Hey Pandas, Do You Have Any Questions About Queerness? (Closed)

In honor of pride month, ask me (and the other queers here) any questions you may have! Whether you're cishet and confused about something, or questioning and want advice, I'll try to help. Don't be an asshole, don't be queerphobic. Happy pride!

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Question for the trans pandas- how should I refer to a trans person if I'm referring to a time before they transitioned? I have a friend who I haven't seen irl since before they came out as trans, so when I'm telling someone else a story involving that friend, I don't know if it's better to use their current name and pronouns or the name an pronouns they used during the time I'm referring to.

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Final score:

6points

A Wild Bean (they/them/any)

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Pride Bean️‍ 1 year ago

I think it might be best to use their current names and pronouns because many trans people aren't comfortable when being reminded of their dead

4points

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Is it okay to identify as non-binary until I've figured out my gender identity?

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Final score:

5points

Flame

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crowspectre (he/they) 1 year ago

Yep! I used they/them primarily for nearly a year before I fully transitioned, just do whatever you're comfortable with

5points

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Hey queer pandas!
My question is: when or how did you know you were queer? I’m trying to figure myself out, so any advice will help, thanks!

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Final score:

4points

By Deleted User

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crowspectre (he/they) 1 year ago

I figured out I was queer when I was 12, but it took me until early this school year (I'm 14) to realize my actual identity. It's a hell of a journey, I only figured it out when I stopped denying that I'm trans, then I realized I'm gay as f**k a few weeks later. It did take me multiple years to accept that I use he/they tho

5points

ThatCapybara 1 year ago

Oh not this Weezy piece of çrap again. Go away, no-one caressss

1point

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shanila.pheonix_ 1 year ago

i don't like anyone romantically or sexually. i just never really cared for love i guess

5points

ace pirates (she/they) 1 year ago

Cute character in a tv show 🫠

3points

Pan princess ( She/Them) 1 year ago

I realize I had a crush on my friend at the time she was a girl and so was I then they realized that they weren't a girl anymore and I still had to crush on them so that's how I realized that I was pansexual.

3points

GhostlySnail (she/her) 1 year ago

It’s really hard to explain. Long story short, I just kind of slowly realized “wait. I never really notice guys for being cute, but I do for girls?”

3points

Percabeth Forever (she/they) 1 year ago

That’s where I am now tbh

1point

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Red PANda (she/they) 1 year ago

I realized I was pan when I was 14! My first crush on a girl was the summer before freshman year at high school; and so I thought I was bi for a while. Then, during freshman year, I had a crush on someone who changed their gender multiple times throughout the duration of my having a crush on them(transmasc to feminine to agender), and I realized each time, huh, my feelings for them haven’t changed a bit! So yeah, that’s when I realized. However, i would like to mention I was educating myself on lgbtq+ stuff at like 12 and I saw pansexual and I was like, huh, that sounds cool, kind of sounds like me tbh, but I’ve only had crushes on boys, right?

2points

Pride Bean️‍ 1 year ago

I figured out I was queer when I was 8 actually! I had an older friend who was gay and so obviously I knew about it at an early age. When I was 9 I started 'dating' a girl (I was female at the time) and nothing came to my mind but when I was 10 I was able to scream "IM GAY" from the rooftops.

2points

Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 1 year ago

Honestly I just kinda Googled y I don't get crushes then aromantic/asexual showed up and I was like ohh

2points

Percabeth Forever (she/they) 1 year ago

When I was about 11, starting middle school, I realized that I really liked this girl, and it all started there. Now I am questioning my gender and sexuality, and I know I won’t be able to figure it out for a while

2points

SavvyScribbler 1 year ago

Freshman year is when i discovered i was gay, i had a huge crush on this girl and after time i realized i had never actually liked a guy in my life

2points

fair_weather_rose (she/they) 1 year ago

Uh...I'd already found guys attractive and stuff, and then there was this insanely cute girl at a Halloween party I went to. That sort of caused a bit of a panic spiral that led to me falling into a ton of internet rabbit holes about sexuality, and then I figured out that I'm pan. There was some other stuff too, but thats basically it

1point

Mr.Kris 1 year ago

I was very late to the game. I didn't really know until after I just graduated hs.

1point

thechildreninmybasement 10 months ago

oh it was a PROCESS to say the least. honestly i js figured out what queer meant and i was like. oh. thats me. idk what part of it it is but thats me

0points

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How do you define queerness?

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Final score:

4points

Nathaniel (He/Him) Cis Het.

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crowspectre (he/they) 1 year ago

Anything that the general public sees as 'other' in terms of sexuality and gender. Once complete acceptance happens, queerness won't exist cause hetero and cisnormativity won't exist

6points

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I'm a 50 yo man (cisthet, the whole pack) and many things in Queerness are complex for me. My only direct personal experiences have been with lesbians, gays and bisexuals (fellows, clasmates, co-workers). And it's quite easy: he has a boyfriend/husband, she has a girlfriend/wife. But, since I teach in a university master, in the last years, this universe has been changed. Transexuality is more and more a reality... but it's also quite easy, and, since my university allow students to be in student lists with the name of their choice, it's also quite easy. Maybe he was once a she, but it's incidental/trivial for my work and my relation with my students. In my first class, I usually offer comprehension to everyone in the classroom, and a safe space, and I ask for comprehension to me. I will keep learning and learning... And I know I won't understand everything I hear or read, since feelings can't be always easily exported. So, I have no questions, just live your live as you want it to be. Surround yourself with the best people that you find in your life and be loyal to them. Fight for them and cry for them. Be strong. I have no questions. Only the infinite happiness knowing that you and so many others (and a very little myself) are building a better world for ourselves and for our children. Happy pride!

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Final score:

3points

Marcos Valencia

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fair_weather_rose (she/they) 1 year ago

Thank you, it really means a lot that you wrote this, and that you can so easily adapt to and accept changes as they happen in the world

3points

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Can someone explain the point of “neopronouns” crowspectre your a professional, could you help?

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Final score:

2points

Blue_Mouse (is gone!)

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crowspectre (he/they) 1 year ago

If someone isn't comfortable with he, they, she or it, and they feel like an established neopronoun (or a new one, but that's rarer) fits better, they often use it. Most people using neopronouns also use another 'regular' pronoun in addition. When I was still pretransition and denying that I'm a guy, I used xe/xym for a little while. It really didn't fit me but there are some people who feel right with them, even though they can be confusing sometimes.

6points

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Is it a requirement, er, necessary, to choose a label? I got confused not long ago. If I were to try and fit myself into all of this, I’d be a she/they or just a they/them. But I have no idea how that’s determined, what things should be taken into consideration to figure it out, or if I’m trying to hard to be included. Also, what would it be called if… you have a sexual attraction to one gender, but only a romantic attraction to the other?

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Final score:

1point

P.C.

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Pride Bean️‍ 1 year ago

It's totally not necessary to have a label. You can just be you!

4points

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I think I am pansexual, but I can't be 100% sure. Any tips on figuring out my identity?

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Final score:

1point

could've just left me alone

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crowspectre (he/they) 1 year ago

Labels are just the words you feel comfortable with, you don't have to matche everything perfectly. Pansexual is defined as attraction to any person without gender being associated with attraction at all, whereas bisexual, polysexual and omnisexual can all mean attraction to all genders with varying or different types of attraction to each gender. Good luck figuring out ur identity!

2points

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Please don't downvote me, sorry if this question seems offensive: So my friend was born as a female but changed his gender to a male. Since he is too young to do surgery to change gender, but still, he says he is a boy. Some rude people say he is still a girl, they are technically correct, (only scientifically). But I call my friend he/him because he wants to be called that and I think it is rude to call him she/her when he wants to be called he/him. So are the people who called him she/her technically honest? What do you guys think?

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Final score:

1point

Bye! Pancake_Pansexual_Panda_

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1D Addict (They/them) 1 year ago

Even if he hasn't had "the surgery" he still identifies as male and the people that call him otherwise are incorrect. Gender is a construct all that matters is how he chooses to identify :) how he presents. Its who he is.

1point

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Hey Pandas, Do You Have Any Questions About Queerness? (Closed)

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crowspectre (he/they)

crowspectre (he/they)

Diana Lopetaitė

Diana Lopetaitė