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It's so easy to get an answer to any question nowadays: just Google it! Although I am thankful for Google and can't really imagine how we managed without it before, it can be a wondrous and bizarre place of unexpected searches.
Now, imagine what your cat would search on the internet and post it here!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
lrut;weghl;wthgj;welthlsoi
znb,bv,glrezffshkgfs
mouse mousse recipes
how to catch the red dot
how to scratch hooman perfectly
how catch birb
2ieufhp;owhaois
how to keep hooman off gud fur
Final score:
54points
#2
Cute human pics
How to explore the world outside your door
Gourmet artisinal cat treats and cat grass gift baskets
Cat condos in the upper westside
Final score:
34points
#3
How to get your hooman to buy you even more food than you have and need
Final score:
30points
#6
Why the hooman is so mad I scratched her
Why are mice so yummy
Why is my litterbox dirty
Mouse
Mouse
Mouse
Mouse
Mouse
Mouse
Final score:
29points
#7
How too cleer serch histery so hooman cant post on BP
Final score:
27points
#9
How to grab the light beam
Final score:
23points
#10
How to explain to my owner that I want and don't want pets at the same time
Final score:
22points
#11
How to make objects bounce after you push them off the table
(Hint: first result will be "practice makes perfect")
Final score:
21points
#13
how to catch that damned red light
Final score:
19points
#14
Howtosteelzmonee
howtulietourhoomanthatuhavnthadtreetz
thebestplacetuleevaturd
howtumakamesssss
Final score:
18points
Amber Vandermallie-Walker 3 years ago
ahh i died laughing when i read the 3rd one and my mom yelled at me and told me to do my work :( lmfao tho bro
#15
Are you kidding? like my cat would wake up for long enough to type something.
Final score:
17points
#16
How to catch bird
How to open door
How to kill dog
amazon
how do you sell something on amazon
how do you sell dog on amazon
flea remover pills
how do you give hooman pills without dem looking
dinners with bird
how do you remove a collar
Final score:
17points
#17
Cat 1
How to steal sister's food
Fighting strategies
Why am I being called "Chonky"
Cat 2
How to stop brother from stealing food
How to make hooman luv me
Best ways to get petted
Final score:
16points
#18
howtogrowthumbs
Final score:
16points
#19
litter boxes near me
claw manicures
what does "awww floofy" mean from a hooman
how to catch fish
xqscwevgrbtryjiol
Final score:
15points
#20
pasta
pasta
pasta
pasta
yellow pasta
green pasta
pasta
can cat eat pasta
how to take over world
pasta
pasta
Final score:
15points
#22
how to get drunk on catnip
why does my human throw out my gifts
does my human know there is a demon hiding in the kitchen
how to throw up on the rug the proper way
when will humans accept cats as our overlords
Final score:
14points
#24
howtogetthethtupiddogintrouble
howtosmugglecatcrackintomycondo
howtorudelywakeupmyhoomaninthemiddleofthenight
bestplacestoleevahairball
Final score:
12points
#25
Human, I am an intellectual being
If you are going through my search history
Then i demand wet food
Final score:
12points
#26
Why is compooter so comfy?
rfehbyfgbhjcn ';jvhy7gh
Why hooman get mad at me for slapping them
Tuna price
cat food
Are cats bipolar?
Why does hooman sleep when it's 3:00?
Final score:
11points
#27
How to get high off catnip 101
Why doesn't my human let me in the bathroom
Why am I so fat? Biography of a cat named Matt
efhergiuhguvrvefhiee4ihf4iof
How to show my love for my human? Mice or dice?
www.Catdesk@wordpress.com"TheJoysofSteak."
-I don't have a cat but I love them so I made it up :)-
Final score:
11points
#28
how to politley bite my owner
Final score:
11points
#29
How to reattach your balls
Final score:
10points
#31
hhow to cathc the red dot
tasty mouse resipes
how 2 get hooman to fed me exctra food
tasty ffish
how too take over the world
tasty mice in my areea
MEOWWW HISSS AAAAAA NO NO BATH IS BAD
how to convinse hooman to not gib bath
how to trayn hooman to follow commands
YUM YUM I LOVE CATNIP YUM YUM TASTY YUM MEW MEW
how to tell if hooman is stoopid
are poops bad forr you
can you eat poops
how too tell if im a Nyan cat
aajkfsgddew fferfiewdw defjwerf f
why do hooman pspspsspspspspspspsspspsps to me
why do hooman summon the dark lord of cats with pspspss
evill red dot
red dot trayning
i lik nyan cats
how to eat budgie bird withowt hooman seeing
tassty budgie recipess
meow mew
hi, I don't own a cat (or a budgie for that matter) but was bored and decided to make this. hope you had a good laugh or two!!
Final score:
9points
#32
How to open doors
How to break windows with paws
Final score:
8points
#33
how to build up love from your humom `and then bite there T EOS
Final score:
8points
#35
catnip drug dealers in my area
stupid dog videos
how to create more hell
why doesn't hooman like glass cups on da floor
how to create black holes
why my hooman wants to do the mouse (what the cats hear when we say meow)
meow
Final score:
8points
#36
wikihow.com/howtoeathumanhair+ews-we
wikihow.com/howtomakemyhumanangry+ar+e
wikihow.com/howtogetawaywitheatingallmyfood+wsa
wikihow.com/ismylittereditable?+fed
Final score:
8points
#37
How climb shoulders
How annoy human
Why loves I human
How get best scratches
How annoy dog
Why dog no loves me
Best sleepy position
Final score:
8points
hey, not my problem 3 years ago
the logical conclusion..... dog no loves me cause me search ways to annoy dog
#38
hxjsixbjskxndjdkcnssrn
Final score:
7points
#42
How to rap bird body for gifting
why do humans talk to us in their own language
top 15 best DIY furniture makeover using only claws
Final score:
6points
#43
1how to make ur Hooman give cat rats
2catazon hooman litter box
3cat coupons
I don't have a cat but I imagine -w-
Final score:
5points
#44
How to order boxes from Amazon
How to frame the dog
Thumb exercises
Catnip dealers nearby
Philosophy books: The meaning and importance of the red dot Vol I.-III.
Final score:
5points
#45
How to catch the red dot
How to catch mouse
How to escape out of a door when hooman opens it to get groceries out of the car
Why is hooman in my poop box
Alternatives for poop box
Final score:
5points
#46
How to escape house
How to do most damage to dad's legs
How to open doors
How to find cat treats
How to open cat treats bag
How to hide evidence of eating ice cream
How to open closet door
What shoes do I sit on
How to steal dog's food
How to stop dog steal my food
What does fuzzy mean
How to poop in neighbor's yard correctly
What does 'Good job pooping in neighbor's plants' mean from human
What does hooman mean by that lady is trying to catnap me
Where to best take nap
How to eat hair without hooman noticing
How to become paper shredder
What does catnip smell like
How do i open cabinet
How do i spray catnip
uroswanvjervne
iemvqujnerr
imhighoncatnip
fjnadorbg
cuddlefloorcuddlefloorcuddlefloor
How to steal ice cream from human
How to distract human and get milk
Final score:
5points
#49
How to: Dominate the world, kill all creaturez and hoomanz, have endless yummy treatz and make professional petting robots
Final score:
4points
#50
if i had a cat:
qkfbdofof;;jhgg
boxez
mys
mys
how 2 rule ovr humns
how 2 maill dogs 2 de moon
how 2 sstop tyny humn frm touchng mii
how 2 gt owt of de pownd
our cat would not be a very good speller LOL
Final score:
4points
#51
wut privacy mean
new rug for hooman to clean my vomit
boi cats
how to talk 2 hooman
how to ask for food in hooman
catnip
catnip
catnip
catnip organic
catnip gourmet
more catnip
CATNIP
Final score:
4points
#52
how to kil hooman
y do baby chase me
y hooman yel wen i puke on floor
how 2 anoy hooman
how 2 get in hooman room
Final score:
4points
#53
Google search History:
Are cats really fluid
If i fits I sits
how to grow your own cat nip
how to lay on hoomans face without smothering them
why do hoomans like water so much
what does neuter mean?
grumpy cat
Final score:
4points
#54
why hoomans no like songs of my people
wet food stores nearby
how to annoy dog
how to get drunk on catnip
jkahnlukjantkjnsmd
Final score:
4points
#55
How to get more treats.
How to meow louder.
How to get out the door.
How to try to trick my human into giving me wet food.
Final score:
4points
#56
Catnip
catnip
catnip
catnip
catnip
catnip
Mouse
Mouse
Mouse
Mouse
Mouse
catnip
Final score:
4points
D e p r e s s e d (Submission author) 3 years ago
I swear my cat just can't get enough with the catnip! I give it to him once a week soon as he gets it he bounces off the walls
#57
how to ecsap from cta bed
install htea vent
treats
trtesa
wheer is catnip
catlip plant
vocal exercise fro cat
mweo
Final score:
4points
#58
letmeout: the biography.
amozon password
treats
how to get treats
wheredowegointhemetelmonsters
Final score:
4points
#60
fghjmfdsasdfgnm,mnnbvcxsdfghnm
how to make hooman slave
opposable thumbs,who needs them
how to suffcate hooman
sadfghjkloi876543ewdsfghjuki8765trdgfhj
yummy cat treats
Final score:
3points
#61
i dont have a cat but if i did:
how to take over the world
how to be da bigest pest to da hoomans
result:run around house,at top speed, on a trail of plastic bags, with your kittens running behind you meowing to play with your tail
Final score:
3points
#62
How to scratch my hooman while he is in school and not get yelled @?????????????
Final score:
3points
#63
sdtkyyyrdfky,m
how to trick the dog
101 ways to kill a mouse
8ubjkwk
ways to keep your hooman awake at 3 in the morning
whats the best thing to knock of the table
56edcikfvj5evbrntk
Final score:
3points
#64
-h0w 2 get hooman to make meh gurrmet meels
-h8w tooo do crookshanks from hairy purrter makeupp
-wy do my child humman call me kitty kitty meow meow
-huw to kach redd dott w/tips
-r cats betr than dogs?
-meow
-famos kittys in hisstury
Final score:
3points
#66
Cat's search history: How To Serve Dog
Me looking at screen, puzzled, then horrified...
Final score:
3points
#67
Wetfoodz sale
Toilet wahetr
wedfood
pspspsps sound ten hourz
amazon.com//temptationssalmoncattreats
how to getz outsides
cat treets fancy yumy cat treetz
Final score:
3points
#68
Why my tail floof?
How to rid of dog
How to kill dog
1000 ways to poach a dog
Why dog snoot other dogs bum
Why dog has big snoot
Dog trap
How to mail dog
How to be dog
Final score:
3points
#69
I have two cats, so the *'s will be for one, ~'s for the other.
*How to catch burd
*Why cant catch burd
*why no treats
*burrds
*TUNA
*why burd
*how burd
*where tuna
*how treats
~where to hide
~sneky
~treatssss
~where can hide
~why brother like burd
~TREatss
Final score:
3points
#70
101 ways to serve meeses
how to grow lush cat nip
The Kats Meow (kitty porn website)
best ways to annoy your hooman when they be busy
hooman behavior explained
fastest way to sharpen your claws
The Kats Meow
quickest way to piss of da doggie
kitty yoga to help get in weird sleeping positions
Meowing tips and tricks to be as loud and obnoxious as possible at 3:30 in the morning
The Kats Meow
What makes yarn so enticing, is it the color or the texture
enhance your barfing experience
The Kats Meow
Final score:
3points
#72
places that serve mouse
cute pictures of humans
why does my butt taste good
dating websites for cats
Final score:
3points
#74
Thumbs
Why won’t my human let me sit on their keyboard
Best place to satisfy the itch
Why does dry food exist
How to get rid of dog without humans knowing
Why do my humans yell at me when I eat the plants
Final score:
3points
#75
Cat-hooman pocket dictionary
1000 ways to confuse hoomans
The purrrfect murder: a cats story
Final score:
3points
#76
Why human says im a bumblebee
How to look like a bumblebee
How to be cute like a bumblebee
How many food i get for being a bumblebee
What is a bumblebee
Final score:
3points
I travel. I seek the Parmesan. 3 years ago
Hot cats in my area https://1800big.bad.dealers.com/catnip-organic/search?-query.sdk.565t.48768y5rh https://cato.com//get-the-treats-you-need.fddf/fsaf-dfaf/adf2 wheres my ballz?
#78
dfodvijoncmsakmck
fsdfokoqos[dvodvio
kill dog
sell dog
kill human
no get pets from humaan
hfgvim
weird red dot that oddly attracts me
hiw to catch dot
how to murder the dot
Final score:
3points
#80
To bite, or not to bite?
cans I really fits?
is Chester dog yummy?
what is movie "Don't f***k with cats" about? Netflix
Is there even Cats in "Don't f***k with cats"?
dumb bird videos
Best Art gallery near me
(Yes he would totally use question marks in google searches. and chester is my dog if you are wondering)
Final score:
2points
#82
zaesxrdctfvuygibonlmnjlbjmvnhfgcdrfex3crt45vyb6u7ino809p-009n87654@#$%^&*(0iouhgfdgwcrdvbnkyukghfghfrxtecyrv6utgjyhkujngfcdtnex45yrf6utgyhujminhubgyvfcd
Fish
Final score:
1point
#83
whyihavnospace
whydahumanssoweerd
qawzsxdrtfvgbhuijnkm
howtokilladoggo
Final score:
1point
#84
y do hooman kiid chase me wif stic
do hooman take pill to?
gorge mowington
y me nam is boobo ber
how to scratch hooman and get awae
qwerrtyufvdfnfvfc
asdfghjkldrvhkjf
Final score:
1point
#86
Howtostopyorhoonansdaughtarsfromannoyangu
Howtostealtunas
HowtoscratchhoomAnansintheperrrfectpLace
Hwotoannoyshooman
Hewstogethoomantonotsignorsu
Final score:
1point
#87
How to strangle a human
World domination for cats
How to catch the red dot
how do I rip open the food bag
How to hide poop
Final score:
1point
#88
Why dus hooman pet meh?
How to scere smol humn?
how kil dog?
How to perfom skrach and run?
Purina stocks
why is compooter so comfu7?
Catnip delers in floriduh
how to hid3 catnip smel frum hoomin?
Final score:
1point
#89
messed up i meant:
howetwo spek englashfor morfod
Cutemale puursians nearmeh
Mail purrsians nearsme
catfod 100%of
freecatsfood
frecantood
toyesfroktty
Final score:
1point
#90
Why do hoomans close doors
How make hooman stop petting other kittens
Final score:
1point
#92
Why are my hoomans trying to poison me with evil cat food?
How to get ride of foster fur brother?
What is the best time to wake hooman up?
Where can I buy popcorn?
Final score:
1point
#93
Best catnip to buy nearby
How to trick human so you can scratch her
Final score:
1point
#94
where to buy mice
how to kill vacuum cleaner
why don't humans lick themselves
why do humans only sleep at night
how to get attention
how to make humans keep stroking you
Final score:
1point
#96
how make hooman annoyed
jscj8667saf
catnip.fish
how find mouze
Final score:
1point
#97
egfer
how to wake hooman up at 3 am in the annoyingest way possible
jdbhksfd bvfsn vrskth42ubt 4th853r
njrbsgvkbr
how to catch red dot
vndngvjrks
the dissapaerence of the red dot story
me catch birb
hooman does not like
jdfbjkDBSJGrSJFK
hooman eats birb for dinner
hooman logic
how to walk across the keyboard like a pro
rgvbwjabgrvjuBSGUJVr;jsBGuw4u75t714gtu;vm8tp9 4w
Final score:
1point
#98
How to get the hooman to install a catflap so i can annoy her constantly
How to phase through a door
Final score:
1point
#99
Asmr can opener sounds to relax to
House fly footage to keep your reflexes sharp
How wet food is really made
Hot lady lions in the wild xxx
Final score:
1point
#100
sartkijop#]
fdiunchu9btttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
tttttttttttttt
how to catch red dot
r5jhigioreosa54
laser pointer
aantomi of hoomen
jihw29oera
bstjhhssjg
tyrtryuy5uuuuuuuuuuu
chezburjer
5yhjjk'
Final score:
1point
Bacony Cakes (Submission author) 3 years ago (edited)
crap i forgot "let me through the door" and "where hoomen eyes locate"
#101
How to annoy hoomans as much as possible, how to kill Hooman, cute human pictures, best places to nap, jnkcerifbefjivbiefhfivjihe&rheijehrighierhgigerbjkfebjrgi,
Final score:
1point
#106
You mean MY search history? I'm the hoMEOWner.
best easy tips for driving (for cats)
best weapons of destruction 2020 (opposable thumbs not needed)
how to convince your human's dog to serve you
fastest ways to take over the world
how to get treats from a high shelf
Final score:
1point
#107
oh mfelceexknlx dwcdwoh wbdouqsisjldwkdwjecvxejvxjwvxk
Efljfehfeodwkzwnlzwnl
meow
Final score:
1point
#108
how to make meow treats
how to make lazer beam
how to catch red dot
how to kill humen
how to take over the world with lazer bem
how to act like humen
how to get female kat to wike me
youtube vids for kats
how to get more fwod fwrom humen
Final score:
1point
#109
i don't have a cat so i'm gunna try
why dog like chase me?
how to get dog in truouble?
why hooman yell when find turd in bed.
why never blame dog for turds.
Final score:
1point
#110
How to get your coat to really shine
Who's the prettiest kitty
How to get your hooman to stop touching and just wook at me
How to play with a hooman
Why do hoomans think I mean when I give eye kisses?
Final score:
1point
#111
How to grow thumbs
Can humans feel pain
Why do the humans keep stealing my poop
Why are carpets nice to sit on
Catnip Dealers near me
Final score:
1point
#112
How do I geet my moom to get rid of my baes kittens
how to find food in the bush
how to get insiedddddd
Final score:
1point
#113
Train my hooman
Why sleeping on a keyboard so good
How decide I want in or out
Mausamisu recipe
Best way to kill that dog
How be more fluffy
Final score:
1point
#114
best cat weed (catnip)
Wet food
How do i makes the hooman listens?
Cat dentists
My four cats bud, jr, ruby and lily's search history
Final score:
1point
#115
Hitman 4 dog nextdr
R invisblty cloks rl
How get human to lv me alon
hw to git red dot
blk mrket 4 catnp
Final score:
1point
#116
Piswhvpwhdcpiwhdcpiwhdvpihwdpvihwpdjvhlwkdhfpakdhvpnasvpkandpvknwpdkvhapjdhvpwkhdpviharpkvh
Hooman has brought a smal fluf how do I kil it weiugqohevboquegouqgeougeougoqugfoqjgogjboejboqjefboqjbebljqbfljbbljfblqjefgljqebf
Hooman hid fud Bcjbfvojbwvojnhvjwnsslv
Dbfoejbvosjbdvosjbdvosjbdovjbsdobjbsobvsojfvbosjbdgojsbd
How kil bird ipfehpwidhfpiwehfpwkhefpkhwpfkhepwkdhf
Abcsoahbdcoajbdcojbaslfjboajbfohwbrgowjbrgowjrbflajrbf
Final score:
1point
#117
-how to shut up? -what does no mean? -how to make humans think I’m nice but then kill them? -is it ok to have favourites? -hduejwoxhenwkwiwoqoqjwjd
Final score:
1point
#119
Cat One:
Why doesn't Cat Two eat treats
Why can't I eat the treats Cat Two won't eat
Best types of cat food.
How to get free cans of Fancy Feast.
Cat Two:
adfsdtrfdfhjjd
yfdudjdfljfoheofhdio
suduagdcydu
dgudgusdgf
dyyhffjdytssjwii
Final score:
1point
#120
Meow
Meowmeow
Meowmeowmeow
Meowmeowmeowmeowmeow
Boopboopboop
Jkdkdmfjjvjfkvk
SnootSNOOT
Meepmeepmeep
Howmskaks
Howw tooo discable hooman vacumm
How too usey mathes
Howw tooooo mak ginormus messez
Final score:
1point
#121
Box
Box
Box
amazon
howtogrowthumbz
alsjhdlkfjhasdsk
temptations
howtoforcehoomantogetwetfood
kittykastle
whyinolikewater
Final score:
1point
#122
Not my cat but my friend's :P
how to get run over by car
how to whine for food then reject it
asdf4el[9
how not scare great dane
how to jumpscare kookumbur
where is the snaks hiding
Final score:
1point
#123
How to take over the world
How to get rid of a fish without getting in trouble
Where to find catnip
How to get the FBI of your tail
Final score:
1point
#125
what is blep
how to git mere box
catnip bad hadit?
why slave be pet me
hoew to geet untigle froom stbring blaw
Final score:
1point
#126
How to take overz world
Catnip drug deeler
How to capture evilz red dot
Craigslist
How to sell dog on Craigslist
How to wake hooman at 4 am
Y hooman not like birb present
Y hooman yell when i bringz live prey
How to blackmail hooman into give me treats
How to get petz
What is “Chonky”
https//Amazon.com/boiCatz
-human-: how to stop my cat from searching things on Google.
-cat-: why hooman try to password protec googel
...I wish I had a cat
Final score:
1point
#127
how to kill the red dot
how to get rid of canine neighbours
top cat apartments in los angeles
tasty mice recipes
catbumble.com/profile/lillyanne-catnip/
fanfiction.net/tom-and-jerry
how to get stupid alley cats away from your girl
how to change name from jack to loki
Final score:
1point
#128
how come I jumped off the roof and I am still here?
Final score:
1point
#129
How to scratch hooman harder
How to make my hooman gimme goode food
Why am i trapped in big kitty litter thingy
Final score:
1point
#131
This is not my cat but my friends cat.
1. Most amazing catnip ever
2. Why dont my hoomans pets me enogh
3. why does my hoomans say if i fits i sits
Final score:
1point
#132
MEEEEEEEEEW
Why is there fluffy cold stuff falling from the sky
Where did my owner go
I’m getting a bit old
What is that?
Final score:
0points
#133
how say sorry to hooman
how steal treat
how scratch everything
Final score:
0points
#134
Egyptian cat worship
Tips for sharpening nails
Best spots to bite human when done with rubs
What’s behind that closed door?
Bottle cap hockey
Best hours to sing song of my people
How to mess with dog
Final score:
0points
#135
Well, I don’t have a cat, but I can be my doggy’s
Jazzy
How to make sister want play
How to get all the treats
How to brake the side of my kennel
How to get all the good girls
How to make mommy less made when I knock over the garbage can
Tillie
How to get rid of the new dog without the humans knowing
How to be less short
How to get that one really aggravating squirrel
Can I eat this
Why doesn’t the gloogle know what the this is
How to get all the pets
Final score:
0points
What do you think ?
Robert Catte (It, It's) 3 years ago
Search number 1: stuff that comes in cardboard boxes 2: cardboard boxes near me 3: catnip 4: cardboard box 5: meeeeeeeeeow 6: how to get scritches 7: purrrrrrr 8: Food 9: how to get rid of dog 10: alfj oejilseo8023&#%SJLFEIL[] d/[]9}kks 11: get catnip 12: catch red dot
Robert Catte (It, It's) 3 years ago
Search number 1: stuff that comes in cardboard boxes 2: cardboard boxes near me 3: catnip 4: cardboard box 5: meeeeeeeeeow 6: how to get scritches 7: purrrrrrr 8: Food 9: how to get rid of dog 10: alfj oejilseo8023&#%SJLFEIL[] d/[]9}kks 11: get catnip 12: catch red dot
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