Hey Pandas, How Do I Handle The Fact That My Oldest Granddaughter Refuses To Have Anything To Do With Me?

2 years ago she stopped speaking to me and wouldn't tell me why...I took her out to lunch and she never told me what I had done....I still don't know..my son and daughter-in-law know but refuse to get involved...in the meantime, her grandfather has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and she hasn't made an effort to come and see him or call him...I am at my wit's end...what else do I do? We were very close prior to this...

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I'm sorry this has happened to you. Have you tried writing her a letter telling her how her silence makes you feel and that you love and care about her. Remind her that you would not intentionally upset her and if she tells you what she feels you have done you will be able to understand why she is so upset. Ultimately I would also tell her that if she chooses not to reply to your letter you will respect her wishes and not make contact with her again.

Unfortunately you cannot force her to tell you what is wrong but ultimately as she gets older she is going to learn that everyone makes unintentional mistakes and that second chances and sometimes 3rd and 4th chances are something we humans can do open heartedly especially if we can see that the mistake was not intentional in the first place.

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