Liz Taplin is a career coach and former teacher with 35 years of experience under her belt. She mostly helps teachers – past, present and future, but works with charitable and voluntary organizations as well. Bored Panda reached out to Liz to better understand the importance of acts of kindness, because, as she states on her professional page, “there is no greater privilege than serving others.”

Can the reasons behind kind acts be selfish, geared toward self-satisfaction? It’s interesting to understand what drives our need to help others. “I believe kindness and wellbeing are both innate human capacities and that they feed each other,” says Liz. “It’s a chicken and egg question, though. We feel good so [we] do good things. We do good things so [we] feel good. It doesn’t matter which comes first!” 

Whatever the reason, helping others is a two-way street. Neuroscientists have found that helping others positively affects our brain. It boosts the levels of the love hormone oxytocin and dopamine, a neurotransmitter that gives us the feeling of euphoria. The latter one causes what’s called “helper’s high”. But that’s not all.

Being nice to others also releases serotonin and endorphins. Serotonin acts similar to dopamine and causes the centers of pleasure to light up your brain. You want some of that high? Try volunteering at a local animal or homeless shelter, help your elderly neighbor with the lawn or shovel their snowy driveway. The good deeds don’t have to be impressive or go viral. Simple everyday favors should help you get that mood boost just as well.

“For me, a random act of kindness means helping someone from a place of love and humanity and is the ultimate gift we can both offer and receive,” adds Liz. “Gandhi taught that the best way to find yourself is in the service of others, so that’s one outcome for the ‘giver’. For the ‘receiver’, the value is not just the act of kindness itself but the fact that a stranger sees you and values you."

"And the impact spreads, like ripples in a pond – a person is likely to become a giver very soon after being on the receiving end.” She gives a simple everyday example: “A great experiment to see this in action is to let someone out in front of you in heavy traffic. Within a few minutes, they will do the same thing to another car.”

Performing acts of kindness is part of the art of enjoying the little things in life. Liz has a few suggestions on how you can practice this habit. “I have a post-it note on my desk that says ‘make someone happy’ as a reminder that if that’s the only thing I do each day then it’s been a good day,” she shares.

Don’t get discouraged if you feel incapable or are not sure where to begin. Liz reassures: “Engaging in random acts of kindness is a habit we can nurture. Getting started is easy, just do simple things like reaching for a product off the top shelf at the supermarket for someone.

The benefits of kind acts are not only short-term. They can deepen already established connections or help you start new friendships. Even the simple act of helping a family member wash the dishes not only results in gratitude from the other person, it also qualifies as quality time, where you can tell each other about your day or share a funny story from work.

In a similar vein, volunteer work is a great place to make new friends. You can meet new people who are potentially interested in doing good deeds and maybe even form lifelong friendships.

A National Geographic reader shared a story of an unexpected picnic while solo traveling in Istanbul. While in a park, she was waved down by a local family and was offered to join them and eat a homegrown salad. “We didn’t share a language but we shared a meal, smiles, and kindness,” she says. 

Interestingly, the effect of random acts of kindness to strangers can be surprising. Scientists suggest that most good-doers don’t expect to get a positive reaction. A 2023 study in the Journal of Experimental Psychology has found that we systematically undervalue the positive impact our good actions have on the recipients.

This can explain the doubtful thoughts preceding a good deed. In some cases, it’s the fear of being misunderstood. “What if me bringing donuts into the office will be misconstrued as sucking up to my superiors?”—asks that little judgy voice in our heads.

Other times, we’re worried about not getting the reaction we expect. “What if my coworkers don’t like the donuts and will hate me forever after this?” These thoughts are irrational and reflect our own insecurities more than predict the possibilities of what can truly happen.

However, it’s also possible to build up nice behavior in our heads to be this grand gesture that the recipient should greatly appreciate. But when they don’t react in ways we expect, we get disappointed and might swear off good deeds altogether.

The Japanese have many different concepts on the philosophy of living. Some of them have permeated popular culture globally, like the art of golden repair kintsugi. In the same category as the already mentioned Mono no aware can be ikigai.

This concept is about defining and following your purpose in life. Similar are also kaizen—striving to always improve—and wabi-sabi. The latter invites us to find beauty in the imperfections of life, resisting the urge to always strive for perfection.

As was mentioned in the beginning, in Mono no aware, one practices seeing merit in the fleetingness of our existence. One way people can work on this is by actively appreciating the little things that bring them happiness. But how do you do that, you ask? And what exactly are “the little things”?

The first thing to do is not think of “the little things” as cliche. We as people can sometimes be too proud, consider ourselves too cool for simple things. Earnestness as a character trait can be looked down upon for being too “cringe”. 

However, failure to see its virtue can be the cause of a great deal of stress and pressure. Getting the dream job, the dream house are nice goals, but they happen rarely and the excitement eventually wears off. In order to feel a bit happier every day, it’s better to think about the details, like getting into a freshly made bed. Just think of how good that feels!