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I recently celebrated my 17th birthday- yay, right? Well, not exactly. I know this seems weird, but I need to know, AITA or not?

Background: My 17th birthday was coming up. This was a big deal for me, as I've struggled with mental health for a while and never thought I'd see the day. So, I woke up on my birthday, and... nobody said anything. I said good morning to my mom, she said good morning. That was it. I called my dad. "Have a good day!" That was it. I thought this was little odd, but figured maybe they were planning some sort of surprise.

At school, my best friend gave me a present (woo-hoo) and I sent my mom a picture. She replied with "Cute! What's the occasion?" I was getting a little annoyed at this point, as it was pretty far into the day and they still weren't acknowledging that it was my birthday.

In my family, we often do a birthday dinner, where the whole family will sit down either at a nice-ish restaurant or at home (with a nice meal we cook ourselves). I figured, as with my other birthdays, that this would be the case. So, when dinner rolled around, I asked my mom what the plan was. She looked sort of confused, and informed me that she and my dad were going out and that I was babysitting for my sister. Now, this was sort of my last straw. I broke down and yelled at her, "Don't you know what day it is? It's my birthday!" My dad came in, and my mom explained the situation to him. He got upset and explained to me in annoyance that at my age, nobody should care about birthdays anymore. They didn't think they needed to do anything about it, as I had apprently "aged out" of needing a celebration or acknowledgement. I ran upstairs and locked myself in my room.

My family says 17 means I've "aged out" of needing any sort of celebration of my birthday, I disagreed. AITA? Am I too old for birthdays, and shouldn't be expecting anything? Please let me know as it's really been bothering me lately.

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#1

you are so not the AH here!! No matter how old someone is you tell them Happy birthday and if you live under the same roof you make them dinner or take them out. You get them a present even just a small one. You probably wish your parents a happy birthday and maybe make or get them something small? So why are the rules different for you??
You are definitely not the AH.
Happy birthday! What did your friend get you?

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Mis Stake she/her 🇫🇮🇬🇧
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#2

Happy birthday.

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Stephen Mwangi
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#3

Birthdays should be fun as a kid. For me, once the presents and money stops so does interest in birthdays. I had to write thank you notes for every present since I could write and put them in the mail. Thank you email for making it easier

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Vermonta
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#4

Wow, you are so NTA. Even if you did “grow out of birthday celebrations” (I don’t think that’s possible btw) that’s no excuse to literally PRETEND ITS NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY.

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GhostlySnail (she/her)
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#5

Hey you, go to reddit

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The Strange Man🦆
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#6

The only "aging out" of birthdays that happens is literally passing away.

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Headless Horseman
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#7

It is possible to “age out” of birthdays. I've had birthdays where I forgot it was my birthday until halfway through the day. Crucially, it was my choice to age out of birthdays, and I was a lot older than 17 (double the number and add a little more). I think your parents are trying to teach you about growing up or something, but they have absolutely got it wrong. Growing up is about making choices for yourself, not having choices arbitrarily made for you. They didn’t even do the bare minimum. Happy Birthday to you ViFi! 17 is a big deal. Life is scary at that age. But you’ve got this.

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Penguin Panda Pop
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ViFi
ViFi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

thanks penguin panda pop! i needed that- it's been scary out here.

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#8

Also happy birthday

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The wee giant
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#9

What the hell? NTA all the way. That's messed up. You don't "age out" of getting acknowledged or celebrated. This was a special day for you and they acted like TAs here. Happy birthday, I hope your friends threw you the best party after this.

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Alastor
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#10

No you are not the Arsehole. You are never too old for Birthdays. Your family is totally in the wrong but at least now you don't have to buy any of them a present and card or even acknowledge their birthdays ever again.

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Julie S
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#11

Your parents are the ah

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The wee giant
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#12

i'm so sorry that happened to you! i don't believe it's possible to "age out of birthdays", as my mom and dad still have birthday celebrations every year

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BASILeuphoria
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#13

Do your parents expect you to recognise their birthdays? I had a friend who married a Jehovah’s Witness and they didn’t celebrate.
But they’re a******s. Remember this is one year, you’ll do it your way soon.

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MoMcB
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#14

Happy birthday!!! You absolutely still deserve to celebrate your birthday! I’m about to reach that same age and I can confidently say that your family really needs to open their eyes. You deserve more than what you got and I hope that things get better for you.

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Shale Beckman
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#15

Abso-fukin-lutely NTA! Your parents are insane! Happy birthday OP!

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