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Hey Pandas, Ask A Question About LGBTQ+ And Allow Commenters To Answer It (Closed)

Be nice y’all. Please ask genuine questions and don’t be mean to others unless they’re a troll. Trolls will be reported and banned.

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Just wanted to say thank you for such a cool article. I have learned a lot.

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43points

Sarah Cahill

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GhostlySnail (she/her) 1 year ago

Same, this post makes me happy in several unexplainable ways

9points

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@Weezy, I have a message for you.

You have been reported, downvoted, and warned many times. You are making children, users, and people feel VERY bad with your God AWFUL transphobic comments, and your comments in general.

Stop. You need to stop. Keep your opinions about the LGBTQIAP+ community TO YOURSELF, and STFU.

Because the downvotes, warnings, and reports aren't working, I have asked Bored Panda to remove you. Some people think this is a step too far. I think it's just right. You are targeting people with your s****y comments and negative attitude. You have made me feel HORRIBLE about my gender and sexual identity. You have made US feel HORRIBLE because clearly, you have nothing better to do than target and cyberbully kids, teens, and users on the internet when they have done nothing to you.

I think you are immature, stupid, and reckless.

And to all the people out there who are feeling sad and horrible about @Weezy's comments, I urge you to take control. Just know, that there are people out there who support you, even if you don't know them. There are people who WILL help you, and not post transphobic comments.

And @Weezy, go to hell.

Sincerely,
Bluegal

Happy Pride Month, y'all!

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Final score:

42points

bluegal (they/them)

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Red PANda (she/they) 1 year ago (edited)

They’re most likely in a bad mental state and use BP and being a troll to take their anger and aggression out on us; or perhaps the fact that there are infinite genders is dizzying and scary to them. I honestly feel bad for them; clinging to their old beliefs because they’re afraid of change and these “newfangled ideas.” However, I am a very empathetic, nonjudgmental person that tends to see the best in everyone and give them the benefit of the doubt. Also, this doesn’t excuse their actions.

14points

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A question for the nonbinary (specifically non-intersex) people out there:
Do you experience something akin to gender dysphoria like many trans people do, but towards both sexes?
Or is it more of a feeling that your personality does not conform to society's view of either sex, so you decide to be your own gender? Do you think that would change if society's views on gender roles was different?

I hope that doesn't come off as mean, I just feel I understand trans people much more that nonbinary people (in the sense that my understanding of nonbinary people is lacking) and want to broaden my horizon.

Thanks for your time!

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26points

Charlotte Hue

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eame 1 year ago

For me, I was AFAB, grew up as a "tomboy" who believed they were a boy in the wrong body, back in the 70s/80s when it was NOT accepted/talked about; Today I would probably just be called Trans and transition. I spent the next 30 years trying to conform to society's expectations of what "womanhood" is, and now don't feel like I belong to either male or female. I'm too masculine to be "female" and too feminine to be "male" in any traditional sense. I don't feel like either. I don't identify with my body at all but the dysphoria comes and goes.

27points

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My teenage daughter has come out as bisexual. My response was that I didn't care who she dated so long as she was a good & decent human being, that she chose someone that was a good & decent human being, they both loved each other & treated each other well. How can I support her & not just tell her but actually show her that I'm supportive of her choices?

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Final score:

24points

Manic Mama

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D Constable 1 year ago

You already have. Coming out is one of the hardest things most LGBTQIA+ people do, after accepting who they are themselves. The thing is, we never stop coming out. Each new job or person we meet etc, we may have to come out all over again. She's shared with you something very hard and you've done what any decent human being would do which is show compassion and love. Showing support is a hard thing to do as it's individual to the person. For some it might be attending pride march with them, others it might be just being there to listen and talk. Best thing I cam advise is talk to your daughter and ask her if there is anything she wants support with, but just knowing you're there and are happy is most likely going to be more than enough

38points

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Hey everybody thanks for the chance to ask!

We all know the guy who says "I identify as an attack helicopter", and we'll, it's just eyeroll-worthy.

On the other hand, I have encountered people who consider themselves part of the LBGTQ+ community, but say/write they identify as an "android amazon" or a "happy samurai badger" or something like that. You yourself have probably seen more or less "weird" genders floating around as well.
Do you ever feel offended by such gender names? Do you feel as if you're not taken seriously, especially if you are non-binary yourself?
Do you fear such "humorous" genders may harm the community as a whole, as in "The LGBTQ+ people don't even take their genders seriously, so why should we?"

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Final score:

21points

Gregor

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eame 1 year ago

I do feel offended. Someone said their pronouns were "bun bun" (as in a furry) quite seriously, and that s**t drives me crazy because now nobody takes it seriously at all that some people experience a lot of gender dysphoria and yet don't want to undergo surgical or other biological changes for a variety of reasons, or may choose to be gender fluid, etc. and that is a lot more legit than a sexual preference for dressing up in animal costumes.

37points

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Hi. I'm sorry to say this, but I didn't know there was such thing as the LGBTQetc community until a few years ago(I don't pay attention to politics or social changes or whatever). I didn’t(still don't really)get how people can change their genders to whatever they want, because "they can be anything they want to be", or do it "because they feel like it". It makes no sense. I dont understand, but I'm trying to okay? My question is how you wake up one day and think "you know what, I like girls AND boys now"(or the other genders or preferences, you know them all). Anyway, I want to understand WHY, so I can learn to be more respectful and not be as judgemental(I was taught to treat people how I want to be treated, and I feel I haven't been doing that sometimes. I shouldn't judge someone I don't understand). People go through things, and I feel the Pride people get a lot of hate, which you don't deserve. So: *What made you want to change your gender, and why?* If this is a stupid question, don't get mad at me, I'm just curious.

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Final score:

19points

Rwby Couch

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freakingbee is going offline 1 year ago

it’s not so much as want to change as we are who we are, but like for me when i found out being nonbinary exists it made so much sense as to what i had been feeling my entire life

23points

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I think my only question would be for the trans folks that were in a relationship prior to transitioning. For example, a lesbian couple that has been in a relationship for some time and one of them decides to transition to male, including medical operations. Is the other non-trans lesbian partner still attracted to the other now that they are male?
Note: I may not be using the correct terminology, so forgive my ignorance if that’s the case.

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Final score:

16points

Pandapoo

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eame 1 year ago

Everyone is different. Most trans couples I know broke up, but some stayed together. I have a good friend who identifies as lesbian and has a hard time with knowing what terms to use around her trans-masc partner -- can she still call herself a lesbian without offending/ diminishing her partner's identity as a man? etc. It's so complicated.

33points

ShayXie 1 year ago

I dated a trans guy for 5 years, and then married another one (6yrs this Oct) - it was kind of emotional for me in both relationships as I adjusted to saying "boyfriend" and "husband" and the first time around, I did actually grieve my own queer visibility. It looked like I was walking around with a dude. Both guys were already out socially as trans when I met them, so I had a long chat with myself and ultimately decided that the person was so much more important than being immediately recognized as a lesbian. I struggled with my own label too, because staying a "lesbian" did feel like I was negating their hard emotional work. I walked around calling myself a transbian for awhile :) I'm not a feminine person, and I've never been attracted to feminine women, so the transitioning visuals aren't a downside. My husband was hairy pre-hormones, and now he's a cute lil bear :)

6points

les 1 year ago

I'm not trans but i have a lesbian couple as friends. One of them transitioned to male and they seem just as happy as they were before, but on the other hand i knew a guy that decided not to tell his family he was transitioning so wife and kids got to find out from a national newspaper. they were devastated at how he went about telling them and disowned him/her for it.

6points

Pandapoo (Submission author) 1 year ago

In the 2nd example, did they happen to be a city manager in Florida? That was quite the story here locally and I believe made national news. Felt bad for the wife and kid.

4points

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Donkey boi 1 year ago

I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to jump in on this with my opinion as straight male. If my wife, came to the decision to transition to a male, I can honestly say that I would still love her (or him as the case would be). At some point in the transition, I would more than likely loose the sexual attraction, and that is the point where I would need to re-evaluate the relationship. But I imagine some people would feel deceived, because the person that they loved was not really that person.

5points

Pandapoo (Submission author) 1 year ago

Thanks for your input. As a straight female, I would also still love the person, but would probably not be able to maintain the attraction and be able to stay in the relationship or I’d at least re-evaluate as you said.

2points

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Red PANda (she/they) 1 year ago

I’m pansexual, so that stuff doesn’t really matter to me :) I’ve had crushes on people that changed their gender multiple times, and I still liked them :P

4points

Kai 1 year ago

My partner accepted my change to male fine, but we are both bi. I feel that made it easier.

3points

LK 1 year ago

It totally depends on the people, and often how long they have been in a relationship. For some, it is a deal breaker. For others, they love, and are committed to their partner, and they will stay with them, and love them regardless. For yet others, they find them might be more on the bi- or pan-sexual side of things, and genitalia doesn't matter.

3points

Saturnian (He/They/It/Star) 1 year ago

Hi, as for the lesbian question the person can identify as homoromantic. Their boyfriend just being the only exception. I’m sorry but as a lesbian we aren’t attracted to men, it’s transphobic on the trans part because it diminishes their identity. As for the lesbians it allows straight men to harass lesbians because they believe we are attracted to men. This website helps clear everything up: https://sapphiclabels.carrd.co/#home

2points

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It hasn't happened to me yet, but I've heard that someone has and it would be an interesting story if one of you guys have.

Have any of you ever encountered someone who only supported their own sexuality in the LGBTQ+ community but doesn't support any other sexuality in the LGBTQ+ community?

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Final score:

15points

MaximumKarmaSaint

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LokisLilButterknife 1 year ago

Please see one of the posts above that asks where trans people and asexual should be part of the LGBTQIA+ community. Rhetoric like this truly terrifies me and is a form of gate-keeping. A community divided is a broken one. Everybody within the LGBTQIA+ community is going to have a different struggle. To say one sexuality or gender identity doesn't belong or is more worthy than another is flat-out cruel in my mind.

31points

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Hey guys, I've been wondering for a while now, what's a good way to come out as a lesbian to a Christian household? Like, if others have come out in religious families, what worked really well for you?

Thanks for your time! :)

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Final score:

15points

Mafia!

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FeatheredDragons 1 year ago

I come from a Christian household and am a panromantic asexual Christian myself. I've told my parents, and they are 100% supportive, they don't see it as a sin as it's not. God's love is unconditional. Humans are the ones who set the rules. If you feel comfortable telling them, sit them down and just talk. I was really lucky that my family has always been supportive, especially since so many aren't. God didn't want us to hate each other over things we can't change and it's disgusting that this still happens. If anyone's Christian and LGBTQ+ there's a website called hope remains that can help with any doubt about whether your life is sinful (it's not). God made us diverse and I am so sorry that my religion has been used to hurt so many people over the years. Best wishes for you and your family.

23points

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#10

This is more about self-discovery than anything, but what would it be called if Im only s3xually attracted to one gender but romantically attracted to every possible gender-? I'm rather new to this whole scene..

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Final score:

13points

Caligo(he/they)

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LokisLilButterknife 1 year ago

Some people may refer to this as a panromantic monosexual or a panromantic demisexual (demisexual is someone who experiences sexual attraction only in specific circumstances). Take time to explore and learn! You do not have to have your identity figured out it one day.

26points

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#11

Thank you for the opportunity to ask! I grew up in a part of the country where the default when you are interacting with someone you don't know, especially if it is in their professional capacity, is 'Thank you, sir' or 'Thank you, ma'am'. It's just automatic for me after 50 years, and I'm worried about accidentally misgendering someone. Is there a gender-neutral term that I can train myself into instead of sir or ma'am? Or do I just try to retrain myself into 'Thank you kindly'?

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Final score:

13points

Random Okapi

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Pandapoo 1 year ago

If not sure, I would just stick to “Thank you”.

30points

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#12

those who are bisexual what made you realise that you were bi -a 11 yrs old girl from a messed family

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Final score:

10points

13@swiftie

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Wise Turtle 1 year ago

For me, I didn’t exactly have a lightbulb moment that said “I’m bi”, I just always had crushes on both boys and girls. When I realised there was a word for it, I was like “ah it has a name”

2points

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#13

This might feel like a really awkward and stupid question but...

A lot of the people in our system use neopronouns and we want to know if it's actually valid or not? (Ex. One of our alters uses ghost/ghostself)

It feels weird to ask this but a lot of the people we've seen on the internet are divided on this (sorry if this was already asked!)

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Final score:

9points

Iris

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Quinn Donovan 1 year ago

I have difficulty with neopronouns. I am agender, but of the kind that really doesn't care how you refer to me. I am always very happy though when I can confused with a man and get to hear he/him pronouns, and I would be very happy with "them". But I live in a german speaking region, where most neutral pronouns don't sound natural? Not lik "them", I like "them". People I know use "them" is german as well, just germanised so that it doesn't stand out. I don't mind that, but I have difficulties with getting used to self-created pronouns - I just stumble over them and they don't sound natural. I think different genders should be natural and not worth any thought, and using pronouns that I have to consciously think about because they are out of the norm destroys that normalcy for me.

13points

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#14

This may be a strange question, but it’s for the gender-fluid people here; do you change your pronouns with your current gender or do you just use a certain pronoun all the time?

Also for aroaces, do you hear more support or hate? When I was originally identifying as aroace (I’m abro), I got a lot of hate for it, but some support. My dad told me that I’m just straight and will like boys soon, and I got told multiple times that it’s fake. Someone told me I sound like a trash can.

And feel free to ask me questions about abro and demigirls!

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Final score:

8points

Marinasongs1432

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Gregor 1 year ago

ACE here. Honestly I get neither hate nor support, but mostly apathy. I think it has to do with me being male - there's much more pressure on women to do their part in carrying on the human race or something. As an ACE male, I'm probably just another loser who won't ever get a woman and that's it. Whether I want to have a relationship or not is irrelevant.

18points

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#15

ace pandas: how did y’all figure out you were asexual? I feel like I could be ace but idk if I’m actually asexual

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8points

PattonPawter

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MaximumKarmaSaint 1 year ago

Aroace here: I was already aromantic but then I found out a bit later that that doesn't automatically make you asexual as well, I don't love anyone romantically or sexually and never really have.

11points

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#16

I'm LGBTQ+ myself and I have a question. (For context, I'm Omnisexual, which means I'm attracted to anyone.) How does it work when, for example, there's a straight couple but then one transitions. For the cis person, do their feelings just go away? Like I said, I'm Omni, so I don't understand this. :)

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8points

BananaMonkey(she/they)

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MaximumKarmaSaint 1 year ago

I feel like they wouldn't completely, but they would lose romantic interest in them.

8points

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#17

Can you help me understand QPRs (queer platonic relationships)? I'm ace and demiromantic, so it feels like something I should get, but I don't. What's helped me most with it so far is someone who said people define it differently, like how people define friends vs. acquaintances differently, but I'd still like more answers if possible.

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8points

Chicken Nugget

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mysterious(all pronouns) 1 year ago

I think it would be typically defined as friendship that tends to go much deeper than what is considered normal, although it differs for different people.

7points

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#18

Hey I'm still figuring out who/what I am I like everyone but some people say I'm pan and some say omni what's the difference. I'm kinda young I'm asking to figure myself out.

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7points

Deppressedboo (gender fluid)

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Pan princess ( She/Them) 1 year ago

Pan is someone who is attracted to any gender without a preference and Omni is someone who is attracted to all genders but has a preference. But you can loosely identify with one of them like I loosely identify as pansexual because I do think that I have a Preference for the gender I like. However I do choose to identify as Pan

10points

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#19

I know this question will seem mean, but it's not, I'm genuinely curious. For people who identify as a gender other than male or female, how do you know you are that gender? Like, what does it feel like? Are there symptoms or something?

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Final score:

7points

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

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D Constable 1 year ago (edited)

I don't have the answer as I'm cis gender, however I would avoid using the word symptoms as it comes across as it being an illness and could be offensive. I know you didn't mean it that way and this isn't an attack, just a friendly suggestion to show being more of an ally or understanding person.

14points

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#20

I think we hear how it is to be LGBTQ+ most often from an US point of view.

So, how is it to be LGBTQ+ in other countries?

For example:
Germany
Poland
France
Spain
Norway
Sweden
Finland
India
Japan
Turkey
Nigeria
Kenia
Ghana
Brazil
Argentina

And others of course, just wanted to name a few.

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Final score:

7points

Nitka Tsar

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tom qwerty 1 year ago

i live in ireland, it is actually fine here, there is a few homophobes, and a few idiots in my class use the word as an insult, my friend used it as an insult but stopped when i came out to him. the only place i feel a lot of homophobia is on the internet namely anonomous platforms such as reddit and youtube. i have tried to stop using social media because of that.

7points

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#21

I read a profile where the person identifies as a non-binary lesbian. Which. How is this possible? I truly don’t mean to seem ignorant.

Doesn’t the subsequent lesbian aspect somewhat equate to recognising female gender identity as opposed to non-binary? Due to lesbianism being inherently girl-girl?

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Final score:

6points

Doodles1983

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crowspectre (he/they) 1 year ago

That means that they're probably more fem-oriented in terms of gender, but they still identify as lesbian. If they were neutral oriented in terms of gender, that'd be trixic

16points

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#22

No offense: but what is the point in “neo pronouns” or whatever it’s called. I understand she/her they/them or he/him. But Zey/zem? Why. Again no hate

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Final score:

6points

Blue_Mouse (is gone!)

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That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 1 year ago

I *think* you found my neopronouns confusing, and that's absolutely fine! So basically, neopronouns are like nonbinary pronouns but for ppl who don't feel like they want to use the they/them pronouns or traditional ones. You can make up whatever ones you want. I get a lot of ppl getting confused about this but it's absolutely fine bcs not many ppl have heard about neopronouns, glad I could answer your question :):):):)

5points

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#23

Sorry if this seems offensive, but why do people have pronouns she/them or they/his, ect? I know they/them is nonbinary and he/him is male and she/her is female, but what genders are the combos of he/them/ she/them ect? It is really confusing (Especially because I can barely remember peoples names, I cant be expected to remember someone's pronouns.

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Final score:

6points

TheElementalGod️️ (He/him)

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ShayXie 1 year ago

I like she/they/him because it makes me feel seen. You're acknowledging my otherness. Just she/her (and for awhile he/him) keeps me trapped and choking. As soon as I asked for people to use a variety of pronouns for me, I felt very safe and comfortable. If you are my friend and unwilling to do this for me, I question your intentions toward my well-being.

6points

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#24

I at the moment Identify as pan but I'm not sure if I am because I think I might like people of one gender more but I don't think I'm omni. How did you tell if you were pan or omni?

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6points

Pan princess ( She/They)

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Kieran N 1 year ago

You can be pan (or bi or omni) and still have a preference! I'm more attracted to fem people than masc people but I'm still bi

3points

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#25

A question for the bi pandas. When you are in a relationship with, say a girl. Do you miss sexual interaction with a man, and vice versa?

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Final score:

6points

My O My

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A gay cat man (he/him&Tré/Trè) 1 year ago

ace/bi here, i prefer men, but sometimes am romantically attracted to feminine men and enbies. also, women are kewl, I just don't feel romantically attracted to them as often as men.

3points

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#26

If your gender fluid how do you know when your gender changes?

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5points

The wee giant

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Jacin Larkwell 1 year ago

I use a shirt as an example when explaining it. Sometimes I wake up, and everything feels right, like that comfortable, worn shirt that you have to wear around for work around the house because it's too worn and loved to wear in public. Other times I wake up and it all is just... wrong. Like that silly shirt that is too tight, and doesn't fit right and you just shove it away in the closet where you don't have to look at it again. Thats how I feel and how I decide which way to introduce myself if the situation arises. Does She feel comfortable and right, or does He? If I introduce myself as She, am I going to inwardly recoil because it feels wrong?

17points

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#27

I don't know if you guys can help me with this, but I feel like I'm agender. I don't have any preference of pronouns. He/She/They, it doesn't matter. People have asked me SO many times if I was a boy or girl (biologically a female), and I always answer, "Whatever you see me as, I don't care." My friend was confused when I told her it didn't offend me in the slightest, because in my mind, I just don't care. I haven't for years now and I don't know if not caring and not feeling like I have a gender makes me agender. Does it? I'm still super confused about this lol

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Final score:

5points

Marcy Wu

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A Wild Bean (they/them/any) 1 year ago

Use whatever term you feel best describes you, but this reminded me of the term "gender apathetic" (there are a few other words for it iirc) which describes someone who feels neutral towards their gender and how it is perceived

8points

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#28

Would you include poly within the community? Does it make a difference if it’s a cis-hetero vs a cis-bisexual (for example?)

Because they don’t subscribe to normative morays etc.

The acronym is becoming so huge that pretty soon it could become one size fits all which defeats the original reason for it’s existence.

Originally it was a clear place of refuge for people, but now even the refuge is becoming murky with in-fighting and trying to say who does or does not belong.

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Final score:

5points

Doodles1983

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Jacin Larkwell 1 year ago

I include it, but I see the community as encompassing identities that not automatically assumed upon first impression. You don't need to come out as straight, or cisgendered, because they're automatically assumed. I've seen it explained better than what i was able to explain, apologies if it doesn’t make much sense

5points

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#29

What is it called if I only sometimes feel sexual or romantic attraction depending on the week?

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5points

Bob Bobson McBobford

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Strawberry 1 year ago

That is ok and normal. You might be abrosexual, which means that your sexuality can change over time. some days you might feel certain attraction to other people, some days none, some days to all, and so on. this sexuality is very common and i hope this helps. you also may be asexual, which means you don’t feel sexual attraction. :)

10points

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#30

LGBTQIA+ myself, why do people not really like xenogenders?

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5points

aZZy_d3Lta (they/star/bun)

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Red PANda (she/they) 1 year ago (edited)

I just don’t understand them. Like, you can like certain animals, aesthetics, or other stuff, but when does that become part of your gender and not just personality? Like, if I’m a dog person and I love dogs, am I like doggender or something? Or, if I’m really into entomology, am I buggender? I feel like xenogenders are the product of gender being a social construct and not really being real, and so technically people can make up whatever genders they want and now there’s infinite genders. Of course I will always call people by their preferred pronouns, even if I don’t understand them, but it all just seems unnecessarily complicated to me.

4points

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#31

Less of a question more self questioning but, can somone help me figure out what my gender is. I need somone who knows more to help me firgure it out

Ok so. I want to use she they pronouns but want to be perceived as non binary. It’s almost like I want people to look at me and question what gender I am but i dont feel right using he him pronouns so would that just me she they or is there something I’m missing. Is that just gender dysphoria?

Also I’m a female at birth lesbian :)

Anyone have any idea what that gender would be.

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5points

Gay child

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twilight (he/they) 1 year ago

Well, if you want to be perceived as non-binary, then it would be non-binary. You can have pronouns that don’t necessarily correspond with your gender (stereotypically).

4points

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#32

This is something I've wondered for a while now actually. What's the difference between Bisexual and Pansexual?

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4points

Hotdogking

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Stardust she/her 1 year ago

Bisexual is like you’re attracted to 2 or more genders but you have a sort of preference like for example you prefer women over men but you’re still attracted to both. Pansexual is like you don’t care what gender someone is, you still want to date them. I saw a comic somewhere where a pan person hit on who they thought was a woman but he turned around and said he was a femboy to stop the advances and the pan character said “does it really matter?”

18points

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#33

if you are LGBTQIA+ does that automatically mean your not straight like is there some things that make you not straight and some that you can be and still be straight I have been wondering and don't really have anyone around me to ask

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4points

Dinosaur

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Sky Render 1 year ago

It is entirely possible to be straight and still part of the spectrum, as it includes gender identities and also intersex.

13points

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#34

I think I might be enby, but looking back on my childhood, I don’t see any “signs” of being enby. What counts as a “sign”? Is looking back on your childhood the only way to tell for sure?

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Final score:

4points

GenderGander

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Dodo 1 year ago

I was in my late 20s before I realised I was enby. When I look back now... well, I was a tomboy. Age 2, I was playing more with boys than girls. My mother has always told me I wasn't ladylike enough. And all of these things can also happen to cis women, so it really isn't a slam dunk situation. For me, it just feels like if you get a huge group and sort them into men/women, then I don't fit in either group. I should also note three things: 1) my best friend knew I was nonbinary before I did (she's trans); 2) I was friends with a trans guy who called me his 'little egg child' (i.e. he figured I was in the process of becoming trans); 3) in my all-girls high school I was voted most likely to have a sex change. So basically it's possible other people know even if you don't.

5points

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#35

Can anyone point me to some good literature (academic or otherwise) on the evolutionary benefits of homosexuality and/or other aspects of LGBTQIA+?

I ask this from a genuinely curious place. Like, obviously y'all exist and are finally beginning to be able to safely and fully come out of the shadows, but how have these been passed along through the millennia if there wasn't some benefit to humanity as a whole.

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Final score:

4points

LooseSeal's $10 Banana

POST

A gay cat man (he/him&Tré/Trè) 1 year ago

"[god] sent the gays to fix overpopulation, boy did that go well" -bo burnham

6points

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#36

Hello, Nonbinary person here. Have you ever had the talk with your parent(s) or legal guardian about your gender identity and they say something along the lines of "I was non-binary all the way up until my late 20s before I decided I was a [gender]. I was born with the body of a [sex] and I was always a [gender]. Nonbinary isn't real and there is only man and woman. I have many transgender friends and NONE of them are nonbinary. It doesn't exist and you are just following a fad that is going around at school/work. It. Isn't. Real."

Is it just me or has anyone else had a similar conversation?

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Final score:

4points

Phoenix(or nix)they/them

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Phoenix(or nix)they/them (Submission author) 1 year ago

No, weezy, it's really not. It seems like you're the one who needs to wake up at some point. You clearly haven't learned that there are people like me who exist and existed before my time and will exist long after I am gone. Take time to learn and think about what you are going to comment before you do it. LEARN FROM THIS EXPERIENCE!

4points

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#37

Do you ever regret telling people?

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Final score:

3points

Okie (she/her)

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DJay 1 year ago

Yes, I was fully outed before I wanted to be because the person I confided in betrayed my trust.

1point

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#38

What's the difference between pan and bi?

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Final score:

2points

TheElementalGod️️ (He/him)

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Butters Stotch 1 year ago

so bi is like latin or greek or sth, idk but bi means two, just like bicycle, cuz it has two wheels, so bisexual means u like both men and women, two genders, pan on the other hand, is some other language and it means all, so pansexual means u like all genders, typically because gender isn't something that matters to u!

3points

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#39

Okay here is my question for lesbians and queers .How did you realize you were gay?

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Final score:

2points

Mexican🇲🇽Frog

POST

Queer Panda 1 year ago

Personally, I don't really know. I like watching and being around people of my gender. When I do, they have aestheticly pleasing looks and are really cute.

5points

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#40

I am apart of the LQBTQ+ and have started to learn/explore about the types of tertiary attraction. My question is: What is the difference between friends-with-benifits and a queerplatonic relationship?

I know there is some kind of difference. The idea of having friends-with-benifits is odd and not appealing for me, but I can see myself being in a queerplatonic relationship.

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Final score:

2points

Queer Panda

POST

Queer Panda (Submission author) 1 year ago

This ended up being a repeat of the one above I put. It has the same wording.

2points

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#41

aroace people what flag do you use the orange and blue one or one of the combination flags or a different one

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Final score:

2points

Aroace Panda

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mysterious(all pronouns) 1 year ago

I like the orange and blue flag, but that's just cause I think the colors are pretty, it's a matter preference, and they all work fine.

3points

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#42

Hi! Just wondering, what does it mean to be Trans but straight?
Btw, I don't mean this to offend, just wondering!

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Final score:

2points

LemmeProcrastinateThis

POST

Phoenix(or nix)they/them 1 year ago

It means you are the opposite birth gender and you are attracted to the gender you used to be. Basically, some of those people would realize they like the same sex pre-transition and still like that gender after the person transitions to the opposite gender. Let me know if you want a different explanation.

7points

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#43

Okay so I need some advice... All this stuff is something I've been thinking about for a while and I'm tryna sort it all out lol so I thought why not ask here

(I'm cisgender hetero AFAB)

1. What's the difference between sexual and aesthetic attraction? I mean, people don't actually walk around, see someone hot, and go like, "Whoa, I want to you-know-what with them", do they? Because I definitely do find guys attractive but I've never thought that.

2. And the more I think about it, the more I'm like, I don't think I'll EVER think that. I'm not averse to you-know-what either, and if I was to have it, it would definitely have to be with a guy, but I'm not in any way attracted to the male... body?? It's kinda ick. So I don't know what's going on there. Like, it doesn't... I don't feel anything. Not anything positive, not anything negative, I just have no feelings whatsoever.

3. Guys are still hot, I'd want to be in a relationship, I'd want it to eventually include you-know-what, but... yeah.

So what is going on 💀

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Final score:

2points

Tuesday is going offline

POST

DJay 1 year ago

Sounds live you could be asexual hetroromantic. You have little to no interest in sex or find the idea if sex ick, but are romantically interested in the opposite gender. Being asexual doesn't mean you don't ever have sex, there are plenty of asexual people who have sex, just very very rarely. Have a read of the page here for more information https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Asexual

5points

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#44

y'know how everyone who's famous in the lgbtqia+ community get erased? barring a few who are very open or that have obvious gayness (queer eye).
what's y'all's opinion on it? i hate it, cuz one of my fave celebrities (billie joe Armstrong of green day) is seen as straight, even though he's bi.

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Final score:

2points

Invisigoth (xe/xem)

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Markus He/It/E/Cloud/Ti 1 year ago

Ah yes, good old erasure /sarcasm. It's annoying as heck, especially with individuals that have been very open about it

3points

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#45

I would like to understand how being non binary feels. Thank you.

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2points

Rens

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Dodo 1 year ago

Imagine standing in the middle of a room. There's a group of guys on one side, and a group of girls on the other. You're not sure which you're supposed to join because you don't perfectly relate to either 100% of the time. Society wants to push you to one of the sides, mostly the one that matches your genitals, and they think you're just trying to get attention when what you really want is to just be yourself.

4points

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#46

Sorry if this has already been asked but if lets say you're a straight girl. You have a crush on a guy but then the guy comes out as trans and transitions to a girl. Are you still straight?

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2points

Acadia

POST

Tyler 1 year ago

it depends on if you still have the same feelings for her

4points

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#47

I'm having trouble differentiating between types of attraction, and there are a lot of complications. In addition to the possibilities of aesthetic, romantic, platonic, and sexual, it might also be gender envy or just my attachment issues. Also, I have different feelings for several different people, and some people I have multiple kinds of feelings about, but I can't figure out whats what.

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Final score:

2points

Tyler

POST

lucy dale 1 year ago

i cant really help out on the romantic/sexual attraction, but for me aesthetic attraction is just the combination of certain characteristics that appeals to you/thinking someone is particularly pretty, and platonic attraction is like, wanting to get and be close to someone but without the romance/sex

0points

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#48

Sometimes i feel like I might be bi. I've had romantic feelings for boys, but I feel like there's been times where I've liked girls. How exactly do I determine?

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2points

Cloudy

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Marinasongs1432 1 year ago

I guess it's in your heart... did you feel like it was the same as liking Boys? Just let your heart guide you on this one, it'll tell you the truth along.

1point

#49

why is there so many parts?

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Final score:

1point

marcy

POST

Sky Render 1 year ago

I assume you want to know why we have so many letters. It's because sex, sexual preference, and gender are all much more complex than the simple "man or woman" dichotomy that dominates Western culture.

12points

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#50

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1point

Queer Panda

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mysterious(all pronouns) 1 year ago

Friends-With-Benefits is typically a friendship with sexual elements, and a Queer Platonic Relationship would be somewhere close to a friendship and a romance, with elements taken from both.

2points

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#51

What is it like being a Trans man? I am a woman currently (birth) and I don't know what it's like. I have no interest in being Trans but I am curious!

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Final score:

1point

Hi_im_a_doge (she/her)

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crowspectre (he/they) 1 year ago

Painful and I wish I wasn't trans, especially with all of the constant transphobia around me. I've internalized a lot of it and it's made my mental health even worse. It's not all bad, though. Sometimes around my particularly supportive cis friends I forget that I'm trans and they've said they do too. I'm pretty tall and if I try, I pass as cis, but I don't care that much usually. People don't misgender me because I look like a girl, they misgender me because they want to attack me. Being trans is nice cause I have a perspective on gender that a lot of people don't have and it makes me understand human psychology better. I'm also in choir and I have a huge range for my choir (soprano-high tenor) and I really love my voice, it doesn't give me any dysphoria when I'm singing. All in all, it's mostly like being a cis man but with titties and transphobia

4points

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#52

So respectfully, I've been with a few boys but I want to know what "counts" as "bi". Do I have to be attracted to ALL men and ALL women, or JUST SOME, and what percentage, etc?

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Final score:

1point

censorshipsucks

POST

Dodo 1 year ago

If you feel like you could be intimate with a woman or a man, you're bi. Nobody is attracted to every single person on Earth so you just have to figure out your preferences.

4points

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#53

For some reason, using the word 'queer' feels close to using the n-word for me, like it's a slur. I mean, I'm fine saying "Queer Eye For the Straight Guy" if talking about the show, but beyond that? It doesn't feel like it's interchangeable with
LGBTQ+ for me to describe someone. So, maybe people here can help me out... How do you (as people who identify as LGBTQ+) feel about straight, cis people using the word? My hair stylist is this awesome woman who is gay, and as we were chatting, she used the word when talking about how I needed to find the people where I live now that are 'othered.' I'm atheist, which may be even less accepted where I'm living now than people identifying as LGBTQ+ because the community hasn't been exposed to many people saying it, although it doesn't lead to quite as violent of reactions. So, I tried using 'queer' in my response as well, but it just felt WRONG coming out of my mouth. I haven't seen her in a few years thanks to the pandemic and my immune system making travel a bad idea, but I haven't forgotten that odd feeling.

And, if there is actually some difference between 'queer' and 'LGBTQ+', I'd love to know.

(I grew up in a backwards place, where I'm sure I heard use of the word 'queer' in the kinds of hateful tones you hear from homophobes. I definitely heard 'gay' used as an insult, too - "What are you, gay?!" - but am not bothered saying it. There's just something to the word 'queer' that makes me feel like I'm demeaning a person, which is never my intent. So, I just avoid the word altogether, like how synonyms are also words used instead of words you can't spell.)

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Final score:

1point

Sarah

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raccoon boy 1 year ago

queer is totally not a bad word, unless ofc its being used in a derogatory way. i use the term queer to refer to myself as i feel like it's more loose and defines me better than gay/bisexual ever could. and its perfectly fine to say 'the queer community' instead of 'LGBTQIA+' community. just my opinion, obviously i cant speak for the whole community but hope this helped!

3points

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#54

ok, i'm bi, but i've never heard the term enby. i'm so sorry if i accidentally offend someone, but it seems...new and unused? yet again, i'm sorry, i'm still quite new to the lgbtqia+ community, but i've never heard it.

kind regards, the cat overlord xoxo

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0points

the leopard gecko overlord

POST

Wise Turtle 1 year ago

When you say it, it’s pronounced like NB which stands for non binary in this case. Basically a spelled out abbreviation

1point

#55

I have a question for the trans people out there:
How/why did you decide to change gender? How did you tell the people in your’re life?

Also, what does queer mean?

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0points

Luminite 彡

POST

Percabeth Forever (she/they) 1 year ago

Queer is the umbrella term for all LGBTQIAP+ people, at least that's what I've learned

4points

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#56

For the non binary folks: how does your identity fluctuates ? When your gender evolves, how does it work, is it a feeling / urge? How does identifying as male vs female work for you, if it evolves over a week. What does feeling like a male / female work.
Genuine question, no hate, it's difficult for me to comprehend

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Final score:

-3points

May

POST

Sora Desu 1 year ago

I’m NB and I wouldn’t say it fluctuates at all. I am me and I just want to exist despite not feeling like either male or female. For me neither of those genders felt right, I felt in the outside but now I have a place and a name to how I feel

2points

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#57

This submission is hidden. Click here to view.

#57

Wanna go on a date?

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-7points

UsingTheMaxThirtyCharactersLol

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censorshipsucks 1 year ago

try tinder, grindr, etc?

4points

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Okay y’all, my account is being moved to a new account. My alternative account is now my main. This account will be deleted as this is on my school email, and I graduated. It’s the same name.

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Okay y’all, my account is being moved to a new account. My alternative account is now my main. This account will be deleted as this is on my school email, and I graduated. It’s the same name.

Read less »

Hey there, Pandas! My name is Diana (though some prefer to refer to me as Diane, Deanna, and even Liana sometimes), and I am a Community Post Moderator Lead for Bored Panda. As my position title states, I am one of the people (employed Pandas for bamboo) over here who work with the community side of things on this website to ensure all is well, and while at that, I also help various creators and artists get recognition for the incredible work they do by connecting them to a large worldwide audience. Other than that, outside of work, you can find me brewing a nice cup of coffee, making a pizza from scratch, or baking brownies. I also love traveling, concerts, and cats (heavy on that, because I am a cat mom).

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What do you think ?

POST

Powerful Katrinka 1 year ago

This is a terrific conversation! I wish that this happened more frequently.

12points

Marinasongs1432 (Post author) 1 year ago

Thanks! I’ll try to post these more often

13points

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J 1 year ago

I love this idea!

9points

GhostlySnail (she/her) 1 year ago

Happy pride month pandas!

6points

My O My 1 year ago

I tried to keep up with all the different genders and sexual preferences for a while but to be honest, most of it I can't really grasp. Some things are easy for me to understand, you know the "old letters" of the LGBT movement so to say. The "newer" (as is now more common to talk about) things are difficult for me, maybe because I can't really imagine it and that's my way to understand things in life. I'd like to understand all of the community better but there is just nobody to ask who I know. O boy, all this probably sounds really weird when all I wanted to say was thank you for the opportunity to learn so much! Please excuse my awkward wording as I don't even know what/how I'm allowed to call things without making someone feel uncomfortable.

5points

GhostlySnail (she/her) 1 year ago

It’s ok to not understand things! As long as you aren’t using it as an excuse to spread hate, it is perfectly understandable. And if you have any questions I know plenty of pandas who will be happily to answer them!

6points

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CanaDan 1 year ago

Personally, I feel Weezy is a closet gay who doesn't want to accept their feelings and brings it out on everyone else

4points

Pan princess ( She/They) 1 year ago

This was an amazing idea I don't know whose idea this was but whoever it was you're very smart.

4points

That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 1 year ago

It was @Marinasongs1432

3points

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crowspectre (he/they) 1 year ago

Aghhh you stole my post idea ):<

4points

Marinasongs1432 (Post author) 1 year ago

I'm sorry about that. Why don't you use an oc pride art Competition? I'll let you use a piece of my art penup_2023...57da2e.jpg

6points

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twilight (he/they) 1 year ago

Happy pride month guys!🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

2points

Marinasongs1432 (Post author) 1 year ago

Yeah! You too!

1point

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Weird Panda 1 year ago

Didn’t get a chance to post on this so I’ll just ask here, is it wrong to know that I’m lesbian as a kid (I’m not disclosing my real age but it’s around 10)

1point

Red PANda (she/they) 1 year ago (edited)

Not at all! Many people, especially homosexuals(gays and lesbians), realize that they are who they are pretty early on :D (for bisexuals and pansexuals and others, sometimes it takes a little more time since we like multiple genders, and so we might not realize we differ from the norm until we have a crush on someone the same gender or on a nonbinary) no matter what your age is, you’re allowed to have a sexuality and express it (although some people might disagree, looking at all the laws made in the southern states these days 😠) I realized I was pansexual a while ago, and I’m still in high school :D

1point

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Markus He/It/E/Cloud/Ti 1 year ago

Hi, someone who uses some xenogender labels and neopronouns and is otherwise educated on them here! Yeah if you wanna ask questions, shoot. I'll do my best to answer them. I did this last year too. If you just wanna make fun of xenos/neos, move on, you're not funny and I don't have the patience to entertain you

1point

Marinasongs1432 (Post author) 1 year ago

Hi, sorry, looks like weezy is at it again.

2points

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tom qwerty 1 year ago

I just realised i was gay a few months beforethis

1point

Pharmtechgurl 1 year ago

Thank you for this post! I have learned a lot! Especially #4. This has always been my biggest curiosity regarding LGBTQIA+ (hope I didn't miss anyone). I think I have a better understanding now. When I was growing up, it was always don't ask/don't tell. Things that went on between couples was private and not discussed. When people started coming out, I was confused because of this. Now I think I understand that EVERYONE wants to be seen. I get it.

1point

DBear 1 year ago

I have numerous friends who are LQBTQ+. Not a single one of them uses that to describes themselves. They use traditional terms (Gay, Lesbian, etc.).

1point

Dodo 1 year ago

LGBT+ is the umbrella term for the community. It's like saying 'Oh I'm Christian' but then you get into the different denominations; some people will just automatically go 'I'm a Baptist' or whatever.

1point

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POST

Powerful Katrinka 1 year ago

This is a terrific conversation! I wish that this happened more frequently.

12points

Marinasongs1432 (Post author) 1 year ago

Thanks! I’ll try to post these more often

13points

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J 1 year ago

I love this idea!

9points

GhostlySnail (she/her) 1 year ago

Happy pride month pandas!

6points

My O My 1 year ago

5points

GhostlySnail (she/her) 1 year ago

6points

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CanaDan 1 year ago

Personally, I feel Weezy is a closet gay who doesn't want to accept their feelings and brings it out on everyone else

4points

Pan princess ( She/They) 1 year ago

This was an amazing idea I don't know whose idea this was but whoever it was you're very smart.

4points

That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 1 year ago

It was @Marinasongs1432

3points

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crowspectre (he/they) 1 year ago

Aghhh you stole my post idea ):<

4points

Marinasongs1432 (Post author) 1 year ago

I'm sorry about that. Why don't you use an oc pride art Competition? I'll let you use a piece of my art penup_2023...57da2e.jpg

6points

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twilight (he/they) 1 year ago

Happy pride month guys!🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

2points

Marinasongs1432 (Post author) 1 year ago

Yeah! You too!

1point

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Weird Panda 1 year ago

Didn’t get a chance to post on this so I’ll just ask here, is it wrong to know that I’m lesbian as a kid (I’m not disclosing my real age but it’s around 10)

1point