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Relationships form a huge part of our lives; nobody wants to waste precious years unhappy and unfulfilled with the wrong partner. It is understandable then when some of us enter new relationships with a slightly pessimistic outlook; on the lookout for relationship red flags and telltale signs that this person is simply not the one. Better to be safe than sorry, right?
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Image credits: Mireyaz02 (not the actual photo)
As an antidote to this negativity, Tumblr user Lois Jones, who goes under the username thepassioncrisis, decided to turn things around and see things from a more optimistic perspective. She started a wholesome and interesting discussion about all the good things to look out for in a potential partner-for-life, as people listed their ‘green flags’ of a healthy relationship.
Because we all have our own needs and desires, the dating advice was wide-ranging. From tongue-in-cheek quips about portion sizes at dinner to more insightful comments about the importance of communication in any long-term relationship, these responses show the kind of things that we value in our partners, and give us a wake-up call as to what we could be doing better for each other!
Lois herself was thrilled with the positive response to her post. “I love that I’m able to reach such a wide audience and foster debate about how to recognize healthy relationships,” she told Bored Panda. “It’s especially important to me that young people are able to recognize good relationships and not just toxic ones.”
“I’m in a loving, polyamorish relationship, so the green flags I talk about are quite personal to me and very important in my life. I’ve actually had a couple of polyamory blogs talk about my post positively, which definitely made my heart sing!”
Lois, 18, is also a poet and aspiring novelist, she loves to be able to touch people’s lives through her writing. “I love writing about relationships in all their forms,” she told us. “To be able to spread positive messages about love to such a wide audience would be an absolute dream!”
Lois is publishing her first book this summer titled Seasonal Shifts. For more info about her work, you can check out her writing blog here.
What do you think? Do you have any dating tips to add to the list? Do you notice and appreciate the ‘green flags’ that you see in your significant other? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!
What do you think ?
Hans 5 years ago
Despite the positivism, this posting overlooks that reality is much more complex. Abusive people with narcistic tendencies might make you feel like there are all "green" signs, and even make you blame yourself for possible "red" ones. Moreover, serious self-doubt might hamper one's ability to receive the "green" signals someone is sending.
John Louis 5 years ago
while I agree that the above behavior can be used to manipulate on a limited scale narcissists and sociopaths generally do not do the things that are listed above.
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fruit_panda 5 years ago
My first "green flag" with my husband was the way he played with his dog - all out, hands and knees on the ground, obviously the dog's favorite person and both of them having the best time in the world. He's always incredibly kind to animals and is the kind of person who stops to help turtles across the road. I always consider meanness/apathy toward animals to be a major red flag. I ignored it once in a friend, only to slowly realize she was a terrible person and cut her out of my life after knowing her for almost ten years and being a bridesmaid for her.
Linouchka 99 5 years ago
My first major green flag was when he first invited me to a dinner at his (parents) place : he cooked a terrific meal (still does, but that's not the point I'm talking about), and over the dinner, told me that with his professional possibilities, he could very well ask for a position near my hometown instead of his. (we met on an Internet discussion forum and lived 135 km apart.) This proposal, on our first private indoors date, was more commitment to a relationship than what my ex had ever shown to me in five and half years... I was stunned and thought "Wow, this guy really means it !" He was sweet 22 at that time, me 25, and I just knew this one was The One. Committed, responsible, but also funny and tenderly loving. We've been together 18 years now and about to get married next month :-)
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SirPatTheCat 5 years ago
Me reading this even though I'm a single Pringle and have no interest in dating: "hmm"
fruit_panda 5 years ago
Don't be a turd, Twicerice. I think 'single pringle' is great :)
Load More Replies... Hans 5 years ago
Despite the positivism, this posting overlooks that reality is much more complex. Abusive people with narcistic tendencies might make you feel like there are all "green" signs, and even make you blame yourself for possible "red" ones. Moreover, serious self-doubt might hamper one's ability to receive the "green" signals someone is sending.
John Louis 5 years ago
while I agree that the above behavior can be used to manipulate on a limited scale narcissists and sociopaths generally do not do the things that are listed above.
Load More Replies... fruit_panda 5 years ago
My first "green flag" with my husband was the way he played with his dog - all out, hands and knees on the ground, obviously the dog's favorite person and both of them having the best time in the world. He's always incredibly kind to animals and is the kind of person who stops to help turtles across the road. I always consider meanness/apathy toward animals to be a major red flag. I ignored it once in a friend, only to slowly realize she was a terrible person and cut her out of my life after knowing her for almost ten years and being a bridesmaid for her.
Linouchka 99 5 years ago
My first major green flag was when he first invited me to a dinner at his (parents) place : he cooked a terrific meal (still does, but that's not the point I'm talking about), and over the dinner, told me that with his professional possibilities, he could very well ask for a position near my hometown instead of his. (we met on an Internet discussion forum and lived 135 km apart.) This proposal, on our first private indoors date, was more commitment to a relationship than what my ex had ever shown to me in five and half years... I was stunned and thought "Wow, this guy really means it !" He was sweet 22 at that time, me 25, and I just knew this one was The One. Committed, responsible, but also funny and tenderly loving. We've been together 18 years now and about to get married next month :-)
Load More Replies... SirPatTheCat 5 years ago
Me reading this even though I'm a single Pringle and have no interest in dating: "hmm"
fruit_panda 5 years ago
Don't be a turd, Twicerice. I think 'single pringle' is great :)
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