Hey Pandas, How Do I Come Out To My Homophobic Grandparents? (Closed)

I'm bi and nervous to come out. I am eleven and have only come out to a few friends and my boyfriend. Help, please.

I'd just say don't put yourself through it. If you're close with them, unless you have a same-sex SO, just let them die in peace. I'm a firestarter, which is why I usually come out to homophobes, but if I was you, I wouldn't kick the beehive. I'm sure they're old, just lay low when they're around. I always tone it down around my grandparents. I don't mind, because it keeps them happy and I love them. Now, they're not homophobic, they're just dry, they prefer a little less flash, and I'm flashy as hell.

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Rage of Aquarius

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𝕁𝕖𝕟𝕟𝕪𝔹𝕖𝕖 3 years ago

Oh thanks but they are in their fifties. Also I'm not even sure what I am. I just say I'm bi

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Tell them and ask them to consider. You need to stand up to them and tell them how you feel. I know it will be hard but you need to have it out in the open. It will take some time to sink in but they will have to deal with it. Don't change who you are because someone doesn't like it.

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Space Whale

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𝕁𝕖𝕟𝕟𝕪𝔹𝕖𝕖 3 years ago (edited)

I don't wanna change I just dunno if I should tell em

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Don’t. If they don’t support you it’s not worth the f***s to tell them

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mariahcareysleftnip(they/them)

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𝕁𝕖𝕟𝕟𝕪𝔹𝕖𝕖 3 years ago

Thanks for the advice

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If you feel strong and supported enough elsewhere in your life, and if this is something you feel you need to do, you could give your grandparents the opportunity to surprise you. A lot of people that are ‘come out to’ already hold homophobic views, often through a lack of understanding and never being challenged. Nothing helps a homophobe evolve better than realising someone they love is LGBTQ+ and that it’s really not a big deal after all. I’m fortunate enough to say my own grandparents are good examples of this. But as the first poster said, do tread lightly. Personally I’d always prefer an external struggle to an internal one, but you may feel differently.

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F-Dup

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F-Dup (Submission author) 3 years ago

I realise now you asked how to do it, not whether to. With my own grandparents, I simply said I had something to tell them and came out with it. I suspect my nan thought I was about to say I was dying - she looked that apprehensive! Maybe in comparison, having a gay grandson was a relief, I don’t know. They all took a short while to process the news but they soon realised nothing was actually different.

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Do your guardian/s know, if they do, you can asked them to help you come out. Sitting with your grandparents in the living room, serious atmosphere, talk a bit, then hold your guardian/s hand and tell them. Surely they should understand. They are your family and family love one another. Or you could wait a little longer and tell them at your own time.

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A.J Milne

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𝕁𝕖𝕟𝕟𝕪𝔹𝕖𝕖 3 years ago

My guardians are my grandparents. My parents died.

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It depends on how homophobic they are and what you are coming out for. If it’s gay, lesbian, bi, something like that, here’s my advice (as a gay with homophobic grandparents). Just casually mention it in a convo like it’s normal. My gramma replied ‘but do you like any cute girls?’ When I came out, I just replied with no, not really.

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