Prepare for a long, cringe-worthy post...

I met this sweet, beautiful, soft-spoken bartender at a hotel where my agency was hosting their annual Christmas ball. I noticed her at the beginning of the night but figured I have no chance with her, so I should just enjoy my evening with friends and colleagues. Right? Right. But after about 3 old-fashions, I'd lost enough caution to giver her my number I scribbled it onto a napkin, along with my name. Handed it to her, winked and went on my merry way. Went home with a friend, since I was drinking but wasn't completely drunk so continued the night back at my friend's place. Got a text from her saying hello. Y'all, I was so happy, I couldn't believe it.

Since December we've been chatting back and forth getting to know each other behind a screen through text messages. We saw each other again once, on Christmas Day, when I brought her coffee in the early morning hours. We chatted for about 15 minutes since she came in to work late and I had Christmas shenanigans waiting for me at home. She's ghosted me a few times and said it was due to her very busy schedule so not really ghosting, just not responding within 3-4 days at a time. Our conversations are consistent but very slow. I was intentional with her, expressing to her what she can expect from me because I don't like mediocre relationships. I'm not a surface level person and if she likes me the way I like her, to please let me know so that I can adjust my expectations of her as well.

She has expressed multiple times that she does indeed like me, wants to get to know me and stay connected. Shockingly, she said I am very beautiful and I am the full package for her. Great! We're on the right path! Right?! Wrong!

I've been vulnerable with her and honest with my feelings towards her the whole time. Basically, since December. It's March and if it were up to me we'd be dating by now, if not, at least on the 3rd date. We haven't gone out once.

To give insight from her side, she did express that she's an extreme introvert. So much so that she doesn't even speak on the phone with her family members. Is that pretty extreme? That's pretty extreme. So that reassured me in some way. Still takes her 3-5 days to text me back. I'd say 70% of our convos have been pretty light-hearted; flirting here and there, asking about each other's day. Then the 30% is me spilling my heart out to her, expressing my continuous interest and intentions, which she does reciprocate, in some way.

I had also sent her birthday flowers in January to her work place and she texted me that she loved it! Given, that was her first time ghosting me prior (radio silent for roughly a week) I was devastated but I love through gift giving so, sue me. Nonetheless, I was so happy that she got it, and she loved it and expressed her gratitude. Green flags.

And so of course, because I still really like her and wanted her to feel special, I decided to buy her a really nice bottle of wine for Valentines Day (she loves wine and I'm a romantic). I wanted to drop it off to her at her job location and asked if I can see her after work to do so. No other intentions mentioned on my end because I wanted to show her that I'm careful with her and didn't want to rush anything or make her feel uncomfortable. She then texted back, "No, I want to share it with you"

The shock on my face and the thumping in my heart, Pandas you would not believe! I collected myself after the mini-heart attack and replied back, "tell me when and where and I'll be there." No reply for like 4 days. No reply! Can you imagine the turmoil going on inside me, I'm a romantic! It ruined me!

And I know she's an introvert. But man, I'm getting frustrated, but I can't seem to let her go. Pandas, should I keep at it? Not give up? Be patient?

The most recent, embarrassing moment of vulnerability and desperation (yea I know I'm being desperate), I told her that she just has to give me one shot. One chance to show her who I am because she can't really know me behind a phone, through texts. To give me a shot and I promised not to waste her time cause I know it's so limited and precious to her. Embarrassing, right? But I honestly dgaf anymore. She needed to know my intentions, again. And I needed to express it, again. I also mentioned that if she ended up not liking me, just cut me off. Find out who I am and figure out if you like me, like, really like me. She said "I would never cut you off"

*Jackie Chan, frustrated meme*

I've played all my cards, Pandas. I'm stuck and I'm torn. I don't know what the next move is because honestly, the ball has been in her court this whole time.

Introvert Pandas, extrovert pandas, any advice?