Shower thoughts!
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Megaphones and Microphones do the same thing
Fantasize about fictional character’s being in my world. I half expected them to be on the couch when I come out.
1) Are we closer to the beginning of time, or to the end of our existence?
2) Isn’t it funny how the amount of people older than you never changes?
3) The fact that its weird talking to yourself, but not singing to yourself?
4) Randomly hearing your favorite song on the radio is more exciting or entertaining than just playing it from your choice.
5) Plants are practically farming us, giving us oxygen and providing needs until we expire and turn into mulch which they consume for their better living.
6) Lawyers hope you get sued, doctors hope you get sick, cops hope you’re a criminal, mechanics hope you have car trouble, but only a thief wishes prosperity for you.
7) Think about it, as a kid, not noticing it, you too are watching your parents grow up, just not as fast.
8) Tall people are expected to use their reach to help shorter people, but if a tall person were to ask a short person to hand them something they dropped on the floor, it'd be insulting.
9) People who dislike themselves aren’t ugly, their just not their own type.
10) Isn’t it weird that we are the future, the past, and the present all at once?
11) Can dogs be smarter if they understand some human words mean something consistent, but we can’t tell if certain barks mean something?
12) Taxes are like a subscription to your country that you can’t cancel, no matter how bad the service gets. And childhood is your free trial.
13) A ton of people is 12 to 15 people, or 3 Americans.
14) Scientists are adult kids stuck in the “why phase”
15) You are never done clapping until the last time in your life that you clap. Every other clap is just in longer intervals but from your first to last ever clap you are continually clapping.
16) In order to fall asleep, you need to pretend to be asleep.
17) Love is blind, lust is Helen Keller. And that’s why words are the most powerful weapon of insult. Oh wait….
18) When the older generation is saying this generation is terrible, they’re basically saying they were terrible parents. And they forget we’re limited in what we can do with the world we’re inheriting from them.
19) If a stranger insults me, I’ll probably ignore it, as their opinion is meaningless. If a stranger compliments me, I'll probably treasure it, as their opinion is important.
20) The Japanese flag could just be a pie chart of how much of Japan is Japan, but is the part that is Japan, the white? Or the red?
21) The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf, I’ve never played golf, I guess I’m winning.
22) Brushing your teeth is the only time you clean your skeleton.
23) “Where are you” is probably the least used phrase in sign language, “please keep it down” could be a runner up.
24) All marijuana is considered medical marijuana if you believe laughter is the best medicine.
25) If Opposites attract, I should be dating a Straight, Rich, Gorgeous, Cis dude with a loving family.
If opposites attract I'd be dating an average-looking cishet girl with crippling insecurity
Daylight sensors and solar panels don’t work at night despite the moon being reflected sunlight, and all the stars in the sky.
you breathe in people every day due to dust, and when you bite your lips or lose teeth are you a canibal????
How does a photo camera capture real life. Like HOW? How can it produce a 2D image of something that is air en 3D and stuff.
It really effs me up when I think about it for to long 😅
Aren't We Basically Eating Chicken When We Eat Eggs?
A stem stump on a fruit or vegetable is like it’s bellybutton
Are there more than 4 basic mathematical operations (+,-,×,÷) which we don't know about, so our perception of universe is limited?
The Vampire Panics of the 18th century western world were all developed as a ground-breaking marketing strategy to sell more garlic.
If we use coconuts instead of money and create a universal currency where 1 coconut is one unit of that currency then the rich will have coconut warehouses
What happened to Milli Vanilli? And am I spelling that right & does anyone care? Waters getting cold, sigh.
What the Hell does Solar Prestige Eh Gammon mean and what was Elton John smoking that day?!
What the Hell does Solar Prestige Eh Gammon mean and what was Elton John smoking that day?!