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I had my oldest child F38 at 23, alone during pregnancy and delivery and for 5 years after. She was my reason for finishing tech school and working three jobs during pregnancy (2 pt, 1 four ten-hour days). the light of my life! I married and had another girl, and Daughter #1 became the middle child. I tried to balance life for nearly 10 years. Divorced. Developed Fibromyalgia, and PTSD from being abandoned twice by men, and went on DI. Daughter #1 Started working to buy her wants while I maintained a nice home, decent school, and lower middle-class IMO. Fast Forward. 2017. I'd moved back home for family of origin. She surprises me with a visit, yay, we're pregnant! Come home Mom! I did! New MIL has $$$. Gets all of daughter's attention. Has zero time for me. I stay all night keeping grand baby so they can sleep. Baby sit 6 months (paid) so they can work. FF. 6 Years later. I'm 64. Poor health. See Grand only in their house. 3 hours. Saturday or Sunday or whenever they have no plans. Included in Xmas morning gifts and brunch 2022 after they spent 10 days in NC with his family. Great people btw! Still no real relationship with daughter! Never calls. Ignores texts. Blocked on social media. Daughter cleans house while I am there. Refuses paid group therapy. My POV? I poured my life force into this girl. AITA for wanting a deeper connection?
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#1
To me placing blame is useless. You have valid points and i am sure your daughter has valid points as well. I could never force a deeper relationship with someone who either didnt want it or wasnt ready for it. And when i did force an issue it back fired on me 100% of the time. I do know PTSD screws with perceptions. My wife suffers from that along with other issues. Acknowledging those issues doesnt excuse behavior that hurts me. I make sure my side of street is clean and work toward a loving relationship built on compassion and understanding.
Its a wonderful thing to want a deeper relationship with your daughter but why guilt her or push therapy. No family is perfect. No parent is perfect and no child is perfect. Stand up and weather the storm. They might see a true adult or they might see a spoiled child that just happens to be their parent.
Final score:
2points
#2
You are not an a*****e for wanting a connection with you daughter. That is normal. However, you are an a*****e for the way you pressured her into it. She is a grown woman, and can make her own decisions. Do you call, text, and visit relatives every day? That's what I thought. You have to accept the fact that she is growing up, has a husband and kids, and does not always have time to talk with you. I hope you understand that you are not the only one working their a*s of to support their family. Also, if you want to have a better connection with your daughter, maybe don't write full on paragraphs on how you think she is being an a*****e. There is obviously a reason she blocked you
Final score:
1point
#4
That was a lot of reading, I couldn’t read it all, and I have a runny nose so I can’t look down and read the whole thing sorry. From what I saw/read tho, I’d say no ur not.
Final score:
0points
#5
I feel as though we're not hearing the whole story here. I don't understand why your daughter would block you on social media unless something else has happened previously?
You're not the AH for wanting a closer relationship, especially as it seems as though she is closer to her partner's family.
The behaviour you describe sounds quite cold, as though your daughter resents you for some reason?
I could be completely wrong but that's just my take.
Final score:
0points
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