Bear with me here, I promise this is not hate.

Does it matter? I mean, if your pronouns are fine day to day,, then stay with it? If not then change? Do not overthink it.

The people who love you and care for you will accept you as you are, whichever pronouns you think best suit you.

Go with the flow.

Also there is the heads/tails test. Toss a coin, heads for he/him, tails for they/them. Either you will be pleased with the result, or you will be disappointed, either way you will find your preferred pronouns.

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8points

Nathaniel (He/Him) Cis Het.

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🇷🇺🇺🇦ЛеснойКороль(they/he)

🇷🇺🇺🇦ЛеснойКороль(they/he)

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1 year ago

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thanks, nathaniel, i really needed this. i was worried that this post would be overrun with trolls..

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i need help with this too 🫠

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5points

twilight (he/they/it)

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🇷🇺🇺🇦ЛеснойКороль(they/he)

🇷🇺🇺🇦ЛеснойКороль(they/he)

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1 year ago

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🫠

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Just go with it. It's okay to be questioning and it's okay to be confused. I'm trans and I was pretty sure of my gender for almost a year before something changed and I added a couple of pronouns. You should try he/they to see how it works if you're comfortable with it. Good luck

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4points

cartoon ghosts

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Take as much time as you need to try and figure it out. Labels are useful for defining your experience and connecting with others, but are absolutely not a requirement in any way.

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2points

mysterious(he/they, maybe?)

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Not sure I'll be much help, but here goes.

I felt very similarly to you recently, although until then I was using she/her (the pronouns assigned to me by society based on the body parts I was born with). I had only very recently figured out my sexuality, and I was seeing a lot of people (both on bored panda and irl) using combinations of pronouns, such as they/he or she/they. This made me very curious about my own gender identity, which (of course) lead to a chaotic spiral of questioning, confusion, and self doubt. I also took a ton of online "find your REAL gender" quizzes, none of which were helpful to me in any way.

The realization I eventually came to is that I don't need a label. As long as I'm comfortable with who I am, I don't need to explain myself to the rest of the world. That was when I added she/they pronouns to my username.

That being said, my experience may be very different than yours. It really depends on how you feel, and whether you're feeling more like you may be nonbinary, or if you feel like you're something in between, like me.

One thing I would suggest is to try out different pronouns. Maybe not irl, but bored panda definitely helped me. Maybe try changing your pronouns in your username and see if you like how something else feels. There was a time a few days after I started using she/they that someone purposefully used both she and they in a comment when referring to me, and it just made me feel so good. There was also another time when someone commented "you go girl/other!" and that was the first time i really understood that I could be a girl and also be something else.

Anyway, I'm sorry that was so long. I have no idea if this will help you or not, but please feel free to ask me anything if you'd like. I'm always here if you ever need anything

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1point

fair_weather_rose (she/they)

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