Hey Pandas, AITA For Asking Someone To Stop? (Closed)

Hi there! I have misophonia (sensitivity to certain noises, especially loud noises). My triggers (not all of them): eating noises, slamming sounds, and yelling/screaming. I usually hyperventilate and I feel extremely lightheaded when I'm triggered by those sounds.

I had Science class yesterday (with at least 20 boys.). The class is an already established noisy class. However, I sit next to some REALLY Annoying boys. They like to yell, scream, whistle (the two-hand whistle that's SO LOUD), slam the table or their computers, and say certain racial slurs to each other (they are a mixed group of white and black kids that say stuff like 'AYOOO that's GaY' or the N-word to each other. The school has said that there's an anti-racism policy, however, they continue). They're 12-14 years old, and LOVE to make sexual jokes.

Anyway, yesterday, I was already not feeling great. I just had a class that was loud and was already lightheaded. I took a drink of water and stepped into the class. 4/10 noise level, there weren't a lot of people there yet. Skip forward a little, all of the kids are in their seats. K1= Kid one, and so on.

I get a Paper assignment. Noise level 7/10. Kids are screaming, yelling, you name it. Ugh. My science teacher doesn't know that I'm misophonic and already assumes I'm just lazy or something. My worksheet is blank - I can't focus with this noise. My teacher berates me about my assignment being blank.

K1 (who I sit Right Next To) is talking with his buddy, K2. They use the N-word the way I'd use 'buddy' or 'guy' (direct example: "this [~] is running around like a dog!"). They're not Caucasian, so I feel..bad about getting onto them about using the word. I still think it is unacceptable to use it - regardless of skin color.

I know that if I ask them to stop, they'll just blow me off and call me a homophobic slur again (F-slur, not fun to receive). Other kids (at least 7 or 8 different boys), continuously Scream/yell random stuff and whistle. It's a sharp, piercing sound that feels like a needle-thin icicle is quickly stabbing my skull. I finally lose it and quietly ask them to stop whistling as politely as possible, as I feel like I'm going to explode and run out of the class. He just stares at me, lifts his fingers, and whistles again with a smirk. At this point, I just cover my ears and glare at him. Ugh. After class, some kid from the class loudly says (in the hall) "I'm AUTISTIC" (he says it slowly, like the guy in the Goonies [baby ruth!]) So, Pandas, what do you think? Am I the asshole for trying to calm down?

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Don't feel bad about asking for some peace and quiet. Those boys were way out of line. You need to tell your parents. Also, inform a school counselor that you have misophonia. That counselor can then make sure your science teacher knows. Surely accommodations can be made, allowing you to work in a quieter space.

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4points

Dobbys Boggart

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NTA. There are kids like that in my school too. You needed space and those kids deserved to learn a lesson. A thing that calms me down is thinking that they will be kept awake at night in the future over all of the horrible things they did when they were teens. Maybe you could try and talk to a teacher about getting sat at a new table in class?

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3points

Amity Blight (Se/Sem/Sers)

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Saturn Rings (Submission author) 2 years ago

Oh also, like other comments said you should probably talk to the school counselor too.

3points

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No,you’re not the a-hole. I have autism and I would have a breakdown from sensory overload.Ask a school counselor about your misophobia and there might be a chance they can give you accommodations to have a quieter work space.

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2points

Amber.exe (She/They)

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Sardonyx_3 2 years ago

Maybe! My mom already knows I'm sensitive to loud noises, but doesn't know I have ~specific~ triggers. I've heard that sound-dampening earbuds might be the best choice. I really don't want to have to schedule a different time for my classes 😅

3points

NTA. I had anxiety problems in one particular class, and my teacher would let me put my desk in the hallway for assignments and tests. It was a tremendous help. But if they're being that loud, I doubt a closed door is going to do much good. Why so much noise is being tolerated in a classroom is beyond me. If the teacher can't handle accommodating you, someone in the office needs to be notified. Those two-handed whistles and horrible comments are bothering more than just you, I'm sure.

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2points

*InsertWittyUsernameHere*

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This soumds alot like my school🤦‍♀️ i really hope it aint.... anyways i know how u feel, i am extremly sensitive to certain pitches and loud noises ( which sucks cause im in band ) but its hard to tell peeps to be quiet whem their having a convo with the astronauts in space... they still shouldnt call u names and use slurs, but i think u should tell ur teach so that he/she can do somethin bout that noise

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2points

Do-nut touch da donut

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Sardonyx_3 2 years ago

HMMM wait are you in Utah? Or... Anyway... They've only called me a "f#g" once, but it wasn't nice anyway. The thing is, the science teacher doesn't really get involved with the class - he is sick' a lot (i don't know if he has a health issue or not :( ), and doesn't really ask kids to stop unless they've gone atomic level = throwing chairs at the floor, climbing on tables, etc. (it's happened once, on a friday. I don't recommend it lol)

2points

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Okay NTA, I have misophonia too and it really sucks. You should tell your teacher (make sure you have scientific proof, trust me, just print an article from a good source about misophonia) that you have it, (also get noise cancelling headphones) and tell them that you don't feel comfortable around those boys, if they are a decent teacher they'll move you. If they are not, I suggest getting your parents involved in all of this, at the extreme change classes if possible.

ALSO IT PISSES ME OFF THAT THEY CALLED YOU AUTISTIC. FROM SOMEONE (me) WHO ACTUALLY IS AUTISTIC (high functioning) I WANT TO PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE (don't do that)

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2points

Chickens are fluffy

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Sardonyx_3 2 years ago

Well. The boys didn't call ME autistic - they just do this thing where they are 'making fun of themselves', which is just making fun of others. Example: "Im GaY! *proceeds to slap buddy on the butt* - the buddy laughs and makes a shocked sound. SO ANNOYING UGH. The thing with moving seats - they boys are SCATTERED around the classroom - everywhere - so if I move, i might get to sit away from K2 and K1, but i'd have to sit next to nastier boys. Hobson's choice. Most adults assume i'm faking having misophonia (I haven't taken a test; the triggers don't really affect me physically; the triggers just make me really want to leave, or make me unreasonably panicked.) I really don't think i'm 'faking'. 🤷

2points

NTA. I suggest not telling them you have Misophonia and ADHD because they might use that knowledge to do it even more.

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Abnus

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Sardonyx_3 2 years ago

Hmmm. This school isn't really the best for 'accommodating' students for their needs. I'm assuming most of the kids in class also have ADHD, but i'm not sure. I've reported 5+ kids for saying the N-word, but the school does nothing but tell them off. No suspension. Nothing else. Disgusting.

1point

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No, if anything they’re the a*****e(s). I would look into a 504 plan, or an IEP. If your school uses Title I Funding, you may be able to receive accommodations for your circumstances. However, teachers cannot help if you do not tell them! I would also look into Loops, earplugs that block ambience. These, combined with bone-conduction headphones are magnificent sound blockers (and people are less likely to bother you).

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Final score:

2points