The best burns were made in the heat of the moment, What hilarious retorts to insults have you come up with?

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#1

Got cut off in traffic….turned into a ongoing “race”
Eventually pulled up alongside rolled down my window. Other driver rolled down his.
Me: “Sorry for acting like such a jerk I’m just in a rush. Your mom always gets mad if she has to wait” Drove away.

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Wayne
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#2

Some freshmen kids were joking about selling d*ck, and came up to my friend group. I just told the it would probs be to small to even feel it. They called me humpty dumpty but i think i won here lmao

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Has sold soul for corn chip
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#3

(Not me) I play hockey for my high school team, our coach was trying to get us to stop dropping “f-bombs”. Our captain (senior) said, “coach, I grew up in an Italian family, swearing is part of our language”. Our assistant coach said, “you Italians speak more with your hands then you do with your mouth”. But the big hitter was our head coach. He says, “(captains name), the first thing wrong with that sentence is that you started with “you grew up”.

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sirfryingpan
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