30 Times Kids Had Had Enough Of Helicopter Parents And Shared Screenshots Online (New Pics)
Helicopter parenting (a parent's over-involvement in their child's life) can be driven by many factors, including societal pressure to ensure academic and extracurricular success, and the rapid evolution of technology that allows for non-stop monitoring and communication.
But it can backfire. In reality, the practice often limits the kid's opportunities to build resilience, learn problem-solving skills, and become independent, placing additional burdens on their shoulders to carry into the future.
To show you how all of this manifests, we put together a collection of posts about parents who can't stop micromanaging their children's lives. Continue scrolling to check them out and don't miss the chat we had with Bored Panda’s parenting expert and award-winning TV broadcaster and author, Vicki Broadbent.
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Man Elegantly Destroys Helicopter Parent
I Synced My Calendar With My Mum And Forgot I Have My Birth Control Implant Replacement Date Marked 3 Years From Now. She Saw It And Texted Me This While I Was At Work. I’m 20
"I think parents often forget that they were once children themselves or perhaps they distinctly remember those times and that's why they are so set on micromanaging their children," Vicki Broadbent, the woman behind the family lifestyle blog Honest Mum and author of Mumboss (UK) and The Working Mom (US and Canada), told Bored Panda.
"It's normal to want to mollycoddle your kids and protect them but just as we did, they too, must learn from their mistakes. Our job as parents is to try and ensure the mistakes are not severe or potentially dangerous."
Broadbent said that everything starts with clear communication, guidance, and advice because sooner or later, "there will come a point when the kids must simply have to experience life and learn from it."
According to her, things like walking home from school on their own or staying away for a few nights will allow them to grow.
There Is A Shooter Somewhere On Campus But My Mom Is More Concerned With Me Missing My Lab Practical
Ladies And Gentlemen, My Mother After I Disabled Tracking Location App On My Phone, I Am 21 Years Old
"Each child is an individual, of course, and what is right for one will not be for another: most will only learn independence through trial and error," Vicki Broadbent added.
"You as a parent must be there to cushion their falls but most children will and should experience adversity in some way in order to learn, be it friendship woes or falling off their bike."
"It is in those times that they learn more about themselves, how best to respond to problems as they arise, and over time, therein lies growth, resilience, and maturity," the mother of three explained.
I’ve Been At College For One Day. He Dropped Me Off Yesterday. It’s Orientation Week
So Proud Of Myself
Naturally, these things take time and preparation. "When it came to my own children and they requested walking home from school or taking public transport, for example, I made it clear that they needed to demonstrate more maturity at home to earn greater independence," Broadbent said.
"That meant sticking to chores, remembering school items, becoming more proactive in cooking and cleaning, preparing for tests, and just practicing more autonomous behavior in general," she explained.
"Once they proved themselves to me, taking slow steps to improve over long periods of time, they were allowed more freedom."
If everything works out well, that's when the snowball effect starts. "Once they walked home safely the first few times, they were allowed to do it more frequently," Broadbent said. "It's important to show your children that you do trust them and allow them to live up to that expectation."
"If they fail, you regroup, talk to them calmly, problem-solve and once they've proved themself again, give them another chance. Using apps to track their location when you do allow them that space, will provide you with peace of mind, as would offering them a phone perhaps."
Idk If This Counts As Insane, But Still An Invasion Of Privacy (For Context I Hand My Phone In To My Mum At 8:30 And That Is Why She Had It)
My Mom Thinks If I Take My Dogs Outside To Pee When It’s Dark That I Will Die/Be Murdered/Abducted. 5 Mins Before Sunset I’m Perfectly Safe Though. Note To Add, I’m 25 And Have Lived 400 Miles From Home For 8 Years. Didn’t Take My Dogs Out Until 11:30 So Suck On That Mom
The frustration of the people who made these posts is understandable. Researchers from the University of Virginia discovered that teens who grew up with psychologically controlling parents struggle with relationships and educational achievements even as adults.
"What we found was that kids who had parents who displayed more overcontrolling behavior tended to struggle in tasks that require assertiveness and independence and autonomy throughout development," said Emily Loeb, a postdoctoral researcher who was the lead author of the study.
"So by the time the kids were adults, they were in romantic relationships where there wasn't as much support being given. By 32, they achieved less education relative to those who had less psychological control, and they were less likely to be in a romantic relationship at all by age 32."
They Hid This To See What I Was Eating And Seeing If I Was Up Late. Im 19 Btw
My Sister's Twitter Account.... She's 23yo And My Mom Still Does This
The results come from a longitudinal study involving 184 young people from a variety of socioeconomic backgrounds, tracking them from ages 13 to 32.
The study took into account family income, gender (about half the group was male and half female), and a person's grade-point average at the age of 13.
Loeb's team also measured the participants' psychosocial maturity to discern how well they take into account others' perspectives and think about social situations in a nuanced way.
Getting Tracked At 20 By My Antivaxx Conspiracy Theory Mom. Finally Convinced Her To Delete The Tracking App Though
I Need More Opinions. I'm 22 F Living On My Own And My Parents Still Want To Have Control On What I Buy. It Is Not Making Me Any More Frugal When She Yells At Me For Spending Too Much
Nothing Major. She Just Wanted To Know Why I Didn’t Return Her Text That Was Sent 5 Minutes Before The First Call
"We asked people at their schools to rate how much they would want to spend a Saturday night with this particular person," Loeb said.
"We gathered all the readings, and that was a measure of what we call 'sociometric popularity' – so, 'How much do kids just like them and want to spend time with them?'"
The researchers also asked the 13-year-olds about various symptoms of depression.
The researchers filmed the study participants with their closest friends at 13 and had them ask their friends for some support or advice on an issue and studied their meeting.
"We coded the interaction for the amount of support shown [during it]," Loeb said.
I'm 18nb And My Mom Sent Me Out To Get A Table And Chairs For Her. I Was Gone For 20 Mins And Didn't Respond To Her Calls. This Is The Result. I Have To Laugh
I Pity Those With Helicopter Parents
My Lovely Mother
The team replicated this scenario with romantic partners when the study participants were 27 years old and again when they were 32.
“We found [problems were going] on in mid-adolescence that helped explain that they were less liked by their peers," Loeb explained. “So fewer people said, 'Yeah, I'd like to spend time with them on a Saturday night.' And they were less mature in terms of balancing perspective and thinking about things in a nuanced way."
I'm 22
I’m Going To An Iron Maiden Concert. I’m Also Almost 30
Am I Crazy Or Is This Toxic !? I Am 18 In Highschool And My Mother Threatens Not Sending Me To College If I Don’t Spend Time With Her
There’s A Word For Not Allowing Your Kids To Socialize Outside The Family. Starts With Letter G
Loeb believes these findings are important because people – be they clinicians, parents, or educators – are always seeking the right balance when trying to guide children.
"[I'm] not saying you can’t have rules," Loeb added, "but it’s very important that parents do let kids think for themselves and let them express opinions that are different than [their own]."
While the examples shown in the pictures are extreme, it's clear that independence in our early life makes for a healthier adulthood.
Someone Who I Know Received This From Her Dad. Context In The Comments
She doesn't like being financially dependent on her parents at Uni and so wants to get a loan and a job and supply for herself. She is also about to visit her parents and wants to also see her boyfriend when she is down. They live 6 hours away and it costs £100 for the train and they are both so busy they've only seen eachother once since being at Uni. Her parents won't let her and say that she has to spend the entirety of her reading week with them and is disgusting for wanting to be away from them. This isn't the first time something like this has happened.
Girlfriend's Mother
I’m A Turkey Because I Don’t Want To Download An App So My Mom Can Track Me
I Just Have No Words For How Bats**t This Lady Is
Yes Karen, You Are A Helicopter Mom
2nd Post From Karen Infiltration
Text That My Narcissistic Step-Dad Sent His 16 Year Old Daughter (My Sister) The Blanked Out Name Is Me. He Posted This Screenshot On Instagram Bragging About His Great “Parenting Skills”
Went To Visit My Boyfriend For The Weekend And My Mom Decided To Text Me This While I Was Sleeping, Im An Adult Btw
I Am 22 Years Old, Living On My Own With My Husband, And My Dad Still Trys To Control What I Do
This Is My Mother Who’s Gone Back To College
These parents all seem to fall into one of a few categories: unmanaged anxiety disorder, narcissistic control freak, or hyper religious. Some are a fun combo of all of them. I was raised by a step father who was the trifecta. It was hell. While there are other more heinous circumstances that have resulted in me never speaking to him, even in the absence of those, his helicopter parenting would have made me go no contact. All of these parents are going to end up with children who hate their guts and want little or nothing to do with them.
I couldn't take it after like number 22... had to bail
Load More Replies...These are the parents who wind up asking, "Why don't my children ever call or visit?" with no sense of self-awareness AT ALL.
A lot of these children should really play the no contact card
Load More Replies...Feel sorry for all these people who have parents that act this way. The worst I had was when I passed my driving test was to call my parents to let them know I got to my destination safely. But I only did that for a couple of weeks if that.
Tbf that's pretty normal when someone is starting out driving. When I was in my 20s I travelled a lot and was on my own for a lot of it and my mom did ask me to shoot her a message when I'd arrived at my next destination so she wouldn't worry. Think that's fairly reasonable, id do the same in their shoes. I certainly never got any hounding messages like some of these poor guys are!
Load More Replies...These parents all seem to fall into one of a few categories: unmanaged anxiety disorder, narcissistic control freak, or hyper religious. Some are a fun combo of all of them. I was raised by a step father who was the trifecta. It was hell. While there are other more heinous circumstances that have resulted in me never speaking to him, even in the absence of those, his helicopter parenting would have made me go no contact. All of these parents are going to end up with children who hate their guts and want little or nothing to do with them.
I couldn't take it after like number 22... had to bail
Load More Replies...These are the parents who wind up asking, "Why don't my children ever call or visit?" with no sense of self-awareness AT ALL.
A lot of these children should really play the no contact card
Load More Replies...Feel sorry for all these people who have parents that act this way. The worst I had was when I passed my driving test was to call my parents to let them know I got to my destination safely. But I only did that for a couple of weeks if that.
Tbf that's pretty normal when someone is starting out driving. When I was in my 20s I travelled a lot and was on my own for a lot of it and my mom did ask me to shoot her a message when I'd arrived at my next destination so she wouldn't worry. Think that's fairly reasonable, id do the same in their shoes. I certainly never got any hounding messages like some of these poor guys are!
Load More Replies...