Hey Pandas, AITA For Not Wanting To Spend My Money On A Gender Reveal Party? (Closed)

Right I've been with my other half for nearly 7 years. His 19 nearly 20 year old daughter has found out she is pregnant and due being of October. She has know a job and home of her own (she is trying to get a house) but lives with her aunt at the moment. Anyway, I offered to pay for an early scan so she can sort buying clothes and stuff so it wasn’t all left till 20 weeks and it takes the pressure off. Me and her dad said we will be a cot and pram. But I found out yesterday she is planning on spending loads of money on a gender reveal that should really be used to sort a home when she gets one. So I've said I'll know longer pay for the early scan as I'm not putting money into a stupid gender reveal when it can be put to better use like me and her dad buying a cot and pram.

So now I've got some of my other halfs family calling me nasty because I won't play into the using money she doesn't have to have a silly party. Am I being unreasonable?

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Gender reveal parties are a horrific new trend and are ridiculous. The money can be spent better elsewhere.

Also the trend name is wrong, you are revealing the sex of the baby not the gender. It should be a sex reveal party.

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Final score:

5points

Nathaniel (He/Him) Cis Het.

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Clown fish 1 year ago

I want to turn up and change the balloon and Cannon colours to white and watch as they don't get what's happening

5points

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Given the circumstances no, I don't think you're being unreasonable. She doesn't have a job, or a place of her own. She shouldn't be spending money on a gender reveal party. She should absolutely have a baby shower so she can get the things she needs, but spending money on gender reveal, that's not important at the moment. You don't have to give her any money at all for scans or anything, and it's kind you are, or were. Maybe explain to her that you will give her money for said expense because that's what's important, not a party. I'm sure she's excited, but she needs to realize very quickly what is going to matter. Making sure the baby is healthy and cared for. I hope it works out.

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Final score:

4points

Bonesko

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Clown fish 1 year ago

Ok thank you. I was thinking I was being really nasty.

2points

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NTA. Gender reveal parties are stupid

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Final score:

3points

Leading-The-Banned

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Clown fish 1 year ago

Yeah I do think they are stupid. I'd be ok if it wasn’t a case of she hasn't got a job to be spending that kind of money. I'd still think it was stupid but if people have money to burn what ever.

2points

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NTA. And if you can't afford a gender reveal, you can't afford a kid.

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Final score:

3points

D0C

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Clown fish 1 year ago

I've had that conversation as well. She came back with you had a child at 21. But the difference is I had my own house, and job

2points

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Gender reveals should be illegal. They are transphobic and cisnormative in nature, and in some cases environmentally harmful. And we can’t forget poor Flamingo the pigeon( I suggest looking him up if you don’t know what I’m talking about. Warning, very sad.)
NTA.

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Final score:

2points

Gemma Harrigan(She/her)

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Clown fish 1 year ago

Oh my the poor pigeon.

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Gender reveals are so obnoxious and need to be stopped, especially when people also have a baby shower later. Just find out what you baby is, maybe include the grandparents, and then have a shower later. Anyone who thinks you are the problem should be willing to pay for the dumb party if they want it. You are so right it's ridiculous. They are young and need to learn what necessities are.

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Final score:

2points

BarkingSpider

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KJHooks 1 year ago (edited)

Gender reveal parties are fine. Don’t worry about why other people have get togethers

-1point

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Depends how much they are. I always thought it was just a balloon that u popped and either pink or blue confetti popped out of it. So I got no idea. Gender reveal parties r kinda big tho, almost like tradition. Also it’s THEIR baby so they should be a bale to choose what they want to do, but idk. I have barely any knowledge of this stuff really..ima go back to watching a boywithuke music video

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Final score:

1point

DP(the first)

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Clown fish 1 year ago (edited)

The balloons come in at £20 each and she wants cannons too They are £25 each. Then food, drinks, It's just money she doesn't have to spend.she has no job and gets limited benefits as she is under 25 so only gets 250 per month. She needs items for a new home. It's coast a lot too be an adult living in a home with a baby. An there not as big in the UK but it seems the younger people are doing them because celebrities do them. Maybe I'm old and think it's all stupid as you can get a good set of baby blankets for the £60 odd she'll spend on balloon and cannons

3points

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i think that she is exited for a gender reveal party, but is tight on money, so i think you are right

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Final score:

1point

Mike_the_nike

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NTA. I have 2 sets of twins and have NEVER had a gender revel party. I just send out an email with a list of things I could use.

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Final score:

1point

the_avenging_knight (her/she)

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Clown fish 1 year ago

Yeah someone said above maybe a baby shower so she can get things she needs but the whole is it a boy or girl thing especially when she hasn't got the money to be spending on such fruitful things.

1point