Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
2Kviews
Hey LGBTQ+ Pandas, How Do I Make Myself More Approachable To People Who Are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual Or Transgender? (Closed)
#1
Don't assume people's gender or sexuality.
If you don't know someone's pronouns, use they/them until you do. Ask if they have a partner instead of boyfriend or girlfriend. Say folks instead of ladies and gentlemen, and other stuff like that. Assuming stuff about people can be harmful, painful, and even just plain annoying.
Final score:
13points
RELATED:
#2
Personally, I'd say don't make a big deal out of everything. If someone mentions their spouse/gf/bf, why would it matter to you if the person is of the opposing gender or not. Don't make things awkward by going, "omg, you're gay, that's cool! Totally support!!" After all, whom I live with, in my own home, doesn't affect you in the least. If I'm sad about having broken up, it doesn't affect you if the person I lost was male or female.
Final score:
12points
Max Pasterski 6 months ago
Yes, this is kinda annoying when people point that out. I already know.
#3
Hmm. I would just support them wholeheartedly. When getting hassled or verbally assaulted, stand by their side, even if the hassler is someone you know and love.
Final score:
9points
#4
Don't stay quiet; being an ally doesn't just consist of respecting people's pronouns and their sexuality. Speak up against verbal or physical violence towards the LGBTQ+ community if you actually care. Even if it's not directed at you. Like how white people would stand up against racism for example. Or people who haven't been abused stand up against abuse. It's basic human empathy. If you were down in the dumps, you'd want someone to help you up. Don't sit back and stay neutral, and befriend bigots and the next day be nice to your gay friends. That's not how it works. You can't play both sides, and you can't sit on the sidelines.
Final score:
9points
#5
A grumpy perspective from an older gay guy. Those who prefer alternative pronouns are generally a little easier to identify as they don’t tend to conform with stereotypes, which is fine. “Gender bending” as it was referred to years ago, for better or worse. I get it - you don’t fit societal norms. So the proper thing to do is ask politely and respect their choice.
But for many, this new generation of asking about pronouns is a ludicrous irritant. The notion that there are 50+ genders out there is just beyond farce. Utter drivel. From a medical perspective, it can be downright irresponsible. I don’t care what you “wanna be”. But if you were born with ovaries or testicles, better damn well let me know ahead of a medical intervention, lest we accidentally cause harm. And as for your sexual preferences, totally your own business.
And straight colleagues who have to have their pronouns in an email signature drives me insane. It’s like people with different pronouns are suddenly in the vast majority. No… you have boobs or use a urinal. Sometimes even both. I’m gonna put my neck on the line and take a wild guess. 99/100 times, I’ll be on the money.
We are putting waaay too much emphasis upon this. It’s now creating a divide by categorising people like species. Best compliment for an LGBTQ+ person is not to give a damn, because it’s no more interesting than the colour of their eyes. Treat others as you wish to be treated and if you make an error, they’ll correct you, so just apologise and move on.
Final score:
7points
Ozacoter 2 years ago
It is an over compensation jn my opinion. They mean well but they are becoming as dogmatic and categorical as the conservatives. Before we had box A and box B and you could not leave them. We started getting rid of the boxes but suddenly it went backwards. Now there are more boxes than A and B but we are back in the old stereotypes of what a man and a woman are. Its very sad.
#6
Don't speak over the voices of queer people and tell us what is or isn't valid, and make sure you listen to us on what we want, not just what you think we want. Also, you're an ally, not an actual member of the community, so you can attend pride events and protests, but just remember that it isn't for you.
Final score:
5points
#7
as a family with homosexual males and females, bisexuals and transgender, this question makes no sense. here's an approach 'Hello'. now if you're talking about approaching to discuss our ask questions about their sexuality, just ask. if they don't want to answer, they won't.
Final score:
5points
#8
be friendly, dont question who they are, be open to talk abt their life style, dont introducee us as your "queer friend", and just be kind :)
Final score:
3points
#9
Inform yourself on different sexualities/pronouns/flags read news about things that are happening, and don’t be weird about somebody in the LGBTQIAA+ community. Ex. “Wait you’re pan? I totally support and love that!! But, um can you not change in the girls locker rooms - it’s weird.”
Final score:
3points
#10
If someone trusts you and comes out to you, especially if you are a parent and that person is your kid, never say “Well it might be a phase” or s**t related to that. It makes the relationship between you and them awkward, they won’t trust you anymore. NEVER pass it off as a phase or way of getting attention, unless they come out as dream-gender or something. Also never pressure someone to come out to others if you know their sexuality or gender identity.
Final score:
3points
Mysteria (Submission author) 1 year ago
I know I made this post a while ago I just wanted to clarify I meant dream-gender as in the dream Stan stuff.
#11
Always ask for gender and name and stuff like that. And if you don't know, use They/Them. And if you don't understand their sexuality or gender/pronouns, just ask!
Final score:
2points
TKA 2 years ago
Hi my name is T. I am a female. I was born with a vagina. I am married to my husband who was born with and still has a penis. ?? I really hope this comment is talking about in the dating world because I’m not going to give out all that info if I was asked my name and I would never ask that much info when meeting someone new. I don’t see what the big deal is unless you are trying to get attention. I’m different too. I don’t make everyone acknowledge it and make it part of who I am. “Oh hey, there is T, that socially awkward introvert that likes to stay home all time” I’m just me. I don’t need to bring attention to myself.
#12
Learn to recognize who's really part of the community and who isn't. You'll have pedos trying to get in on it, super straights, terfs, predators, ect. Then there's people who don't use real neopronouns and make up something absolutely ridiculous and pretend as if it's perfectly reasonable. I'm not talking about xe/xem or anything else like that. I'm talking about daddy/daddyself. Tiddy/tiddyself, frog/frogself, deku/dekuself. The list goes on. And they even expect children to use those pronouns too. Those people are looking for attention, or want to be included in a community they're not part of because they need to feel like they're oppressed, we've all met those kinds of people. Similar to people who make up bs about transitioning to a new race. They're also looking for attention, and are only harming the community. Don't support the wrong people, and don't confuse those people for real members of the LGBTQIA+. This may seem harsh, but it needs to be said.
Final score:
2points
#13
Just be a good friend, don't ask for a gbf as that's gross. Maybe ask for pronouns if you are unsure but make sure to be respectful most of all.
Final score:
1point
#14
Don’t assume pronouns. Use they/them until you know how to address them. Don’t expect us to worship you for doing the bare minimum, advocate for our rights.
Final score:
0points
#15
I think one of the biggest things is first impressions when trying to figure out if someone is supportive. Try wearing a pronoun pin, a pride pin, a rainbow backpack, ect.
Final score:
0points
What do you think ?
No Thankyou 2 years ago
it reads as if there is an underlying agenda. I think I get where you're coming from. I think and hope it's legit. But even if you're not disingenuous, coming across as disingenuous, for whatever is causing it, is going to endear you to know one, and hopefully, you u derstsnd WHT.
No Thankyou 2 years ago
I can't speak to the particular, but IMO, be sincere, be honest, be legit. I'd be uncomfortable around anyone pandering to an audience. TBB, your headline is disturbing to me. IMO, it reads as
No Thankyou 2 years ago
it reads as if there is an underlying agenda. I think I get where you're coming from. I think and hope it's legit. But even if you're not disingenuous, coming across as disingenuous, for whatever is causing it, is going to endear you to know one, and hopefully, you u derstsnd WHT.
No Thankyou 2 years ago
I can't speak to the particular, but IMO, be sincere, be honest, be legit. I'd be uncomfortable around anyone pandering to an audience. TBB, your headline is disturbing to me. IMO, it reads as
Related on Bored Panda
