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Me (23F) has a younger sister (15F) whose birthday is coming up. I work out of town and have limited leaves (not in us the US). My sister's bday is coming up, and my mom called me yesterday to ask if I could come over for the weekend taking 2 days leave (she asked me to come over on Friday).

Here is where the problem began: I have a movie coming up on Saturday which was booked 10 days in advanced because no one was getting tickets around the time of release. I have wanted to see this movie for a long time. Anyway, I told my mum about the movie plans and suggested I come home on Sunday morning (sister's bday is on Tuesday). She blew up at me, calling me selfish and a bad sister because I cannot leave a movie and be with my family for an extra day. I said I am ready to take a leave of 3 days if 2 aren't enough.

My sister is calling me an a**hole now, and my dad is saying it's strange I would pick a movie over my sister. I'm not. I'm just rescheduling coming over. I need more opinions on this.

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#1

You are not the AH. Next time just say you can't get the time off. Classified, so
you can't talk about it

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Vermonta
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#2

NTA

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Pink Princess
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#3

I wonder whether something else was being planned that you weren’t told about. The reactions seem disproportionate to the effects of your proposed plan. NTA

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Larry Sanguinetti
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#4

No, you're not the as*hole. This is called Adulting 101, and it SUCKS when you have family because *poof* at the magical age of 18 or whenever you move out of the house, you're automatically supposed to know everything, how to do/handle everything, etc. Yet family constantly likes to remain contradictory to this. They want you out on your own, but then whine when you are and conveniently "pretend" not to know what that means.

They can't have it both ways. I can understand your sister not knowing this yet, she's 15, but your parents and others should DEFINITELY get it. Being out of the house and on your own not only means living on your own but it means jobs, schedules, maybe schooling, times for errands, times for friends and hobbies and for yourself.

You don't just wake up, go to work (and have an amazing job that allows you to take off when you need it consistently), then come home and do.... nothing. Your life is NOT just "work".

Stand your ground and do NOT cave in to guilt or bad feelings, etc. Shut that all down by saying, "I have my own life now but I still love my sister, and I'm here for her." Then follow that up by spending as much time with her as you can, or as much as you can stand.

Stay strong, don't over think it, you've got this. xx

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jolie laide
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