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There’s a really cute, nice, funny guy in one of the monthly classes I take. I have his number and have learned from a friend that he’s currently depressed.
I have a huge crush on him but I want to help him first.
Advice on asking him out and snapping him out of his depression appreciated.
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#1
Okay, firstly you need to understand that no one can just snap out of depression. You can help someone cope with those feelings and help them at the very least make it out of the episode, but depression is something that’ll be a part of someone for their entire life. It’s just that they may have very effective coping mechanisms that it doesn’t surface to other people. I know your intentions are pure, so I’m trying to respectfully make you aware of this fact.
Second, great on you for wanting to help. But make sure you aren’t doing this for the sake of advancing a relationship with him. He is still a human with his own preferences, and is not obligated to go out with you just because you helped him. You need to be mentally prepared for the scenario that he doesn’t want a relationship with you. But if he does, that’s great, and you can move forward accordingly.
Lastly, make sure he knows your intention. He may become unreceptive to you and your help if he feels you are trying to do a favor for him with the expectation of him doing something in return, whether that be a relationship or anything else. Make sure he knows you are helping him for the sake of helping him. And who knows? Maybe he’ll be attracted to that selflessness you show.
I wish you the best of luck and hope that whatever is best in this situation manifests for you.
Final score:
6points
Lil Miss Hobbit 1 year ago
This is one of the best comments I have ever seen on BP. That was beautiful Tiramisu, thank you
shanila.pheonix_ 1 year ago
couldn't have said it better tiramisu. but op, rlly hope everything goes well for u and ur crush.
Tiramisu (Submission author) 1 year ago
Thanks, it feels good to know that someone out there might benefit from what I have the power of saying and posting
Load More Replies... #2
I can't say it better than Tiramisu did.
Understand that depression cannot be snapped out of. If anything, the best way to help is to listen, to support, and to offer to walk alongside him even if it gets really hard.
I say if you want to ask him out...just go for it. Make it casual to start with, like "Hey do you want to go get ice-cream sometime and look at the new park downtown?" and see where it goes.
Be understanding if he is not interested or if needs space, or if he would rather work on his mental health first.
Let him know that you are interested in him, not in his circumstances or an easy relationship.
Best of luck!
Final score:
2points
What do you think ?
Nancy Rapach 1 year ago
Ask him to coffee, a visit to the farmers market. He would probably use a day of freedom from thought. Keep it friendly.
Nancy Rapach 1 year ago
Ask him to coffee, a visit to the farmers market. He would probably use a day of freedom from thought. Keep it friendly.
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