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If you could give "younger you" some advice, what would you tell YOU?
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#1
This life is YOURS to live, and the only one you have. Love yourself and be forgiving of your mistakes. Be able to support yourself, and do not rely on others to validate your worth. Learn how credit works, Love yourself, take care of your body, wear sunscreen, and NEVER TRY SMOKING!!!
Final score:
22points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
Well said! I struggle with the sunscreen thing because I grew up in the time when we slathered our bodies with oil and baked to get that "healthy" tan. (I'm very fair naturally and I don't tan.) My son reminds me. Guess I'd add "learn from anyone, including those younger than you" because some people think they know more just because they are older.
RELATED:
#2
If I could tell younger me something important it would be, "don't forget to have fun!" I was listening to some music that I hadn't listened to in 20 years and remembered how happy I was when I was younger, without a care for the future. Somewhere along the way it became all about working for the future, but I failed to specify when "the future" would start. I no longer work because of my terminal cancer, so I guess the future caught up with me. There's always work and when you die your inbox is likely to be full, but it doesn't matter. Enjoy the people in your life or find others. Whatever your age, make time to enjoy life. Nobody really knows how long they have, don't wait to find out your expiration date.
Final score:
19points
#3
1. Don't pine over people who aren't reciprocating those feelings. Teen me really needed a wake up call.
2. If you get a gut feeling, go with your gut feeling. 9/10 times you're right...however, don't confuse this with anxiety.
3. Don't let the pressure of expectation crush you, take it from me, it's the worst. It's very hard to shake off and I still haven't fully, but try to live without being constantly pressured by expectations.
Final score:
14points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
I still struggle to follow my gut sometimes, although I'm better than I used to be. The only expectations that matter are your own. You set goals and expectations for yourself and do your best to reach them. If you don't make it today, try again tomorrow. That's all anyone can do or expect from you. 🙂
#4
Strangers have the best sweets.
Only joking, what I would say, even if it is only a few pennies here and there, try to save some money every month, you never know what's coming around the corner.
Final score:
13points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
Wholeheartedly agree. It's far easier to save money for something than to pay back debts and interest. And the peace of mind not having debt hanging over your head is worth more than anything you buy in life.
#5
if you're the only one keeping your friendship going, don't bother. Just let go.
Final score:
13points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
That's tough sometimes. My best friend from school went to college and I stayed home and worked. We had nothing in common when she returned and we kept in touch by phone one or 2x a year. It was never the same and she died a few years later. I still feel like I should've done more.
#6
Fashion trends come and go
Good manners never go out of style.
Final score:
12points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
That sounds like something Audrey Hepburn would have said. I like it!
#7
Education Eradicates Ignorance.
Final score:
11points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
Learn whatever you can. No one can ever take knowledge away from you.
#8
People show what they are and how they will justify treating you and others when they're angry. Pay attention and don't allow others to control you through their anger and willingness to cut anyone off when they are displeased. No one is worth putting up with that.
Eternal victims are actually victimizers and you will be shown that if you stay long enough.
Try to be happy with what you have because there will always be something you want but don't have... and the more you own the more you're owned by that junk.
Try to learn to be your own best friend and ally because you will be the only one who is with you at all times to the end.
Integrity and personal responsibility has more benefits to the individual in the long run than always living in the moment trying to take advantage wherever possible. The more you use people the more likely you will end up alone. And in contrast, good people always remember who was there for them when they were in need.
Final score:
10points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
Wow. I think you covered everything I can think of. If you learn to trust yourself and learn good judgment, you can avoid a lot of problems with people who would use you. I'm a fan of saving money and not spending it on stuff for stuff's sake. I would say not to deprive yourself of something if you can afford it, but don't expect stuff to make you happy. Happiness comes from inside, how you deal with life and feeling capable in your life.
#9
When you're driving with a Big Gulp and see a sign, "last rest stop for 50 miles" STOP! If there isn't active road construction the next 50 miles will be the roughest road you have ever driven. Your bladder thanks you. 😁
Final score:
10points
#10
never ever choose a guy over my parents. i did everything for that guy and he was my first love and i was his first love too. I stole my phone even doe it got confiscated by my parents. I stole my phone back from the safe bc i picklocked it open. i ruined my parents trust bc of my heart
Final score:
10points
Chex mylicks (Submission author) 1 year ago
i was desperate to feel love of someone lol, it was ldr idk how love feels like before and was curious why people would go crazy for the sake of love. Now i understood. Bc i did some crazy s**t for him then sadly he ended everything bc he feels lonely after looking for a lot of ways to just talk to him lmaoooooo stupid me
#11
People's words mean nothing. Actions mean the world
Final score:
9points
#12
Everyone is struggling with something in their life. Maybe it’s money, relationships, addiction, job stress, health issues, or something else entirely different that’s not easy to spot. Start by giving everyone you meet the benefit of the doubt, your life and theirs will be better for it.
Final score:
9points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
When did civility become replaced by bitterness and sarcasm disguised as humor?
#13
Some of the people that are the friendliest ever are anything but. others that seem cold and di
Final score:
8points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
It looks like this was cut off, but I think the point is that not everyone who seems friendly is good, some people only act nice to get something. And there are people who don't seem friendly because they have something they are dealing with in their life or maybe they are just introverted or shy.
#14
This is to my younger self and anyone else in the same place: Tell someone about the bullies.
Final score:
8points
SkyDragonAerial (Aro/Ace, Cassgender) (Submission author) 1 year ago
When I was in grade 9, the bullying I'd faced my whole life got worse (Ie. My bully posted photos of me online without my permission) and I didn't really tell anyone at the school because I didn't think they would help. Eventually, my mom got my class switched, and my amazing English teacher pulled me aside one day and asked "why didn't you say anything to me? I could've helped." I didn't have a good reason. Thank you always, Mr. Rose!
#15
Life kinda sucks sometimes, but it gets better. Just gotta keep chuggin’ along mates.
Final score:
8points
#16
We all die eventually. Make sure that when your time comes you have no regrets. Tell the people you love how much they matter to you. Live the kind of life that you can honestly say "I lived a good life and I'm ready to go." You may wish it was longer, but if you can be at peace with the experience it will be less frightening. Is a good life based on everything going your way or owning all the things that are symbols of success? Not at all. It's about the experiences, good and bad, and the people. As long as there's sand in your hourglass, it will be a good day. How does the quote go: Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, but Today is a gift. That's why it's called the Present.
Final score:
8points
Freya the Wanderer 1 year ago
If you don't have a will, at least make an informal declaration of how you want your assets divied up. Also, ALWAYS HAVE A LIVING WILL WITH MEDICAL POWER OF ATTORNEY! Make sure your family and closest friends know your desires for when you cannot speak for yourself. Make provisions for your pets. Let people know if you have any special requests for certain items, such as your car.
#17
Not as swrious as the other ones here but
'Read the label'
My brother just put what he thought was gum in his mouth only to realize from the bitter taste it was not gum
I picked up the bottle, my bro just plopped a dietary supplement in his mouth
Final score:
7points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
And remember that not all chocolate is candy...exlax! 💩 I hope your brother is ok.
#18
Always Use Protective gear, (even in bed). You may never know what will happen next second.
Final score:
7points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
Worked with too many people missing fingers. Failsafes fail sometimes.
#19
Don't start smoking. Ever.
Final score:
7points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
Great advice. I dated a smoker who tried to quit because I was allergic. He struggled, but was successful for a long time. Eventually he changed jobs and ended up working with all smokers again. Before that, he was rewarding himself with gifts using money that would have gone to cigs. We're talking stereo systems and big ticket items, not a piece of cake or new t shirt. It's never too late to quit and the health effects go back to nearly "non-smoker" status after several years from what I understand. I'm not a medical professional.
#20
That I’m a stupid idiot and I’m never gonna make any friends. And that everyone hates me so I hide myself to everyone except people on BP. 😢
Final score:
7points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
I'm upvoting you. Not because I agree with your opinion of yourself. Let's find a way to change that, ok?
#21
You matter. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise.
Final score:
7points
#22
When cleaning the toilet, keep your mouth closed.
Final score:
7points
#23
Just keep learning languages. They are the key to the world.
Final score:
6points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
I once worked with a proofreader who knew 6 languages or something like that. Ironically I think English was the 5th or 6th one and that's what he proofed for us. He was fun!
#24
Take care of yourself especially your teeth. Say what you mean without saying it mean. Be kind.
Final score:
6points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
I remember reading something that said your teeth were meant to last a lifetime. I've always wondered if that's why primitive people died in their 40s or something like that. If there's a direct relationship between the condition of your teeth and your general health.
#25
ALWAYS PAY IN FULL and know the difference between Priority and leisure. Your RENT is Priority! A night out with your friends is Leisure. When buying a Home, 1st see a Mortgage Lender, so that you know what you'll Qualify for and get a Flat Rate for the interest rate. Buying an Auto, Nothing wrong with buying used vehicles. Just make sure to have a trusted mechanic look at the vehicle 1st before buying it. Most Reputable Sellers will understand this.
If you don't Already Have the $$$$$ in your Bank Account/Pocket, do Not buy it.
Final score:
6points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
Also if you aren't comfortable with the amount you can be approved for, don't be pressured into paying that much. Find a home in a price range that you can live with. The realtor usually gets a percentage as their commission and unethical ones don't care if you can actually afford the home. You're the one paying for it.
#26
Brush your teeth in the morning to keep your friends. Brush them at night to keep your teeth.
Final score:
6points
#27
You can learn a lot from other people's mistakes.
Final score:
6points
Freya the Wanderer 1 year ago
Always learn from other people's mistakes. Nobody is clever enough to make them all.
#28
Work will always be there no matter what. Take time off if you can end enjoy friends and family.
Final score:
6points
#29
Don't try to "save" someone who is determined to be miserable, and expects others to be their happiness. Their happiness is their responsibility, and you do not have more power over someone else's fate than they do. You will only become drained and lose yourself in the effort. Their negativity will poison you.
Before judging outwardly and trying to "fix" others or the world focus inward and how you can improve yourself. We can always improve on who we are, how we live or how we interact with others. No one is perfect but in improvement of the self we can bring ourselves closer to a sense of contentment and a life we are happy with.
Never give a gift with conditions, otherwise it is not a gift but a contract and people need to be made aware of the expectations. Once a gift is received it is theirs to do with as they please, even if it is to get rid of it. Always be aware of the possibility of a gift not being used or appreciated as you expect and try to be okay with that. If you can't, don't give as generously or to people you don't know well enough.
Don't be so loyal to friends that you will condone their bad behavior or just avoid dealing with it. Good friends hold each other accountable and will mutually appreciate being held to high standards because it helps them stay/become better people. If they refuse to become a better person and expect you to accept everything they do, the best thing to do is to rethink the friendship and find those who hold themselves to higher standards.
Family doesn't mean you have to stay loyal despite how they behave. Murders and monsters all have families. People who love and support you don't need to be blood related. A supportive loving group of friends is better than a toxic, judgmental or abusive family. You can't choose your family but you can choose who is in your life.
Just because you have lived around horrible people all your life doesn't mean the entire world is like that. Just your perceived world. There are places with genuinely kind people if you can leave your usual environment. And if it isn't possible now, it can be in the future. Nothing in life is permanent and choices can change everything.
Final score:
5points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
Family issues are the worst. When you're growing up you expect family to be there for you and help you learn about life in a safe way. Unfortunately it doesn't always work that way and it can follow you through life. I agree, pick a new family that supports you.
#30
1. If you can 'afford the repayments' you can afford to save it up, and you'll save a fortune in interest too.
2. If it sounds too good to be true, it IS too good to be true. Yes you might miss out on a one in a million offer, but you'll also not be scammed 999999 times.
3. You're not peckish, you're bored. Find something to do instead.
4. You will never magically awaken as a concert pianist/celebrated sculptor. You have to practice. Even 30 minutes a day helps. Make it routine and you'll quickly not prefer to sit binge-watching something instead.
Final score:
5points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
And if you have a talent, use it. Even if it's just a hobby. Don't let anyone tell you that it's stupid or a waste of time. I used to draw people's faces as a kid, even had a drawing displayed in a state art exhibit. My father never failed to mention what a waste of time it was and the final straw was my 7th grade art teacher. He outright refused to accept that I had drawn the pictures that I was drawing since I was 5yo. I went home that day and burned everything. Not only do I not have the pictures, but I stopped drawing and now I struggle to draw the simplest thing.
#31
Stop living your life how other people think you should live. Do YOU, those who are meant to stay will, the ones that are not worth it will not. Life is not a popularity contest, you can only make yourself happy, and by being happy you will make the people in your life that is worth it, happy.
Final score:
5points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
And don't compare yourself or your life to social media. That's like comparing your life to a Disney movie and wondering why you don't measure up.
#32
Life doesn't necessarily 'get better', bad things will always happen no matter your age. What gets better is your ability to manage them. Allow that ability to flourish, don't let the bad happenings get you down.
Final score:
5points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
Never give up, never stop trying to be your best self. Let go of the bad times and they will pass.
#33
"If you get the school work done now, you will be able to have much more fun when you are legally able to!"
I know, I know, hard to deny oneself easy gratification (especially when young), but still.
Final score:
4points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
Learning self discipline will help keep you out of trouble and dangerous situations. It's a necessary life skill.
#34
Even the mighty oak bends before the raging storm winds.
Final score:
4points
#35
Don't be afraid to cut people out of your life. This life is yours and yours only, don't give it up for someone who doesn't want it, or will treat it badly. Also, stay out of prison, no illegal activity is worth it. Instead, find resources to help you through your struggles.
Whether that resource be a close or far away family member, a legal guide, a self help book, your own journal, a willing friend, a kind stranger, FIND that resource and cling to it with a grateful attitude.
Final score:
4points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
Some decisions of youth have far reaching consequences. Better to find the help before making a life altering decision.
#36
You'll always regret the things you didn't do more than the things you did.
(Paraphrased from a Mark Twain quote, but I had a dear older friend tell me this years ago, and I'll always remember it this way.)
Spend more time with Mom and Grandma. They'll be gone faster than you realize. Stop putting things off for later because it's a hassle, you'll end up not doing something and you'll really regret it.
Final score:
4points
#37
People at work are not your friends. Remember that.
Final score:
4points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
But sometimes they become friends. One of my best friends used to be my boss. We keep in touch even though we don't work together anymore.
#38
The meaning of life is to find your own path of you own meaning of life.
Final score:
4points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
Exactly. We all have different goals and desires that bring meaning to what we do. 🙂
#39
To just kick their butt!
A few months ago me would need to this.
Also, YOU FLOOFS PEOPLE! When your flood doesn’t like your new friend, dump up. Dump ‘em and don’t look back!
Also, thanks to the people who emailed me about my depression. It made me really happy just knowing that there are people out there who care! 🥰
Final score:
4points
#40
All knowledge is information.
Not all information is knowledge.
Seek knowledge.
The rest is bumph, ignore it.
Final score:
4points
#41
One of the beauties of aging is how much your confidence grows.
Don't worry if you don't feel confident now, as you grow and experience more things, you'll learn about your own strengths and add more.
Final score:
4points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
Wish I knew that when I was younger. I guess it's the wisdom that comes with age that increases your confidence. You feel more sure of yourself.
#42
Just because you can spend money, that doesn't mean you should.
Final score:
4points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
That's what I tell my son. You have money to spend if you find something you want. If not, save it for another day. He's getting better at this.
#43
For me, it's simple. Keep your nose in front of your own face. Keep your mouth shut. Always pay attention to the lessons in humility that life and the Lord will teach you again and again until you get it.
Final score:
3points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
Some of us are slow learners. Humility has become something that old people or poor people have, not for the fashionable, young people of today.
#44
Tell your doctor everything.... EVERYTHING
Never lie to your mother....she already knows
Be careful what you tell your lawyer...
Final score:
3points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
Upvote for the doctor thing. Some of the strangest symptoms are related to each other even if you don't think it matters.
#45
Always be your best self, no matter how other people behave. We only have this brief time in the physical and every moment counts. Don't create baggage to drag with you when you leave, and try to deal with the baggage (issues, phobias, bad relationships, bad attitudes etc) you already have. Remember that EVERY person is in the same fix - a spirit having a human experience. Arohanui.
Final score:
3points
#46
Advice for a younger me? "Blood ties don't mean squat. YOU choose to keep close those who have your best interests at heart, it will benefit your future relationships--romantic and otherwise--greatly."
Final score:
3points
#47
Your life doesn't have to be planned out to a T. Anything can happen in a moment that will change everything. Go with the flow and appreciate everything you have right now. Always have aspirations and goals, but don't make it your be all or end all. Have a back plan #2, #3, #4, #5, #6.
It's okay to be an underachiever if you're happy. It's okay to be an overachiever. Is anyone just an achiever? Achievement won't be ultimate until your dead. There's always something new you want.
Always, always advocate for yourself. If this is hard for you to do a good counsellor and loved ones you trust and are there for you can help you along the way. But try to work on being your own voice. Speak up. There are people who will, and likely have, take advantage of you.
Do take accountability in the workplace. Even if it means your fired. If an employer can't handle their employees making a mistake then that's their problem, not yours. If you take accountability and willing to right the wrong, that's a valuable character trait you can take with you to the next job.
Memorabilia, keepsakes, heirlooms, estates, money, awards, valuables, random stuff you have in your home can all go up in flames, break, lost at any time. Appreciate what you have now, but don't put so much importance on the inanimate objects that it becomes part of your identity nor emotional stability.
But NEVER let that video of your 1990 dance recital out of your possession. Like, keep it in your room. Not with the rest of the movies. You won't be allowed to grab it when you have to retrieve your belongings while escorted by police because your mom isn't allowed in the house and you're not allowed to take anything outside of your room.
Go live with your Dad. At least it's a stable life and you'll know what to expect. Your mom just "needs" you as a divorce trophy. She will tell you she's through with being a parent when your 15 and repeatedly tell you to just go live with your dad.
Forget that dream of working with Disney. You won't want the job. But try harder to work with Archie Comics. There's not much bad stuff I've heard from the employees.
Final score:
3points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
Great submission! I get the feeling you're actually talking to your younger self so you don't make the same mistakes, but there's a lot of good advice for the rest of us too.
#48
Don’t let others change your belief or opinion. If someone disagrees with you, remember, there will be people who disagree, but there will also ALWAYS be people who agree ❤️
Final score:
2points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
True. We don't all have to believe the same things. It would be pretty boring if we did. I'd also add that if you listen and ask questions about someone else's beliefs, you may decide that you agree with something that you didn't know before and maybe you decide to change your beliefs. Not to fit in with what's popular, but because you learned something new or gained new perspective.
#49
if you are thinking about how bad your job is, remember that someone got a job poking nuclear bombs if they didn't go off.
Final score:
2points
#51
I used to dwell on things that I didn't do in my youth and it would take up a lot of my energy - that is, until I mentioned it to a random clerk at a local bookstore and she said that regret is a wasted emotion as you can't change the past. There's nothing wrong with learning from past mistakes; just don't dwell on them...
Final score:
2points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
So true. You become more of what you practice and concentrate on. Learn the lesson and move on so it doesn't become part of you.
#52
Be extremelly careful with mothers who have an incubator behavior. They'll do anything they can to make you feel cozy, to keep you near them. Because time passed can't be caught again. fight (don't like that word much) for your independancy. Your goal is to thrive. and this can't be achieved if you're dependant
Final score:
2points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
This is great as a child because feeling safe is important for growth. Then we begin to separate ourselves from our family to develop our independence. Being confident in our ability to take care of ourselves is vital to our self esteem and becoming an adult.
#53
Change is painful, especially when changing old habits. It takes a long time, sometimes years. But it's so worth it. So keep working at what you're trying to change.
Final score:
2points
#54
It costs nothing to be kind. A smile or a thank you may just make somebody’s day.
Final score:
2points
#55
Stop wanting to grow up. It only gets worse from here.
Final score:
0points
Tina Kathrarg 1 year ago
I think that depends on how you were raised. If you grew up in an abusive family it's important to know that you can make a better life when you move out. If that was all the better you could hope for there would be no reason to keep living. But for many people, childhood is the best time, carefree days of enjoyment that you can look back on as the good old days.
#56
Nod and say yes to people, then do whatever the f**k YOU want after.
Final score:
-4points
What do you think ?
Tina Kathrarg (Post author) 1 year ago
Thanks! I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner, I actually just saw this. I need to scroll to the bottom more often. 😉
Load More Replies... Tina Kathrarg (Post author) 1 year ago
Thanks! I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner, I actually just saw this. I need to scroll to the bottom more often. 😉
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