I’ve always thought Lesbian was a female attracted to females and Gay was male attracted to male, but people often refer to women as gay. How does this work?

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I Think I'm Hilarious

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Queerios

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2 years ago

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Gay is basically an umbrella term for people in the LGBTQ+ community. Some people use "gay" even if they're not a man attracted to men. Lesbians are also sometimes referred to as gay women :) (Sorry if this is confusing lol)

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Why do some in the community have to assume someone is (whatever)phobic as soon as they have a different view than them? I think it rather gives a bad outlook for others of the community.

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SoloDadof3

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Okiedokie

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2 years ago

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This isn’t really a question to pose to a community where having an opposing opinion [i.e. most ‘opposing opinions facing the lgbtq community are, ‘being ‘x’ is bad/goes against religion/goes against evolution.’] So when you have an opposing opinion to an lgbtq-centric community that is why the the jump goes to ‘phobic’…99% of the time, it is. Now, if you mean on a universal scale why we are so intolerant of other peoples lifestyles and beliefs…we are in an incredibly divisive era and are incapable of tolerating our differences and social media has only made it worse.

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That emo Girl

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1 year ago

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Because it usually is 'phobic', you just don't realise

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WalkingSky️

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2 years ago

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Idk about other ppl but I do it cuz it’s funny ;-;

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Jo

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2 years ago

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Is this a question...?

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SoloDadof3 (Submission author)

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2 years ago

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Yes, was asking, why do people assume (whatever)phobic when someone is asking questions? I do not have some (phobia) fear of people. Why is the phrasing used so much? -- Personally, it looks bad on a community that is supposed to accept all genders or sexual orientations. So yes, it is a genuine question, "Why is "(whatever)phobic" the general go to phrase when posed with questions that someone wants answers to that are on the topic at hand?"

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Kiri

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2 years ago

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I don’t think this is the area to talk about this topic. But if you want to know homophobia does not me you are scared of them . It is kinda like a metaphor to explain you have hate and are disgusted by them. People do not like them because they are rude . You can not support yet still respect the lgbtq.

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SoloDadof3 (Submission author)

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2 years ago

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So, please tell me an area this can be talked about. It seems a subject avoided a lot. Mostly all I have gotten when asking why someone used the term phobic, which means to have an unnatural fear of, is either brushing off the subject or being told "this is not the place" for that type of discussion! -- I would think, that almost anyplace people are willing to communicate without being derogative or spiteful would be the right place! --It's like saying someone is racist because they ask about your race or want to know more about your culture, it does not make sense to me!

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Kiri

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2 years ago

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I feel like your wording on your post made it sound like you asking about homophobia. If you could please explain what you are trying to ask .

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SoloDadof3 (Submission author)

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2 years ago

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What I am asking is why (whatever, be it homo/trans/hetero)phobia seems to be a go to insult. Just because one is asking questions to learn more on a subject, to understand it more, does not make them phobic. I think, in a community that is supposed to be accepting of all walks of life would understand firsthand that using derogative terms is not a conductive way of communication.

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Mimi

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2 years ago

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i’m a bi woman, and you do have to understand that there’s a difference between “asking questions to learn more about a subject” and asking invasive questions that can make people uncomfortable or make them feel like they’re an object to be discussed. if the question is asked on a platform like here, where the intent is to broaden understanding, that’s great, and we should answer questions to the best our abilities! also, saying that “phobia” is a “go to insult” because people are “just trying to learn more” diminishes the fact that queer people don’t owe you explanations, and pressuring us with questions isn’t a good look. “derogative terms” as you put it, aren’t a great way of communication for anyone, and the queer community isn’t/shouldn’t be held to higher standards because we “are supposed to be accepting of all walks of life”. if you’ve experienced the lgbtqia+ people using (blank)phobic as a go to insult for you when you ask questions, the problem is probably the question.

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Kiri

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2 years ago

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It’s an insult because that means you a b***h to a person because who they loce

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Jo

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2 years ago

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I honestly still don't understand sorry

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I am a very curious person and if I met someone I want to get to know them. I ask someone their sexuality, and they took offense. How do I ask someone and be as kind as possible?

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TrashPanda

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Bisexual Supreme

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2 years ago

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i think you have to know someone better. it also depends on the person as some people are more private than others. or you can casually ask if they would date an objectively attractive celebrity of their same gender, so they could politely say “i don’t swing that way” or “yeah i would”

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I have a question about me, kind of "what is my letter, do I have a letter, aren't I just normal with a side of mental?"

First, I know that labels are not what's important, but I'm confused about me and they can give me a direction.

So, confusion:
1) I always said that I don't fall in love with a gender but with a person. If that person would happen to be female (as me), fine.
2) But I only crushed or fell in love with males.
3) As far as I know...
4) ... because of a lot of mental health c**p I had extrem problems in aknowledging my feelings. First time I could admit to myself that I had a crush on someone was at 18.
5) Since having learned listening to what I need instead of what others want, sex is a big no for me...
6) ...but that may be partly or mainly trauma related

So, am I
1) Pan
2) Hetero
3) Unknown because mental
4) Ace
5) Non-Ace, just mental

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Who, me?

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Kiri

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2 years ago

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You may be Omni . Trust me I understand how confusing it is. You just kinda know that you are ✨fruity✨.

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I have a couple of questions. The first, when did the term q*eer become acceptable? When I was growing up that was considered a negative term for gay and lesbians. Second, what does the "IA" in LGBTQIA stand for? That's new to me. I'm not a part if the LGBTQIA community but I have always believed in treating everyone with respect.

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Uncle Bud

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Lukas-not-Luca (he/him)

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2 years ago

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Intersex means that at birth a person has a mix of male/female sexual characteristics ( to my understanding anyways). And the term queer is different for everyone. I use it personally- it's kind of like reclaiming it. Just make sure to say they're queer and not "a queer"

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