I randomly came across an online article about the founder of AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) in my early twenties. I had never heard of Asexuality before that. I live in a post-socialist European country, so as a 00's kid, I mostly learned about LGBT stuff from American TV shows (The ER was truly ahead of its time). In my country, most people were barely tolerating "the gays", and this sort of stuff was not talked about in polite society, so I had no idea there were other options than straight, gay or Bi I never had crushes as a kid, so with the information (or lack thereof) I had, I just thought I was a really late bloomer and possibly Bi. Cause everyone kept telling me I would meet the right guy eventually. After I read that first article and looked up AVEN, my first thought was - "huh, it's a thing." It took a bit longer to realize that I am actually AroAce - I have no interest in having a physical or romantic relationship with anyone, that is how I always was and will be, and I am perfectly fine with that.

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13points

AshDragon

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I became aware of the whole LGBTQ+ thing thanks to a gay friend of mine. I spent three years thinking I was pan, till I got into a relationship with a man and found out I was lesbian... it wasn't very fun breaking up with said man, but at least we now remain as close friends :)
Happy pride, btw
🧡🧡🤍🩷🩷

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8points

Krispiechiken (she/her)

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Wikihow's "Am I gay quiz"

Also I don't know if femboys are considered part of the lgbtq+, but I wore a skirt as a prank and ended up discovering something about myself.

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Final score:

8points

Anonymous Fox

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Peggy Carter from marvel was my bisexual awakening. PEGGY CARTER IS SO HOT I LOVE HER

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Final score:

8points

By Deleted User

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I always knew I didn't like people that way. but only herd the term more recently on BP I think it was that comic with the chameleons? ( I'm aroace) happy pride! 🧡💛🤍💙🩵 🏳️‍🌈

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Final score:

8points

Magic Poodle (all but masc)

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When I was eleven and started senior school we had to change for sport. I was quite shy and some of the other boys picked up on this, So they would rip my towel away and I was always so scared that I would have an erection. Just being in a room with lots of naked lads almost blew my mind before I even understood what it meant.

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Final score:

7points

Keith Lancaster

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Checked out "This Book is Gay" by Juno Dawson at my local library because some new colleagues identify as non-binary and I wanted to learn more without asking obnoxious questions. Stumbled across the chapter on asexuality and so many bells started ringing I'm surprised I didn't turn into a tower. I always thought I was just weird.

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Final score:

6points

BookFanatic

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as a kid, i was shielded from lgbt for awhile until my grandpa got me a book called "just like jackie" when i was about 9 or 10, and one of the people in there was a guy with a husband. i asked my mom why there was two guys married to each other and she explained about gay and stuff and told me that it was wrong and against out religion. but i was still curious and i continued to look into it. when i can across the term transgender, i thought to myself "why would a guy want to be a girl? being a girl sucks! i wish i were born a dude!" and realized that what i was thinking was probably not normal, but i chose to ignore it. flash forward to my freshman year of high school and i was looking into a spec identities and i came across the terms "demiromantic and demisexual" and it explained SO much, and it just felt right. at the time i had still felt like being a boy would be better, but refused to belive i was trans since it was "going against god" in my mom's words. but in the summer of 2023, i found out about the term demiboy, and it just felt right. but i wasn't sure if it was me, but i experimented with male pronouns like he/him and i liked it. they/them also felt right, but i tried it/its for fun and i loved it so i had my pronouns as she/he/they/it. then one day(july 25 2023) i tried no she/her, and, oh my gosh! it felt better. like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. i loved it. it was then i knew i was demiboy. but i didn't tell anyone till new years when i let it slip to my best friend that i'm a dude. he accepted me and is still my biggest supporter and best friend. come back to now, end of my sophmore year, and i now know that i'm demiromantic, demisexual, transmasc, demiboy, (might be)gay, and frayplatonic. it was a wild journey discovering who i truly was, and i still got a long way to go to fully transition into a dude(or at least look more like a dude since i would prefer a social transition then a medical transition), and even longer for my mom to accept that i'm not a girl anymore, but i'm happier now with how i am, and i'm very excited to see what the future holds. thank you for coming to my TED talk, i swear i did not mean for this to be so long lol.

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6points

TheForrestGreene (he/they/it)

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it was a lot of things, but I'll tell you the most interesting. First were the dreams. I would very often have dreams that I fell in love with girls, whether they were fictional or people I knew in real life. I also had multiple dreams that were very thinly veiled metaphors for me being secretive about my sexuality. I tried very, very hard to convince myself that these dreams meant nothing (they clearly didn't). One of the other more interesting signs was that in middle school, the other girls from church and I would often have fake marriages with each other, pretend that we were wives and dating or whatever. It took me a little while to realize that to the rest of my friends, this was just a game, but in my confused little gay mind, I was taking these fake relationships very seriously. I thought of my "wife" much like I'd think of an actual partner, and I would get extremely jealous any time she flirted with anyone else. I would get over the moon happy any time she flirted with me, and I would work hard to please her. Looking back, I absolutely had a crush on her 💀

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Final score:

6points

char

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I grew up in a very small village, I never knew any gay people and wasn't really aware of it as a thing.
When I was a teenager, and going through puberty, a new family moved into the village, twin girl and boy, I started 'dating' the girl and became good friends with the boy.
I had feelings towards the boy but didn't act on them.
Life went on and I continued to date girls, eventually getting married and having a child, but there was always something niggling in the back of mind, I found men attractive but ignored it.
Eventually I opened up to my then wife, letting her know how I felt, and to her credit she tried to help me understand it. However, it got to a point where it finally sunk in that I was indeed gay, our marriage came to an end and after, rather awkwardly, getting myself into the gay dating scene, I ended up with a guy.

I mentioned the first part, about the twin girl/boy, because when I look back on my friendship with the boy, there were a number of occasions where it was clear he had feelings for me. A trip down a river in a dinghy where his feet accidentally brushed against my p*nis a few times, I taught him how to play poker and he asked me if I wanted to play strip poker, which I denied at the time through fear of getting caught .. these are just two examples that come to mind, but there were plenty of others. I do regret not acting on the feelings.

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Final score:

5points

Tom Rob

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Thought I was ace. I was actually just disgusted by sex as a guy. I’m actually quite attracted by everyone, just specifically as a girl. The more you know!

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Final score:

5points

Astrius

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There was not exactly a moment. I just slowly realize that I was pansexual and not just straight. The confirmation was when my then partner told me that he was a transguy. It didn't change in anyway how I saw him, my love for him was just stronger as he trusted me enough to come out to me (I was the first one he ever came out to). I was by his side, supporting him at the earliest stage of his transition, and projecting myself still with him while he was going through it. How far he wanted to go didn't have any importance for me. I loved him. I still do :)

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Final score:

5points

Bored Seb

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When both the male and female leads are attractive... My parents used to be kinda homophobic, but they're much better now :D I still struggle with parts of my bi identity tho. My brain is still in the either/or mindset, I'm either faking it and I'm homosexual, or I'm faking it and I'm straight.

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Final score:

5points

BTDubs

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I had no idea something was different at first - sure, I'd often look at boys instead of girls (as was generally expected from boys in their early teens), but it never crossed my mind that it meant something. But then, one day, a friend of mine and I were fooling around and, since we were all alone, got a bit too curious, if you know what I mean... For him, the whole experience was just a strange experiment he'd never repeat (or think about) again. For me, it was like something clicked and I finally started to understand what was different about me. Long story short: today I identify as bi.

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Final score:

5points

Corvus

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So, I was in my 30s. And I had *heard* of bisexual, but as far as I was aware it was an incredibly rare thing, so didn't really give it serious thought. I know I *did* wonder several times if I might be gay, but (as a girl) I knew that I really, really liked guys even before I'd ever made out with one. Found a great guy, got married, still *definitely* liked guys. But every so often I'd get a "weird" (my word, because I couldn't explain it) sort of "crush" on a girl on TV. It didn't seem sexual, or maybe a little but it certainly wasn't anything like how I liked guys. I just figured I was "mostly" straight. I knew about the Kinsey scale. Anyway, finally one time one of those crushes was so intense that I was googling whether it was possible to be attracted to women but not to naked photos of women. And it turns out absolutely yes, lots of people of whatever sexuality aren't turned on by photos. And also a LOT of bisexuals find that it's one way with one gender and a different way with others. (It's one possible distinction between bi and pan as well.. pan means the gender has no impact on the attraction but many for bisexuals DOES impact it, just in a hard-to-describe way. And after I finally understood that, I realized it really had always been there and it actually was sexual even, just not visual. I called myself bicurious for a while before accepting that sometimes, you really don't need to have ever had something to know that you want it.

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Final score:

4points

Parmeisan

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I would say it is not something that you 'find out'.
It is something you realize, then come to terms with under the pressures of family and friends.
Since I was a small child, I realized that there was difference between myself, and my brother, but as small children you do not pay heed to it at all.
As you hit puberty you realize your arousals are not the same as y our brothers or school friends. There is a lot of self-doubt that you process, then comes the being withdrawn from everyone, as you do not know how to tell people.
The late 90's is not like it is now!
After high school it does become easier, as you are able to move out your parent's place, and you are able to free yourself, and let yourself be.
Being 'out' for 20 years does not make it easier or any less terryfying sometimes in certain situations.
The angst and sometimes the stress of an unknown situations does not make being Gay easier.
Time have changed, but some people's views and opinions have not changed.
It does get better, but not always easier. just be true to yourself is my best advice to anyone that is LGBTQ+

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Final score:

4points

Deta Rossiter

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...am I Non-binary quiz...

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Final score:

3points

Yesn't (they/them) ️‍

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I am aromantic (feeling little to no romantic attraction, in my case no attraction at all).
It took me 17 years to understand that, I dated several people and always thought I was attracted to all genders and that I was pansexual.
Then I started to notice that I never asked people to date, but just accepted the propositions even if I wasn't feeling anything towards the person but friendship, I figured love would come (spoiler, it never came). During the last relationship I had I also noticed that I was mimicking what I was seeing in TV or reading in my romantic novels. I was forcing myself to hold hands, kiss, say "I love you", text the person... It all feel like chores.
I ended up breaking up, as I always did (all my relationships lasted at least 3 months and the longest 2 years). Then the first thing I thought after the breakup was "Well, who's gonna teach me Rubik's Cube ?" and I immediately knew it wasn't a normal thought to have. I went to talk to one of my friend who was aromantic and asked her to explain it to me, and it all clicked.
It explained why my whole life I had felt uneasy seeing people kiss or say "I love you", why I viewed relationships like a chore, why I would say "I love you" so quickly in a relationship and wouldn't understand when people said to me that it were important words...
So yeah, I'm aromantic (but not asexual, aro people are not always ace and the reverse is also true).

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Final score:

3points

Ellinor

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Actually from Hazbin Hotel. I watched a bunch of fan theories of Alastor being aroace (he’s canon ace) and I was like “oh! That’s me!” I also kinda knew because lots of kids in my class were talking about their crushes/fake boyfriends and I just didn’t get it. So yeah :)

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3points

𝙻𝚞𝚗𝚊 (𝚜𝚑𝚎/𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢)

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Not about my personnal life but watching the original Queer and Folks british tv show was really really a mind opener for me. First time i saw stories about gay people that were not stereotyped.
I was 15 years old and it changed all my thoughts about gay people.

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Final score:

3points

Jack Burton

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When i went through my teenage years and nothing really happened, everyone else got crushes or girlfriends/boyfriends and I never experienced attraction to anyone. I think i googled it and discovered its called aroace. Im now in my mid 20s and have realised im gay but still ace, I would like to find another autistic ace gay goth gremlin to scamper through the woods with looking for cool bugs 😅

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Final score:

2points

Goth Mouse (he/they)

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It was a what in the weird news story about a Japanese chef who had himself emasculated and then cooked and fed his genitals to people in 2012 because he was asexual which enabled me to find out it was even a posibillity and subsequently I also learned about aegosexuality and I was able to finally reconcile myself earlier this year at the age of 41.

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Final score:

2points

Leebo13

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Found out from having queer friends in college that I have no sexual attraction at all. Found out from a 2010 article about a new pride flag with asexual colours that there is such a thing as being asexual and it’s not because you’re traumatised or shy or frigid or whatever! Found out after being happily single for 18 years and reading this list that I’m most likely aromantic as well.

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Final score:

2points

Moosy Girl

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I was watching Dukes of Hazzard and realized that Daisy Duke's shorts were definitely NOT what was catching my eye.

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Final score:

2points

Not Who You Think

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I fall under the "+" Part of LGBTQIA+
That is to say that I am cisgender. I discovered this during puberty. I became more interested in girls than I was previously. Now that I am a grown man, I am interested in pretty much only my wife.
And if someone of my gender type can't be accepted in the LGBTQIA+ community, then you are all haters that can't be inclusive. This is the way I was born and I have Pride in my sexuality.

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Final score:

2points

Robert Thompson

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I originally started dating boys, then a new girl ( this gorgeous Asian beauty) moved onto my street. I was positive I had a crush on her. I told my boyfriend about it, and he got mad at me and we broke up. Somehow Lillian (my crush) knew that I was upset, and we kind of became friends and I realized she was gay. I now know that I am bisexual and I am so much more comfortable with myself.
Also, Happy Pride Month! # 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈♥️🧡💛💚💙💜🩷🩶

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Final score:

2points

Amaia Horning

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i remember really liking a girl in my class when i was in yr 4
also i remember not feeling like either/or binary gender. i just didn't have the words but after self discovery i can say i'm transmasc, nonbinary, uranic and biromantic :)

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Final score:

1point

Dark Pearl

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Growing up, I only had crushes on male celebs and cartoon/anime characters. So, that's kinda how I found out

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1point

That1Guy

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i never "didn't know" i just didn't accept it? around 4th grade i told my friends (now ex friends more acquittances) that "if i ever HAD to date someone it would be a girl" and then i told my mum that too and she was like "so you're gay" and I SAID "nooo, i wont date anyone but if i did it would be a girl" i think the reason i was so on the ideology (idk if that's the right word) is because im demi romantic, all i know is im gay

sorry if that was hard to read

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1point

what (she/they/it?)

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I guess I'd always known, ever since I was young. I preferred playing around with other boys, before I knew what the concept of gay was. As I got older I worked out I was gay, but bullying and social pressures ensured that I ended up firmly in the closet. Being called a dirty queer does that to you. Only got into accepting my sexuality in my late teens (tried to pretend I was bi for a while), mainly when I moved to London for University. Queer as Folk was probably the biggest eye-opener for me. Came out to my close friends and family in 2000 at the ripe old age of 21

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1point

Alex

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The song Heart Attack is basically the lesbian anthem of K-pop. I had just barely dipped my toes into the waters of lesbian fanfiction when I saw mentions of the song everywhere in the Wattpad comments for the fanfics I had been reading. Watching the music video for Heart Attack basically solidified my growing belief that I was, in fact, attracted to girls.
I highly recommend Heart Attack (by Chuu) for all those looking for a gxg storyline, or just looking for tooth-rotting fluff.

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Final score:

1point

Heeku the Marshmallow

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i found out because i realized that i didn't like she/her pronouns but like they/them and plus i always hated anything too girly like i absolutely despise skirts. it also doesn't help that i have long hair and my face looks very feminine but im getting through with my body dysphoria and im gonna probably trim my hair shorter to the way i like it. also it helps that half my friend group is part of the community so they helped me identify who i am. :3

HAPPY PRIDE EVERYONE

love,
non binary hooman 💛🤍💜🖤

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1point

life=fork me soup(they/them)

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so for me, i started out being a christian funny enough, i met my bff when i was 6 and then after 6 years of believing in the christian belief, i started to realise that i fell in love with my guy bff (i'm agender, then i was identifying as a guy) but when he moved away i thought i was bisexual and non-binary, then at 14 i didn't like anyone sexually

long story short i am a demisexual agender who as you can tell is a femboy

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1point

Purple_bio

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First time I was confused about it I was about 10 and watching the older girls in my ballet class giving a demonstration. One of them was so beautiful - I couldn't take my eyes off her. If I noticed attractive people in the street they were usually girls or women and I would think about them for ages afterwards. I had a crush on a girl I went to primary school with but didn't view it as a crush. A while later, in secondary school I met the girl who would become my first girlfriend when we were 14 and it all fell into place.

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Final score:

1point

Amy Smith

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I didn't really find out as such, I just sort of knew I was attracted to both boys and girls when I hit puberty. Both my parents, even my dad who was in the Royal Navy, were very open minded, they had several gay and lesbian friends and my mum's gay best friend was at her wedding with his boyfriend, which was not that common in the 70's UK so I always new what gay and lesbian relationships were. I didn't have to tell my parents I was bisexual/pansexual they kind of guessed I was when I hit puberty and the posters of the male and female celebs I fancied appeared on my bedroom wall. Because I was never really in the closet, I never truly "came out". Although I became aware of my sexuality at around puberty, I never had a boyfriend or girlfriend until I was 16 and at college. (In the UK, college is between senior school and University, so 16-18 years old).

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1point

martin734

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I have always known and accepted I'm bi - I kissed my best friend in elementary school because she had never kissed a boy (duh, we were 11 years old) but I had, so without blinking an eye, I taught her what French kissing was and that felt amazing. Then, one day in college, I fell in love with a girl, but I was already involved with her (male) house mate. Unfortunately, I've always been too shy to chat up girls, and my crushes on girls have therefor always been in secret.

About 3 years ago, I realised being polyamorous is a thing. A real, actual, existing thing. That really hit me. It also dawned on me that a very special relationship I had in my twenties was, in fact, a polyamorous relationship. It was the most natural thing for me back then, it just *was* and I never questioned the way in which we were seeing each other, in a respectful but non-exclusive way. According to standard norms however, I've always cheated on boyfriends. I never felt a lot of remorse doing so, although I obviously realised I wasn't supposed to be seeing other people because my partners would be deeply hurt. I believed I was a horrible person. I so wish I had known 20 years ago being poly is a thing. That would have saved me and a few guys a lot of heartbreak.

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1point

MellonCollie

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Mostly the internet.... also I had a HUGE crush on my best friend when I was ten, I didn't know it at the time though.

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1point

Rob(erta) Roy (They/Them)

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In the '70s, when I was around 8 or 9, my best friend's mom let us look at his dad's girlie magazines. I got bored rather quickly and asked her if she had any magazines with naked men...
I didn't identify as gay, as I didn't know what gay was. From the mouth of babes?

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1point

Jon Wieland

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Looking at the mens and woman’s anatomy, I quickly learned that the man’s was more *ahem* interesting. And now I’m gay.

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1point

Max Pasterski

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In high school, to have "something different" about me, I started saying I was bi to my boyfriend. I didn't really like the girls around me or on TV this much. I figured, even if I'm not really sexually attracted to women, I'll just never put myself in a position where I'd need to "prove" it. And then the one openly masculine lesbian in school flirted with me, and, well, I did not just pretend to be bisexual anymore.
I discovered I was non-binary a loooot later, following a seminar given by a non-binary coworker for diversity training. Coming from a very sheltered traditional background, it was the first time anyone told me I had other options than "woman" and "man", or explained the difference between gender and sex. I knew I had always been feeling off and awkward around having to be a lady, and do the lady stuff, and be called and perceived as a woman. I fought this off by being the girliest girl around, and still miserable. Seeing this colleague comfortable in all her femininity and happy to be perceived as such, combined with the content of the seminar she gave, just broke it all up. Now I'm a happy little transmasculine gremlin of a person :)

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Final score:

1point

Cyriel

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I found out when (early 1980s) a player joined the NHL team I used to cheer for. He got picked up in a trade, then interviewed, and ... I went ~KLUNK~ inside, watching, mesmerized. If I had been a few years older, it would have been Peter Frampton that made me go "klunk".

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1point

Guess Undheit

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I knew since the day I was born. I told my mother at age 3 that I was in the wrong body, that I was a boy. She wrote me off and avoided the conversation for years. I found out from a PET scan that I do in fact have male internal parts as well as female. I can only deduce my parents made the choice to surgically alter my genitals to reflect female. I can't ask, because they are both deceased. They were wrong.

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1point

Victor Pierce

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I come from a family considered traditional, one of those that tries to pretend to the world that they are perfect, but deep down are slightly dysfunctional. Anyway… I grew up without much prejudice and kissed a girl for the first time at 13 and thought, “ok, I’m bi,” but as the years went by, I started not liking being in my body, it was almost like I felt like a man in a woman’s body. It took me a while to understand that I was pan and gender fluid. What helped me was my brother sending me an article about it. I thought I was trans, but I hover between the two genders in the way I feel and think. But in general, I dress like a woman.

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1point

Camila Monteiro

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Aro-Ace people count right? I figured out that most of my crushes and people I dated were because I was forcing them to happen. After me and my gf broke up I did some researching online to figure out what I was. Shoutout to wikihow's "What sexuality am I" or whatever it was.

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1point

Minecraft_Chicken (He/Chicken)

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Long story short this girl i hate spread a rumor that i liked a guy so i denied it (obviously) and started telling people that i was lesbian. Fell down into the rabbit hole and a year later i realize i've never liked anyone ever.
Basically I may AroAce or demisexual ????
if anyone has any info that can help me please speak up, i'm really confused.

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Final score:

1point

randomhungryhamsterperson

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I read a book

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1point

By Deleted User

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I watched the Jaiden Animation video: Being Not Straight. That made me realize that I’m actually aromantic! My friends are super supportive and I try to help them with their crushes, and I haven’t come out to my family yet, but they were super supportive of my bi sister so it’ll probably happen soon :)

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1point

Dnd Panda (she/they)

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Started when I was ten and was playing in a room while my dad was watching a show behind me, saw two women kiss on the show and it weirded me out because I was Mormon at the time, in a Mormon family, in Utah, and if you know the Mormons, they're kind, but shelter their kids from a lot of stuff. Anyway then it was a show I watched later one called Voltron Legendary Defender with a gay character named Shiro (it's been a while probs spelled that wrong) and I also got into fandoms and things like that, also middle school where people started to come out as things. I began to be a straight alley. Watching a lot of shows with LBGT+ characters. Then I found myself rooting for female characters more and more, and realized I've been doing it my whole life. It wasn't always female characters however. I began to see girls and boys as hot and pretty. By 12 I realized I might be bisexual, but it wasn't until I was 16 I was sure I was! Proud to be a bisexual, autistic, girl!

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1point

Chickens are fluffy

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Got hit on the head with the anti d**k stick

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Mochi

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I didn't realize it at the time (almost 30 years ago and raised mormon) so I didn't understand what I was feeling.

I was in Jr high and heading to the bathroom during class and a friend of mine walked by up then pulled me into the biggest full body hug. My heart flip flopped. I thought it was just a response to being hugged by a non family member. As i got older, left the church, and had more life experience that was the moment that I can pinpoint showing I was Bi (really pan but I didn't have that term).

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SassyFrassy

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I always thought I was straight because I, a woman, had no interest in women romantically or sexually. And I dismissed my lack of attraction to men as “I’ll feel that way when I’m a bit older,” but then it just didn’t happen. It felt like all of a sudden, all of my friends had grown up and were getting into relationships and having sex and crushes, and thought it was odd that I wasn’t. After some research and self reflection, I realized that I’m aromantic and asexual, and I’m much happier now that I’ve come to accept that fact. Happy pride everyone!

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saw & order

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I got a haircut and a girl in my class complimented me on it and I turned red like a tomato and hid in the bathroom for like an hour and then realized oh maybe that isn’t normal haha

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GhostlySnail (she/her)

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