Hey Pandas, How Did You React When Someone Came Out To You? (Closed)

I would like you to share your experiences with us.

Most recent was my (M40) cousin (M19).
Him: I need to tell you something, and I need you to listen, I'm just going to say it, OK?
Me: Right
Him: I'm gay.
Me: Okay???
Him:
Me:
Him: Is that it?
Me: Pretty much, yeah. Now, Grab that [Hay] bale and bring it down to the stable.
Him: OK.
Me: Wait! Is that you boyfriend in you car?
Him: Yeah, you want to meet him?
ME: F**k yeah! We'll move this hay in no time with 3 of us!

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Final score:

22points

Donkey boi

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A gay cat man (he/him&Tré/Trè) 1 year ago

IT'S GAY HAY TIME MO FO'S

2points

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I said "Thats cool."

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Final score:

13points

Ruby White

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Toothpaste guy 1 year ago

W response

1point

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My daughter. I said I know, but I have always told you there is nothing you can do that will make me not love you. I loved you from the moment I knew I was pregnant. I will always love you. I will still be proud of you and I will always be there when times are hard. I’m your mom. Nothing has changed. I’m grateful you have the courage to tell me and live your life the way you choose. She is married to a wonderful woman I love and respect and they are totally happy.

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Final score:

10points

Apocalypse Meow

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Itz-Nova (Ve / Ver) 1 year ago

This is so sweet <3

5points

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never had someone come out to me:(

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Final score:

9points

𝓪𝓶𝔂

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Marinasongs1432 1 year ago

Here, I'll come out to you; op, I'm abrosexual

7points

Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 1 year ago

I'll come out too: I'm aromantic, asexual and gender questioning but maybe pangender :)

2points

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LovelyLittleLesbian 1 year ago

I’m lesbian and in need of supportive people like the ones on this post. My school is really homophobic and I’ve been bullied relentlessly for over 3 years. To everyone who has shown support for the community and/or is a part of it- thank you and I love you ❤️

4points

A gay cat man (he/him&Tré/Trè) 1 year ago

'ere ya go: i'm gayer than tre cool on a tricycle

3points

Itz-Nova (Ve / Ver) 1 year ago

Here: I'm Omniromantic, and possibly Asexual, not sure about it yet though, and you're the first that I've told :)

3points

Devil'sAdvocate 1 year ago

i'll come out to you! i'm bi. it'll be bp's little secret...

2points

Realistic_Lemons (any) 1 year ago

I’ll come out to you even though you already know this, Im gayyyyy and also gender but we don’t know that one yet

1point

bluegal (they/them) 1 year ago

I'm Non-binary and like women :)

1point

Gay child 1 year ago

Ooh ooh I learnt that lesbian and gay don’t mean men like men or women like women, it just means non man like non man and non women like non women. So because I gained brain cells I can inform you that that means you are technically a lesbian. You probably already knew that but I’m fascinated by it and need to tell somone. Thank you for reading. :)

1point

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🥦Izuku🥦Midoriya🥦 1 year ago

My parents are homophobic. So I will come out to you instead. I’m either abrosexual or I’m pansexual! And I’m gender-fluid!

0points

Baichen Luo 1 year ago

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Reggie 1 year ago

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i said oh, nice. whats her name?
my daughter told me she has a girl friend.

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Final score:

9points

Kathy Dragonfly

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Itz-Nova (Ve / Ver) 1 year ago

5points

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My son told me he was gay, and I hugged him. And I told him, without pause, that I love him, and he can love man, woman or both, or nothing at all, and he will still be My BEAUTIFUL SON.

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Final score:

9points

Cynthia Kelly

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Violet Bunny 1 year ago

You're a good, supportive parent.

2points

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One of my HS best friends came out as Bi to me. He’s dating a girl and they’re both very happy.
When he came out it wasn’t anything spectacular or a big event. We were playing video games together and in conversation he said “I reckon I’m Bi, does that change anything for you?”
I said “hey! That’s awesome. And nah it doesn’t change a damn thing, I still love you bro.”
(We’re both 18)

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Final score:

8points

Josh Dorsett

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Huddo's sister 1 year ago

My friend came out as bi in a similar way to me at school. I already had a hunch. I think I said 'okay' and also mentioned I had started dating someone and then the conversation moved on.

2points

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"I'm nb"
"Finally, now my friend group is officially the queers, queens, and everything in-betweens"

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Final score:

8points

Gambit22

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Rosey 1 year ago

"Finally i have the whole collection"

5points

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"Ok."

I think he knew that I didn't care one way or the other, and that I already knew. Friends are friends, that's all there is to it.

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Final score:

7points

Superb Owl

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LovelyLittleLesbian 1 year ago

❤️

2points

#10

my brother (5 years older) came out to me (16). Told him it wasn't a secret. Still miss him.

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Final score:

7points

Susan Atkinson

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Cesium 1 year ago

I'm more curious to know what happened to the brother...

6points

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#11

I was shocked, but I hugged them and told them that I will always support them no matter what(my bisexual best friend, 8th grade, first person to come out to me). Some popular girls kept trying to get them to tell about it, and I defended them with my heart.

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Final score:

7points

Marinasongs1432

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LovelyLittleLesbian 1 year ago

“Defended them with my heart” I don’t know if I can tell you how sweet and lovely this is. It’s also quite poetic ❤️

3points

#12

My ex came out to me whilst we were seeing each other. We'd gone out for 2.5 years as teenagers and then hooked up again as adults, nothing serious but because of our previous background it was comfortable. Anyhoooo, one day she rings me up and is bawling her eyes out and apologising profusely and I have no idea what she's apologising for. Eventually she calms down and says "I think I'm gay", I think I just said "okay" which set her off apologising again. Calmed her down again and said "it's fine, just be happy that's all I want for you, I'd rather you say this now than 2 years down the line". Anyhow, she started dating, was best woman at my wedding and then just started dodging my calls because of the lifestyle change (her and her girlfriend were always busy, off out doing things and eventually I just gave up being brushed off).

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Final score:

6points

Tim Nicebutdim

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Deta Rossiter 1 year ago

the last part hurts the most

1point

#13

friend i had a crush on said that she has a crush on me.i was happy.next day ironicly a priest came and did a seminar about how sinful is lgbtq.my friend sided with priest.ignored her for 2 months then became friends.respect her opinion but i dont agree.we are fine now

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Final score:

5points

Meth Seneviratne

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Huddo's sister 1 year ago

The catholic schools I work in seem to have decided because they can't really outwardly say anything against lgbtq anymore (there have been cases of students suing for discrimination and (thankfully) the legislation they wanted to pass about being allowed to fire teachers and expel students for being gay in the name of religious freedom has been let go, for now) they will just try and make sure there is no mention of anything related to any type of relationship. I think this is just as bad (okay, maybe not quite) as targeting lgbt because it makes it seem like there is shame that should be hushed up. Makes it hard when I am technically not hired by the school but have to follow their rules for most things but I want to be ale to support the students in my care.

3points

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#14

So ik this isn't the question but I came out to my mom with a fact riddled PowerPoint filled with scientific facts. She basically just told me I was too young to know and it would be to hard for her to remember the right pronouns. Afterwards she acted like it never happened and we haven't talked about it since.

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Final score:

5points

Basil (they/them)

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Violet Bunny 1 year ago

So how old were you that she said you're too young to know? Or is she just in denial?

3points

#15

Honestly whenever 1of my friends come out its pretty much just another piece of news because all of us r queer

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Final score:

5points

Aroace tiger (she/they/he)

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oddly_informed_raven 1 year ago

same, at this point one of us will just update on labels/name in the group chat and everyone else just says cool

2points

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#16

Roommate in college. I was changing for bed, standing there in my bra, and she says "You know, I'm bi." And my sweet summer child self thought "By what? By the bed? By the table?" I must have looked confused because she followed up with "Bi-sex-u-al." She offered to find other accommodations if I was uncomfortable. I put my shirt on and said we were cool.

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Final score:

4points

BookFanatic

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A gay cat man (he/him&Tré/Trè) 1 year ago

by sexual? what does that mean? /j

2points

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#17

I was caught off guard, but when my most recent family member came out, I finally got to use the quote "you're no son of mine." I'd actually thought she was going to be a girl until the doctor said otherwise, then 18 years later she realized the doctor had been wrong.
My only regret is having given her such an obviously masculine name. I was delighted when she chose the name I'd have given her if she'd been DFAB. Also, using the same non-gendered nickname has made it easier to deal with extended family who aren't aware of any of our statuses and wouldn't be accepting. (It still makes no sense to me that some people are so offended by things that aren't even their concern!)

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Final score:

4points

Morgueana

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A gay cat man (he/him&Tré/Trè) 1 year ago

i was nervous there for a sec, then the realization dawned

5points

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#18

My husband 's answer: Better that than (irrelevant soccer team) supporter... At least you'll have a chance at being happy!

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Final score:

3points

Claudete Panóias

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Violet1854 1 year ago

Classic

1point

#19

Ooh good question! I always give them a big squeeze, tell them I love them, and make sure that they are safe and loved. Other than “I love you” I often don’t say much when they are coming out. It’s their moment to shine and my turn to sit back and celebrate/accept/listen to them
And for any of you who are queer, please know that from this queer to you I LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE IMPORTANT ❤️

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Final score:

3points

Lovely little lesbian

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QueerLittleQueen(she/her) 1 year ago

Thanks so much (I'm lesbian) also sorry I kinda copied your username but i relate to it so much i added my own little twist to it.

2points

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#20

My oldest child came out to me as transgender. It was difficult to hear but after reassuring him we were okay and loved him, we just said, okay let’s figure out the next steps.

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Final score:

3points

Martha B.

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Violet1854 1 year ago

Believe it, lady, you are one amazing parent every kid wishes for

1point

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#21

I quoted Vince Lombardi via Homer Simpson, your outta the family.

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Final score:

2points

Richard Low

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Richard Low (Submission author) 1 year ago

That was a joke by the way, nothing changed between them or me or them to me or me to them.

8points

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#22

My best friend in 7th grade came out to me. I hugged her and told her that O would support her no matter what and that I was proud of her.

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Final score:

2points

Sydney Rogers

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Stary_cat 1 year ago

Pretty much the exact same with my friend

0points

#23

i dont remember it was like 3 years ago but something along the lines of "cool"

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Final score:

2points

jordan (pineapple he/she)

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#24

my friend: i use they/them pronouns now
my dum bass: okay.
*pause*
me: hey they

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Final score:

2points

Invisigoth (xe/xem)

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LovelyLittleLesbian 1 year ago

Haha this is an example of when awkwardness is actually sweet, funny, and hilarious ❤️

2points

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#25

I was thrilled! I congratulated him and hugged him tight and told him I was a lifelong ally and was there for him 100%. He is a family member and most of our family and his parents have always been supportive.

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Final score:

2points

Janis Wise

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#26

I've had a lot of people come out to me. I usually respond with a "congrats" or "that's cool" or "I support you, Brosita/Broskita/Broski

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Final score:

2points

bluegal (they/them)

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A gay cat man (he/him&Tré/Trè) 1 year ago

i love your use of broski there

3points

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#27

A long time ago, someone came out to me as trans. i made him a cocktail dress.

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Final score:

2points

Catherine Monelle

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#28

Happy they told me, but the first time someone came out to me was them confessing they had a crush on me

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Final score:

2points

Luminite 彡

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QueerLittleQueen(she/her) 1 year ago

SAME!!!

1point

#29

Me (39f) to my sister(30), holding my new born baby: It's your time, now. She: It will be difficult... I like girls, not men... Me: So...? Never heard of donors...?
Queue in hilarity and relief (on her part)...

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Final score:

1point

Claudete Panóias

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Violet Bunny 1 year ago

But maybe she doesn't want kids! I'm straight & never wanted any!

1point

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#30

The nail salon I went to for many years was owned by a gay female couple. One did my nails, the other waxed my legs. Many years passed, then the manicurist decided to come out to me. I stopped her mid-sentence & said, "I know, I've known since my 1st visit here." (She looked shocked.) I continued, "The energy between the 2 of you was so intense, I picked up on it & I said to myself, those 2 are a couple, & if they're not - they should be!" I told her I never said anything b/c it wasn't my place, what if they were in the closet, or if a gay-phobic customer overheard & quit going to their salon? I didn't want to be the reason they lost a customer. She thanked me profusely for that. I added, "Besides, if it bothered me, would I sit here week after week holding hands with you while you do my nails?" She laughed. Afterwards, she trusted me enough to confide her romantic troubles to me when they occured. The only reason I quit going there was the fact that I relocated to a different state when I retired.

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Final score:

1point

Violet Bunny

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A gay cat man (he/him&Tré/Trè) 1 year ago

you sound epic, and i now have a mental image of a purple rabbit hopping around

0points

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#31

I said "you can see my surprised face"

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Final score:

1point

DJR

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#32

He told me he was actually bisexual then asked me out on my birthday and it was really awkward I was like 11 and I basically just freaked out and said "no sorry" and I really regret being like that cause I think it was harsh but we good friends now

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Final score:

1point

IDidntChooseReality

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#33

I just said "okay", when my best friend came out to me.

My dumb naive younger self had no idea what it meant. Didn't change how I saw her and I think she was glad for that.

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Final score:

1point

Cloudy

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GhostlySnail (she/her) 1 year ago

Wait same. Looking back I feel stupid but I kind of lived under a rock

0points

#34

Only ever had one person come out to me. We were supportive and saying "good for you". But afterwards everyone i told said "well we knew that."

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Final score:

1point

Mycroft1967

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#35

Incredibly honored! It took me years to overcome my fear of public speaking, and now I do it with ease. That PALES in comparison to how scary it must be to reveal such vulnerability! To all of you out there getting ready to do the same thing, I wish you the best!

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Final score:

1point

Kevin the Manager

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#36

The first was back in the '90s. We were about to move in together and she thought she should "warn" me she used to be a guy (she was five years post-op). I asked her to pass the salt. She asked if I had any questions or concerns. I asked if she was happy. She said yes. I replied "Great! Can I have the salt please?" She and her partner have been telling the story of my "reaction" for decades. It wasn't that I didn't care, it was that, so what? You are my friend and I love you, I don't give two hoots who you were before we met.

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Final score:

1point

CanadianaKa

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#37

I am a lesbian. Came out to my mom. She never hesitated and just said that I am her child and that she loves me no matter what. So has many friends come out to me. Although I usually just know, I make it a "deal" in the sense of telling them that it's ok and that they have my support weather they come out to other people or not. I know for some it's a bigger thing than for others because of their circumstances at home or within their family or even their ethnic background. For anyone who wants to come out, I would encourage you. The people who really want to be in your life, will stay. The fakes and bigots will leave. So good for you right?

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Final score:

0points

Other user

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#38

I've been privileged enough to be someone that people come out to all my life, and incredibly privileged to be the first person a few times. I've always tried to be a safe space for my friends and family and I'm happy that translated into trust and sharing. I know that coming out is a massive and terrifying step for many and I feel incredibly honored to be a part of their journey.

When I say coming out I am not only referring to sexuality but also neurodivergence.

My response is usually some variation of ''Wow/Amazing/Awesome. I'm so proud of you for sharing. Would you like to talk about it or are you still processing? And the most important thing I always say - I love you and this will change everything and nothing at the same time. This is who you are and stepping into that can be very overwhelming when you've had to pretend to be something or someone else your entire life. It's really scary but so rewarding, and I'm here for you.

If they do want to talk about it - we really get into it. And not just the positive parts, we explore what to expect when coming out to others. The challenges that lie ahead. But we do also explore all the good things too - how the people that are meant to be in your life will love and accept you. And something important to remember is that unfortunately many of us will lose people we care deeply about when we step into ourselves. And that's okay. Those aren't your people. We are.

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0points

BebeR

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#39

A friend of mine came put as genderqueer before I started transitioning. I had asked their pronouns, they said they were fine with any, and we never actually discussed it. Same way with my gender although we do talk a lot about gender in general now

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Final score:

0points

cartoon ghosts

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#40

'Cool now can we order the food?" Said to my friend who came out 18yrs ago.
They are happy I'm happy they are happy.

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Final score:

0points

Clown fish

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#41

"okay...you know it isn't exactly breaking news, don't you?"

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Final score:

0points

Karen Bryan

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#42

"Oh okay then"

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Final score:

0points

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

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#43

For me, I act as chill ab it as possible. just a simple "oh ok cool, love you." works perfect for me. its honestly not a big hoopla and isnt cause for any alienating or big speech on my part🤷‍♀️

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Final score:

0points

•teddy•bear•

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#44

One of my friends in middle school told me they were pan, and I just looked tey up and down and hugged them, I said " I accept you for who you are, and will always be your friend.

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Final score:

0points

Rosey

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#45

My best friend told me she was pan. I squealed and hugged her. I'm so happy for her. She may or may not have also been a minor (*cough* major) influence on me being bi. I kinda had a crush on her later on. Got rejected. We still besties tho. She made a cake and decorated with the Pan flag when she told her parents. She's an awesome person and I can't imagine ever loving someone more than I love her. I couldn't ask for a better best friend :D

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Final score:

0points

just your weird doggo :P

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#46

I (straight, male) was 18 at the time. A guy I met at parties wanted to hang out and have a beer, we met up, had some beer and he started to act a bit weid and started giving me compliments. It never occured me before but he must have thought I was sending signals so he thought I was gay. He came out to me and I declined him. He was a bit dissapointed and also afraid as he was still secretive about it at the time. We remained friends and he even tried to hook me up with one of his girl friends. Cool guy, shame we parted ways going to college.

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Final score:

0points

Tomáš Houdek

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#47

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#47

I am a father with a only son.

My son recently graduated college and is on his way to having a good career with a stable income to support both him and his future wife. Now, I have this friend that I have known from even before my son was born, and we have gone through life together and married; and while I had a son he had a daughter and so they both grew up together. She is pretty, intelligent, and will make you arrive from work with a clean house and dinner ready every day, because that's just the type of woman she is. Now, this was the obvious choice for my son to marry, but while she clearly showed interest in him, he showed none at all. I asked him about it one day and explained to him that people rarely are able to have the opportunity to marry such a woman, and I have repeatedly encouraged him to at least start dating, but to my utter surprise, he came out as gay to me. My son already had a boyfriend, and so the second he said it I smacked him across his face and kicked him out of my home so that he could find his own place to live. I also stopped paying for his college so he had to drop out. That's what he deserves, and now he hasn't contacted me in a while, so I don't have any updates on his life.

There, vent over.

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Final score:

-10points

Random person

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Harshini G Saravanan 1 year ago

ur an a*****e

6points

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What do you think ?

EmbersAreOut 1 year ago

I love that all of these are so sweet and nice, then when my best friend "came out" as trans (i already knew, but it was the first time we ever talked about it), i just kinda stared at him and said "you realize i have know for a couple of months now. your pronouns are he/him in my phone." He just laughed. :)

Danger Bunny (She/Her) 1 year ago

Except for the last one. That person is a SONOFAWALNUTFUCKNUGGETASSHATPEICEOFSHIT

Tyranamar Seuss 1 year ago

Meh. That's how I react. Some like girls some like boys. It's fine, whatever. No bearing on my life. If it was in therapy that'd be different. But as far as friends go- meh.

Bored Seb 1 year ago

My (ex :( ) boyfriend, I've been dating for a few weeks: - I've been thinking about that for a very long time... and I'm definitely not a girl. - Ok - And my name is CHOSEN NAME. - I love you CHOSEN NAME He broke up 6 months later... but I just helped him and supported him as much as I could...

daniel (pineapple he/him) 1 year ago

unrelated but JOHN

Hey Pandas, How Did You React When Someone Came Out To You? (Closed)

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