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As a lone parent, I engage online as it’s sometimes the only engagement I get socially. This was especially prevalent during lockdowns in previous years. Often it’s for a distraction like Bored Panda to find something that makes me smile. Other times to hear and share experiences, gain insight, and maybe even learn something.
I know the internet can hold negativity, which I have experienced, and think it would be nice for people to be aware of the impact some of their offhand comments could have or have had. I love the posts on positive experiences, it’d be interesting to see if anything good came out of these too.
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#1
Expressing an unpopular opinion on Bored Panda and being downvoted. Seems unfair when opposing points of views offend me but I don't downvote them. I believe in freedom of speech; some people here not so much.
Final score:
34points
Yay Pandas! 2 years ago
I've started upvoting downvoted replies as they are simply opinions. I do downvote people who are deliberately malicious and resort to name-calling.
#2
Well, not really a negative comment from someone else( though I've had those) but thanks to autism and the related social anxiety, I regularly just inadvertently sabotage any chance at making a connection with anyone. It's like no matter how hard I try to focus, the crazy seeps through..... I'll look at a reply I've made or something I've posted and will just sink into a massive pit of self loathing for weeks.... It's like nothing any one else could say to me could be worse than what I say to myself.... ( and now I'm anxious about posting something about being anxious!!! LOL)
Final score:
31points
lauralett50 2 years ago
Don't be hard on yourself. You're a work in progress. Take every mistake ,yes we all do this, as a leaning time. You are a good person ,be good to yourself. Sending you hugs 🫂🫂
#3
Being ridiculed for sharing my personal belief towards dating (called worse than a pig, that I deserve to be alone etc). That belief: saving my virginity for marriage, and in doing so can only date someone doing the same.
Final score:
25points
#4
On the AITA reddit thread a guy asked if he was being controlling by saying his GF wasn't allowed to hang out with his friends without him. I said he was (controlling), and the guy lost it, loudly. He went on a rant calling me a neckbeard and a loser and how I knew nothing about women and yadda yadda. Thing is, I'm actually a woman and my username is clearly female. But he reacted the same way to everyone else who said he was controlling. The whole interaction just left me feeling attacked and kind of scared. Blocked the guy, which helped some.
Final score:
18points
lauralett50 2 years ago
Because he's a control freak and doesn't want to admit it to himself. Not your problem.
#5
Someone was asking for name suggestions for a pair of rats and I recommended Fish and Chips and got called the R slur (not by the person with the rats, but someone else)
Final score:
16points
Ephemeral Mochi (Submission author) 2 years ago
It didn't really affect me but I found it absolutely hilarious that someone would go into an online community dedicated to rats and then complain about people who like rats
#6
One directed at me managed to trigger my PTSD beautifully, so I was a shaky half-dissociated mess the rest of that day. Does that count?
Final score:
14points
#7
This isn’t quite a ‘negative comment’, but the fact that we can’t say the words ‘k**l’, ‘sui**de’, or even ‘d*e’ is ridiculous. If you are a person who spirals into anxiety after seeing one of those words: don’t go on social media. End of story.
Final score:
14points
Playlist Girl 2 years ago
Is it just me who finds the asterixis as a puzzle and I get drawn to the words more then any other to figure out what they say? Sort of messes up the point of them I think. (I mostly agree with the post)
#8
One time somebody said that my younger (new) friend looked hot. KEEP IN MIND THAT SHE IS 12!
that is just weird, please don’t do that stuff, it’s disgusting and made me feel unpleasant for a while, and so did my friend :(
Final score:
12points
#9
I stumbled across my brothers reddit page which he used the same username he used for everything including linkedin. It was some of the most devastating and hateful stuff I have ever seen in my life. It was not only directed towards me, but my family and my very small children, my career, my lifestyle everything and it was personal. I found he twisted conversations we had were I thought we were joking (not even about each other just funny ideas about random topics) and called me dangerously delusional... He routinely complained about various scenarios where he wasn't the center of attention and fawned over (upset our parents gave their only grandkids presents for Christmas/Birthdays, demanding to take over family tvs at get togethers to play video games etc) One of the posts was requesting advice on how to get me legally committed. I knew he struggled with his mental health, addiction, self esteem and that our family always thought he was an "A*****e" and a pathological liar. The thing is I never thought he viewed me so negatively and of all the stuff I've been threw in my life his hate filled words destroyed me. When I brought it up to discuss it he accused me of killing our father who died of health complications hundreds of miles from where I lived because our fathers last words about me was that he was so ashamed of me and wishing that I never should have been born then he ghosted me. I told him if he ever wants to discuss what he wrote he needs to be sober and we need to do it in a family therapy setting. That was 2 years ago. Now he currently 30 years old living in our mother's basement (whom I've had to drastically restrict contact with) oh and he was recently caught falsifying a last will and testament for a recently deceased family member.
I try really hard to remember that he is sick and that the social media posts/ comments are just words.
Final score:
11points
R.A. Haley 2 years ago
Wow. My most sincere sympathies, because I have a daughter like that. Just like that.
#10
I was defending my religion(Islam) on Reddit when a lot of people started insulting me and saying hurtful things. :(
Why can’t people just be nice.
Final score:
11points
#11
I once commented on how swearing at the telephone robot can sometimes get you to a human operator. Someone misunderstood me and chewed on me for advocating swearing at the human operator. It hurt, but I re-read my comment and it wasn't clear. So I apologized and clarified my point. Very Canadian of me, I know, but isn't that how these things are supposed to work?
Final score:
10points
#12
Someone important to me once sent me a video that dropped a comment I found offensive, and my brain spent days wondering if the person who sent it thinks the same.
Final score:
9points
#13
I posted once trying to find information on a dog owner whose dog bit my two year old daughter.
I expected some sort of sympathy or concern for my daughter but instead the comments all focus on me calling the dog owner an a-hole for having an aggressive dog in public without a muzzle.
I no longer comment on a-hole dog owners.
Final score:
9points
shiny shinx 2 years ago
they must learn: floofs are innocent, floof owners are not necessarily so
#14
Not a comment to me actually. But this nasty woman kept posting c**p about a person who was not even a member of the community. Mean girl tore a girl to shreds. Girl didn’t even know, let alone have the ability to defend herself. I called mean girl out for the piece of s**t she is, and gotten kicked out. I had been part of this community for at least 15 years. Met many of the friends there in person. You know, I still feel sour about it occasionally, but mostly don’t think about it. I will always stand up to bullies.
Final score:
9points
#15
Someone said get over myself and just eat.
…not how you treat a f*****g eating disorder
Final score:
7points
#16
Sometimes I wake up to random users telling me that:
I cook up stories.
Fake maturity.
Am slurty bitchy in real life.
Cause to waste away my reader's time.
Ask questions to answer them myself.
Am here just cause I'm a girl with a DP.
Always play the gender card.
Am shameless cause I talk about menstruation and pads.
There are more, but let's just stop here.
Normally I just choose to laugh it off, thinking these are by people who didn't have anything better to do rather than harass a random stranger online.
On the other days it affects me.
You ask why?
Cause I'm a human.
A human who has emotions and doubts herself.
But then I think about those I've talked to here who love me for what I'm and what I write.
And remind myself that for every hater I've got, I also have a far bigger number of admirers.
And this sets me rolling! ❤
So folks!
Whenever someone hates you, both online as well as in person, understand that 9 out of 10 times,
IT'S NOT YOU. IT'S THEM.
Something must be troubling them.
They must be having a shitty day.
Their boss might've yelled at them.
They might've had an altercation with their family members or spouse.
So just chill out and don't blame yourself and overthink.
Breath and smile and get back to what you were doing. 🥰🤭💓
Final score:
7points
#17
Not so much a negative comment as being downvoted for very little reason until I was banned from commenting on Bored Panda! I never dissed anyone or tried to sell anything - but there it is. No reprieve.
Final score:
6points
the shrimp whisperer 2 years ago
same. remember guys, downvotes get people automatically banned. so if you dont like my comment (unless it's offensive) just ignore it . okay all you little pandashrimp
#18
Every single comment rudely against hijab really annoys me. I’m not indoctrinated, forced, or oppressed. I know exactly what I’m doing and why. I’m not a damsel in distress, chained by religion, who needs to be freed.
Final score:
6points
#19
I don't remember any particular negative comments towards me, but I had enough that I started changing that common saying. 'Sticks and stones will break my bones and words will always hurt me.'
Final score:
5points
Peregrine the Autistic Wolf 2 years ago
My version is: sticks and stones can break you bones, but words can break your heart
#20
I was called a pedo here on BP ! ME ... a 55 yo woman ffs. All I wanted was to try and help this person (became homeless) but knowing she had kids I couldn't take them in bc those kids needed to go to the same school for some stability in their lives and being near friends. Sheesh
Final score:
5points
Tamra 2 years ago
What?!? That's terrible! Honestly, throwing around the word pedo has become fashionable lately, and I find it repulsive. People use it as a knee-jerk insult like "woke" or "snowflake" without even knowing what they're saying half the time. Don't give it another thought Caro. The regulars around here know you and love you.
#21
No so much a comment. Saw a video of a mouse trap that would fling the mouse into a wall of nail spikes. (Couldn't make it to the end of the video) I f*****g LOVE mice and rats so I just HAD to say something to the effect of horrible people spending their free time enjoying watching the pain of another little living thing. But I couldn't. I got so mad I gave myself heart palpitations and thought I was going to have a heart attack. I left the page and went back later when I was calmer.....heart started flip flopping again. I couldn't handle how pissed off I was! I bend and bust every mouse trap I find. ANYWHERE. And before anyone bothers...the plague wasn't just caused by the rats...it was the FLEAS on the rats...Yaknow...fleas like that are on our dogs and cats who we would never tolerate people flinging into nails. But a mouse? No one f*****g cares. I f*****g CARE!
Final score:
5points
Temporary Dork 2 years ago
I love mice but I draw the line at eating my internet cables. I don't discriminate, I'm the same with people.
#22
I've chatted for years on several different programs, and as a woman who doesn't hide my intelligence and who has opinions... well, quite a lot of the internet just isn't down for a woman acting like (gasp!) a human who believes she matters. Anytime anyone starts trying to tell me about me, and phrases it negatively, I know I'm on the right track. They're triggered, I'm strong and it shows. Die mad.
Final score:
4points
#23
I was told that only because I had studied the subject I was not any better at it and should shut up. The lady was a conspi freak.
It was molecular biology and genetics vs. sociology (no offense meant).
Final score:
4points
#24
I recently had my 14th birthday party, and the night before I had a mental breakdown and couldn't stop crying. There's a site called twocansandstring that I like, and since no one was home, I just asked if anyone had a comforting word or two. I got several positive replies, and then saw one that said, "Good luck with that". My temper flared up, and I said, "I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or genuinely trying to help. If it's the latter, study up a little, if it's the former, screw you." Again, I realize I was letting anger take the wheel, and I regret it. But then they responded with "I wasn't being sarcastic and I don't owe you anything. Suffer in life, you rude little brat." They blocked me, so I tried posting an apology in the hopes they would see it ("Great that went well, I just had a person .... Now I feel even worse), but whoever it was only responded "You don't get to play the 'wah, wah, my life is hard card.' 'Study up a little more' on how to be a decent human being'." I think they took my "I feel even worse now" as saying that the person had made me feel even worse, and while yes, they did, I was trying to convey guilt there at letting my emotions rule me in that moment ...
*sigh*.
Sorry, that was long.
Final score:
4points
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
That person is an a-hole. No matter the situation, your feelings are 100% valid. I hope you are a bit better now from that night
#25
It wasn’t negative, it was supposed to be positive. On a BP post here it showed a TikTok with a dad defending his son who got his nails painted (SLAY! Btw it was red & white) and at the end of the video he said… “It’s the people that talk the most that are mean, and loudest” And I felt weird. I’m a chatty person but all around nice, and I try really hard to get people to like me because of the dumb & mean blonde stereotypes. I didn’t comment. I don’t hate them. I just feel like some people should think before they post. They are breaking stereotypes in that video… And teaching their son worse stereotypes. No offense, internet surfers.
Oh, I can put the link in the comments to the BP post! Check there if you want to read it!
Final score:
3points
Pterodactyl in Disguise 2 years ago
I am super loud and chatty when around friends, (not with people I don’t know well) and I also find this kind of a stereotypical thing to say
#26
It was long time ago, last century, on a newsgroup. I was absolutely reamed. Feeling offended, I left in a huff, leaving some empty threats behind. Next time someone tried that with me, they were the ones leaving in a huff. Lesson for me? Grow a thicker skin, reply in kind. Or ignore.
Final score:
3points
#27
Considering that there is no point in acknowledging a negative comment from an utter stranger, I have never been negatively affected at all.
Usually, I just ignore them or just go ahead and block them.
Although, sometimes, I will gleefully torment them in return to the point that they regret ever negatively interacting with me in the first place.
Final score:
3points
#28
One gave me such bad body image that I wore nothing but sweatpants and an oversized hoodie for over a year. Then I got more s**t because apparently skinny shaming doesn’t exist and it’s A ok to tell a depressed teen that they look like a disgusting skeleton and men like women with meat on their bones and that I’m being a snowflake and insensitive to those suffering from fat shaming. So yeah, that was fun.
Final score:
3points
G҉A҉C҉H҉A҉ A҉L҉E҉X҉ 2 years ago
that was very sad to read, I have empathy for you. Please get better, pretty stranger ♥️:(
#29
Had my intelligence questioned and insulted in a Twitter discussion. Despite being in one of the best grad programs for my degree in Canada on a full scholarship, I was shaken. Those words have haunted me for years.
Final score:
3points
Audrey Vanhorn 2 years ago
Hey! I know how it feels, no matter what anyone says, you are smart, beautiful, and nice. <3
#30
Got attacked online on a popular "rate your employer" website after I fired someone. Man I gave this guy chance after chance, gave him stime to sort his private struggles and everything, I really believed in him and put energy, time and heart in it. At the end the only possibility left was to set him free. This website is usually anonymous and it's not allowed to say names or describe people in a way they can be recognized. His post was online for about a week, before our lawyer could move them to delete it. I was so disappointed and ashamed and started to question my working-self in a destructive way. My boss had to help rebuilding my confidence. I still dont know how this shitty post could hurt me so much. But at the end it had a possitive effect, I dont care that much anymore about what people write online.
Final score:
3points
#31
I've been called overweight, fat, ugly, etc., while I was recovering from anorexia. Some have said I'm an attention seeker, because men don't have eating disorders. I've had worse things said to me, including some telling me to end my life because I'm so f*****g ugly, and no one would want to date, let alone be friends with me. I have a horrible body figure, I'm too tall, I'm too underweight, too fat, my f*****g eye color is too dull, my skin isn't perfect.
I know I'm not attractive, but people go to far. Thanks for making my depression and self-confidence worse.
Final score:
3points
harpling 2 years ago
From what I can gather based on your Bored Panda posts and comments, you seem to be an intelligent, eloquent, considerate, patient, generous person. Having never met you in real life, I can't say anything about your appearance except that no one is as unattractive as they feel when they're 17-20 years old. However, I will add this: My partner is extremely tall and was dangerously thin when we first met (medication side effects). We will be celebrating 12 years of marriage in a few weeks. Body type and appearance don't matter to the right person.
#32
I was playing an MMO and was a pretty new player. Late one night another new player asked a question about a quest in the starter zone we were in. No one answered them. Several minutes went by and so finally I answered saying something like, "I don't know if that's a bug, or if i just keep missing it, but I've never found it either." And then someone decided to answer, to tell me that it wasn't a bug and I was an "f***ing moron" and there was a secret lever in a nearby room. I have an anxiety disorder and social anxiety so I never spoke in public channels on that game again.
Final score:
2points
#33
I remember being told on this site that I was a right wing bigot because I said in clear terms that I did not want to be on the polarized political parties I would prefer to stay in the center and look both ways and try to understand both arguments(abortion topic in which I stated that yes women should have a bodily autonomy but like everything else in the world it should be regulated)
Final score:
2points
#34
One time I was on a website, (i don't remember which one) and I didn't understand the post, and some random a** person said to my comment "you only don't understand because you are a fugly idiot." I was upset for the rest of the week.
Final score:
2points
harpling 2 years ago
There's a big difference between not understanding because the phrasing/ context/ background/ whatever was weird and not understanding because you cannot grasp the concept that other people have different experiences or points of view. Unfortunately, people in the latter category often take offense at people in the former category.
#35
On FB I made a post about how many times my son “poked” me. It’s a silly thing, to be sure. Some agreed, a few asked what it meant and how can they do it, many agreed it was silly, but said it was my thing, and to have fun. Then a childhood friend made the comment “that’s stupid. What a waste of time. Don’t you have better things to do?”
Wow. I taken aback by her comment, plus very surprised. I didn’t respond, cuz it really hurt my feelings, and I didn’t know what to say. But I didn’t have to. A lot of people came to my defense. So now - because I still think of that comment - I put a type of disclaimer certain posts “if you don’t like what I’m saying, then keep scrolling, and move along. Negative comments will be deleted.” I know I shouldn’t let it get to me, but it still does.
Final score:
2points
#36
I’m not going to name any names so I’m giving fake names for the people involved. Panda X had a lot of problems going on at home and their parent was abusive. They made a post asking if they were TA and I said they were NTA. In the comments we had a discussion and they revealed a lot more about the abuse and everything. I felt very scared for them and had a constant feeling of dread for 2 weeks and they kind of got mad with me (I didn’t know how to handle it). The comments weren’t negative, Panda X wasn’t being rude, I just had a very hard time processing everything as it was so overwhelming for me so I got even more anxious. Haven’t heard from them since June. I hope they’re doing well now
Final score:
2points
#38
Two things that been said on BP upset me.
First one, probably doesn't seem like much to others, but every time someone comments that cousins marrying is incest it hurts. My parents are first cousins, and it is legal for cousins to marry here, so I don't see anything wrong with it. People say that it means all their children will be deformed etc, which can happen if multiple sets of cousins in the direct family line have children, but rarely does for one offs. It makes me feel like everyone thinks I shouldn't exist and I often feel numb and can't respond.
The second thing that has led to me feeling angry and ashamed is when I mention anything about religion. I am not a bigot and I never push my religion onto others, I simply like to say what my experience is with it, when the conversation comes up. These generally lead to me getting down votes or nasty comments, even though what I say is never offensive. I know the negative comments say more about the commenter than me, but it hurts that I can't have a casual discussion about religion without it becoming an argument. Often the replies I get stay with me for days and pop into my head when I'm trying to sleep, which makes my insomnia and anxiety much worse.
Final score:
1point
What do you think ?
Headless Roach 2 years ago
I opened this thread knowing it was not going to be an easy read. But having seen all stories and reading through all comments it all comes down to a terribly sad picture of people hurting others for absolutely no reason. I have not just invented the wheel, mind you. It is just a self reflection and a reminder for me to stay respectful in all the stupid c**p I say in this forum.
Headless Roach 2 years ago
I opened this thread knowing it was not going to be an easy read. But having seen all stories and reading through all comments it all comes down to a terribly sad picture of people hurting others for absolutely no reason. I have not just invented the wheel, mind you. It is just a self reflection and a reminder for me to stay respectful in all the stupid c**p I say in this forum.
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