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Hey Pandas, Ask A Question About LGBTQ+ And Allow Commenters To Answer It (Closed)
Be nice y’all. Please ask genuine questions and don’t be mean to others unless they’re a troll. Trolls will be reported and banned.
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#1
Just wanted to say thank you for such a cool article. I have learned a lot.
Final score:
43points
#2
@Weezy, I have a message for you.
You have been reported, downvoted, and warned many times. You are making children, users, and people feel VERY bad with your God AWFUL transphobic comments, and your comments in general.
Stop. You need to stop. Keep your opinions about the LGBTQIAP+ community TO YOURSELF, and STFU.
Because the downvotes, warnings, and reports aren't working, I have asked Bored Panda to remove you. Some people think this is a step too far. I think it's just right. You are targeting people with your s****y comments and negative attitude. You have made me feel HORRIBLE about my gender and sexual identity. You have made US feel HORRIBLE because clearly, you have nothing better to do than target and cyberbully kids, teens, and users on the internet when they have done nothing to you.
I think you are immature, stupid, and reckless.
And to all the people out there who are feeling sad and horrible about @Weezy's comments, I urge you to take control. Just know, that there are people out there who support you, even if you don't know them. There are people who WILL help you, and not post transphobic comments.
And @Weezy, go to hell.
Sincerely,
Bluegal
Happy Pride Month, y'all!
Final score:
42points
#3
A question for the nonbinary (specifically non-intersex) people out there:
Do you experience something akin to gender dysphoria like many trans people do, but towards both sexes?
Or is it more of a feeling that your personality does not conform to society's view of either sex, so you decide to be your own gender? Do you think that would change if society's views on gender roles was different?
I hope that doesn't come off as mean, I just feel I understand trans people much more that nonbinary people (in the sense that my understanding of nonbinary people is lacking) and want to broaden my horizon.
Thanks for your time!
Final score:
26points
#4
My teenage daughter has come out as bisexual. My response was that I didn't care who she dated so long as she was a good & decent human being, that she chose someone that was a good & decent human being, they both loved each other & treated each other well. How can I support her & not just tell her but actually show her that I'm supportive of her choices?
Final score:
24points
#5
Hey everybody thanks for the chance to ask!
We all know the guy who says "I identify as an attack helicopter", and we'll, it's just eyeroll-worthy.
On the other hand, I have encountered people who consider themselves part of the LBGTQ+ community, but say/write they identify as an "android amazon" or a "happy samurai badger" or something like that. You yourself have probably seen more or less "weird" genders floating around as well.
Do you ever feel offended by such gender names? Do you feel as if you're not taken seriously, especially if you are non-binary yourself?
Do you fear such "humorous" genders may harm the community as a whole, as in "The LGBTQ+ people don't even take their genders seriously, so why should we?"
Final score:
21points
#6
Hi. I'm sorry to say this, but I didn't know there was such thing as the LGBTQetc community until a few years ago(I don't pay attention to politics or social changes or whatever). I didn’t(still don't really)get how people can change their genders to whatever they want, because "they can be anything they want to be", or do it "because they feel like it". It makes no sense. I dont understand, but I'm trying to okay? My question is how you wake up one day and think "you know what, I like girls AND boys now"(or the other genders or preferences, you know them all). Anyway, I want to understand WHY, so I can learn to be more respectful and not be as judgemental(I was taught to treat people how I want to be treated, and I feel I haven't been doing that sometimes. I shouldn't judge someone I don't understand). People go through things, and I feel the Pride people get a lot of hate, which you don't deserve. So: *What made you want to change your gender, and why?* If this is a stupid question, don't get mad at me, I'm just curious.
Final score:
19points
#7
I think my only question would be for the trans folks that were in a relationship prior to transitioning. For example, a lesbian couple that has been in a relationship for some time and one of them decides to transition to male, including medical operations. Is the other non-trans lesbian partner still attracted to the other now that they are male?
Note: I may not be using the correct terminology, so forgive my ignorance if that’s the case.
Final score:
16points
#8
It hasn't happened to me yet, but I've heard that someone has and it would be an interesting story if one of you guys have.
Have any of you ever encountered someone who only supported their own sexuality in the LGBTQ+ community but doesn't support any other sexuality in the LGBTQ+ community?
Final score:
15points
#9
Hey guys, I've been wondering for a while now, what's a good way to come out as a lesbian to a Christian household? Like, if others have come out in religious families, what worked really well for you?
Thanks for your time! :)
Final score:
15points
#10
This is more about self-discovery than anything, but what would it be called if Im only s3xually attracted to one gender but romantically attracted to every possible gender-? I'm rather new to this whole scene..
Final score:
13points
#11
Thank you for the opportunity to ask! I grew up in a part of the country where the default when you are interacting with someone you don't know, especially if it is in their professional capacity, is 'Thank you, sir' or 'Thank you, ma'am'. It's just automatic for me after 50 years, and I'm worried about accidentally misgendering someone. Is there a gender-neutral term that I can train myself into instead of sir or ma'am? Or do I just try to retrain myself into 'Thank you kindly'?
Final score:
13points
#12
those who are bisexual what made you realise that you were bi -a 11 yrs old girl from a messed family
Final score:
10points
#13
This might feel like a really awkward and stupid question but...
A lot of the people in our system use neopronouns and we want to know if it's actually valid or not? (Ex. One of our alters uses ghost/ghostself)
It feels weird to ask this but a lot of the people we've seen on the internet are divided on this (sorry if this was already asked!)
Final score:
9points
#14
This may be a strange question, but it’s for the gender-fluid people here; do you change your pronouns with your current gender or do you just use a certain pronoun all the time?
Also for aroaces, do you hear more support or hate? When I was originally identifying as aroace (I’m abro), I got a lot of hate for it, but some support. My dad told me that I’m just straight and will like boys soon, and I got told multiple times that it’s fake. Someone told me I sound like a trash can.
And feel free to ask me questions about abro and demigirls!
Final score:
8points
#15
ace pandas: how did y’all figure out you were asexual? I feel like I could be ace but idk if I’m actually asexual
Final score:
8points
#16
I'm LGBTQ+ myself and I have a question. (For context, I'm Omnisexual, which means I'm attracted to anyone.) How does it work when, for example, there's a straight couple but then one transitions. For the cis person, do their feelings just go away? Like I said, I'm Omni, so I don't understand this. :)
Final score:
8points
#17
Can you help me understand QPRs (queer platonic relationships)? I'm ace and demiromantic, so it feels like something I should get, but I don't. What's helped me most with it so far is someone who said people define it differently, like how people define friends vs. acquaintances differently, but I'd still like more answers if possible.
Final score:
8points
#18
Hey I'm still figuring out who/what I am I like everyone but some people say I'm pan and some say omni what's the difference. I'm kinda young I'm asking to figure myself out.
Final score:
7points
#19
I know this question will seem mean, but it's not, I'm genuinely curious. For people who identify as a gender other than male or female, how do you know you are that gender? Like, what does it feel like? Are there symptoms or something?
Final score:
7points
#20
I think we hear how it is to be LGBTQ+ most often from an US point of view.
So, how is it to be LGBTQ+ in other countries?
For example:
Germany
Poland
France
Spain
Norway
Sweden
Finland
India
Japan
Turkey
Nigeria
Kenia
Ghana
Brazil
Argentina
And others of course, just wanted to name a few.
Final score:
7points
#21
I read a profile where the person identifies as a non-binary lesbian. Which. How is this possible? I truly don’t mean to seem ignorant.
Doesn’t the subsequent lesbian aspect somewhat equate to recognising female gender identity as opposed to non-binary? Due to lesbianism being inherently girl-girl?
Final score:
6points
#22
No offense: but what is the point in “neo pronouns” or whatever it’s called. I understand she/her they/them or he/him. But Zey/zem? Why. Again no hate
Final score:
6points
#23
Sorry if this seems offensive, but why do people have pronouns she/them or they/his, ect? I know they/them is nonbinary and he/him is male and she/her is female, but what genders are the combos of he/them/ she/them ect? It is really confusing (Especially because I can barely remember peoples names, I cant be expected to remember someone's pronouns.
Final score:
6points
#24
I at the moment Identify as pan but I'm not sure if I am because I think I might like people of one gender more but I don't think I'm omni. How did you tell if you were pan or omni?
Final score:
6points
#25
A question for the bi pandas. When you are in a relationship with, say a girl. Do you miss sexual interaction with a man, and vice versa?
Final score:
6points
#26
If your gender fluid how do you know when your gender changes?
Final score:
5points
#27
I don't know if you guys can help me with this, but I feel like I'm agender. I don't have any preference of pronouns. He/She/They, it doesn't matter. People have asked me SO many times if I was a boy or girl (biologically a female), and I always answer, "Whatever you see me as, I don't care." My friend was confused when I told her it didn't offend me in the slightest, because in my mind, I just don't care. I haven't for years now and I don't know if not caring and not feeling like I have a gender makes me agender. Does it? I'm still super confused about this lol
Final score:
5points
#28
Would you include poly within the community? Does it make a difference if it’s a cis-hetero vs a cis-bisexual (for example?)
Because they don’t subscribe to normative morays etc.
The acronym is becoming so huge that pretty soon it could become one size fits all which defeats the original reason for it’s existence.
Originally it was a clear place of refuge for people, but now even the refuge is becoming murky with in-fighting and trying to say who does or does not belong.
Final score:
5points
#29
What is it called if I only sometimes feel sexual or romantic attraction depending on the week?
Final score:
5points
#30
LGBTQIA+ myself, why do people not really like xenogenders?
Final score:
5points
Red PANda (she/they) 1 year ago (edited)
I just don’t understand them. Like, you can like certain animals, aesthetics, or other stuff, but when does that become part of your gender and not just personality? Like, if I’m a dog person and I love dogs, am I like doggender or something? Or, if I’m really into entomology, am I buggender? I feel like xenogenders are the product of gender being a social construct and not really being real, and so technically people can make up whatever genders they want and now there’s infinite genders. Of course I will always call people by their preferred pronouns, even if I don’t understand them, but it all just seems unnecessarily complicated to me.
oddly_informed_raven 1 year ago
xenogenders are more of an analogy than identifying as the thing itself. Like, spacegender is described as being voidlike and never-ending
Load More Replies...
Blue_Mouse (queen) 1 year ago
No hate, but in some people’s eyes it’s weird. It’s complicated too. It gets hard to call every individual person by something different. People get mad when you don’t call them by their right pronouns. It just gets complicated my guy.
Markus He/It/E/Cloud/Ti 1 year ago
They're new (relatively) and difficult to understand. Society doesn't like new things! There's always some exclusionary lgbt discourse occurring and eventually the fuss will die down (mostly) but right now it's an invite for arguments. I use some xeno labels, they're not my main ones anymore, but I still find myself on edge sometimes talking about it because people don't like what they don't get, and I don't want to get into any fights.
A gay cat man (he/him&Tré/Trè) 1 year ago
as someone who goes by xe/xem and he/him, people are socialized to use they/them, she/her, and he/him. but xenogenders and xenopronouns are the kewlest thing ever, in my humble opinion.
aZZy_d3Lta (they/star/bun) (Submission author) 1 year ago
https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Xenogender
Load More Replies... #31
Less of a question more self questioning but, can somone help me figure out what my gender is. I need somone who knows more to help me firgure it out
Ok so. I want to use she they pronouns but want to be perceived as non binary. It’s almost like I want people to look at me and question what gender I am but i dont feel right using he him pronouns so would that just me she they or is there something I’m missing. Is that just gender dysphoria?
Also I’m a female at birth lesbian :)
Anyone have any idea what that gender would be.
Final score:
5points
#32
This is something I've wondered for a while now actually. What's the difference between Bisexual and Pansexual?
Final score:
4points
#33
if you are LGBTQIA+ does that automatically mean your not straight like is there some things that make you not straight and some that you can be and still be straight I have been wondering and don't really have anyone around me to ask
Final score:
4points
#34
I think I might be enby, but looking back on my childhood, I don’t see any “signs” of being enby. What counts as a “sign”? Is looking back on your childhood the only way to tell for sure?
Final score:
4points
#35
Can anyone point me to some good literature (academic or otherwise) on the evolutionary benefits of homosexuality and/or other aspects of LGBTQIA+?
I ask this from a genuinely curious place. Like, obviously y'all exist and are finally beginning to be able to safely and fully come out of the shadows, but how have these been passed along through the millennia if there wasn't some benefit to humanity as a whole.
Final score:
4points
#36
Hello, Nonbinary person here. Have you ever had the talk with your parent(s) or legal guardian about your gender identity and they say something along the lines of "I was non-binary all the way up until my late 20s before I decided I was a [gender]. I was born with the body of a [sex] and I was always a [gender]. Nonbinary isn't real and there is only man and woman. I have many transgender friends and NONE of them are nonbinary. It doesn't exist and you are just following a fad that is going around at school/work. It. Isn't. Real."
Is it just me or has anyone else had a similar conversation?
Final score:
4points
#38
What's the difference between pan and bi?
Final score:
2points
#39
Okay here is my question for lesbians and queers .How did you realize you were gay?
Final score:
2points
#40
I am apart of the LQBTQ+ and have started to learn/explore about the types of tertiary attraction. My question is: What is the difference between friends-with-benifits and a queerplatonic relationship?
I know there is some kind of difference. The idea of having friends-with-benifits is odd and not appealing for me, but I can see myself being in a queerplatonic relationship.
Final score:
2points
#41
aroace people what flag do you use the orange and blue one or one of the combination flags or a different one
Final score:
2points
#42
Hi! Just wondering, what does it mean to be Trans but straight?
Btw, I don't mean this to offend, just wondering!
Final score:
2points
#43
Okay so I need some advice... All this stuff is something I've been thinking about for a while and I'm tryna sort it all out lol so I thought why not ask here
(I'm cisgender hetero AFAB)
1. What's the difference between sexual and aesthetic attraction? I mean, people don't actually walk around, see someone hot, and go like, "Whoa, I want to you-know-what with them", do they? Because I definitely do find guys attractive but I've never thought that.
2. And the more I think about it, the more I'm like, I don't think I'll EVER think that. I'm not averse to you-know-what either, and if I was to have it, it would definitely have to be with a guy, but I'm not in any way attracted to the male... body?? It's kinda ick. So I don't know what's going on there. Like, it doesn't... I don't feel anything. Not anything positive, not anything negative, I just have no feelings whatsoever.
3. Guys are still hot, I'd want to be in a relationship, I'd want it to eventually include you-know-what, but... yeah.
So what is going on 💀
Final score:
2points
#44
y'know how everyone who's famous in the lgbtqia+ community get erased? barring a few who are very open or that have obvious gayness (queer eye).
what's y'all's opinion on it? i hate it, cuz one of my fave celebrities (billie joe Armstrong of green day) is seen as straight, even though he's bi.
Final score:
2points
#45
I would like to understand how being non binary feels. Thank you.
Final score:
2points
#46
Sorry if this has already been asked but if lets say you're a straight girl. You have a crush on a guy but then the guy comes out as trans and transitions to a girl. Are you still straight?
Final score:
2points
#47
I'm having trouble differentiating between types of attraction, and there are a lot of complications. In addition to the possibilities of aesthetic, romantic, platonic, and sexual, it might also be gender envy or just my attachment issues. Also, I have different feelings for several different people, and some people I have multiple kinds of feelings about, but I can't figure out whats what.
Final score:
2points
#48
Sometimes i feel like I might be bi. I've had romantic feelings for boys, but I feel like there's been times where I've liked girls. How exactly do I determine?
Final score:
2points
#50
I am apart of the LQBTQ+ and have started to learn/explore about the types of tertiary attraction. My question is: What is the difference between friends-with-benifits and a queerplatonic relationship?
I know there is some kind of difference. The idea of having friends-with-benifits is odd and not appealing for me, but I can see myself being in a queerplatonic relationship.
Final score:
1point
#51
What is it like being a Trans man? I am a woman currently (birth) and I don't know what it's like. I have no interest in being Trans but I am curious!
Final score:
1point
#52
So respectfully, I've been with a few boys but I want to know what "counts" as "bi". Do I have to be attracted to ALL men and ALL women, or JUST SOME, and what percentage, etc?
Final score:
1point
#53
For some reason, using the word 'queer' feels close to using the n-word for me, like it's a slur. I mean, I'm fine saying "Queer Eye For the Straight Guy" if talking about the show, but beyond that? It doesn't feel like it's interchangeable with
LGBTQ+ for me to describe someone. So, maybe people here can help me out... How do you (as people who identify as LGBTQ+) feel about straight, cis people using the word? My hair stylist is this awesome woman who is gay, and as we were chatting, she used the word when talking about how I needed to find the people where I live now that are 'othered.' I'm atheist, which may be even less accepted where I'm living now than people identifying as LGBTQ+ because the community hasn't been exposed to many people saying it, although it doesn't lead to quite as violent of reactions. So, I tried using 'queer' in my response as well, but it just felt WRONG coming out of my mouth. I haven't seen her in a few years thanks to the pandemic and my immune system making travel a bad idea, but I haven't forgotten that odd feeling.
And, if there is actually some difference between 'queer' and 'LGBTQ+', I'd love to know.
(I grew up in a backwards place, where I'm sure I heard use of the word 'queer' in the kinds of hateful tones you hear from homophobes. I definitely heard 'gay' used as an insult, too - "What are you, gay?!" - but am not bothered saying it. There's just something to the word 'queer' that makes me feel like I'm demeaning a person, which is never my intent. So, I just avoid the word altogether, like how synonyms are also words used instead of words you can't spell.)
Final score:
1point
#54
ok, i'm bi, but i've never heard the term enby. i'm so sorry if i accidentally offend someone, but it seems...new and unused? yet again, i'm sorry, i'm still quite new to the lgbtqia+ community, but i've never heard it.
kind regards, the cat overlord xoxo
Final score:
0points
#55
I have a question for the trans people out there:
How/why did you decide to change gender? How did you tell the people in your’re life?
Also, what does queer mean?
Final score:
0points
#56
For the non binary folks: how does your identity fluctuates ? When your gender evolves, how does it work, is it a feeling / urge? How does identifying as male vs female work for you, if it evolves over a week. What does feeling like a male / female work.
Genuine question, no hate, it's difficult for me to comprehend
Final score:
-3points
What do you think ?
Powerful Katrinka 1 year ago
This is a terrific conversation! I wish that this happened more frequently.
Marinasongs1432 (Post author) 1 year ago
Thanks! I’ll try to post these more often
Load More Replies...
My O My 1 year ago
I tried to keep up with all the different genders and sexual preferences for a while but to be honest, most of it I can't really grasp. Some things are easy for me to understand, you know the "old letters" of the LGBT movement so to say. The "newer" (as is now more common to talk about) things are difficult for me, maybe because I can't really imagine it and that's my way to understand things in life. I'd like to understand all of the community better but there is just nobody to ask who I know. O boy, all this probably sounds really weird when all I wanted to say was thank you for the opportunity to learn so much! Please excuse my awkward wording as I don't even know what/how I'm allowed to call things without making someone feel uncomfortable.
GhostlySnail (she/her) 1 year ago
It’s ok to not understand things! As long as you aren’t using it as an excuse to spread hate, it is perfectly understandable. And if you have any questions I know plenty of pandas who will be happily to answer them!
Load More Replies...
Pan princess ( She/They) 1 year ago
This was an amazing idea I don't know whose idea this was but whoever it was you're very smart.
Marinasongs1432 (Post author) 1 year ago
I'm sorry about that. Why don't you use an oc pride art Competition? I'll let you use a piece of my art penup_2023...57da2e.jpg 
Weird Panda 1 year ago
Didn’t get a chance to post on this so I’ll just ask here, is it wrong to know that I’m lesbian as a kid (I’m not disclosing my real age but it’s around 10)
Red PANda (she/they) 1 year ago (edited)
Not at all! Many people, especially homosexuals(gays and lesbians), realize that they are who they are pretty early on :D (for bisexuals and pansexuals and others, sometimes it takes a little more time since we like multiple genders, and so we might not realize we differ from the norm until we have a crush on someone the same gender or on a nonbinary) no matter what your age is, you’re allowed to have a sexuality and express it (although some people might disagree, looking at all the laws made in the southern states these days 😠) I realized I was pansexual a while ago, and I’m still in high school :D
Load More Replies... Markus He/It/E/Cloud/Ti 1 year ago
Hi, someone who uses some xenogender labels and neopronouns and is otherwise educated on them here! Yeah if you wanna ask questions, shoot. I'll do my best to answer them. I did this last year too. If you just wanna make fun of xenos/neos, move on, you're not funny and I don't have the patience to entertain you
Marinasongs1432 (Post author) 1 year ago
Hi, sorry, looks like weezy is at it again.
Load More Replies...
Pharmtechgurl 1 year ago
Thank you for this post! I have learned a lot! Especially #4. This has always been my biggest curiosity regarding LGBTQIA+ (hope I didn't miss anyone). I think I have a better understanding now. When I was growing up, it was always don't ask/don't tell. Things that went on between couples was private and not discussed. When people started coming out, I was confused because of this. Now I think I understand that EVERYONE wants to be seen. I get it.
DBear 1 year ago
I have numerous friends who are LQBTQ+. Not a single one of them uses that to describes themselves. They use traditional terms (Gay, Lesbian, etc.).
Dodo 1 year ago
LGBT+ is the umbrella term for the community. It's like saying 'Oh I'm Christian' but then you get into the different denominations; some people will just automatically go 'I'm a Baptist' or whatever.
Load More Replies...
Powerful Katrinka 1 year ago
This is a terrific conversation! I wish that this happened more frequently.
Marinasongs1432 (Post author) 1 year ago
Thanks! I’ll try to post these more often
Load More Replies... My O My 1 year ago
I tried to keep up with all the different genders and sexual preferences for a while but to be honest, most of it I can't really grasp. Some things are easy for me to understand, you know the "old letters" of the LGBT movement so to say. The "newer" (as is now more common to talk about) things are difficult for me, maybe because I can't really imagine it and that's my way to understand things in life. I'd like to understand all of the community better but there is just nobody to ask who I know. O boy, all this probably sounds really weird when all I wanted to say was thank you for the opportunity to learn so much! Please excuse my awkward wording as I don't even know what/how I'm allowed to call things without making someone feel uncomfortable.
GhostlySnail (she/her) 1 year ago
It’s ok to not understand things! As long as you aren’t using it as an excuse to spread hate, it is perfectly understandable. And if you have any questions I know plenty of pandas who will be happily to answer them!
Load More Replies... Pan princess ( She/They) 1 year ago
This was an amazing idea I don't know whose idea this was but whoever it was you're very smart.
Marinasongs1432 (Post author) 1 year ago
I'm sorry about that. Why don't you use an oc pride art Competition? I'll let you use a piece of my art penup_2023...57da2e.jpg
Weird Panda 1 year ago
Didn’t get a chance to post on this so I’ll just ask here, is it wrong to know that I’m lesbian as a kid (I’m not disclosing my real age but it’s around 10)
Red PANda (she/they) 1 year ago (edited)
Not at all! Many people, especially homosexuals(gays and lesbians), realize that they are who they are pretty early on :D (for bisexuals and pansexuals and others, sometimes it takes a little more time since we like multiple genders, and so we might not realize we differ from the norm until we have a crush on someone the same gender or on a nonbinary) no matter what your age is, you’re allowed to have a sexuality and express it (although some people might disagree, looking at all the laws made in the southern states these days 😠) I realized I was pansexual a while ago, and I’m still in high school :D
Load More Replies... Markus He/It/E/Cloud/Ti 1 year ago
Hi, someone who uses some xenogender labels and neopronouns and is otherwise educated on them here! Yeah if you wanna ask questions, shoot. I'll do my best to answer them. I did this last year too. If you just wanna make fun of xenos/neos, move on, you're not funny and I don't have the patience to entertain you
Marinasongs1432 (Post author) 1 year ago
Hi, sorry, looks like weezy is at it again.
Load More Replies... Pharmtechgurl 1 year ago
Thank you for this post! I have learned a lot! Especially #4. This has always been my biggest curiosity regarding LGBTQIA+ (hope I didn't miss anyone). I think I have a better understanding now. When I was growing up, it was always don't ask/don't tell. Things that went on between couples was private and not discussed. When people started coming out, I was confused because of this. Now I think I understand that EVERYONE wants to be seen. I get it.
DBear 1 year ago
I have numerous friends who are LQBTQ+. Not a single one of them uses that to describes themselves. They use traditional terms (Gay, Lesbian, etc.).
Dodo 1 year ago
LGBT+ is the umbrella term for the community. It's like saying 'Oh I'm Christian' but then you get into the different denominations; some people will just automatically go 'I'm a Baptist' or whatever.
Load More Replies...
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