Do you agree with second chances and why? Would you ever forgive somebody who hurt you?

#1

From assessing other people, and seeing the long term outcomes, I think it really does depends on the situation. The worst enemy is paranoia and that can destroy your mental health.

My wife says she thinks it is a case of hurt vs betrayal.
If someone hurts you, you can both learn from it and move on. It could be a "you issue" or a "them issue", but you can try to find an understanding. And it's worth another go because you can't agree on everything.
If it is betrayal, you will never have that level of trust you once had, you will always be wondering if they will do it again. Even if they would never do it again, it's not fair on either of you to be in a relationship without trust.

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#2

I would give someone another chance in a relationship. Sometimes people do deserve second chances depending on what they did, but somethings are unforgivable.

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#3

I think that it really depends on what they did and if they are actually sorry for it.

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#4

It really depends on the circumstances and the person.
Some people you are more capable to forgive and restore (somewhat) a relationship with, like a parent, a sibling, a long time friend...
But for others no, you just can't. It also depends on what they did of course.

Sometimes people hurt us without wanting to. They might go through a difficult time. In this case be there for them and don't take everything to heart.

And sometimes... Well, when a glass breaks you can't glue it back again...

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#5

It depends on how bad what they did is. Something dumb like accidentally breaking something/forgetting something/etc, is easily excusable. Hurting you emotionally or physically ON PURPOSE can’t be forgivable or you’ll find yourself somewhere you don’t like

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#6

Depends on what happened

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#7

If you break up for enough time for the other person (and you) to work on yourself. Unless there was abuse (a hard no no). A restart isn’t out of the question. But start slower. Embers burn longer than an actual flame.

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#8

It all depends if the trust is undermined.
Years ago I walked out on my fiancé who had been unfaithful to me. I thought about it for weeks. She tried to stop me from leaving & she was in tears and very distraught. Begging me to forgive her.
I was still very much in love with her but the foundation of our relationship had been shattered. It could never be the same.
I walked out the door and never went back.

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#9

It depends on how they hurt me. I do not stand for cheating in relationship and would not give a second chance in that relationship. Some other times though I would because it's hard to have a good relationship without struggles.

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#10

Yes. sometimes you do something that you really shouldnt have done. if you learn from that and actually make an effort to be better about whatever it was, a second chance in a relationship would be acceptable.

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#11

It really depends I mean everyone makes mistakes but there’s a line

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#12

Usually - no. There was probably a reason you broke up, and if it truly hurt you, don't let them do it again. However, if it was over something small, like maybe an accusatory claim of something like 'cheating', sure. But try to examine what would make you believe whoever said it, and not your partner first! (me giving out relationship advice like i've ever had one lol)

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#13

No I don't ( in most cases) if there was something so wrong with the relationship that one or two parties decided to end things it won't be good a second time.

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#14

No. They showed their true color, they proved what they were capable of... Never forgive, never forget, protect yourself.

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Kalmar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It very well may be their true colors, but I think it’s important to consider that we are all human and we aren’t perfect. People are capable of horrid things, but that doesn’t define who you are. There is a happy medium between trusting others and protecting yourself. If you can forgive, forgive. If you got hurt, then remember and learn. It will absolutely hurt, but you could further hurt yourself by putting up your shields. I know I’ve missed potential relationships because I thought I might get hurt again. Important to be mindful.

#15

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