picnic in the countryside with his new girlfriend.
She says [in a thick French accent], 'Oh François! Will you kiss me?'
He reaches into the picnic basket and pulls out a bottle of red wine, rips the cork out with his teeth, splashes the red wine all her her mouth and proceeds to kiss her like she's never been kissed before.
Breathless, she says, 'François zat was increadible... but, why the red wine?'
'Because I am François, Ze famous French fighter pilot, when I have red meat, I have red wine'
'Oh François, will you kiss me lower?'
He reaches inside the picnic basket, pulls out a bottle of white wine, rips the cork out with his teeth, tears open her blouse, splashes the wine all over her breasts and kisses them like she never been kissed before'.
Now even more breathless, she says, 'François, that was amazing... but why the white wine?'
'Because I am François, Ze famous French fighter pilot, when I have white meat, I have White wine'
'Oh François... Will you kiss me lower?' she says as she pulls up her skirt..
He reaches into the picnic basket, pulls out a bottle of cognac, splashes it all over her, takes out his lighter and sets her alight.
She screams 'François!!! What are you doing?'
'I am François, Ze famous French fighter pilot, and when I go down, I go down in flames!'

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Final score:

2points

Donkey boi

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Vibe Check 3 years ago

That’s amazing 🤣

1point

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

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Final score:

1point

Aelita Senvaitytė

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The doctor put Jake on a seafood diet. A week later, his wife noticed that he still eating other foods besides sea food. So she asked him why and his reply was, "The doctor said I'm on a seafood diet! I am! I see food and I eat it!"

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Final score:

1point