Most of us have been in this spot, and those who haven't most probably will have to deal with this at some point in their lives, so it's better to be prepared for that moment. And it'd be nice for you to share your experience and tips for those that have experienced it. So tell us your best method to cope with a breakup!

#1

Focus on YOU! Be outside, be with friends, read, exercise. There are SO many positive distractions. And tell yourself it’s ok to feel all the feels- it’s ok.

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Chris Jones
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, this. It is okay to be upset. Do things that will help you move on. We're all just trying people on to see if they fit - there's inevitably going to be a few false starts. When a relationship ends don't try and cling on to them. Let them go. Try not to be bitter and apportion blame - sometimes it will exist but more often than not it was just not meant to be. Carry on with your life and eventually you'll be ready to meet someone new.

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#2

Do something that makes you happy

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#3

just remember to hide the body under an endangered plant so its illegal for people to dig it up

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#4

Someone once told me that a great way to let go of your pain is to write a few letters to your ex and then burn them.
I did that and I definitely feel much better but I'm wondering...
Do I keep the letters or throw them away?

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Marcellus the Third
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Obviously burn. It's nothing to do with them, nor with any third party that will eventually come across them. It's just a way of forcing yourself to formulate what's playing around in your head, to sort things out.

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#5

Learn from it. Reflect, think about why things went wrong, it might've been you it might've been your ex-partner. But learn from it and take that into your next relationship.

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#6

I would listen to music or get on a call (I usually do facetime) wit a best friend or someone you know who would listen to you or do what you see in movies grab: ice cream, a spoon, fluffy blanket, and watch your favorite movie.

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#7

When my ex-girlfriend left me, it took me a year to realize the simple fact that she just wasn't meant for me. It hurt to think about because I really and truly thought she was the one but then I had to think that I'm a teenager and I've got time. Sure, that's not everyone's case, but I believe that when you're really and truly in love, you can't fall out of it. So, if it doesn't work out, don't lose hope. Someone out there is made to love you for you.

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#9

If it was not meant to be then it was not meant to be. Take solace in the fact that you are one step closer to fidning The One

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#10

If you can afford it and look after him/her the way they deserve it, get a dog. They love unconditionally and are loyal trustworthy and make the best friends. You will never be lonely with a dog around and you will always have something wonderful to come home to. There is no love like a dog's love. Trust me, I know. They don't judge, blame, argue with you, chastise you, hurt you or betray you. They are always there for you and they are just the best friend ever. I could easily live with out a partner in my life but I could NEVER live without a dog.

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#11

its going to be hard at first but your friends will always be there to help you [but if you need somebody you dont know to talk to we will be here] next get rid of like clothes from the past realationship change your sheets so they dont smell like the person, next block them on all socail media so you arent tempted to talk to them take as much time as you need to relax and fiigure out how to love yourself [you could get a dog to help get rip of anxiety and depression, thats what i did just having something to take care of helped me alot] good luck and use this info well, love you!

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Liam Walsh
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can just wash the sheets you know. Clothes can trigger memories so donate them, get new/second hand and treat yourself to a fresh image.

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#12

Just focus on yourself because the only person that should matter in your life is YOURSELF. Just pay attention to your needs. Hang out with friends and family, read, go for walks, play with your dog. ( if you have one ) If s/he breaks up with you, then you weren't meant to be. THAT IS perfectly fine because YOU WILL find someone that cares about you, FOR REAL. All the matters is being you and caring for yourself.

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#13

Delete them from your phone and all social media until the urge of contacting them goes away. Helps in times when it is hard to have self control. Saved me from unnecessary added pain and embarrassment so I could have time to heal.

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#14

1. Don’t let them convince you that you can be friends after, especially if it was a bad situation. Maybe down the road, but lack of separation immediately after will make things so much worse.

2. You are allowed to not put up with their BS. You don’t have to listen to them yell at you, beg, whatever. Walk away, hang up the phone - feel free to just leave it without justifying why.

3. Don’t take the blame, or let yourself be weighed by guilt. If it ended because you did something like cheat, yeah time for some self reflection. Otherwise, move on and look to a positive future.

4. Try to take time to find out who your new you is before starting another relationship. Relationships of all kinds help shape us. The you of now might not quite be the same you as before. Interests and ideals change.

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#15

I've never broken up with somebody or even dated, but chocolate makes everything better. Or hang with friends and a pet.

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#16

Ok so if you broke up with them remember that and remember the reasons you did it will show you that its ok your better off without them. If they broke up with you block them on all social media on your phone have zero contact with them anymore so it doesn't make it worse unless the break up was on good terms. But focus on you, get your friends together party to super amazing post a bunch if cute pictures make them miss what they had, but don't go back you broke up a for a reason.

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#17

Cry it helps you let go of everything. Read romance novels and indulge in your favorite activities. And finally ice cream.

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#18

Chalk it up to experience and move on to the next one.

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#19

It isn't advice as such, but remember that dating is like test-driving a car. There will be many tests before you find the right one. And it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with the cars you didn't choose, they will be someone's perfect car, just not yours. If someone decided you weren't their best fit, they truly did you a favor, and you will see that in time. Just hang in there and know there is someone magnificent out there for you.

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#20

First things first, make sure it's really over. You don't want to think twice about "what could've been." That doesn't mean that you have to stalk the other person, especially if they've said "no."

My advice would be to not obsess over the person, and invest time in yourself: go to a spa, or a gym, meet your friends, try to have a chill time with the people that are still around you, start an activity that you've always wanted to do, like arts and such. It's best to start regaining your confidence ASAP. Be aware that going on a bender isn't such a great idea at this sensitive time. You can do it, like, once at the very start of the breakup, but try not to make it a habit, as you'll trap yourself in a bigger hole.

Let yourself feel all of the emotions concerning it, don't try to block them out, but don't think too much about how the other person is feeling, or what you've done wrong since you'll just probably hurt yourself even more.

Let the time pass, only then you can start figuring things out, apply yourself, and correct the errors that you've made. That way, you'll have a better relationship than before, I can guarantee it.

After a while, like three months after, you can try to re-establish contact with the person you've broken up with, and try to make friends again, if you both want to, but don't rush it, as it will fan the feelings again, and it can become toxic.

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Chris Jones
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Er, some of this - such as don't obsess on the person and invest in yourself. We need to stop trying to hold on to people when relationships don't work out. If they've met someone new it's not fair to that person and if they haven't sometimes all it does is reawaken old pain - frequently for you both. It's less usual to end up as friends no matter how nice an idea it might seem.

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#21

If you can't move then CLEAN EVERYTHING! And while you are at it, re-arrange things so everything will be different beginning the next portion of your life. Nothing worse than bits that remind you of the one who broke your heart. (And then take a trip - a day trip will do but a weekend is better - to give you new thoughts, ideas and an adventure to open your world. And get rid of ANY music that reminds you of them!) Someday you will look back on this and it will be funny while you are living the life you deserve!

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#22

Yes! Don't feel bad to rant to people! Make sure to listen to Music or other things that make you feel happy. Sad songs are good for this sort of thing!

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#23

if you guys break up its because the other person doesn't deserve you and that you are to awsome to handle

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Carrie Laughs
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or you are two ordinary people are aren't compatible and it was never going to work. There are simply endless scenarios that it could be.

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#24

Make sure you can still attempt to be friends with them, don't tear them out of your life right away, it'll only make things worse. look at other love interests. most importantly, TAKE A BREAK FOR A LONG TIME. jumping right into a relationship is the worst thing you can do after a breakup, trust me.

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Marcellus the Third
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why? This seems very case-by-case. No contact for 6--12months then review seems more sensible; both for yourself and the other (no mixed messages etc). If there's a basis for friendship, then it can start there. If there's not, it will be clear.

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