Hey Pandas, I often make self-deprecating jokes about my appearance and my friends say I'm fishing for compliments. They call me annoying and say that I fish for compliments and now they don't sit with me anymore because of this. I don't know if I'm actually fishing for compliments. I usually just make little comments that I think I'm ugly and instead of saying otherwise they just say I'm fishing for compliments. Am I being toxic or are they? Also, usually, when I make these jokes they either criticize me or agree. Please help!!
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Others can have a hard time telling if you are complimentary fishing or not. Ask yourself before you say something, Do I want a reaction, if so what? If you say things to make others compli.e t you, you are fishing. I think one of the reasons people do this is because they don't normally get support, which is really sad. So try and find people who will always support you, and I think you will probably do it less.
Fishing for compliments is when you say something bad about yourself to get a reaction or to have someone say “oh no that’s not true, you’re very *insert positive trait*” If you’re just making self-deprecating comments as jokes and that’s just your humor, then I don’t think it’s fishing for compliments. Maybe you could talk to your friends and explain that it’s just your humor and you don’t expect validation from them?
If you already know that you are (insert compliment here) but you fake insecurity so people will pity you and try to uplift your ego, then yes.
How to stop? Just make more efforts.