idk i also need to vent soooo

#1

ok. we’re going to start not from the beginning because that would be around 6-7 yo. most of my life i have been my parents mediator, therapist, punching bag, doormat, you name it. so a bunch of people caught on that i’m an overall easy person to abuse and manipulate so they do. FUN, amirite? recently, my parents marital issues have surfaced and they blame me. without me, they wouldn’t be married. i was born when my mom cheated on her ex (he cheated several times, along with abusing her) and gave birth to me (still married to ex). my mom has borderline personality disorder and lots of trauma and ptsd. my dad has undealt with trauma and abuse too. i’ve always been the person who bottles up feelings and sh- so. fun. i’m trying to get a therapist but there aren’t any available 🫠. all my friends moved away. today however, my mom has decided to only talk to me to rip my head off over every little thing, and the whole time i’m like “no wonder dad has an apartment and a second job”. she screamed at me about how i do nothing all day (i’m the only one doing sh- around the house and keeping it clean. i haven’t eaten a proper meal in a week). on top of that, i’m making sure my dad doesn’t murder her (i mean that figuratively) and my brother doesn’t break everything (he’s got serious anger issues). and the whole time i’m saving their asses by literally never saying anything about how abusive my whole family is. not ONE of my friends know how suicidal i’ve been (i’m getting much better on my own don’t worry) and how much i’ve struggled the past 6 years. i’m 14. i’ve always felt like a problem, always been treated like a problem, and just overall sick of this. SOME GOOD THINGS ABT THIS THO is i know how to make myself laugh, entertain myself and others, get others out of dark places, and matured really fast. ik it’s a lot and no one’s going to read all of this but i feel sooooo much better letting this out 😌 if you did read all of this comment a blue heart at the bottom 💙

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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

again i’m sorry. someone else is also prob going thru this so y’all aren’t alone. even perfect seeming families struggle (like mine for example)

Me
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

❤️❤️❤️ I hope things get better, just know that is pandas are always there for u 😸

CascadedFalls
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am truly sorry for the situation you are facing. You've been dealing with enormous amounts of stress and responsibility well beyond your years. It's impressive how you can find moments of positivity despite the challenges. Remember, you don't have to carry this burden alone - even if it's hard to find a therapist these days, perhaps you could try to find a counselor in your school? Your strength and resilience are evident, and sharing your feelings here is a positive way to let off steam. Keep focusing on what makes you happy and knowing that someone cares about you. Sending you virtual support 💙.

Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

thank you so much, Cascade Falls. i’ve been trying to get a counselor, but so many people also need them too. i appreciate your support a lot, thank you 💙

Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

thank you so much. i really appreciate being heard, even from a stranger on the internet 🩷

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Random Stranger
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hello, this is a person was abused (I'm 18 btw) and am concerned with the wording, like punching bag. If I may ask, do they frequently hit you? If so, please find a way out as soon as possible. Same if they don't feed you! 💙

Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

emotional punching bag, no i’m not being physically abused, sorry for the confusion.

Hazel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh no, I'm so sorry for you. I can totally relate to the situation you are in :(, I hope you know that you are very strong and that there will always be people who care about you and you can vent to them! <3. It's okay not to to be okay but know that you are not alone, there are a lot of people who would like to do something for you (including me). And know that this situation is NOT normal, you really don't have to assume that people still worse than you because this is already a s****y situation. It's actually good that you put this online and that you can ask for help <3 I'm always here for you :))

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    #2

    my anxiety is getting bad again and life is starting to seem pointless. my doctor recommended these vitamin things for me that are like natural antidepressants but my parents haven't bought them yet. honestly i might be a lot worse right now if i wasn't at a new school, i actually feel a lot calmer about going to school every day and not having to face the people that made the past few years of my life hell. but i'm starting to feel the eyes again. and the itchiness from the anxiety. and the fact that i DON'T have any friends in this school.

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    baby frog
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    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i’m your friend now. life isn’t pointless, even if it seems like it sometimes. i’m really sorry your anxiety is so bad, it will get better. i also have really bad anxiety but my needs never get met in my family so i’m just over here freaking out while the rest of my family is fine lol. i’m always here for you if you ever need an online friend, you know?

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